NationStates Jolt Archive

And no, I'm not talking about how you were conceived; we all know there was a man and a woman involved...

What I want to know is the birthing.

Were you like me and slept in, prompting the doctors to perform a caesarian section or did you make your mystical journey through the birth canal?

(partially inspired by the "Where were you born (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522514)" thread.)

EDIT - added poll

I was born a month late, still done traditionally. Without drugs apparently.

I clawed and scratched my way out.

When I was born and the doctor slapped my ass, I kicked him in the nuts. Fucking doctor. :p

I traveled through the canal, and was a couple weeks early I believe. I guess I just got impatient and wanted to achieve my destiny that much earlier.

I was born fully-formed from my father's head.

I was easy as pie. In and out of the hospital on the same day, with a three-hour labour.

Legs first. :cool:

No, actually.. I.. um.. ASTEROID!

Escape pod.

Bursted out of somebodies chest.

I wish the poll was more specific, really.

True, c-section an natural are basically it, but which method?

http://www.mother-care.ca/methods.htm

Can't tell you. I will say that it involved the Donkey Kong arcade game, a package of Twizzlers, a resurrected Varangian Shaman and porn played softly in the background via a Betamax.

I was born fully-formed from my father's head.

You're a Hellenic god?

I wish the poll was more specific, really.

True, c-section an natural are basically it, but which method?

http://www.mother-care.ca/methods.htm

A specific poll would have more people using the joke option than a general poll if people aren't aware of how the specific options apply to them.

A specific poll would have more people using the joke option than a general poll if people aren't aware of how the specific options apply to them.

Damn logic.

Jumped out of my mother's nether region head first. It seems to have worked rather well in my case.

I was not born. I have existed since before the beginning of time.

Yeah, I'm lying, but at least it's an entertaining lie. :p

You're a Hellenic god?

Yes.

Yes.

They never seemed as nice as the other gods, but more human.

And no, I'm not talking about how you were conceived; we all know there was a man and a woman involved...

What I want to know is the birthing.

Were you like me and slept in, prompting the doctors to perform a caesarian section or did you make your mystical journey through the birth canal?

(partially inspired by the "Where were you born (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522514)" thread.)

EDIT - added poll

I was born at 11 in the morning, after false labor and real labor.

Through the ol' birth canal. I've been facinated by vaginas ever since.

beamed down from the vicinity of M42, waiting to be taken home ever since... ;)

I was born two weeks late, by C-section, after having wrapped the umbilical cord around my neck.

I was giving her attitude, so my mom yanked me out her with her bare hands. :D

I was born naturally. I wasn't born in a hospital but in the living room of my parents house at the time.

I was born a week late. My dad drove my mom to the hospital, but my mom refused to get out of the car until she had finished listening to "Bridge Over Troubled Water" on the radio. :p

I was giving her attitude, so my mom yanked me out her with her bare hands. :D

Bad to the Bone :cool:

I came by canal. But it was an induced birth, because I was nine days late, and already weighed close to ten pounds. Any much longer, and I wouldn't have been able to get out!

I was born by C-section because I was a breech baby. My brothers were born by C-section as well, but they were in a lot of danger and were two months early.

C-section. They apparently got nervous as my head was too big, couldn't get out and started turning blue. Hopefully I didn't lose too many braincells before I could think about destroying them in any other way. :p

And no, I'm not talking about how you were conceived; we all know there was a man and a woman involved...

What I want to know is the birthing.

Were you like me and slept in, prompting the doctors to perform a caesarian section or did you make your mystical journey through the birth canal?

(partially inspired by the "Where were you born (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522514)" thread.)

EDIT - added poll


I was born a month premature but otherwise normally. Gotta take exception, though, with the whole taking "a man and a woman involved" for granted. One can't even assume anymore that a man made a donation and the woman was artificially insemenated, because reproductive therapists have actually developed a procedure now where they can remove the DNA from a donor egg, replace it with the DNA of a male donor, and then fertilise the egg with another guy's sperm donation. Still has to be carried to term by a woman, but the baby would genetically be the offspring of two men. And I'm pretty sure they have a modified technique where they can produce a child with two women's DNA.

And no, I'm not talking about how you were conceived; we all know there was a man and a woman involved...

What I want to know is the birthing.

Were you like me and slept in, prompting the doctors to perform a caesarian section or did you make your mystical journey through the birth canal?

(partially inspired by the "Where were you born (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522514)" thread.)

EDIT - added poll


I was born a month premature but otherwise normally. Gotta take exception, though, with the whole taking "a man and a woman involved" for granted. One can't even assume anymore that a man made a donation and the woman was artificially insemenated, because reproductive therapists have actually developed a procedure now where they can remove the DNA from a donor egg, replace it with the DNA of a male donor, and then fertilise the egg with another guy's sperm donation. Still has to be carried to term by a woman, but the baby would genetically be the offspring of two men. And I'm pretty sure they have a modified technique where they can produce a child with two women's DNA.

And no, I'm not talking about how you were conceived; we all know there was a man and a woman involved...

What I want to know is the birthing.

Were you like me and slept in, prompting the doctors to perform a caesarian section or did you make your mystical journey through the birth canal?

(partially inspired by the "Where were you born (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=522514)" thread.)

