NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, I'm doing everything I can to avoid doing the grading I need to do today so here's my shoddy attempt at starting a horrible thread. What euphemism do you use to describe the action of farting? Or if you don't want to do that, then what do you call the farts themselves?

As a Star Trek geek, I have taken to saying that I'm venting plasma from my aft nacelle.







I'll just be over in the corner here. Feel free to throw things at me.

Bioweapons

I don't fart. Whenever I need to exhume myself, it merely makes a halo form around my head for a short moment.

It's a Chemical Weapon... worse than mustard and chlorine gas. ;)

Stinkbombs.

my farts are so silent... there's no need of informing the outside world of their existence...

Flatulence

dropping wolf-bait
letting one rip

Okay, I'm doing everything I can to avoid doing the grading I need to do today so here's my shoddy attempt at starting a horrible thread. What euphemism do you use to describe the action of farting? Or if you don't want to do that, then what do you call the farts themselves?

As a Star Trek geek, I have taken to saying that I'm venting plasma from my aft nacelle.




I'll just be over in the corner here. Feel free to throw things at me.


I wouldnt throw something at you,but if I had to hear you say that,I might have to let one rip in your face.

I wouldnt throw something at you,but if I had to hear you say that,I might have to let one rip in your face.

And I would probably deserve it. :D

[Whoever happens to be sitting near me] farts

And I would probably deserve it. :D

Unless you happened to be AT a trekkie convention when you said it-then I'd have to respect you air space.

The bigger problem would be- What the fuck would I be doing there?

Unless you happened to be AT a trekkie convention when you said it-then I'd have to respect you air space.

The bigger problem would be- What the fuck would I be doing there?

That is indeed the question--for both of us. Is my usage made any less egregious by the fact that I do it in the voice of Neil Goldman from Family Guy?

My euphemism for farting is "spraying Ruffy cologne." :p

I treat farts as if they are my family. I am very talented at farting extremly loudly and smelily. Then i get sent out of class and miss some of the lesson. Result.

That is indeed the question--for both of us. Is my usage made any less egregious by the fact that I do it in the voice of Neil Goldman from Family Guy?

That makes it so much more appropriate.

I like to use that voice when immitating a victim- Very similar,if not exactly the same to the "Jerky Boys" and their "Sol Rosenburg" character.

And the punitive damages he suffers.

I treat farts as if they are my family. I am very talented at farting extremly loudly and smelily. Then i get sent out of class and miss some of the lesson. Result.

Next time, try lighting one.

Next time, try lighting one.

We tried that in science it sorta worked.

I like to use that voice when immitating a victim- Very similar,if not exactly the same to the "Jerky Boys" and their "Sol Rosenburg" character.

And the punitive damages he suffers.

"Oh my gawd, these hemorrhoids are tearin' the ass outta me!"

As a Star Trek geek, I have taken to saying that I'm venting plasma from my aft nacelle.

I'd say we've hit an all-time low with this one, Nazz...but we all know that's not true.

My girls call them 'peos' (farts in Spanish), but also 'almas' (souls). That last part comes from a little saying, 'un peo es el alma de un poroto que se va al cielo'....a fart is the soul of a bean going up to heaven.

My five year old thinks farts are the funniest thing ever. I'm glad you share her humour :D

Someone else's farts.

I'd say we've hit an all-time low with this one, Nazz...but we all know that's not true.

My girls call them 'peos' (farts in Spanish), but also 'almas' (souls). That last part comes from a little saying, 'un peo es el alma de un poroto que se va al cielo'....a fart is the soul of a bean going up to heaven.

My five year old thinks farts are the funniest thing ever. I'm glad you share her humour :D

That is terrific--and I don't think I want to know the five year old who doesn't think farts are hysterically funny.

As a Star Trek geek, I have taken to saying that I'm venting plasma from my aft nacelle.

As airplane fan, I say that I've engaged my afterburner.

Or I say "hear, it thunders... I bet it's gonna rain."

My euphemism for farting is "spraying Ruffy cologne." :p

But my cologne smells good... :(

I call my farts Betty, Scott, John, Ashley, etc..





*sniffs*

Oh, hey! I think Betty just arrived!

Guff. What a great word.

Cutting wind.

I'd say we've hit an all-time low with this one, Nazz...but we all know that's not true.

My girls call them 'peos' (farts in Spanish), but also 'almas' (souls). That last part comes from a little saying, 'un peo es el alma de un poroto que se va al cielo'....a fart is the soul of a bean going up to heaven.

My five year old thinks farts are the funniest thing ever. I'm glad you share her humour :D

Of course they are funny. Its shit without the mess.

Anyone that doesnt laugh has problems.

Of course they are funny. Its shit without the mess.
I think the technical term for that is "farticles."

I'm old fashioned and dull. I just say, "I farted."

Or perhaps, "Excuse me, I have to let out a big stinky fart."

The real excitement and novelty comes with the sound and smell. Not the name.

I think the technical term for that is "farticles."

Technical term is it? :p

I'll just be over in the corner here. Feel free to throw things at me.

*flings poo*

Get on wi' yer work.

Hmmm euphamisms, favourites among those that I have heard are:

I just squashed a frog / duck.

I have a duck/frog in my trousers.

Floated an Air Biscuit - if anyone can explain that one please do.. I have never understood it.

Outgassings.

a bubble burst in the bog of eternal stench

Poo vapors.

a bubble burst in the bog of eternal stench

Nice reference. 2 points for you.

Okay, I'm doing everything I can to avoid doing the grading I need to do today so here's my shoddy attempt at starting a horrible thread. What euphemism do you use to describe the action of farting? Or if you don't want to do that, then what do you call the farts themselves?

As a Star Trek geek, I have taken to saying that I'm venting plasma from my aft nacelle.

I'll just be over in the corner here. Feel free to throw things at me.

(Throws Seven-Of-Nine at Nazz) :p

I just call them farts. