NationStates Jolt Archive

I started thinking about this in another thread, and I figured this was as good a topic as any to put the collectively morbid minds of NSG toward:
What is the lamest way to die? Toe cancer? Ear infection? Seasonal allergies? Got an example of someone who went that way?

There should be a poll up soon, but I might choke on a pea between now and then.

Choking to death on someone else's vomit.

Falling pantsless from a high place, and getting your foot snagged in a cable, suspending you in water just low enough that your head is under the water.
Ten seconds later, the piranahs come.

Choking to death on someone else's vomit.

That totally beats any answer I was going to come up with - is there a clinical name for the phobia of choking to death on someone else's vomit? I have just acquired it

A virgin.

Autoerotic asphyxiation. Also being killed by me.

Slipping on a banana peel and breaking your neck.

Or perhaps getting a pie in the face, and asphyxiating on some custard.

How about a whoopie-cushion-induced heart attack?

Autoerotic asphyxiation... during masturbation...

Also being killed by me.

Pre- or post-cyberization?

Flock of Seagulls haircut run a muck.

Autoerotic asphyxiation... during masturbation...

Isn't that redundant? If not, to what does "autoerotic" refer? A Porsche? :eek:

Flock of Seagulls haircut run a muck.

Again, is this not redundant?

Pre- or post-cyberization?

Post, naturally. I'll be a amicable cyborg, spending my days living in and running historical simulations, working on and off when I need the funds, gathering knowledge from across the universe and expanding my collection of rare books coins and fine wines.

But if I'm threatened, I'll demonstrate that my urbane exterior conceals the finest in advanced weapon control systems.

While trying to kill someone else?

Old age would be the lamest... so boring. Everyone dies, so you might as well make it exciting.

A pretzel.

Choking on a roast beef sandwich is a pretty fucking lame way to go.

But if I'm threatened, I'll demonstrate that my urbane exterior conceals the finest in advanced weapon control systems.

But then the person's death wouldn't be lame. It would be high-quality.

Now, if you shot tennis balls at them or something....

After surviving some epic battle against near-impossible odds, falling down the stairs and slowly bleeding to death.

Being picked up by your own Sith Lord and thrown down the core of your own Death Star

But then the person's death wouldn't be lame. It would be high-quality.

True, that's a good point...

Now, if you shot tennis balls at them or something....

I was thinking disco balls. Nothing worse than being killed by 1970's memorabilia.

I started thinking about this in another thread, and I figured this was as good a topic as any to put the collectively morbid minds of NSG toward:
What is the lamest way to die? Toe cancer? Ear infection? Seasonal allergies? Got an example of someone who went that way?

There should be a poll up soon, but I might choke on a pea between now and then.

Being forced to commit sepuku with a spoon. :p

A car rear ending you while you're riding in someone's trunk.

Isn't that redundant? If not, to what does "autoerotic" refer? A Porsche? :eek:
A sexual partner may or may not be involved in the act, however, if one is excluded the practice can be referred to as autoerotic asphyxiation, or AEA. Various methods are used to achieve the level of oxygen depletion needed such as a plastic bag over the head or self-strangulation, typically by the use of a ligature (scarfing). The increased pleasure results from the body producing more endorphins as it approaches the state of asphyxia. Pleasurable or not, it is an extremely dangerous practice that results in many accidental deaths each year.[1]

so just making sure that it's definatly without the partner. A partner could be participating in Mutual Masturbation. thus the clarification of being alone. ;)

Changing a light bulb.

Think about the jokes that would be made.
"Hey, how many [name of deceased]s does it take to change a light bulb?"
"How many?"
"More than one apparently"

After surviving some epic battle against near-impossible odds, falling down the stairs and slowly bleeding to death.

There's a reason why me and my wife put in that circular, sharp-edged metal staircase...

Changing a light bulb.

I died in The Sims 2 that way...

Thought of a lamer way...

dying while proving the activity you were doing when you died is "completely safe and in no way can anyone be hurt"

so just making sure that it's definatly without the partner. A partner could be participating in Mutual Masturbation. thus the clarification of being alone. ;)

Sorry, I don't accept Wiki as a source since they booted the n00b (http://www.thenoobcomic.com/). I still think it's redundant.

A morbid and gruesome pencil sharpener mishap! :eek:

Thought of a lamer way...

dying while proving the activity you were doing when you died is "completely safe and in no way can anyone be hurt"

LOL that's my favourite!

From a tsunami, and a video tape of you walking towards the fucking thing.

There's a reason why me and my wife put in that circular, sharp-edged metal staircase...

Execution method?

"You have committed unforgivable crimes against the Cybernetic Empire of Vetalia. Your punishment? Walk down the stairs!"

I died in The Sims 2 that way...

New lamest way: Dying in reality while changing a virtual light bulb.

