NationStates Jolt Archive

And what headline do I see on the 24 hour news channel?

THE WAR ON EASTER!


What constitutes a war on easter? Why not fellating Jesus with every other word apparently. They were deeply concerned that with all the sugary goodies and chocolate bunnies that we weren't focusing enough on Zombie Jesus (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Zombie_Jesus).

I'm awaiting the War on Lent, and The War on Good Friday.

Wait until October. We can start posting about the fundamentalist War on Halloween. :D

Wait until October. We can start posting about the fundamentalist War on Halloween. :D

No no no, the pagans don't get to complain about the Xians! Honestly don't you know how American media works?

If they're really concerned that Easter is in danger they should move to France. The whole damned country shuts down to celebrate Zombie Jesus. I forgot to go grocery shopping the day before and had to live on crépes, Nutella, and one apple all day.

If they're really concerned that Easter is in danger they should move to France. The whole damned country shuts down to celebrate Zombie Jesus. I forgot to go grocery shopping the day before and had to live on crépes, Nutella, and one apple all day.Awwww. Because living on crêpes and Nutella (studiously leaving out the less exciting apple here <.<) is so terrible. :rolleyes: :p

Hmm, we have made a mistake - the War on Religion(TM) now has two fronts, always a strategic error.

Awwww. Because living on crêpes and Nutella (studiously leaving out the less exciting apple here <.<) is so terrible. :rolleyes: :p

Hush you!

:p

Hmm, we have made a mistake - the War on Religion(TM) now has two fronts, always a strategic error.

Rule #1: Never wage a media war in Christiania.

Hmm, we have made a mistake - the War on Religion(TM) now has two fronts, always a strategic error.

Now we declare war on Russia and commence operations in November!


Hey, why are Hitler and Napoleon high-fiving in the back? They told me it was a good idea!

Our blitzkreig of consumerism has devastated the forces of Christmas. We can prepare for a full scale attack on Easter, since they'll be out of the war in a few months. Really.

Our blitzkreig of consumerism has devastated the forces of Christmas. We can prepare for a full scale attack on Easter, since they'll be out of the war in a few months. Really.

We'll be home by Chris... No, wait. Midwinter solstice. Yes.

Our blitzkreig of consumerism has devastated the forces of Christmas. We can prepare for a full scale attack on Easter, since they'll be out of the war in a few months. Really.

While we're at it, can we launch a few cruise missiles in the direction of Valentine's Day? :p

http://thedefeatists.typepad.com/apoplectic/images/waroneaster.jpg

While we're at it, can we launch a few cruise missiles in the direction of Valentine's Day? :p
Yes please, the Valentine's Day affair was a disaster. Stage One of destroying Saint Valentine's Day was a success, with our troops supplying insipid pink cards and flowers to local insurgents, who succeeded in destroying religion from the holiday's name. Unfortunately, we've now ended up with a secular tyranny in the region, with our own weapons being turned against us, far worse than any religious holiday could ever be. The holiday combat divisions must prepare for a new kind of warfare.

Let's not forget St. Patrick's day. All those drunken people has to offend someone.

Well, yeah. Using the Irish national holiday to sell cheap American beer is just plain wrong. :headbang:

While we're at it, can we launch a few cruise missiles in the direction of Valentine's Day? :p

Let's not forget St. Patrick's day. All those drunken people has to offend someone.

Some asshat was starting to complaining that we didn't get Good Friday and was blaming it on America's war on the Christian religion. So I cut him the fuck off and said "If everyone got time off for every religious holiday, no one would ever go to school."

Some asshat was starting to complaining that we didn't get Good Friday and was blaming it on America's war on the Christian religion. So I cut him the fuck off and said "If everyone got time off for every religious holiday, no one would ever go to school."

http://skatje.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/oppressedchristians.jpg

If they're really concerned that Easter is in danger they should move to France. The whole damned country shuts down to celebrate Zombie Jesus. I forgot to go grocery shopping the day before and had to live on crépes, Nutella, and one apple all day.Germany has 2 bank hollidays for Easter :( (the smiley is sad because I also forgot shopping adequate amounts)

I'm just going to finish things up and declare war on Lent, Good Friday, and any of the various feast days.

Anyone else like to add a Christian holiday for us to declare war on?

Hmm, we have made a mistake - the War on Religion(TM) now has two fronts, always a strategic error.
Two? We haven't started the attack on St. Joseph's Day yet?





Oops.;)

We oppressive christians will never surrender to your atheist oppression! Never!

"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!"

Seriously as a Christian (quaker) i don't really care a great deal about things detracting from the religious value of festivals. The bank holidays are great, and its nice to have a celebration every now and then.

Don't know why atheists get so touchy about having a few days off.

We oppressive christians will never surrender to your atheist oppression! Never!

"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!"

Seriously as a Christian (quaker) i don't really care a great deal about things detracting from the religious value of festivals. The bank holidays are great, and its nice to have a celebration every now and then.

Don't know why atheists get so touchy about having a few days off.

it's inconvenient.

