NationStates Jolt Archive

I've been listening to a fellow named Tom Lykis (those of you that live in SoCal, the radio station is 97.1 FM). He has gone through a few divorces and, naturally, has a few interesting takes on dating certain women. He's also good to listen to if you've recently had a break up. :p

Anywho, after listening to a "sermon" from Lykis, I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I was just going to ask the NS Generalites...

Are women that ask for monthly gifts "prostitutes?" Moreover, can the act of asking for gifts for dating be construed as "prostitution?" My take is yesh but...

Poll coming anyway.

Tom Lykis is a misogynist asshole who instructs guys on how to get laid for zero output of energy and money.

Specifically, he instructs men to prey on women who have low self-esteem and will pay through the nose to have the men stay with them.

If you don't want to be tarred as a jackass, I'd stop listening to that fool.

Yes.

They're dirty little whores.

Why would someone having gifts make them a prostitute?

You must have a very low opinion of women if all you think all they're for is sex, and that women use their bodies solely to get 'gifts'.

Is asking for gifts for dating an established thing? I admire any woman who gets away with that, I feel sorry for any man who feels he should comply

Is asking for gifts for dating an established thing? I admire any woman who gets away with that, I feel sorry for any man who feels he should comply

If Tom Lykis suggested that a large number of Egyptians worshipped Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess, and venerated cats as a holy animal, I'd immediately do research on the topic to make sure that it wasn't complete crap.

No, quite frankly, I don't. I'm sure this will come off as a lie to those that think lowly of those offering these kinds of opinions, but I've found it hard to still consider people friends of mine if they feel that "women... they're for sex." Very hard indeed.

I've seen it in two people: my stepbrother and a high school chum. My stepbrother is just a womanizer, through and through. My HS friend, however, who I previously knew to be this way... I even told a good friend of mine (at the time) to watch out for him. I was given the cold shoulder... and she broke up with him months later.

Truth is, I have the same level of respect for women that nigh demand gifts from their b/f.

Are women that ask for monthly gifts "prostitutes?" Moreover, can the act of asking for gifts for dating be construed as "prostitution?" My take is yesh but...

A woman who'll only stay with you if you pay her is a prostitute, sure, by definition.. payment in the form of a mandatory "gift" is still payment..

That said, what woman asks for a monthly 'gift?' I've never heard of that.. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and Valentine's day are traditional gift times, along with Mother's Day if you have kids, but those aren't the same as payment. A woman who says, "well, it's the first of the month, so pay up or I'm leaving" definitely veers into prostitute territory.. I've never dated but I'll wager that women don't ordinarily do this.

I've never dated but I'll wager that women don't ordinarily do this.

I'd wager that the only women who actually do that are prostitutes, quite literally.

A woman who'll only stay with you if you pay her is a prostitute, sure, by definition.. payment in the form of a mandatory "gift" is still payment..

That said, what woman asks for a monthly 'gift?' I've never heard of that.. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and Valentine's day are traditional gift times, along with Mother's Day if you have kids, but those aren't the same as payment. A woman who says, "well, it's the first of the month, so pay up or I'm leaving" definitely veers into prostitute territory.. I've never dated but I'll wager that women don't ordinarily do this.

I work with a woman that feels that it is necessary for her boyfriend to buy her a gift or two a month.

She's told me that her boyfriend (who I know) buys her 3 purses a month (and since I know the guy, I've come to think that this isn't really true. But hell, maybe.)

To be fair, I also work with a woman whose husband calls her workplace almost once daily...

I work with a woman that feels that it is necessary for her boyfriend to buy her a gift or two a month.

She's told me that her boyfriend (who I know) buys her 3 purses a month (and since I know the guy, I've come to think that this isn't really true. But hell, maybe.)

To be fair, I also work with a woman whose husband calls her workplace almost once daily...

