NationStates Jolt Archive

A 20 to 30 year old woman walked into a frat house, sat on a couch and began masturbating. Here's the weird part. The frat boys asked her to leave. Maybe she was fugly.

http://media.www.michigandaily.com/media/storage/paper851/news/2007/03/26/Crime/Masturbating.Trespasser.Booted.From.Frat-2791352.shtml

" Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident "

Damn lol..

When I was at uni, we used to have this crackwhore neighbour that would stumble into our parties and try to get one of us to screw her. We always just escorted the skank out.

" Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident "
You think they'd do the sensible thing and try selling them on eBay...

Could it be that the days of Animal House died with John Belushi?

I shudder at the thought.

" Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident "

Damn lol..

She musta been REALLY fugly. Like, pug fugly.

Two couches? TWO couches? I suppose they just wanna make sure all her nastyass fugliness is gone, even if she may have even not touched that second couch.

It was Ann Coulter. :eek:

maybe they murdered her. she is really cut up into tiny pieces and insde the two couches they are about to throw out. they call the cops to fabricate a tory and say she left.


or maybe she was really fat and took up two couches while she was doing the act.

It was Ann Coulter. :eek:

rofl!

ive never said this before but


YOU WIN THE THREAD!!

It was Ann Coulter. :eek:LOL!

i love the last sentence of the article



Police said the break-in appeared to be an isolated incident.


lol

really? it doesnt happen every day at the university of michigan?

What's going on in America's college fraternities?Sex, drugs and beer.

why?

It was Ann Coulter.now it makes sense.

At my old Catholic school we burned a person as a witch for masturbating.

*Nods head thinking of times when burning people was allowed*

Sounds like a prank?

She must have been damn ugly or maybe they made advances and she didnt comply.

Why else would teenage boy tell after getting a free show?

It was either really nasty to see or they were turned down.

It was Ann Coulter. :eek:Are you sure it was not Paris Hitlon and her scank friends.:confused:

Maybe it's a gay fraternity?

Who talks on their cellphone while masturbating?

When I was at uni, we used to have this crackwhore neighbour that would stumble into our parties and try to get one of us to screw her. We always just escorted the skank out.

On the end of your...

Yeah, anyway.

Who talks on their cellphone while masturbating?

I've done it. What? It can get boring sitting on hold with customer service.

Sounds like a prank?

She must have been damn ugly or maybe they made advances and she didnt comply.

Why else would teenage boy tell after getting a free show?

It was either really nasty to see or they were turned down.
Or there were worried about her turning around and charging them with something.

They let it go on for half an hour before calling the cops.

They let it go on for half an hour before calling the cops.

Ugh, I hate it when the batteries on my camcorder die.

It was Ann Coulter. :eek:

Well, she did graduate cum laude!

Sorry, that wasn't very punny.:(

I've done it. What? It can get boring sitting on hold with customer service.

So are you implying she went into the frat house, started going to town, then called customer service?

Who talks on their cellphone while masturbating?
*raises hand*

Especially if the person on the other end is the reason for it.

Also, who goes at it for a half hour?

So are you implying she went into the frat house, started going to town, then called customer service?

You're right. She was probably just keeping in touch with out of town family members.

postpickthx.

*raises hand*

Especially if the person on the other end is the reason for it.

There is that. I'm just getting the mental image of her having a regular conversation with one of her friends about the co-worker that was annoying her, her weekend plans, ect.

I'm going to stick with that mental image because it amuses me.

Also, who goes at it for a half hour?

Um. Too little time?

I think this falls into the catagory of: engaing in inappropriate self love.

On the end of your...

Yeah, anyway.

Um, no. We already had enough sketchy shite going on in the house. Didn't need a horny crackhead running about to boot. And we definitely didn't want her getting anywhere near the hot tub in the backyard. Ew. Just ew.

Or there were worried about her turning around and charging them with something.

They let it go on for half an hour before calling the cops.

Ah. That's why. That bitch tease wouldn't finish up - guys hate that. :p

Um. Too little time?

I like to take my time with others. With myself I like to get in and get out. Especially if I'm in public.

Ah. That's why. That bitch tease wouldn't finish up - guys hate that. :p

Or maybe she did, and she's a squirter, which would explain wanting to get rid of the couches. That's a LOT of fluid.

I like to take my time with others. With myself I like to get in and get out. Especially if I'm in public.

In public!? Ooooh.

Or maybe she did, and she's a squirter, which would explain wanting to get rid of the couches. That's a LOT of fluid.

I'm skeptical about the existence of 'squirting'. Seems too fake, and too easily faked to me.