EDIT - added poll


I was born a month premature but otherwise normally. Gotta take exception, though, with the whole taking "a man and a woman involved" for granted. One can't even assume anymore that a man made a donation and the woman was artificially insemenated, because reproductive therapists have actually developed a procedure now where they can remove the DNA from a donor egg, replace it with the DNA of a male donor, and then fertilise the egg with another guy's sperm donation. Still has to be carried to term by a woman, but the baby would genetically be the offspring of two men. And I'm pretty sure they have a modified technique where they can produce a child with two women's DNA.

Normally.

I was born purple.

When I was born, I wasn't breathing. I had the umbilical cord wrapped tightly three times round my neck, choking me. My parents thought I was dead. A doctor's quick action saved me.

A few months earlier, virtually the same had happened to my cousin in England. In his case the doctors were slower to react, and he ended up with permanent brain damage. (He's not mentally crippled, but "mentally impaired" to some extent.)

I asked my mom once, she couldn't remember very much of it. Not a C-section, as far as she remembered, but that was it.

I can only guess. http://www.schildersmilies.de/menu/storch.gif

I was born the traditional way, although something like a month and a half prematurely. I was placed in an incubator for a short while.

It was warm and incubator-y

Exogenesis.

Stork last time I checked...

I was born a month premature but otherwise normally. Gotta take exception, though, with the whole taking "a man and a woman involved" for granted. One can't even assume anymore that a man made a donation and the woman was artificially insemenated, because reproductive therapists have actually developed a procedure now where they can remove the DNA from a donor egg, replace it with the DNA of a male donor, and then fertilise the egg with another guy's sperm donation. Still has to be carried to term by a woman, but the baby would genetically be the offspring of two men. And I'm pretty sure they have a modified technique where they can produce a child with two women's DNA.

That's kinda cool! We're in for some interesting times.

Traditionally, at 1 in the morning.

After my mother went through nearly 10 months of pregnancy and had gone through false labor 6 times.

Traditionally, at 1 in the morning.

After my mother went through nearly 10 months of pregnancy and had gone through false labor 6 times.

Ouch!

Me, I voted stork. Damn big bird, it musta been, too :p

Ouch!

Me, I voted stork. Damn big bird, it musta been, too :p

:p

Yeah, my sister was born the same way, but Mom then started hemorraging :eek:

Though my sister was born after a normal pregnancy.

I weighed 7 pounds at birth too.

C-section. I was way to big for my very small mom.

Natural birth, 2 weeks late at 8lb 8oz. Working back, I figured out my parents conceived me either on or around their anniversary. And then I threw up.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and I was born backwards! Not ditch-delivered by a drab or anything, but still, score one for weirdness.

Dumped down a building waste chute.

Bursted out of somebodies chest.
I love how it's just "somebody". :)

Nearly strangled myself with the umbilical cord on the way out, but just about made it through the canal.

Traditionally, at 1 in the morning.

After my mother went through nearly 10 months of pregnancy and had gone through false labor 6 times.

My god! You're evil!

I was adopted, so I don't know.

My god! You're evil!

:(

Also, for some reason I have uber-long legs, and nobody in my family does. :eek:

Oh yeah, and my mom wa close to 200 pounds during the pregnancy. :eek:

I came the normal way. Not exacly. The doctor had to use that tool to get my head out. I dont know the name, but it griped my head and pulled out. Why? Because my head was fucking huge (and still is).

Oh man, I´m glad I was not born a woman. The pain, the pain.

I am an android, naturally.

My mom had placenta previa; thus a cesarian section (sp?) was needed. Interestingly, her mom (my grandmother) had the same issue when she was pregnant with my mom.

Is the tendency hereditary, perhaps?

A doctor's quick action saved me.

That doctor did the world a huge favor. :)

A few months earlier, virtually the same had happened to my cousin in England. In his case the doctors were slower to react, and he ended up with permanent brain damage. (He's not mentally crippled, but "mentally impaired" to some extent.)

Sorry to hear that. :(

I was born in the cemetery
Under the sign of the moon
Raised from my grave by the dead.

I was born in the usual way, but at a time when women went into the hospital a few days before and were knocked unconscious. My mother didn't know I was there until the nurse handed me to her a day later.

What I want to know is the birthing.I was born in 1956, in the back of a pink Cadillac...

Imaginary crack to anyone who got that.

I came the normal way. Not exacly. The doctor had to use that tool to get my head out. I dont know the name, but it griped my head and pulled out. Why? Because my head was fucking huge (and still is).

Forceps? My sister is also a forceps baby.

My mother told me I was the easiest of the deliveries she had. But they still have to do a midline episiotomy (you know, cutting the perineum to ease the delivery), I think it was standard back then.

Traditional birth over here, no Caesarian.

That doctor did the world a huge favor. :)


Thank you.


Sorry to hear that. :(

Thanks. He's not "retarded" or anything, but... :(

Makes you remember how fragile you are at birth, and how entirely dependent on other people in an emergency.

Yog-Sothoth opened the gates... and I stepped through! :cool:

I love how it's just "somebody". :):p

It was like this: http://www.mwctoys.com/images/queen9.jpg

Forceps? My sister is also a forceps baby.

My mother told me I was the easiest of the deliveries she had. But they still have to do a midline episiotomy (you know, cutting the perineum to ease the delivery), I think it was standard back then.

Yes, that is it. I think my mother had to be cut too, so I could come through.

I wonder how much brain damage that forceps did to me. I could´ve had been a genius lol.