NationStates Jolt Archive

Thanks to a phonetics show we watched in kindergarten filled with anthropomorphic characters, I thought that numbers and letters were supposed to have genders.

I also thought that if you took all the raw ingredients listed on the back of a package of food and mixed them together in a blender, you'd end up with the food in question.

And, in elementary school, I made the tragic error of mistaking a "school fundraiser" for a "school funraiser". Needless to say, it was not fun at all. :(

I never believed anything foolish ever.

As a young child, I mistook a knight for a rook. My father checkmated me as a result.

I thought that babies came from having sex rather than from storks, which turned out to be very confusing to the other kids my age. Apparently it was obvious that storks were the real cause of babies. How foolish of me.

I thought people were rational, that we'd soon colonise the Moon and the rest of the solar system, and that I was good enough, and smart enough, and darn it, I was likable :rolleyes:

I believed there would be jetpacks for everyone. Where are the fucking jetpacks?

I thought people were rational, that we'd soon colonise the Moon and the rest of the solar system, and that I was good enough, and smart enough, and darn it, I was likable :rolleyes:

I used to believe that dragons actually existed and that they lived at the zoo.

Thanks to a phonetics show we watched in kindergarten filled with anthropomorphic characters, I thought that numbers and letters were supposed to have genders.


In some languages, they do, you know ;)

That somewhere in my house in Edinburgh there was a secret door full of those flying saucer sherbet sweets.

I used to think that people were kind, and loving, and that people were not idiots. Instead I learn that people are bastard covered in bastard with a creamy bastard center who needs a whack on the head every once in awhile.

When I was around 4 or so, I thought fat people just needed to take a massive shit and they'd be skinny again, and I thought black people had gotten really really sunburned.

When I was around 4 or so, I thought fat people just needed to take a massive shit and they'd be skinny again, and I thought black people had gotten really really sunburned.

You were a Mormon?

I used to think babies actually lived in the stomach (the organ) and in order for them to be born they had to cut the mother up.

You were a Mormon?

No. I'd just seen my aunt suntanning (back in the early 70s when no one knew what it would do to your skin) and I extrapolated on my own. Sort of like the time I took a bath towel up into a tree to be my parachute after seeing it on tv.

I used to believe that life was actually fair.

Then I believed that people were malicious gits.
The truth is actually sadder -- that people are just self-centered unconcerned gits, and don't realize that they hurt others, half the time.

Sort of like the time I took a bath towel up into a tree to be my parachute after seeing it on tv.

So now you have to unbutton your shirt to order a cheeseburger?

I thought people were rational, that we'd soon colonise the Moon and the rest of the solar system, and that I was good enough, and smart enough, and darn it, I was likable :rolleyes:I still live under the delusion that people are rational. :(

Santa Claus, Capitalism and Grandfather Lenin.

When I was around 4 or so, I thought fat people just needed to take a massive shit and they'd be skinny again, and I thought black people had gotten really really sunburned.

Well, that's how I fit into my pants in the morning.

Believing that you could see good and bad in black and white.

I believed that changes throughout human history always tended toward improvement...things always got better over time. How foolish of me indeed...

I used to think that a delapidated (crack)house we drove past on the way to the shops was where casper lived.

I believed that when a baby was born, it simply popped out of the mother.

I also believed that all the Bible stories I learned in Sunday school (when I still went to church) were real.

That there actually was a god. My conversion to communism took many people by surprise. Then I realised that communism was as bollocks as God.

Now I am a happily maladjusted cynic :D

I used to believe in god.

For a while, I blamed my parents divorce on me, when I was like 10.

I thought that when a woman had a baby, it burst out of her stomach through her bellybutton, kind of like in Alien...

I thought the last two words of the Star Spangled Banner were "Play ball!"

Santa and the Tooth Fairy were not real, but the Easter Bunny definitely existed.

I thought the last two words of the Star Spangled Banner were "Play ball!"

They aren't?

There was this guy named Cal Worthington and he owned a used car dealership. There was a commercial that went:

If you wanna better deal go see Cal
better da da da dadada go see Cal

If you wanna change your luck
if you wanna save a buck

go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal.

I used to think it said, "pussy cow."

If you wanna better deal pussy cow
better da da da dadada pussy cow

If you wanna change your luck
if you wanna save a buck

pussy cow, pussy cow, pussy cow

I never did know what a "pussy cow" was. :confused:

They aren't?

Sadly, no. I learned that the hard way when singing the anthem for an event in my grandmother's church. :(

I once believed my aunt when she told me that, if you swallow bubble gum, it will stick your buttcheeks together and you'll blow bubbles with your butt (but won' t be able to poop).

Also, according to the stories, I must have once believed that black people were made of chocolate.

And according to another story, at some point, I thought that a penis and a tail were the same thing.

That there actually was a god. My conversion to communism took many people by surprise. Then I realised that communism was as bollocks as God.

Now I am a happily maladjusted cynic :DOooh, when were you a communist? From what age to what age? And did you get to date any communist broads?

That there actually was a god. My conversion to communism took many people by surprise. Then I realised that communism was as bollocks as God.

Now I am a happily maladjusted cynic :D

I actually used to be an UberFundie at 12. I hate the 12 year old me. :(

Oooh, when were you a communist? From what age to what age? And did you get to date any communist broads?

Well...I think the final straw was when we (myself and some friends) stinkbombed a bunch of peace protesters. I must have been 12 or 13. I had been living in the Netherlands on a USAF base and going around the local Dutch communities with posters supporting NATO and the idea of how cool Nukes were and that the ebil Sovs were going to bomb us with the Tu-22 Backfire bomber, which never actually turned out to be the hyper threat it was made out to be.

So I fell into a bunch of local Dutch peace niks and became exposed to communistic ideals which I took with me to the US (ohhhh yeah....that was fun....what with having a German surname and having come to the Midwest). I moved back to the UK in 83 when I was 15...when I was 16 I 'joined' the revolutionary communist party...never actually signed up...just helped out. Doing stuff...

When I was 17 I realised that these people were certifiable and that the entire political system in the west was geared towards satisfying the needs of the few. So I essentially became an anarchist/libertarian of sorts.

My sexual exploits will never grace NSG. I do not want to be responsible for the final meltdown of the servers :p

I actually used to be an UberFundie at 12. I hate the 12 year old me. :(

I wish I could remember being 12! :p

I don't think you should hate yourself for that...you had little control over it.

Think of it as part of life's rich tapestry.

I believed there was a furnace in our stomachs and our food simpy burst into flames.

I believed that if you were to close to the bath plug you would get sucked in.

I believed that it was little insects, not electricity, that travelled along wires.

I believed that mario was real :(

I believed there was a furnace in our stomachs and our food simpy burst into flames.

I believed that if you were to close to the bath plug you would get sucked in.

I believed that it was little insects, not electricity, that travelled along wires.

I believed that mario was real :(

At 5 I came up with a story that I have been working on to this day. However, the story now is FAR different from what it was when I was 5... it's almost 2 different stories... :p

You were a Mormon?:D did he also believe in Satan back then?

when i was very young i believed that all dogs were male and all cats were female.

As he is colourblind, my brother got persuaded by my other brother that cow's patches are really green, not black he saw them as. He still believed that for quite a few years, must've been about 12 when he found out it had just been a joke.

I thought black people had gotten really really sunburned.

Heh. When I was a toddler, my mother tells me, I once encountered a little black boy my own age, turned to my mother in shock, and declared, "Mommy, that little boy is entirely covered in Hershey's chocolate!"

Apparently, I was terribly jealous. Who wouldn't be? :p

When I was young I believed that adults were weird and illogical.
Now I know.

I was an idealist when I was young. I honestly thought there was a single, set system of laws and ethics that everyone could agree on and follow that would do away with the corruption inherent in the economic, religious, and legal systems of the present day.

Boy was I disappointed.

I used to believe that there was such a thing as a "right" answer. Took me until college to realize that there was really only "the answer with the strongest backing at this particular moment" and a bunch of sore losers.
Foolish, foolish me.

Gawd..I remember when I was around 6 me and a kid were experimenting with kissing...some adults walked by and I said "It's ok..they don't know what we are doing.." lol

I used to believe that birth marks were the first part of a baby's skin that touched the air when they were born. :eek:

I never believed anything foolish ever.

I hope you're being ironic.

I hope you're being ironic.
No, like all communists, DHomme emerged from a cloning vat hidden deep under Trier with his ideals perfectly codified and formulated.

I used to think that people were kind, and loving, and that people were not idiots. Instead I learn that people are bastard covered in bastard with a creamy bastard center who needs a whack on the head every once in awhile.

Scrubs reference?

No, like all communists, DHomme emerged from a cloning vat hidden deep under Trier with his ideals perfectly codified and formulated.

NO!!! Not Trier?? I like that place!

That Paris was in England... or was it London in France? Or maybe I believed that Paris was a country in its own right? Whatever. Something of the sort.

I hope you're being ironic.

Dunno... he does seem like that type.

When I was a little kid, I believed air wasn't matter.
Also most people were really smart.
And probably some other stuff, but nothing I can think of now.
EDIT: Ooh! And I believed that inanimate objects were alive.

Oh, and if you want a really bizarre childhood belief, when I was very small, I was convinced that the letter "i" in the sign for the department store Dillard's was an evil thing that was watching me. Every time my parents drove past that store, I would hide so the letter "i" couldn't see me. I was truly afraid of it.

I really have no idea what was up with that.

I used to believe that life was actually fair.




Me Too ... boy was I wrong!

That every library has a secret documents room where they keep really old books, and one of those books will lead you to another world. I'm still holding out on this one... :D

A cookie for anyone who gets this.

I remember very distinctly asking my mom how a woman got pregnant and her saying "she has to sleep with a man" and then being terrified to take a nap in the same room as my male cousins.....I was just sure I was going to wake up pregnant. (circa 5 year old Smunk)

I also remember actually believing that God lived in the clouds and that thunder was him bowling and that lightening would strike when he got a strike. (circa 7 year old Smunk)

Up until I was about 12 I thought that my home life was normal, that my parents loved me and that life would stay about the same for me, and that I would die before I was 20. I have lived past 20, my life is greatly improved, and I think my mom might love me. So, things are quite different than previously thought.

:( Why'd you think you wouldn't make it past 20?

I remember very distinctly asking my mom how a woman got pregnant and her saying "she has to sleep with a man" and then being terrified to take a nap in the same room as my male cousins.....I was just sure I was going to wake up pregnant. (circa 5 year old Smunk)

I also remember actually believing that God lived in the clouds and that thunder was him bowling and that lightening would strike when he got a strike. (circa 7 year old Smunk)

Up until I was about 12 I thought that my home life was normal, that my parents loved me and that life would stay about the same for me, and that I would die before I was 20. I have lived past 20, my life is greatly improved, and I think my mom might love me. So, things are quite different than previously thought.

:( Why'd you think you wouldn't make it past 20?

major self medication. I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't had that court ordered rehab.

major self medication. I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't had that court ordered rehab.

Ouch. Well, good to see you got past it.

Ouch. Well, good to see you got past it.

oh, I am very happy with my life now, but 10 years ago if you told me this is where I would be, I wouldn't have believed you.

oh, I am very happy with my life now, but 10 years ago if you told me this is where I would be, I wouldn't have believed you.

Same here, though that was instead because I was a bit less socially adept in my mid teens. I didn't really have any lasting friends till high school, but our high school tends to be a close-knit group.

I used to hold my breath going past or in Superdrug or even watching an advert, I'm pretty sure I didn't have a clue what drugs were when I was 7 or 8, guess I just assumed they were bad mmkay. Mind you it doesn't smell too good in super drug.

I also thought that if I could see the top of something when looking forward that I was as tall as it, this includes trees in the distance, buildings and double deckers. This was despite the fact that I knew my Dad was bigger than me and he was smaller than your average tree.

And now he's smaller than me.

I believed in Divine beings.

I had a doll that came with two bottles, one had fake milk and the other had fake orange juice. So I truly believed for the longest time that, when mothers nursed, one breast had milk and the other had OJ.

i used to believe all the tales and exaggerations my dad told. he has an uncanny ability to sound utterly plausible even when he's telling the the most ridiculous story. took me til quite recently to see through him. my sister still falls for it.

Mainly the pronounciation of words is all I can remember.

Sadly, no. I learned that the hard way when singing the anthem for an event in my grandmother's church. :(

I bet it at least got a laugh, tho ;)

I had a doll that came with two bottles, one had fake milk and the other had fake orange juice. So I truly believed for the longest time that, when mothers nursed, one breast had milk and the other had OJ.

Mmmmmm . . . *drifts off into a world of make-believe*

I used to think that everybody was created equal, but then I met someone who was better than me in every way possible.

I thought that a conservative was basically a patriot and nothing else, so I happily called myself a conservative/right-wing for several years. Then I discovered the truth and recoiled in horror.

I had a doll that came with two bottles, one had fake milk and the other had fake orange juice. So I truly believed for the longest time that, when mothers nursed, one breast had milk and the other had OJ.


I remember that doll. I always thought that there was actually REAL milk and OJ in them.

I bought into religion. I believed that the Bible made sense and was logically consistent. Then I read it.

I believed my father was very intelligent. Now I see that he watches Fox News [sic].

Though, I once believed that Fox News [sic] actually was somewhat balanced. I need not comment on this one.

I believed that most people are basically good and that most people are somewhat intelligent. I now realize that the intelligence of your basic human compares unfavorably to a lemming, and that they'll gladly screw somebody else over for little profit (or even none, because it'll amuse them)

Thanks to a phonetics show we watched in kindergarten filled with anthropomorphic characters, I thought that numbers and letters were supposed to have genders.

I also thought that if you took all the raw ingredients listed on the back of a package of food and mixed them together in a blender, you'd end up with the food in question.

And, in elementary school, I made the tragic error of mistaking a "school fundraiser" for a "school funraiser". Needless to say, it was not fun at all. :(

My sister told me paint was made from ground up elves. :D

She also told me Barney was a demon, so I went around town telling people to stop watching for that reason because I didn't want the town to go to hell. :p I became the laughing stock after that. :(

I used to believe people who didn't agree with me, were just being obnoxious and deserved to get clobbered.

These days I keep telling myself I don't believe it anymore.

Mmmmmm . . . *drifts off into a world of make-believe*

Yes, I was quite disappointed when I found out how deluded I had been.

I remember that doll. I always thought that there was actually REAL milk and OJ in them.

Did you ever crack open a bottle to find out? I always wondered what that stuff really was.

My sister told me paint was made from ground up elves. :D

She also told me Barney was a demon, so I went around town telling people to stop watching for that reason because I didn't want the town to go to hell. :p I became the laughing stock after that. :(

Barney is a demon. I was almost possessed by him once when I lived with a guy who would only let his daughter watch Barney. Nothing else. Just Barney. *reaches for crucifix*

As a young child, I mistook a knight for a rook. My father checkmated me as a result.

I thought that babies came from having sex rather than from storks, which turned out to be very confusing to the other kids my age. Apparently it was obvious that storks were the real cause of babies. How foolish of me.

Dude. That first point really doesn't portray you in a good light.:D

I used to think there was a mouse under my bed called buffy, but other than that I just couldn't pronounce "yellow", "lobster" and "car park".

Saying "lellow wobder" did get some real laughs apparently.

I believed the moon was made of swiss cheese.
I also once believed in catastrophic AGW.
I also believed that snakes were slimy even though I actually got to hold one at the zoo.
I once believed that guns were bad.
I once believed that a tree's hole was its mouth and that a family tree was so named because it could eat a whole family in one bite.
I once believed that Minnesota schools were horribly underfunded. (Now I know they get about half the state budget)
I once believed that democracy defened personal freedoms.
I once believed that redistributing wealth was a good thing.
I once believed that most people were trustworthy.
I once had faith in humanity.
I once had faith in God.

I don't anymore.

Mainly the pronounciation of words is all I can remember.

That's always fun. I had problems with spaghetti. I called it "pasghetti" instead. I also tended to add an extra syllable to aluminum, so that it came out aluminumum.

Of course, when I then got to college, and some people would say, "aluminium", I thought they were just mispronouncing it to. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the spelling and pronunciation in the US are different from the rest of the English-speaking world!

That's always fun. I had problems with spaghetti. I called it "pasghetti" instead. I also tended to add an extra syllable to aluminum, so that it came out aluminumum.

Of course, when I then got to college, and some people would say, "aluminium", I thought they were just mispronouncing it to. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the spelling and pronunciation in the US are different from the rest of the English-speaking world!

I used to pronounce "breakfast" as "brefkast"

:D

and I used to ask for "handi-capped fish" when I meant VandeKamp fish.

There were quite a lot that I used to remember but I've forgotten all but a few. I thought for a long time, until I was about thirteen that people put tomato ketchup on food to 'cool it down'. I also called windscreen wipers, 'windows-wipers' and swimming, 'wimming'.

I used to think if I didn't go to sleep quickly when I went to bed, evil aliens would know about it and come and take me away :( No idea why I thought that.

I also used to believe that faries lived on the field outside my house, and if you closed your eyes and spun in a circle they'd drop pennies for you.

I used to believe that life was actually fair.

Then I believed that people were malicious gits.
The truth is actually sadder -- that people are just self-centered unconcerned gits, and don't realize that they hurt others, half the time.

And the other half do shit because it hurts others.

My we are a bunch of cynical, bitter people, aren't we. :p Myself included, of course.

I used to say aminal for animal, and constructions for instructions.

I also used to think the drains running from the front gardens on my street were old tram lines. What? They were metal and parallel, what else were they going to be?

My dad told me that he used to believe that a person could run out of words and that this is what had happened to his father (who was deaf).

I used to believe that Bugs Bunny was real, like Santa Claus. And that he had people dress up in costumes to represent him at Great Adventure just like Santa Claus had representatives down at the mall come December.