NationStates Jolt Archive

Mage: The Ascension, of course.

You're a...

You're a... a...

A WOMAN GAMER??? @_@

HOW CAN THIS BE??? WOMEN GAMERS ARE A GOOD, ROMANTIC MYTH, LIKE ELVES AND STUFF!!! @_@

*Gives cookie to Kat, that opened his world up to the magnificent possibilities of women and gaming*

:p

You're a...

You're a... a...

A WOMAN GAMER??? @_@

HOW CAN THIS BE??? WOMEN GAMERS ARE A GOOD, ROMANTIC MYTH, LIKE ELVES AND STUFF!!! @_@

*Gives cookie to Kat, that opened his world up to the magnificent possibilities of women and gaming*

:p

Oh, HELL yeah, I've played AD&D 2nd ed., Vampire: the Masquerade 2nd ed (got the third ed books, hate 'em) Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I have the books for Hunter and Changeling... I've got most if not all of the TSR 1980s Marvel Super-Heroes game, played DC Superheroes too.... Traveller... FASA's Star Trek, West End Games' Star Wars.... read Mummy..... Villains and Vigilantes... Boot Hill.... got the Serenity core book...


*looks at Heikoku*
*starts fanning, loosening shirt collar button, and bathing his forehead with a cool washcloth*

I think I made him faint.

Oh, HELL yeah, I've played AD&D 2nd ed., Vampire: the Masquerade 2nd ed (got the third ed books, hate 'em) Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I have the books for Hunter and Changeling... I've got most if not all of the TSR 1980s Marvel Super-Heroes game, played DC Superheroes too.... Traveller... FASA's Star Trek, West End Games' Star Wars.... read Mummy..... Villains and Vigilantes... Boot Hill.... got the Serenity core book...


*looks at Heikoku*
*starts fanning, loosening shirt collar button, and bathing his forehead with a cool washcloth*

I think I made him faint.

If I pay your ticket and feed you, will you come live with me in Brazil so we can game? :p

Ah, Chaotic Neutral wizards and madcap Children of the Aether! Nature: Eccentric, Behavior: Comedian! Joy...

Oh, HELL yeah, I've played AD&D 2nd ed., Vampire: the Masquerade 2nd ed (got the third ed books, hate 'em) Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I have the books for Hunter and Changeling... I've got most if not all of the TSR 1980s Marvel Super-Heroes game, played DC Superheroes too.... Traveller... FASA's Star Trek, West End Games' Star Wars.... read Mummy..... Villains and Vigilantes... Boot Hill.... got the Serenity core book...


*looks at Heikoku*
*starts fanning, loosening shirt collar button, and bathing his forehead with a cool washcloth*

I think I made him faint.hey Kat, you can make me faint anytime you want... :p

oh, and any chance of getting a copy of the rule books for the Marvel game? their updated version sucks.

If I pay your ticket and feed you, will you come live with me in Brazil so we can game? :p

Ah, Chaotic Neutral wizards and madcap Children of the Aether! Nature: Eccentric, Behavior: Comedian! Joy...

I played a Verbena runecutter -- until my ST got too queasy about it and asked me if I could just stop doing that. ;)

I actually ran a Marvel campaign for five years.

And while that's a kind and tempting offer, I think Carterway might object to me moving to Brazil. :)

hey Kat, you can make me faint anytime you want... :p

oh, and any chance of getting a copy of the rule books for the Marvel game? their updated version sucks.

http://www.classicmarvel.com/
http://www.marvelrpg.net/

:)

I played a Verbena runecutter -- until my ST got too queasy about it and asked me if I could just stop doing that. ;)

I actually ran a Marvel campaign for five years.

And while that's a kind and tempting offer, I think Carterway might object to me moving to Brazil. :)

How much did you have in Life?

http://www.classicmarvel.com/
http://www.marvelrpg.net/

:)
ohhhh.... thanks... now to kiss the rest of my afternoon bye-bye.... :D

You're a...

You're a... a...

A WOMAN GAMER??? @_@

HOW CAN THIS BE??? WOMEN GAMERS ARE A GOOD, ROMANTIC MYTH, LIKE ELVES AND STUFF!!! @_@

*Gives cookie to Kat, that opened his world up to the magnificent possibilities of women and gaming*

:p

Me, too! D&D, Cyberpunk 2020, Victoriana, ummmm.... Lots of other games whose names I can't remember right now. And yes, I am a woman.

oh... me thinks an online forum for RPG players might actually work... :p

Me, too! D&D, Cyberpunk 2020, Victoriana, ummmm.... Lots of other games whose names I can't remember right now. And yes, I am a woman.

*Dies from a heart attack*

*Dies from a heart attack*

*Prays to Mystra for a Resurrection!*

Justice may not have been served, but thread certainly has been hijacked.

Which, in an injust sort of way, is justice. Sort of. :p

*Prays to Mystra for a Resurrection!*

True Ressurrection or lose-one-level Ressurrection? :p

Justice may not have been served, but thread certainly has been hijacked.

Which, in an injust sort of way, is justice. Sort of. :p

Meh. Hijack by mods isn't hijack. Then again, Kat, my dear Verbena, could you make this part of the thread into a separate "women gamers exist" thread? ^_^

True Ressurrection or lose-one-level Ressurrection? :p
well it depends on which system you "believe" in. :p

well it depends on which system you "believe" in. :p

3rd Ed. :p

I'll be nice then and cast True res. ;)

Meh. Hijack by mods isn't hijack.

Yeah it is. Kat, you ought to be ashamed.

* slaps Katganistan around with a large trout (+ 3 power for augmented Celerity) *

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/split_sm.jpg

Oh, HELL yeah, I've played AD&D 2nd ed., Vampire: the Masquerade 2nd ed (got the third ed books, hate 'em) Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I have the books for Hunter and Changeling... I've got most if not all of the TSR 1980s Marvel Super-Heroes game, played DC Superheroes too.... Traveller... FASA's Star Trek, West End Games' Star Wars.... read Mummy..... Villains and Vigilantes... Boot Hill.... got the Serenity core book...


*looks at Heikoku*
*starts fanning, loosening shirt collar button, and bathing his forehead with a cool washcloth*

I think I made him faint.

ah youngster. Now if you spoke of Chainmail then I would be surprised! :p

Yeah it is. Kat, you ought to be ashamed.

* slaps Katganistan around with a large trout (+ 3 power for augmented Celerity) *

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/split_sm.jpg


*Jumps in front of the trout and takes the damage, as per the first instinct of every male gamer when dealing with a female one*

:D

I'll be nice then and cast True res. ;)

I'm alive and have all my levels! :D

My post-college gaming group was at least 50% women. I'm not at all surprised to game with women, nor am I shocked when they wear armor and decent protective clothing instead of chain mail bikinis.

Incidentally, a lot of the women (and a few of the men) in that group have names you might recognize if you're an avid roleplayer. Our little group has authored 20-30% of White Wolf's first and second edition games, maybe 20% of TSR's old Ravenloft stuff, plus material for GURPS, Palladium, Columbia Games, Kenzer & Co, and probably a bunch of newer stuff I haven't kept up with.

Wimmin RPers write some great characters, background, politics, and environment. Males tend to be more swords and blasters and mayhem, which gets boring after a while.

My post-college gaming group was at least 50% women. I'm not at all surprised to game with women, nor am I shocked when they wear armor and decent protective clothing instead of chain mail bikinis.

Incidentally, a lot of the women (and a few of the men) in that group have names you might recognize if you're an avid roleplayer. Our little group has authored 20-30% of White Wolf's first and second edition games, maybe 20% of TSR's old Ravenloft stuff, plus material for GURPS, Palladium, Columbia Games, Kenzer & Co, and probably a bunch of newer stuff I haven't kept up with.

Wimmin RPers write some great characters, background, politics, and environment. Males tend to be more swords and blasters and mayhem, which gets boring after a while.

That true? If you know who came up with the Virtual Adepts and the Sons of Aether, thank them! ;)

Ironically, I'm better with background. However, I'm a strategist in my games, so I'm somewhat "blaster", yes. Sword, no, because the guys with the swords are usually used by my characters as meat shield. :D

Yeah it is. Kat, you ought to be ashamed.

* slaps Katganistan around with a large trout (+ 3 power for augmented Celerity) *

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v488/frisbeeteria/split_sm.jpg

*looks ashamed* "Sorry, Fris....."

I forget what I had in life -- I played the Verbena very briefly (boo for squeamish STs). The White Wolf character I played most was my 8th Generation Gangrel, who had been a cheerleader in life.... and then turned into a sometimes-furry cuisinart.

some woman own XBOXs and PSs too

*looks ashamed* "Sorry, Fris....."

I forget what I had in life -- I played the Verbena very briefly (boo for squeamish STs). The White Wolf character I played most was my 8th Generation Gangrel, who had been a cheerleader in life.... and then turned into a sometimes-furry cuisinart.

I have this mental image that people that plays White Wolf's products are creepier than the other run of the mill D&D-ers...

BTW, ... atleast you're not a Nosferatu cuisinart.

When I started playing, the boy/girl ratio in my group was 50/50 (with a male DM). Since that time the ratio has changed, but even if the rate of women diminished it never quite disappeared.

That said, let me post this:

http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/951/gamergirlssm8.jpg

I have this mental image that people that plays White Wolf's products are creepier than the other run of the mill D&D-ers...

BTW, ... atleast you're not a Nosferatu cuisinart.

Nah though I did have a Nosferatu named Melanie for a while. She had been rather beautiful in life but an utter creep... then someone decided to make the inside match the outside. ;) She was... an interesting person to play.

And not a Cuisinart by any means.

I've never LARPed (to me that's just getting too much into character for my comfort level) but I did occasionally use props around the table. Our group had a bar they went to all the time that catered to all sorts ;). The ST played a waitress asking for our order, and in the dim basement we were playing in, I said, "No thanks, brought my own" pulled out a jar of tomato juice I'd bought earlier and taken the label off, and took a swig. The looks on everyone's faces were priceless -- for about ten seconds, the group was warring between 'Did she just do what I *THINK* she did?' and 'No way, Kat's not insane.'

some woman own XBOXs and PSs too

Haha! I do indeed! Thanks for the vote of confidence. :D

Haha! I do indeed! Thanks for the vote of confidence. :D

thanks

I like my Malkavian :)

Haha! I do indeed! Thanks for the vote of confidence. :D
Fluffle-by!
*Runs by*
:fluffle:
*Flees*

I've never LARPed (to me that's just getting too much into character for my comfort level) but I did occasionally use props around the table. Our group had a bar they went to all the time that catered to all sorts ;). The ST played a waitress asking for our order, and in the dim basement we were playing in, I said, "No thanks, brought my own" pulled out a jar of tomato juice I'd bought earlier and taken the label off, and took a swig. The looks on everyone's faces were priceless -- for about ten seconds, the group was warring between 'Did she just do what I *THINK* she did?' and 'No way, Kat's not insane.'

NIIIIIICE!!! :D

I like my Malkavian :)

Ah, Malkavians! The kangaroo rats of the billiard room! :D

ah youngster. Now if you spoke of Chainmail then I would be surprised! :p... Tunnels and Trolls?

*looks ashamed* "Sorry, Fris....."

I forget what I had in life -- I played the Verbena very briefly (boo for squeamish STs). The White Wolf character I played most was my 8th Generation Gangrel, who had been a cheerleader in life.... and then turned into a sometimes-furry cuisinart.
I liked my Gangrel...

he trained himself to be semi-comfortable around fire. so his main weapons are car flares. :p

the first time I pulled the Flares out was on some staked punks... I wedged the flare into his mouth and said...

"My name is ____ and it pisses me off when people fuck with my friends." then I pop the flare and we left the room...


of course, the fact that my companion just finished dousing the room with gasoline...


never got to meet my Warewolf companion... :(

Female gamers always seemed like some sort of myth, until I started playing Live Action games. LARP, particularly Vampire, just seemed to appeal to some girls. If it weren't for LARP, several gamers I know may never have escaped from their basement to claim much needed female attention.

Tabletop gamer girls are much more rare. I have only ever come across a couple.


Oh, and thanks for the Marvel Super Heroes linkage there Kat! Nostalgia here we come...

When I started playing, the boy/girl ratio in my group was 50/50 (with a male DM). Since that time the ratio has changed, but even if the rate of women diminished it never quite disappeared.

That said, let me post this:

http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/951/gamergirlssm8.jpg

Hee hee - that is a wonderful poster. I may need to steal its caption and put it under a picture of myself and some of my friends sometime. :)

Oh, HELL yeah, I've played AD&D 2nd ed., Vampire: the Masquerade 2nd ed (got the third ed books, hate 'em) Werewolf: the Apocalypse, I have the books for Hunter and Changeling... I've got most if not all of the TSR 1980s Marvel Super-Heroes game, played DC Superheroes too.... Traveller... FASA's Star Trek, West End Games' Star Wars.... read Mummy..... Villains and Vigilantes... Boot Hill.... got the Serenity core book...


*looks at Heikoku*
*starts fanning, loosening shirt collar button, and bathing his forehead with a cool washcloth*

I think I made him faint.

Awesome, ever played any Cthulhu or Spycraft? If you're into mystery (Cthulhu) or Spy stuff (Spycraft obviously) and like 3rd edition D&D it's worth a try.

When I started playing, the boy/girl ratio in my group was 50/50 (with a male DM). Since that time the ratio has changed, but even if the rate of women diminished it never quite disappeared.

That said, let me post this:

http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/951/gamergirlssm8.jpg

... you know... I got several minatures of the demoness she's dressed up as... including several "christmas themed" ones...

When I started playing, the boy/girl ratio in my group was 50/50 (with a male DM). Since that time the ratio has changed, but even if the rate of women diminished it never quite disappeared.

That said, let me post this:

http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/951/gamergirlssm8.jpg

... you know... I got several minatures of the demoness she's dressed up as... including several "christmas themed" ones...

You're a...

You're a... a...

A WOMAN GAMER??? @_@

HOW CAN THIS BE??? WOMEN GAMERS ARE A GOOD, ROMANTIC MYTH, LIKE ELVES AND STUFF!!! @_@

*Gives cookie to Kat, that opened his world up to the magnificent possibilities of women and gaming*

:p

Does a transwoman gamer count?

Does a transwoman gamer count?

Sure. o_O

1. You’ve just arrived in a new town. You immediately:
a. sigh in relief.
b. find the nearest tavern.
c. strip down to your underwear.
d. do all of the above, to start with.

2. Wizards are:
a. snappy dressers.
b. valuable allies.
c. awful darn smart.
d. cute on the end of a spear.

3. What’s the best way to test for trapdoors?
a. With eyes shut.
b. Make the half-ogre go first.
c. Jump up and down a lot.
d. Burn the place to the ground.

4. It’s late at night, the moon is full, and you notice that your partner is turning hairy. What do you do?
a. Compliment him on his coiffure.
b. Whip out the scissors and wolves bane.
c. Check your pack for doggie chow.
d. Join him.

5. A portable hole:
a. a day keeps the ogre away.
b. comes in handy in the king’s treasury.
c. What?
d. holds a lot of beer,

6. Given the choice, you’d rather have:
a. lint-free chain mail.
b. l,000,000 gold pieces.
c. a chocolate-chip cookie.
d. a sword and a major land war.

7. Describe a hill giant.
a. A large, smelly Muppet.
b. Big, hairy, ugly, and strong.
c. Your last blind date.
d. All of the above.

8. You are in a cave when your torch goes out. You:
a. scream.
b. cannot see.
c. hit your head.
d. throw the torch away and continue on ahead.

9. Your deity tells you to walk on hot coals. You promptly:
a. practice shouting .Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!.
b. get a new deity.
c. invite your friends to a cook-out.
d. attack him.

10. You find out that the ship you are on is manned by vicious, savage buccaneers. You:
a. double-check the travel brochure.
b. swim for shore.
c. taunt them.
d. join them.

11. What makes your mouth. water?
a. Vichyssoise.
b. A leg of mutton and a jug of mead.
c. A burger and fries.
d. A dead brontosaurus.

12. What is a bard?
a. A sophisticated, wandering musician.
b. My DM doesn’t allow them.
c. A piece of lumber.
d. The hair on your face.

13. What scares you the most?
a. Gross, icky, crawly things.
b. A tribe of bloodthirsty primitives on your doorstep.
c. An umber hulk in leotards.
d. Mom.

14. Which would you take as your share of the loot?
a. Gems and jewelry.
b. A treasure map.
c. A wooden nickel.
d. The loot.

15. Someone in your party is a thief. It’s probably:
a. that mysterious, cloaked stranger.
b. the dwarf with his hand in your pocket.
c. your horse.
d. all of the above.

16. You are trapped by a cave-in. You immediately:
a. scream again.
b. try to dig your way out.
c. choose the best position to be found in.
d. kill the fool who knocked over the support beam.

17. Your favorite choice for a pet would be:
a. a gerbil.
b. a war dog.
c. a dung beetle.
d. a mammoth.

18. How can you detect for evil alignment among your henchmen?
a. Look for bad penmanship.
b. Cast a spell.
c. Flip a coin.
d. Use torture.

19. What is the first thing you should say when you spot a bugbear?
a. .So, how does my leg taste?
b. .Don’t come any closer! I’ve got a sword!.
c. .Nice ears..
d. .Yo! Ugly! Let’s party!.

20. If there’s anything you hate, it’s:
a. mismatched armor.
b. being drawn and quartered.
c. the letter .c.
d. not got long to live.

21. Witches:
a. make great gingerbread.
b. aren’t allowed in my DM's campaign, either.
c. Where?
d. don’t wear underwear.

22. There’s nothing more exciting than:
a. the full moon at midnight.
b. the thrill of victory.
c. answering this question.
d. hand-to-hand combat with a thousand cannibals.

23. What heals all wounds?
a. Thyme.
b. Time.
c. Tyme.
d. A week in a harem.

24. Select a title for yourself.
a. Gerard the Thoughtful.
b. Lars the Mighty.
c. Fred.
d. The Terror of Morovia.

25. Keep an eye on your fellow traveler. He might be:
a. a barbarian.
b. a thief.
c. a Democrat.
d. Demogorgon.

26. A princess is trapped in a dragon’s cave. You should:
a. ask someone to help her out.
b. rescue the princess.
c. rescue the dragon.
d. rob them both.

35. You find yourself alone and unarmed in a cave with 100 hungry carnivorous apes. What is your next move?
a. Hide.
b. Hide.
c. Hide.
d. Fight.

34. If asked what your price is for a dirty adventuring job, what do you say?
a. .Lunch at the Bulette Cafe..
b. .The going rate,.
c. .I’ll pay anything!.
d. .How much have you got? Your family, then . how much have they got? Mmm. Got any sisters?.

33. Halt!. means:
a. .Surrender!.
b. .Stop!.
c. .Hello!.
d. .Attack!.

32. Before you’d ever abandon your friends, you’d rather:
a. kiss a goat.
b. slap a sunburned frost giant on the back.
c. get permission first.
d. get all of their money first.

31. You find the thief who stole your horse, money bag, and provisions. You then:
a. count from 1 to 10 before speaking.
b. demand your belongings back, or else.
c. give him the rest of your things.
d. turn him into lasagna.

30. In matters of life and death, you should:
a. choose life.
b. avoid death.
c. dress warmly.
d. loot and kill and pillage and burn.

29. If you had to choose one of four doors before you, which would it be?
a. The door out.
b. The treasure-room door.
c. That one.
d. The booby-trapped door.

28. The best kind of partner is one with:
a. a warm personality.
b. a good sword-arm.
c. a game of checkers.
d. a keg of ale.

27. What’s the most important thing about making camp?
a. Keep the marshmallows in a clean, dry place.
b. Keep the fire low and post guards.
c. Have appropriate party games.
d. Have the others do all the work.

36. You must never forget:
a. to clean up afterward.
b. your spells.
c. the. . . the, uh . . . uh . . .
d. to check for treasure.

37. The best way to handle a poisonous spider is:
a. from afar.
b. with a glove.
c. by blackmail.
d. with a hammer of thunderbolts.

38. An ogre invites you to dinner. You should:
a. check his references.
b. decline.
c. accept.
d. show up wearing your best ogreslayer.

39. You find a dwarf chained in a cell. He says that he’ll lead you to lots of treasure if you release him. You should:
a. think about it.
b. insist that he reveal the whereabouts of the treasure first.
c. attack.
d. release him.

40. There is a disguised dragon in the room. It must be:
a. the terrier in love with your leg.
b. the cow breathing fire.
c. disguised.
d. ready to die.

45. What’s a druid good for?
a. Flower arrangements.
b. Nature spells.
c. Beats me.
d. Calling forest creatures for target practice.

44. What’s a good sign that you’ve had too much to drink?
a. The room is spinning.
b. A wench is leaving the room with your money and your clothes, and you are smiling.
c. You’re out of milk.
d. Your boots are covered with your dinner.

43. What’s the best way to catch a golem?
a. Set out a saucer of milk.
b. Dig a humongously deep pit.
c. Is that a disease?
d. Wrestle him down and hog-tie him.

42. You are trapped in a 10. × 10. room, and the walls are closing in. What do you do?
a. Yell for help.
b. Use a dagger to jam a wall.
c. Leave.
d. Wait for the hangover to pass.

41. Your castle has been overrun by hobgoblins. You’ve been fighting and running from them all day, and have finally managed to hide from them. Then, your henchman knocks over a vase. You then:
a. soil your pants.
b. grit your teeth and ready your weapon.
c. fix the vase.
d. throw the henchman out into the hall.

46. If you were told that a treasure lay in a hole in the wall, would you stick your hand inside?
a. No.
b. Maybe.
c. Inside what?
d. Yes.

47. How strong are you?
a. Not very.
b. Above average.
c. Not very; just had a bath.
d. Damn strong.

48. Do you think there should be rights for orcs?
a. Yes.
b. No.
c. Maybe.
d. Sure: rights, lefts, right crosses, left jabs, right uppercuts, etc.

49. Describe a daring deed.
a. Inviting a goblin to a Tupperware party.
b. Facing a tribal chieftain in single combat.
c. Housebreaking a hell hound.
d. Leaping off a burning battlement into a crocodile-infested moat in front of an army of orcish archers.

50. What is the best thing you can say about skeletons?
a. They make great tap dancers.
b. They don’t have many hit points.
c. They don’t eat much.
d. Some of my best friends are skeletons... now.


Evaluation:
If you answered 30 or more questions with the same letter, then it is likely that you fall into a particular category of adventuring types. These will be listed later. :p

Never seen it before now .... but I'll bite anyway, here are my answers.



1. You’ve just arrived in a new town. You immediately:
a. sigh in relief.
b. find the nearest tavern.
c. strip down to your underwear.
d. do all of the above, to start with.

2. Wizards are:
a. snappy dressers.
b. valuable allies.
c. awful darn smart.
d. cute on the end of a spear.

3. What’s the best way to test for trapdoors?
a. With eyes shut.
b. Make the half-ogre go first.
c. Jump up and down a lot.
d. Burn the place to the ground.