Wow. I guess I believe it then, though I hope that isn't the norm. I've heard of people sending hundreds of cellphone text messages each day, so I believe the phonecall thing, but that kind of giftgiving is pretty extreme.

Wow. I guess I believe it then, though I hope that isn't the norm. I've heard of people sending hundreds of cellphone text messages each day, so I believe the phonecall thing, but that kind of giftgiving is pretty extreme.

Neither do I.

Thankfully, it isn't the norm.

So.... . He's a prostitute.

iLOL'd.

LETS
DO
THE TIME WARP
AGAAAAAAIN

Tom Lykis is a misogynist asshole who instructs guys on how to get laid for zero output of energy and money.

Specifically, he instructs men to prey on women who have low self-esteem and will pay through the nose to have the men stay with them.

If you don't want to be tarred as a jackass, I'd stop listening to that fool.

So.... . He's a prostitute.

Tom Lykis is a misogynist asshole who instructs guys on how to get laid for zero output of energy and money.

Specifically, he instructs men to prey on women who have low self-esteem and will pay through the nose to have the men stay with them.

If you don't want to be tarred as a jackass, I'd stop listening to that fool.


WELCOME TO 21ST CENTURY AMERICA! Land of men want only sex and women are nothing more than sex objects. GOD BLESS AMERICAN MORALS!

WELCOME TO 21ST CENTURY AMERICA! Land of men want only sex and women are nothing more than sex objects. GOD BLESS AMERICAN MORALS!

Indeed.

Indeed.

I am american and think women are worth more than sex.

I am american and think women are worth more than sex.

Good for you, you're better than a large majority of your country. :D

Good for you, you're better than a large majority of your country. :D

So sad, but so true.:(

Good for you, you're better than a large majority of your country. :D

I'd quote Smite, but I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone... Thank you. Now, if we could just kind of herd American culture away from this kind of thing, that'd be nice

However, I go to college. I've heard a lot of "manly men" talk out loud about how many times he's "banged his girlfriend"

This is basically what my stepbrother is... an Average American. sad.

No, they're not and no it isn't (unless it is the ONLY reason one has sex for). Whoever this idiot is you listen to, I recommend you turn the radio off when he comes on. If there is one thing I cannot stand it is cynical, misogynist men who bitch when they get outsmarted by women. Their fucking problem for being such idiots.

I'd quote Smite, but I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone... Thank you. Now, if we could just kind of herd American culture away from this kind of thing, that'd be nice

However, I go to college. I've heard a lot of "manly men" talk out loud about how many times he's "banged his girlfriend"

This is basically what my stepbrother is... an Average American. sad.


?


Those are not manly men, but men who clearly don't respect women. But I am going stop while I am ahead.:D

?


Those are not manly men, but men who clearly don't respect women. But I am going stop while I am ahead.:D

Hence the quotation marks, Smite :p

Keep going, if you like... it's 3am PST and I need sleep, however.

I've been listening to a fellow named Tom Lykis (those of you that live in SoCal, the radio station is 97.1 FM). He has gone through a few divorces and, naturally, has a few interesting takes on dating certain women. He's also good to listen to if you've recently had a break up. :p

Anywho, after listening to a "sermon" from Lykis, I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I was just going to ask the NS Generalites...

Are women that ask for monthly gifts "prostitutes?" Moreover, can the act of asking for gifts for dating be construed as "prostitution?" My take is yesh but...

Poll coming anyway.
When one puts it like that...
Sounds like Whoredom.:p

Hence the quotation marks, Smite :p

Keep going, if you like... it's 3am PST and I need sleep, however.


I don't get many people here agreeing with my views on things...I just want to relish this rare moment in time.:D

I don't get many people here agreeing with my views on things...I just want to relish this rare moment in time.:D

:cool:

The times I feel obligated to get a gift for my lady are as follows:

1. Christmas/Yule
2. Her birthday
3. Our anniversary
4. Valentine's day

On these days, she gets me a gift too, so it's all egalitarian like that.

That's not to say those are the only times I get her things or she gets me stuff, just the ones I feel bound to. All other gifts to each other come at random times basically determined by whim.

Expecting a monthly gift is quite unreasonable I think. It diminishes its meaning, and makes the motivation for the gift fear rather than love. Other than the 4 important dates when there's a bit of an obligation, I only get gifts for Anna because I'm thinking of her and see something she'd like. There's no consequence for not doing so really.

I wouldn't call women who expect that of their boyfriends prostitutes exactly, though a monthly gift does seem a bit too much like payment. Kinda like rent, really.

I'd wager that the only women who actually do that are prostitutes, quite literally.

I'd buy that for a dollar.

assuming we arent talking about actual prostitutes here.

no

high maintenence people require their admirers to dote on them. they require that they get their way, that they get gifts, that you devote your lives to their happiness. i dont know why anyone puts up with people like that but it seems they do.

your boy seems to be very attracted to such women but not want to pay the price for having her. id call that sour grapes.

Gifts is kinda inherently distinct and separate from buying/selling sex.

And clearly Tom Lykis is a shallow misogynist who thinks sex is the only good that comes out of dating women. Not that I have the slightest idea who he is, but still.

Tom Lykis is a misogynist asshole who instructs guys on how to get laid for zero output of energy and money.

Specifically, he instructs men to prey on women who have low self-esteem and will pay through the nose to have the men stay with them.

If you don't want to be tarred as a jackass, I'd stop listening to that fool.
I have never heard of the guy before but even just reading the OP certainly makes me think your assessment is correct.

Also, who the hell "asks for monthly gifts"?? o.O
Did I miss something in my How To Be A Woman manual?

You're implying that women that receive a lot of gifts put out. How many of those men have this conversation:

"Baby, I got you a new Prada bag!"
"Oooh! Oooh! Thank you baby! I gotta go show all my friends and I won't be back for hours and when I do get back, I'll just be so tired and have a headache, but you can feel free to buy me more things!"

I don't think they're prostitutes. Selfish with no sense of the world, sure, but not prostitutes.

WELCOME TO 21ST CENTURY AMERICA! Land of men want only sex and women are nothing more than sex objects. GOD BLESS AMERICAN MORALS!

youre just exaggerating to make a point eh?

Tom Leykis (correct spelling) and his craptastic radio screed used to be far more widespread and syndicated. He had about a year or two's run in the Seattle market (FM 100.7 "The Buzz"). Leykis hates Seattle and mocks it on air because whenever he went there for a remote broadcast, he'd be shouted down and out-debated.

I am not surprised he's still on the air at least locally. There's enough ingrained misogyny in the greater Los Angeles area to keep him in doughnuts for life.

I must address the assumption that men "controlling" women or wanting them only for sex is somehow uniquely American, and I'll address it thus:

What a load of shit.

Okay, now that THAT's out of the way....

Anyone who DEMANDS gifts is certainly leaning into prostitute territory. Of course, it is often more subtle than an outright demand. Withholding sex until a gift appears without mentioning the desire for a bauble, dropping hints like pigeon shit, etc.

A gift should be motivated by the desire of the giver, not the recipient. The giver should be paying attention to the things the recipient likes, and taking a mental note here and there. Nothing more taxing than that. Sometimes it can be as simple as noticing when she comes home with a sore back or neck and massaging it for her without being asked.

Trust me, gentlemen, noticing the small things and acting on them is far more likely to garner genuine affection than any expensive trinket -- at least the kind of affection which issues from sincerity. Big gestures are fine, when appropriate, but the little things, they add up very nicely.

Anyone who DEMANDS gifts is certainly leaning into prostitute territory. Of course, it is often more subtle than an outright demand. Withholding sex until a gift appears without mentioning the desire for a bauble, dropping hints like pigeon shit, etc.

Okay, seriously - has ANYBODY here EVER met or even heard of someone like that outside of a fucking Hollywood movie? Because I sure haven't.

Okay, seriously - has ANYBODY here EVER met or even heard of someone like that outside of a fucking Hollywood movie? Because I sure haven't.

no i cant say that i have.

I have a friend whos girlfriend does that. In fact, for those holidays like Christmas where she has to buy him a gift, she will buy him something she wants, so that he can give it to her later in the month.

For the people saying mandatory gifts is not prostiution because its not money. I used to know an "escort" (ie. prostiute) who would take nice gifts as payment. She had a wish list that her clients could access online so they would know what she wanted.

I have a friend whos girlfriend does that. In fact, for those holidays like Christmas where she has to buy him a gift, she will buy him something she wants, so that he can give it to her later in the month.The fuck? Raises the question why she's still his girlfriend.

I have a friend whos girlfriend does that. In fact, for those holidays like Christmas where she has to buy him a gift, she will buy him something she wants, so that he can give it to her later in the month.

For the people saying mandatory gifts is not prostiution because its not money. I used to know an "escort" (ie. prostiute) who would take nice gifts as payment. She had a wish list that her clients could access online so they would know what she wanted.

mandatory gifts CAN be a way of paying for prostitutes. but having a girlfriend who isnt happy unless you are always showering her with gifts in not the same thing.

I have a friend whos girlfriend does that. In fact, for those holidays like Christmas where she has to buy him a gift, she will buy him something she wants, so that he can give it to her later in the month.

For the people saying mandatory gifts is not prostiution because its not money. I used to know an "escort" (ie. prostiute) who would take nice gifts as payment. She had a wish list that her clients could access online so they would know what she wanted.


What Whereyouthinkyougoing said....




For the people saying mandatory gifts is not prostiution because its not money. I used to know an "escort" (ie. prostiute) who would take nice gifts as payment. She had a wish list that her clients could access online so they would know what she wanted.

That's not gifts, it's just another form of payments.

Damn, I must be low maintenance.

I don't want you calling every day. An email back and forth is ok. I'm not interested in Valentines Day gifts. A birthday present is okay, but don't go overboard. I'm not into fancy dinners at expensive restaurants.

I've ended relationships where the guy's kept buying me stuff, because they generally then expected me to give them more power over my life. Certain things are not for sale, mate.

Guys are too high maintenance for my taste.

not if there's true emotion involved as well. although anyone who requires to be maintained in a relationship is instantly unattractive to me, at least in any emotional sense. if love is not enough then they can take a hike as far as i'm concerned.

Okay, seriously - has ANYBODY here EVER met or even heard of someone like that outside of a fucking Hollywood movie? Because I sure haven't.

yeh, one of my best friends did that with her ex. i mean it was only half serious but he was loaded and she's very materialistic so it all worked out. she'd basically ask for something like a necklace or new shoes or a holiday, then he'd say no, then she'd whine, then she'd bug him for ages, then she'd give him a blowjob, then she'd get her present. he was an absolute sucker for her though. and before you ask, she dumped him (reluctantly) because she couldn't cope with the long distance relationship, nothing to do with the withholding of gifts or whatever.

Good for you, you're better than a large majority of your country. :D
yeah whatev...I'm sure most americans don't think that way...
don't listen to Lydania...she's from BC. Therefore she's a environmentalist hippie on drugs.

Tom Lykis is an idiot. Although he is entertaining to listen to. I would be very careful on what advice you take while listening to this guy.

As far as the woman demanding a monthly "gift". That to me sounds like a form of prostitution. Although the vast majority of women do not do this. There are women out there and know a few examples that will leave as soon as the money train stops. That in essence is a form of prostitution.

I've been listening to him since 2001. Very entertaining.

Meh, if I was going to listen to someones radio program I'd pick Bob & Tom.

Anyway, for someone who demands constant presents and uses sex as a tool to get those gifts than I fail to see how one can't place a prostitute label on the woman.