I'm skeptical about the existence of 'squirting'. Seems too fake, and too easily faked to me.

Do you think people would be willing to get together funding for a study on this?

There is that. I'm just getting the mental image of her having a regular conversation with one of her friends about the co-worker that was annoying her, her weekend plans, ect.

I'm going to stick with that mental image because it amuses me.

Amuses, riiiiiight.

In public!? Ooooh.
When it's convenient. Or I'm bored. Never in front of strangers though. At least I don't think I have. Never intentional.


I'm skeptical about the existence of 'squirting'. Seems too fake, and too easily faked to me.
It most definately exists and it's not pee. I had someone ruin my matress once.

Amuses, riiiiiight.

Well, it's not some scientific study or political act. I think I can allow my brain some liberty here.

I'm skeptical about the existence of 'squirting'. Seems too fake, and too easily faked to me.

It's not fake. Trust me.

It's not fake. Trust me.

I'm sure he'd like proof.

Also, who goes at it for a half hour?

(Raises hand)

I have occasionally. Hurts like hell afterwards though.

I'm sure he'd like proof.

Then he needs to stimulate a woman capable of such a feat.

It's disturbingly impressive.

Then he needs to stimulate a woman capable of such a feat.

It's disturbingly impressive.

And extremely messy.

And extremely messy.

Two-couches-to-throw-away messy even...

Or there were worried about her turning around and charging them with something.

They let it go on for half an hour before calling the cops.

Yeah-there IS that too. I guess college boys are easy marks for an opportunist.
Look at the guys on the Duke lacrosse team. I still dont think the charges have been dropped against them. Meanwhile, their pictures and names have been on the TV constantly.

Don't worry Carn, when you manhandle me, and leave me crying in the shower, I'll send you a thank you card after, not a lawsuit.

Two-couches-to-throw-away messy even...

It'd be even scarier if the second couch were in another room.

Two-couches-to-throw-away messy even...

They should have invested in a squeege and perhaps....

a hose....

Also, who goes at it for a half hour?

I'd raise my hand here, but half an hour is way short for me.

Don't worry Carn, when you manhandle me, and leave me crying in the shower, I'll send you a thank you card after, not a lawsuit.

you'd have to know a bit more about me before you could file a meanigful suit against me.

then again,without a plaintiff,there is often no case.

It's not out of the realm of possibility.

On another floor then? :p

It'd be even scarier if the second couch were in another room.

It's not out of the realm of possibility.

Could it be that the days of Animal House died with John Belushi?

I shudder at the thought.

Most of today's fraternities don't live up to the Animal House stereotype. Not to say we don't do retarded and hilarious stuff. (We still do). I wish I could tell you guys some of my good stories.

It'd be even scarier if the second couch were in another room.

Have you ever been there for a "launch" ? Very surprising,if you arent expecting it.

you'd have to know a bit more about me before you could file a meanigful suit against me.

then again,without a plaintiff,there is often no case.

I don't want a meaningful suit, I want a meaningful mauling. I'd like to live to bear the bruises after though, thanks.

On another floor then? :p

Okay now THAT I've never seen. Maybe if she was laying on the stairs, head to the floor...?

I'd raise my hand here, but half an hour is way short for me.

Quckly and often for me. Otherwise, as Johnny points out, things start hurting. Plus I like being able to orgasm in under 5 minutes. Gives me plenty of time to have multiples with a partner.

I don't want a meaningful suit, I want a meaningful mauling. I'd like to live to bear the bruises after though, thanks.

You'd carry your marks proudly.

Okay now THAT I've never seen. Maybe if she was laying on the stairs, head to the floor...?

Either that or it ricochets around the house like a blaster shot in the Death Star's trash compactor. :D

You'd carry your marks proudly.

Then I'd have no complaints. Except for *ouch* *wince* *evil grin*

Either that or it ricochets around the house like a blaster shot in the Death Star's trash compactor. :D

That is the best visual I've had all day :D

These frat boys suck...:p

Either that or it ricochets around the house like a blaster shot in the Death Star's trash compactor. :D

my God...this really geeks it up too much...

That is the best visual I've had all day :D

my God...this really geeks it up too much...


I aim to please. ;)

So are you implying she went into the frat house, started going to town, then called customer service?

She called to complain that the couch wasnt making her horny.

my God...this really geeks it up too much...

And yet you get it. So what does THAT say?

And yet you get it. So what does THAT say?

Full point to Neesika.

And yet you get it. So what does THAT say?

That I saw Star Wars 25 years ago.