4. It’s late at night, the moon is full, and you notice that your partner is turning hairy. What do you do?
a. Compliment him on his coiffure.
b. Whip out the scissors and wolves bane.
c. Check your pack for doggie chow.
d. Join him.

5. A portable hole:
a. a day keeps the ogre away.
b. comes in handy in the king’s treasury.
c. What?
d. holds a lot of beer,

6. Given the choice, you’d rather have:
a. lint-free chain mail.
b. l,000,000 gold pieces.
c. a chocolate-chip cookie.
d. a sword and a major land war.

7. Describe a hill giant.
a. A large, smelly Muppet.
b. Big, hairy, ugly, and strong.
c. Your last blind date.
d. All of the above.

8. You are in a cave when your torch goes out. You:
a. scream.
b. cannot see.
c. hit your head.
d. throw the torch away and continue on ahead.

9. Your deity tells you to walk on hot coals. You promptly:
a. practice shouting .Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!.
b. get a new deity.
c. invite your friends to a cook-out.
d. attack him.

10. You find out that the ship you are on is manned by vicious, savage buccaneers. You:
a. double-check the travel brochure.
b. swim for shore.
c. taunt them.
d. join them.

11. What makes your mouth. water?
a. Vichyssoise.
b. A leg of mutton and a jug of mead.
c. A burger and fries.
d. A dead brontosaurus.

12. What is a bard?
a. A sophisticated, wandering musician.
b. My DM doesn’t allow them.
c. A piece of lumber.
d. The hair on your face.

13. What scares you the most?
a. Gross, icky, crawly things.
b. A tribe of bloodthirsty primitives on your doorstep.
c. An umber hulk in leotards.
d. Mom.

14. Which would you take as your share of the loot?
a. Gems and jewelry.
b. A treasure map.
c. A wooden nickel.
d. The loot.

15. Someone in your party is a thief. It’s probably:
a. that mysterious, cloaked stranger.
b. the dwarf with his hand in your pocket.
c. your horse.
d. all of the above.

16. You are trapped by a cave-in. You immediately:
a. scream again.
b. try to dig your way out.
c. choose the best position to be found in.
d. kill the fool who knocked over the support beam.

17. Your favorite choice for a pet would be:
a. a gerbil.
b. a war dog.
c. a dung beetle.
d. a mammoth.

18. How can you detect for evil alignment among your henchmen?
a. Look for bad penmanship.
b. Cast a spell.
c. Flip a coin.
d. Use torture.

19. What is the first thing you should say when you spot a bugbear?
a. .So, how does my leg taste?
b. .Don’t come any closer! I’ve got a sword!.
c. .Nice ears..
d. .Yo! Ugly! Let’s party!.

20. If there’s anything you hate, it’s:
a. mismatched armor.
b. being drawn and quartered.
c. the letter .c.
d. not got long to live.

21. Witches:
a. make great gingerbread.
b. aren’t allowed in my DM's campaign, either.
c. Where?
d. don’t wear underwear.

22. There’s nothing more exciting than:
a. the full moon at midnight.
b. the thrill of victory.
c. answering this question.
d. hand-to-hand combat with a thousand cannibals.

23. What heals all wounds?
a. Thyme.
b. Time.
c. Tyme.
d. A week in a harem.

24. Select a title for yourself.
a. Gerard the Thoughtful.
b. Lars the Mighty.
c. Fred.
d. The Terror of Morovia.

25. Keep an eye on your fellow traveler. He might be:
a. a barbarian.
b. a thief.
c. a Democrat.
d. Demogorgon.

26. A princess is trapped in a dragon’s cave. You should:
a. ask someone to help her out.
b. rescue the princess.
c. rescue the dragon.
d. rob them both.

35. You find yourself alone and unarmed in a cave with 100 hungry carnivorous apes. What is your next move?
a. Hide, b. Hide, c. Hide.
d. Fight.

34. If asked what your price is for a dirty adventuring job, what do you say?
a. .Lunch at the Bulette Cafe..
b. .The going rate,.
c. .I’ll pay anything!.
d. .How much have you got? Your family, then . how much have they got? Mmm. Got any brothers?.

33. Halt!. means:
a. .Surrender!.
b. .Stop!.
c. .Hello!.
d. .Attack!.

32. Before you’d ever abandon your friends, you’d rather:
a. kiss a goat.
b. slap a sunburned frost giant on the back.
c. get permission first.
d. get all of their money first.

31. You find the thief who stole your horse, money bag, and provisions. You then:
a. count from 1 to 10 before speaking.
b. demand your belongings back, or else.
c. give him the rest of your things.
d. turn him into lasagna.

30. In matters of life and death, you should:
a. choose life.
b. avoid death.
c. dress warmly.
d. loot and kill and pillage and burn.

29. If you had to choose one of four doors before you, which would it be?
a. The door out.
b. The treasure-room door.
c. That one.
d. The booby-trapped door.

28. The best kind of partner is one with:
a. a warm personality.
b. a good sword-arm.
c. a game of checkers.
d. a keg of ale.

27. What’s the most important thing about making camp?
a. Keep the marshmallows in a clean, dry place.
b. Keep the fire low and post guards.
c. Have appropriate party games.
d. Have the others do all the work.

36. You must never forget:
a. to clean up afterward.
b. your spells.
c. the. . . the, uh . . . uh . . .
d. to check for treasure.

37. The best way to handle a poisonous spider is:
a. from afar.
b. with a glove.
c. by blackmail.
d. with a hammer of thunderbolts.

38. An ogre invites you to dinner. You should:
a. check his references.
b. decline.
c. accept.
d. show up wearing your best ogre slayer.

39. You find a dwarf chained in a cell. He says that he’ll lead you to lots of treasure if you release him. You should:
a. think about it.
b. insist that he reveal the whereabouts of the treasure first.
c. attack.
d. release him.

40. There is a disguised dragon in the room. It must be:
a. the terrier in love with your leg.
b. the cow breathing fire.
c. disguised.
d. ready to die.

45. What’s a druid good for?
a. Flower arrangements.
b. Nature spells.
c. Beats me.
d. Calling forest creatures for target practice.

44. What’s a good sign that you’ve had too much to drink?
a. The room is spinning.
b. Your Date is leaving the room with your money and your clothes, and you are smiling.
c. You’re out of milk.
d. Your boots are covered with your dinner.

43. What’s the best way to catch a golem?
a. Set out a saucer of milk.
b. Dig a humongously deep pit.
c. Is that a disease?
d. Wrestle him down and hog-tie him.

42. You are trapped in a 10. × 10. room, and the walls are closing in. What do you do?
a. Yell for help.
b. Use a dagger to jam a wall.
c. Leave.
d. Wait for the hangover to pass.

41. Your castle has been overrun by hobgoblins. You’ve been fighting and running from them all day, and have finally managed to hide from them. Then, your henchman knocks over a vase. You then:
a. soil your pants.
b. grit your teeth and ready your weapon.
c. fix the vase.
d. throw the henchman out into the hall.

Where is questions 42 through 45?


46. If you were told that a treasure lay in a hole in the wall, would you stick your hand inside?
a. No.
b. Maybe.
c. Inside what?
d. Yes.

47. How strong are you?
a. Not very.
b. Above average.
c. Not very; just had a bath.
d. Damn strong.

48. Do you think there should be rights for orcs?
a. Yes.
b. No.
c. Maybe.
d. Sure: rights, lefts, right crosses, left jabs, right uppercuts, etc.

49. Describe a daring deed.
a. Inviting a goblin to a Tupperware party.
b. Facing a tribal chieftain in single combat.
c. Housebreaking a hell hound.
d. Leaping off a burning battlement into a crocodile-infested moat in front of an army of orcish archers.

50. What is the best thing you can say about skeletons?
a. They make great tap dancers.
b. They don’t have many hit points.
c. They don’t eat much.
d. Some of my best friends are skeletons... now.