Meh, if I was going to listen to someones radio program I'd pick Bob & Tom.

Anyway, for someone who demands constant presents and uses sex as a tool to get those gifts than I fail to see how one can't place a prostitute label on the woman.

because that woman is a materialistic selfish girlfriend

prostitution involves paying for sex. as in, you pay then you have sex. you get sex EVERY time you pay for it. you dont have to pay then ASK for sex. you dont pay and then not get sex and not get your payment back.

a man with a girlfriend like this gets no more frequent or better sex than the man who has a non-present-demanding girlfriend. he just finds that it makes sense to him to keep his crappy girlfriend around by spending lavish amounts of money on her.

And clearly Tom Lykis is a shallow misogynist who thinks sex is the only good that comes out of dating women. Not that I have the slightest idea who he is, but still.

I think the reason a lot of your don't think this is prostitution is that you aren't considering the fact that for people like Lykis and the women they date, there is nothing more to a relationship than sex. In essence, the entire relationship is just one big emotionless prostitute thing.

The person that they're with is just the person that they're currently having sex with, nothing more, nothing less.

And, by the by, there isn't anything wrong with any of this. It's just how some people are.

I have a friend whos girlfriend does that. In fact, for those holidays like Christmas where she has to buy him a gift, she will buy him something she wants, so that he can give it to her later in the month.

For the people saying mandatory gifts is not prostiution because its not money. I used to know an "escort" (ie. prostiute) who would take nice gifts as payment. She had a wish list that her clients could access online so they would know what she wanted.

He should dump the ****, but first he should recover as much of the crap he bought her as possible and return it.

Okay, seriously - has ANYBODY here EVER met or even heard of someone like that outside of a fucking Hollywood movie? Because I sure haven't.

And because you've never met anyone like that, they don't exist?

Trust me. Spend some time in urban Texas or the society centers of the East Coast of the US. They're certainly not the majority, but they are out there.

yeh, one of my best friends did that with her ex. i mean it was only half serious but he was loaded and she's very materialistic so it all worked out. she'd basically ask for something like a necklace or new shoes or a holiday, then he'd say no, then she'd whine, then she'd bug him for ages, then she'd give him a blowjob, then she'd get her present. he was an absolute sucker for her though. and before you ask, she dumped him (reluctantly) because she couldn't cope with the long distance relationship, nothing to do with the withholding of gifts or whatever.

Hmnmm...sounds like she was doing the sucking....

Who the hell asks for monthly gifts?

I've never had a guy even offer me a gift every month, so these women must not be too common if guys don't assume that a girl would require such a thing.

because that woman is a materialistic selfish girlfriend

prostitution involves paying for sex. as in, you pay then you have sex. you get sex EVERY time you pay for it. you dont have to pay then ASK for sex. you dont pay and then not get sex and not get your payment back.

So to that effect.... this is a worse situation. At least with a prostitute you get what you pay for :D

Marriage could also be considered a form of prostitution . . .

Are women that ask for monthly gifts "prostitutes?" Moreover, can the act of asking for gifts for dating be construed as "prostitution?" My take is yesh but...

Poll coming anyway.

Given the level of jerkhood to which this Leykis person aspires, I imagine that no woman would go near him unless substantial gifts and money were being offered.

mandatory gifts CAN be a way of paying for prostitutes. but having a girlfriend who isnt happy unless you are always showering her with gifts in not the same thing.

How?

because that woman is a materialistic selfish girlfriend

prostitution involves paying for sex. as in, you pay then you have sex. you get sex EVERY time you pay for it. you dont have to pay then ASK for sex. you dont pay and then not get sex and not get your payment back.

a man with a girlfriend like this gets no more frequent or better sex than the man who has a non-present-demanding girlfriend. he just finds that it makes sense to him to keep his crappy girlfriend around by spending lavish amounts of money on her.

Sounds like the prostitiute is a better deal ;)