NationStates Jolt Archive

So do you find these funny? I think its some of the funniest pages I've ever been to.

German Punchlines. (http://www.anenglishmanscastle.com/archives/001513.html)
A few more. (http://www.anenglishmanscastle.com/archives/000463.html)

And I always thought I was a German with a sense of humour...
Sorry, they're neither German nor funny.

I think they're funny. Although I also don't see anything particularly german in it.

Admittedly, in a large batch they quickly lose their effectiveness

Sigh. They aren't ACTUAL German jokes. The joke is that Germans are seen as not having a sense of humour. So instead of the expected punchline, you get a 'German' punchline, which is actually just a logical answer to the question.

For example, a normal joke:
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He had nobody to go with.

Whereas a German with no sense of humour...
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder case in a remote field.

Sigh. They aren't ACTUAL German jokes. The joke is that Germans are seen as not having a sense of humour. So instead of the expected punchline, you get a 'German' punchline, which is actually just a logical answer to the question.

For example, a normal joke:
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He had nobody to go with.

Whereas a German with no sense of humour...
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder case in a remote field.

Ah. Right.








No, still doesn't make any sense. I've never met a German without a sense of humour. Now, if that was about the Swiss or the English, it would make sense.

No, still doesn't make any sense. I've never met a German without a sense of humour. Now, if that was about the Swiss or the English, it would make sense.

Ooh, controversial!

So, is there a stereotype for the English having no sense of humour, or merely your own observation?
I ask because I'm curious.

Ah. Right.








No, still doesn't make any sense. I've never met a German without a sense of humour. Now, if that was about the Swiss or the English, it would make sense.

As far as I was aware there is a popular stereotype of Germans being serious and unfunny. Then there is the other stereotype of a fat German like Uder from The Simpsons. Anyway, the former is the important one as far as the jokes are concerned.

Not that it matters now, analysis has gone too far for them to be funny if you didn't get them quickly.

I fail at threads.

Ooh, controversial!

So, is there a stereotype for the English having no sense of humour, or merely your own observation?
I ask because I'm curious.

Well, there's a stereotype for the Swiss.

The three shortest books in the world are :

- English recipes
- Italian heroic tales
- Swiss jokes

The bit about the English is my own impression. Some of them must be born completely without a sense of humour.

I always liked the joke, "A man walks into a bar ... And falls over"

Well, there's a stereotype for the Swiss.

*Giggles*
*Gets annoyed at people denouncing British cookery*

The bit about the English is my own impression. Some of them must be born completely without a sense of humour.
Yeah... But I suppose the same is true everywhere. And it depends on the humour, I suppose; Americans are infamous for not getting irony.

Hmm... NSG, where the most serious topics degenerate to spam and silly jokes before the end of the second page, and topics about jokes become serious!

If anybody wishes to see an Englishman with no sense of humour, may I suggest a Richard Blackwood DVD...

Those were pretty damn funny...

A horse walks in to a bar..... barman says "why the long face" :p

A example itself of an Engliahman's wit he he he, with jokes like this who can say that the English have no sense of humor... that is unless you happened to visit Yorkshire :)

No, still doesn't make any sense. I've never met a German without a sense of humour.

I have. ;)

Those are just anti-jokes...


Q: What happened to the guy who jumped off the skyscraper?
A: He died.

Then there is the other stereotype of a fat German like Uder from The Simpsons.
Fun fact: Uder is not actually a German name. Or any name, for that matter. Or any German word.

As it is, I like the knock-knock joke.

But if you want to see real German humour, I suppose you could go through youtube. There's a few good things in there.

This comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPoHuIivAm0

Fun fact: Uder is not actually a German name. Or any name, for that matter. Or any German word.

As it is, I like the knock-knock joke.

But if you want to see real German humour, I suppose you could go through youtube. There's a few good things in there.

This comes to mind: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPoHuIivAm0

"Ich schau nochmal schnell in die Flasche wie spaet das is...."
Goettlich!!! Ich hab das ja seit Jahren nicht gesehen! Geil!

Yeah... But I suppose the same is true everywhere. And it depends on the humour, I suppose; Americans are infamous for not getting irony. Ahem. :mad:

Hmm... NSG, where the most serious topics degenerate to spam and silly jokes before the end of the second page, and topics about jokes become serious!
Quoted for truth AND for LOL. :D

The bit about the English is my own impression. Some of them must be born completely without a sense of humour.
I doubt it, this is the most sarcastic nation except for the Brummie's, they are just annoying and too stupid to know what a sense of humour is.

German jokes?

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput

;)

Before anyone tells me it doesn't make sense and some of the words aren't actually words, it is the funniest joke in the world (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_funniest_joke_in_the_world).

How do you drown a blonde?

Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops
struggling.

I laughed.

I have two things to say..
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/jancz/halthammerzeit.jpg

I have a lot of German friends from all over Germany, and I can say that the vast majority are not naturally funny. They understand my stupid jokes but some times they just don't get it.

For example I was with a German couple and an Italian couple. The two couples had a thing going where the Italian wife always asked the German wife the time. It became a little joke. At one point the German wife told everyone that she would be charging 5 euro Cence for every time she was asked. To which I said, "I will do it for 3". Not funny but just a little messing around. The Italian couple just smiled, while the German Wife just looked at me and said "but it would not been the same".

Totally missing my soft humor. I have noticed this a lot with Germans. Unless the joke is totally obvious they have no idea.

The only people I believe who are less funny are the Swiss. They really do not know humor unless they are slapped in the face.

THis is from the link posted above and shows the difference between english humor and Germans. Although I understand that it was made up I think it is quite true.

"There were zwei [two] peanuts walking down the strasse [street]. One of them was a salted... Peanut!"

I think this joke is funner if it reads this way.

"There were zwei [two] peanuts walking down the strasse [street]. One of them was a salted.

I have a lot of German friends from all over Germany, and I can say that the vast majority are not naturally funny. They understand my stupid jokes but some times they just don't get it.

For example I was with a German couple and an Italian couple. The two couples had a thing going where the Italian wife always asked the German wife the time. It became a little joke. At one point the German wife told everyone that she would be charging 5 euro Cence for every time she was asked. To which I said, "I will do it for 3". Not funny but just a little messing around. The Italian couple just smiled, while the German Wife just looked at me and said "but it would not been the same".

Totally missing my soft humor. I have noticed this a lot with Germans. Unless the joke is totally obvious they have no idea.

I'm guessing the Italians smiled to be polite, and the Germans didn't laugh for the same reason I wouldn't...it was a crappy joke...

I'm guessing the Italians smiled to be polite, and the Germans didn't laugh for the same reason I wouldn't...it was a crappy joke...
Just to make things really inconclusive: I'm German and I thought it was funny. :p

Just to make things really inconclusive: I'm German and I thought it was funny. :p

Shh! :p

I'm guessing the Italians smiled to be polite, and the Germans didn't laugh for the same reason I wouldn't...it was a crappy joke...

Alas you were not there so you were right, all your comment is, is a guess. Therefore pointless in this context.

But I have plenty of english men, Irish men, scots men jokes if you like :P

German jokes?

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput

;)

Before anyone tells me it doesn't make sense and some of the words aren't actually words, it is the funniest joke in the world (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_funniest_joke_in_the_world).
:eek:

*Dies laughing*

Alas you were not there so you were right, all your comment is, is a guess. Therefore pointless in this context.

But I have plenty of english men, Irish men, scots men jokes if you like :P

Nah...they're all too tired.

I'm guessing the Italians smiled to be polite, and the Germans didn't laugh for the same reason I wouldn't...it was a crappy joke...

Which is why it wasn't funny until the reply came "but it would not be the same."

And I always thought I was a German with a sense of humour...

You're obviously a mutant. *nod*

German jokes?

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput

;)

Before anyone tells me it doesn't make sense and some of the words aren't actually words, it is the funniest joke in the world (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_funniest_joke_in_the_world).

Aiee!!! :eek:

Monty Pyton refere....

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*dies*

So do you find these funny? I think its some of the funniest pages I've ever been to.

German Punchlines. (http://www.anenglishmanscastle.com/archives/001513.html)
A few more. (http://www.anenglishmanscastle.com/archives/000463.html)

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

Repeated absences and stealing.


:D :D :D

You're obviously a mutant. *nod*

Geez. Sad enough. It seems like it is still a popular prejudice that "ve" Germans have no humor at all. Don't you know the one about Hitler, the wall and the bread?

Geez. Sad enough. It seems like it is still a popular prejudice that "ve" Germans have no humor at all. Don't you know the one about Hitler, the wall and the bread?

I have the disturbing feeling that if I say 'no', you're going to tell me.

Ah, well. I'm a glutton for punishment.

No. Do tell. :)

Hehe.

"Ich schau nochmal schnell in die Flasche wie spaet das is...."
Goettlich!!! Ich hab das ja seit Jahren nicht gesehen! Geil!

Ahh, wonderful high pitched moon-hitler.

Damn! I just did Godwin law. Sorry.

You're obviously a mutant. *nod*

I'm part german, part english (York!) and part scottish. I'm a walking bar joke!

Too bad I make REALLY bad jokes (but I do find some jokes funny).

A horse walks in to a bar..... barman says "why the long face" :p

A example itself of an Engliahman's wit he he he, with jokes like this who can say that the English have no sense of humor... that is unless you happened to visit Yorkshire :)

Hooray for Yorkshire! In particular Everingham.

http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,434399,00.html

A few jokes people actually told during the Nazi era:
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a man who isn't saluting.
"Why aren't you saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," comes the answer. "I'm not crazy!"

Hitler and Göring are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. "Why don't you just jump?" suggests Göring.

"A senior Nazi visits a factory and asks the manager whether he still has Social Democrats among his workforce.
"Yes, 80 percent," comes the reply.
"Do you also have members of the Catholic Center Party?" "Yes, 20 percent," the manager responds.
"Don't you have any National Socialists?"
"Yes we're all Nazis now!"

"Göring has attached an arrow to the row of medals on his tunic. It reads 'continued on the back.'"

"Two Jews are about to be shot. Suddenly the order comes to hang them instead. One says to the other "You see, they're running out of bullets."

Two men meet. "Nice to see you're free again. How was the concentration camp?"
"Great! Breakfast in bed, a choice of coffee or chocolate, and for lunch we got soup, meat and dessert. And we played games in the afternoon before getting coffee and cakes. Then a little snooze and we watched movies after dinner."
The man was astonished: "That's great! I recently spoke to Meyer, who was also locked up there. He told me a different story."
The other man nods gravely and says: "Yes, well that's why they've picked him up again."

"My father is in the SA, my oldest brother in SS, my little brother in the HJ (Hitler Youth), my mother is part of the NS women's organisation, and I'm in the BDM (Nazi girls group)."
"Do you ever get to see each other," asks the girl's friend?
"Oh yes, we meet every year at the party rally in Nuremberg!"

"What does it mean when the sky is black? There are so many aircraft in the air that the birds have to walk."

The German army HQ receives news that Mussolini's Italy has joined the war.
"We'll have to put up 10 divisions to counter him!" says one general.
"No, he's on our side," says another.
"Oh, in that case we'll need 20 divisions."

"What will you do after the war?"
"I'll finally go on a holiday and will take a trip round Greater Germany!"
"And what will you do in the afternoon?"

And a little something about different kinds of German humour: http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1518,411790,00.html

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

Repeated absences and stealing.


:D :D :D

lol, that is one of my favourites.

Number one rule when dealing with Germans: Don't mention the war.

lol, that is one of my favourites.

Number one rule when dealing with Germans: Don't mention the war.

I personally like
Jesus is hanging on the cross and John approaches.

John says: "Jesus, its John. How may I serve thee ain thy time of need?"

Jesus replies: "YEEEAAAAAAAARGGHGGGHGGHGGGHGGHGGH!!!!!"

I personally like

Hehe. This is good too:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.

Which is why it wasn't funny until the reply came "but it would not be the same."

Yet it was meant to be funny on its own. And isn't. Hence the non-laughter.

No, still doesn't make any sense. I've never met a German without a sense of humour. Now, if that was about the Swiss or the English, it would make sense.

I take exception to that. We are *very* funny. Just last decade, I've heard a good joke! A German, an Englishman... wait, no... A German, an Irishm.. hmm... ah, crap...


Sorry, they're neither German nor funny.

In a thread about the lack of German humour, I guess that might be a hint that the stereotype isn't overly wrong :P