Everything's a war. The war on crime, the war on drugs, the war on illegal immigration, the war on terror, the war on homelessness, the war on poverty, the war on easter. But no! America is not warlike, just because our news media and foreign policy can only think in terms of war! We are a peaceful, freedom-loving folk. And if you don't think so, you're just making war on freedom!

it's inconvenient.

You'd think they'd be happy to get a few days off....

You'd think they'd be happy to get a few days off....

I don't mind the time off--I didn't get any for Easter, mind you. It does cause me the occasional inconvenience, however, when I have to allow students to make up work because they stayed home from class for something recognized as a holiday, but the school didn't close for it. Happened most recently for Passover.

We oppressive christians will never surrender to your atheist oppression! Never!

"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!"

Seriously as a Christian (quaker) i don't really care a great deal about things detracting from the religious value of festivals. The bank holidays are great, and its nice to have a celebration every now and then.

Don't know why atheists get so touchy about having a few days off.

Really, you're a Quaker? For some reason I think that's cool.

Anyway, atheists for the most part don't, and not NEARLY as big a problem as the 'war on x' people make things out to be. Seriously, and I get tired of having to say this since it should be patently obvious, it's not us. If you want to celebrate Zombie Jesus day or whatever, fucking fine. Really. Don't care. Not even a little bit. And for the most part we don't care if you wish us a Happy Easter, really-doesn't bother us in the least. Really really really don't fucking care. This 'war' is fabricated, and not by the atheists. It's all part of the persecution complex generator and I'm tired of getting blamed for it or having to answer for something that really has fuck all to do with me.

This 'war' is fabricated, and not by the atheists. It's all part of the persecution complex generator and I'm tired of getting blamed for it or having to answer for something that really has fuck all to do with me.
Besides, of the 9 federally recognized holidays (10 on inauguration years), only 2 of them are religious. By that score, atheists are winning whatever war there is going on.

Rule #1: Never wage a media war in Christiania.

I thought the first rule was "Never get involved in a land war in Asia."

Everything's a war. The war on crime, the war on drugs, the war on illegal immigration, the war on terror, the war on homelessness, the war on poverty, the war on easter. But no! America is not warlike, just because our news media and foreign policy can only think in terms of war! We are a peaceful, freedom-loving folk. And if you don't think so, you're just making war on freedom!

Funny how there's never a War on Ass.

egads!

depending on the variation, we Pagans only get about eight a year, none really recognized on the day they are supposed to either (if one speaks of them from a "federal [U.S.A] recognized" point of view).

never mind how bastardized they have become!

*imagine a place where "As it harm none, do what you will" and use of "Karmic Law" were the basis of Civil laws.*

-Rafe

Besides, of the 9 federally recognized holidays (10 on inauguration years), only 2 of them are religious. By that score, atheists are winning whatever war there is going on.

I thought the first rule was "Never get involved in a land war in Asia."

The first rule is, "never carry a knife to a gun fight."

it's inconvenient.

Ain't that the truth, throws a huge wrench in everything. Scheduling around holidays becomes a nightmare because roughly half will take the friday before off, the other half the monday after. It's a horrid mess.

http://www.wisopinion.com/blogs/uploaded_images/easter-718864.jpg

Awwww. Because living on crêpes and Nutella (studiously leaving out the less exciting apple here <.<) is so terrible. :rolleyes: :p

Actually, it does sound fairly dreary.

Why not fellating Jesus with every other word apparently.

Ironically, a bunch of Christians swarmed like Texas Fire Ants when a Christian artist was inspired to create My Sweet Lord (aka Anatomically Correct Chocolate Jesus) and invited people to lick and taste him. Seems you're supposed to fellate Jesus, but not literally.

:D

Hmm, we have made a mistake - the War on Religion(TM) now has two fronts, always a strategic error.

I would have expected Bavaria to be the one harping on about a war on christian events so just leave the two front wars to Germany. They know how to lose those things with style.

Two? We haven't started the attack on St. Joseph's Day yet? Oops.;)

Germany can win (or draw) with more than 2 front wars in style!

Everything's a war. The war on crime, the war on drugs, the war on illegal immigration, the war on terror, the war on homelessness, the war on poverty, the war on easter. But no! America is not warlike, just because our news media and foreign policy can only think in terms of war! We are a peaceful, freedom-loving folk. And if you don't think so, you're just making war on freedom!

It would be funny to see a 'war on pacifism' with Zapf Brannigan. Hmm, but then we would have to hide the velour.....

Funny how there's never a War on Ass.

What did the association of donkeys do to you?

I thought the first rule was "Never get involved in a land war in Asia."

No, the first rule is 'No one talks about fight club'.

You'd think they'd be happy to get a few days off....

hubby's work has floating holidays, if you want off on a "holiday" fine, if you don't fine, take it whenever you want. much more convenient.

he tends to work on the holidays that everyone else takes off, gets paid, takes off when I want him to, gets paid.

:cool:

The first rule is, "never carry a knife to a gun fight."
"In a land war in Asia"

Huzzah!