Getting bumped by the hentia squid! :eek: Now thats lame :(

"You have committed unforgivable crimes against the Cybernetic Empire of Vetalia. Your punishment? Walk down the stairs!"

We could make it in to a new game show..."Traverse the Stairs of Death and win 1,000,000 Solaris!". I'm sure it would sell to the Andromeda market.

New lamest way: Dying in reality while changing a virtual light bulb.

That guy in Korea came close dying because of Starcraft.

Hmm. How about...

You come down with an extremely rare form of encephalitis that is cured through the heroic efforts of doctors, but ultimately causes some paralysis in your legs. You spend months on intensive therapy, making small strides, and after about a year of extreme effort, you regain the ability to walk again and are back to how you were before the illness. You are discharged, and on your way across the road to a fancy restaurant (seeking some real food for a change) a speeding driver decides to ignore the pedestrian crossing light and you are killed when your head smashes through his windscreen. (He escapes unscathed, by the way, and by some miracle is found innocent of all charges)

Watching Will and Grace.

Choking to death on chocolate Jesus' penis.

What about getting depressed from an NSG flame and then committing suicide, or becoming so obsessed with WoW you think your an orc and attack a police station because you think you have magical charms.

death by attempting and armed.......

......donation......

Choking to death on chocolate Jesus' penis.

Oh noes! :p

Bob Marley died of melanoma, a white mans disease. The kind he had was extremely treatable, too.

Bob Marley died of melanoma, a white mans disease. The kind he had was extremely treatable, too.

I thought he was shot? Or was that Peter Tosh? :(

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0olwWtuSTE) is the lamest way to die! :p

Sorry, I don't accept Wiki as a source since they booted the n00b (http://www.thenoobcomic.com/). I still think it's redundant.

no worries, I thought of another one. ;)

I started thinking about this in another thread, and I figured this was as good a topic as any to put the collectively morbid minds of NSG toward:
What is the lamest way to die? Toe cancer? Ear infection? Seasonal allergies? Got an example of someone who went that way?

There should be a poll up soon, but I might choke on a pea between now and then.

Actually, my dad almost died from toe cancer(Technically bone cancer centered in the toe). Fortunately, it was caught in time, and he didn't listen to the dickhead "Specialist" who wanted to put him through experimental chemo-therapy(He got damn lucky-An opening at the Mayo Clinic opened up the day before he was to start the treatment-and the doctors there were dumbfounded why the previous doctor suggested something like that when all that really needed to be done was amputate the toe). Suffice to say, had he gone much longer with it, it was likely to have spread, and had he not gone to mayo, the chemo would practically have killed him. Wierd luck like that seems to run in our family.

Ho-well, a tangent.(And no-this is not a late April Fool's joke-it's actually true).

I thought he was shot? Or was that Peter Tosh? :(

Yeah. Tosh was shot dead. Marley refused treatment for a malignant melanoma on his big toe because he was Pastafari- err, Rastafarian.

Watching Will and Grace.

Dear God. You win this thread.

Thought of a lamer way...

dying while proving the activity you were doing when you died is "completely safe and in no way can anyone be hurt"

Like that guy who was showing somebody in a skyscraper how strong the glass was by shoulder-charging it and went straight through and fell to the ground and died... Heh... :(

Like that guy who was showing somebody in a skyscraper how strong the glass was by shoulder-charging it and went straight through and fell to the ground and died... Heh... :(

yep and almost like the guy who lit his lighter next to an open oxygen tank to illustrate how dangerous it is to put an open flame next to an open oxygen tank... tho he was trying to prove how dangerous that act is... er... was...

Choking to death on one's own blood.

(I just got my wisdom tooth removed an hour ago. That's what it feels like right now.
But I have become comfortably numb. Let's just hope it'll stay that way for a while!!!)

Choking to death on one's own blood.

(I just got my wisdom tooth removed an hour ago. That's what it feels like right now.
But I have become comfortably numb. Let's just hope it'll stay that way for a while!!!)

Did you catch a fleeting glimpse when you were a child by any chance?

Choking to death on one's own blood.

(I just got my wisdom tooth removed an hour ago. That's what it feels like right now.
But I have become comfortably numb. Let's just hope it'll stay that way for a while!!!)

Vicodin. Amazing stuff. I was trippin balls for a week on that stuff after I had my wisdom teeth removed.

Did you catch a fleeting glimpse when you were a child by any chance?
Uhm? Glace of what?
I never had any tooth pulled before, or drilled, for that matter.
This is totally new to me.
Half of my mouth is numb and I feel like I look like Sly.
Vicodin. Amazing stuff. I was trippin balls for a week on that stuff after I had my wisdom teeth removed.
I only got two injections beforehand, and not even the promised painkiller.

Guess the dentist doesn't believe it'll be a problem?!? :eek:

But that guy was easily 2 meters tall. Come to think of it.

Having your neck broken by the dentist when he tries to remove a tooth is pretty lame, too.

Dear God. You win this thread.It'd be best to think up a lie on your way up to heaven.

Autoerotic asphyxiation... during masturbation...

How else does one die of autoerotic asphyxiation?

Toe cancer? I only know of one dude who died of toe cancer. And that was really dumb.

Uhm? Glace of what?
I never had any tooth pulled before, or drilled, for that matter.
This is totally new to me.
Half of my mouth is numb and I feel like I look like Sly.

I only got two injections beforehand, and not even the promised painkiller.

Guess the dentist doesn't believe it'll be a problem?!? :eek:

But that guy was easily 2 meters tall. Come to think of it.

Having your neck broken by the dentist when he tries to remove a tooth is pretty lame, too.

Wait... you got your teeth removed, and didn't get prescribed painkillers? Damn, dude, you have sadist for a dentist.

Toe cancer? I only know of one dude who died of toe cancer. And that was really dumb.

Like I said, my Dad almost died from toe cancer.

Like I said, my Dad almost died from toe cancer.
Almost doesn't count.

Almost doesn't count.

Accept for horseshoes and grenades... and sex.

Wait... you got your teeth removed, and didn't get prescribed painkillers? Damn, dude, you have sadist for a dentist.

No, and I hope not, but I totally forgot to ask about'em, too. :rolleyes: Guess I had other things on my mind. :(

Anyway, I found this one painkiller pill I had kept for a special occasion like this with Paracetamol and Codeine in it. (Is there an English saying "High as a kite?")

Damn I want a cigarette now!

Uhm? Glace of what?
I never had any tooth pulled before, or drilled, for that matter.
This is totally new to me.
Half of my mouth is numb and I feel like I look like Sly.

It was a comfortably numb reference.

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse...

Like I said, my Dad almost died from toe cancer.

sorry to hear that... glad he didn't.

Choking to death on one's own blood.

(I just got my wisdom tooth removed an hour ago. That's what it feels like right now.
But I have become comfortably numb. Let's just hope it'll stay that way for a while!!!)

I hope he gave you pain killers.

Not that it hurts all that much; or at least didn't for me..

But there are moments where you'll prefer to be high on pills. *nods*

Suddenly and instantaneously being crushed by a sudden gravitational anomaly into a sphere the size of a marble and then rolling into the gutter never to be heard from again.

Lame, lame, Lame!!! :p

It was a comfortably numb reference.

When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse...
Oh, stupid me! (And I started the reference, too. I didn't remember the lyrics!)
I hope he gave you pain killers.

Not that it hurts all that much; or at least didn't for me..

But there are moments where you'll prefer to be high on pills. *nods*
No, didn't get any pain killers, but still have one for later when it starts to bug me.

Dying in a car crash after trying not to hit some damn annoying seagulls- especially when they would have just flown away anyway. Seagulls are rather evil creatures.

Getting buried under elephant shit:

http://www.8bm.com/diatribes/volume01/022/435.htm

from diarrhea

Wasn't there that website where you filled in a questionnaire or something and it told you how you'd die?
I think someone got something along the lines of:
You are ambushed by a gang of malevolent dwarfs, who wrap you in cling film. They then heat you up with hairdryers, making the cling film shrink aroung you and crushing you to death.

Drowning in a sewerage plant

(no one wants to recover your body)

Olmedreca;12502997']Getting buried under elephant shit:

http://www.8bm.com/diatribes/volume01/022/435.htm

http://www.snopes.com/critters/malice/feces.asp

Broken neck due to overly vigorous autofellatio attempt.

While trying to kill someone else?

I'm with you on that one.

As a side issue, I think 'attempted robbery' is the lamest crime ever.
Picture it:
Robber: "Gimme your wallet!"
Victim: "No."

dying while proving the activity you were doing when you died is "completely safe and in no way can anyone be hurt"

Famously:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Sedgwick

being overcome by your own flatulence. Losing consciousness from the gas and continuing to fart til you suffocate and die.

Death by Pringle. A friend and I have been trying to figure out if it's even possible.

being overcome by your own flatulence. Losing consciousness from the gas and continuing to fart til you suffocate and die.

Impossible:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters_%28season_3%29#Facts_About_Flatulence

A coworker recently was sitting on the side of the bed in the morning an choked on a bit of spittle until he passed out, smack his head hard against a table and wrenching his neck. Showing up to work with a huge bruise and barely able to move was pretty lame. Dying from it would have been lamer.

Impossible:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters_%28season_3%29#Facts_About_Flatulence


They would have been more accurate in their testing if they used this guy:

http://dabble.com/node/9632229

and not the realtively healthy people on the show.