I feel an obligation to help Cluichistan along. Someone has to fill my role when I'm gone.
Obscure references to The Godfather or A Fist Full of Dollars are acceptable.

Star Wars-not as much.

Full point to Neesika.

Oh please- Affirmative action gives her 5 points for showing up with shoes on.



:p

Quckly and often for me. Otherwise, as Johnny points out, things start hurting. Plus I like being able to orgasm in under 5 minutes. Gives me plenty of time to have multiples with a partner.

I never experience pain unless I've already orgasmed at least once.

She called to complain that the couch wasnt making her horny.
Zeee!

I never experience pain unless I've already orgasmed at least once.
Maybe my naughy bits are too sensitive.

Most of today's fraternities don't live up to the Animal House stereotype. Not to say we don't do retarded and hilarious stuff. (We still do). I wish I could tell you guys some of my good stories.
Throwing things at the Democratic convention doesn't count as a good story.

Come on, when you´re doing it, either sex or masturbation, your mind just focus on it and you can do incredible stuff. Lol I´ve done some positions easily that made me cry in pain when I tried repeating them not doing it. :D

Zeee!


Maybe my naughy bits are too sensitive.


Maybe you ought to give them a rest?

Some are more delicate than others.

That I saw Star Wars 25 years ago.


I feel an obligation to help Cluichistan along. Someone has to fill my role when I'm gone.
Obscure references to The Godfather or A Fist Full of Dollars are acceptable.

Star Wars-not as much.

I think most movies as old as you are considered obscure on this forum, dear. Quoting them doesn't necessarily = coolness...and may rather indicate decrepitude.

That I saw Star Wars 25 years ago.


I feel an obligation to help Cluichistan along. Someone has to fill my role when I'm gone.
Obscure references to The Godfather or A Fist Full of Dollars are acceptable.

Star Wars-not as much.

Help me along? You're what, five years older than I am?

Oh, and I saw Star Wars 30 years ago. :p

A 20 to 30 year old woman walked into a frat house, sat on a couch and began masturbating. Here's the weird part. The frat boys asked her to leave. Maybe she was fugly.
And when has that ever stopped a frat boy in the past?

Oh the youth of today! How I weep for them.

Help me along? You're what, five years older than I am?

Oh, and I saw Star Wars 30 years ago. :p

When you were 3?

Oh yeah, you fuckers are all over the hill, I keep forgetting.

When you were 3?

Oh yeah, you fuckers are all over the hill, I keep forgetting.

I was four actually, which probably has a lot to do with my obsession with it. At that age, the film just blew my freakin' mind (not that it doesn't still ;) ).

I was four actually, which probably has a lot to do with my obsession with it. At that age, the film just blew my freakin' mind (not that it doesn't still ;) ).

Well it's still a fantastic movie, unlike his latest attempts.

But it's a toss up for me...which is better overall? Star Wars or The Godfather?

Al Pacino is the deciding factor I think. Mmmm, young Al Pacino.

But it's a toss up for me...which is better overall? Star Wars or The Godfather?

I go with the former. But then I live near Rhode Island, where anyone with an ounce of Italian blood thinks he's got mob ties and acts like a caricature of the characters in The Godfather (and the success of The Sopranos only made those morons worse). It's kinda ruined that movie for me.

I go with the former. But then I live near Rhode Island, where anyone with an ounce of Italian blood thinks he's got mob ties and acts like a caricature of the characters in The Godfather (and the success of The Sopranos only made those morons worse). It's kinda ruined that movie for me.

I stay away from second and third etc generation Italians for that reason. Buying feta in Little Italy, I heard this guy putting on the most pathetic Jersey Italian accent and taking himself so seriously ("a man with no honour is like a dog...like a dog without honour...like, a dumb dog"), I just couldn't keep a straight face.

No offence to you Italians out there who don't feel a need to act like a mobster.

I stay away from second and third etc generation Italians for that reason. Buying feta in Little Italy, I heard this guy putting on the most pathetic Jersey Italian accent and taking himself so seriously ("a man with no honour is like a dog...like a dog without honour...like, a dumb dog"), I just couldn't keep a straight face.

That's precisely the type I'm talking about. I'm third-gen Irish, but you don't see me talking with a brogue and falling off my barstool.

Okay, well, I do the latter once in a while. :p

I blame my drinking on my Irish heritage. That's about all it's good for :P

I think most movies as old as you are considered obscure on this forum, dear. Quoting them doesn't necessarily = coolness...and may rather indicate decrepitude.

decrepitude may be a factor. I am forgetting more than most people in here knew to begin with...

decrepitude may be a factor. I am forgetting more than most people in here knew to begin with...

Claiming decrepitude might get you some sponge baths though...

Help me along? You're what, five years older than I am?

Oh, and I saw Star Wars 30 years ago. :p

Yeah-only because I care,not in a condescening way. Dont lash out,grasshopper.


See-knowing when Star Wars came out is too geeky also.

See-knowing when Star Wars came out is too geeky also.
Geeks can be a lot of fun too, ya know, Mr. Cool :D Wanna see my Sci-Fi library?

I go with the former. But then I live near Rhode Island, where anyone with an ounce of Italian blood thinks he's got mob ties and acts like a caricature of the characters in The Godfather (and the success of The Sopranos only made those morons worse). It's kinda ruined that movie for me.

Try growing up in Brooklyn,NY. 30 years ago,everyone WAS somehow associated with someone. So everyone has an uncle or cuz that was into something and now they wear it like a badge.

Geeks can be a lot of fun too, ya know, Mr. Cool :D Wanna see my Sci-Fi library?

That depends on where you keep it.

Try growing up in Brooklyn,NY. 30 years ago,everyone WAS somehow associated with someone. So everyone has an uncle or cuz that was into something and now they wear it like a badge.

'Hardcore' by association. I hate that.

I stay away from second and third etc generation Italians for that reason. Buying feta in Little Italy, I heard this guy putting on the most pathetic Jersey Italian accent and taking himself so seriously ("a man with no honour is like a dog...like a dog without honour...like, a dumb dog"), I just couldn't keep a straight face.

No offence to you Italians out there who don't feel a need to act like a mobster.


The worst part is- he may not have been putting that on.

Dont mistakenly discount those people though-many of them are far more intelligent than you'd realize.
It is hard to look past the stereotypical crotch-groping sometimes, but dont underestimate them.

'Hardcore' by association. I hate that.

You have to look a little harder into it. Growing up in a neighborhood where everyone knows everyone,knows the people they do business with-the same butcher-the same baker, going to the same church,same schools. Its a small community with the same dreams and needs.
The "hardcore" you see sometimes comes with the lifestyle. Some are wiseguys. Some are completely legitimate and law-abiding. But they walk and talk the same.

Probably a very similar parallel to your tribe & people.

The worst part is- he may not have been putting that on. No, he really was. The accent kept slipping.

Dont mistakenly discount those people though-many of them are far more intelligent than you'd realize.
It is hard to look past the stereotypical crotch-groping sometimes, but dont underestimate them.Don't get me wrong here, I'm not judging someone based on their accent. I'm judging someone based on the clear fact that they were faking an accent to look cool. The Italian accent in these parts is very distinctive, and completely unlike the one he kept falling in and out of.

Don't forget where I come from...I am well aware that stereotypical macho behaviour and/or rough speech doesn't signal low intelligence. Some of the smartest people I grew up with looked at first glance like nothing more than criminals.

What I think is funny, is how second and third generation immigrants quite often develop a particular view of their heritage, becoming 'more greek than the greeks' in certain cases. It's prevalent in many communities, including my own (FN people who grew up in the suburbs suddenly becoming more traditional than our elders:rolleyes: ). This guy, I think, was basing his new identity less on a traditional Italian (from Italy) stereotype, and more on one portrayed in the US media. And it made me laugh. A lot.

No, he really was. The accent kept slipping.


Thats lame then. Mine never slips, except when I'm in polite company and I dont need any " O-A " ing to make myself clear.

Probably a very similar parallel to your tribe & people.

Yup. In a culture where a disproportionate number of us have been in jail...usually since they were teens, everyone can claim links to crime. And gangs are becoming a ubiquitous presence on the reserves and in the cities.

What I don't like are those people who like to brag, and claim to be involved in things that they aren't, and who use their relationships in the community just to puff themselves up. It's the height of asshattery.

Thats lame then. Mine never slips, except when I'm in polite company and I dont need any " O-A " ing to make myself clear.

Polite company. Right...where you have to stop using the F-word :D

Polite company. Right...where you have to stop using the F-word :D

Fuck polite fuckin' company. :p

Fuck in polite fuckin' company. :p

Fixed.

Fixed.

http://www.fiz6qed.org/phorum/smileys/rotfl.gif

Fuck polite fuckin' company. :p

Wow, this thread has really taken a, well, not unsuspecting turn. :)

Wow, this thread has really taken a, well, not unsuspecting turn. :)

It's all Neesika's fault. :p

It's all Neesika's fault. :p

Carn started it. *runs*

Carn started it. *runs*

We could just all agree to blame Ruffy... :D

It's all Neesika's fault. :p

Sure it is. :D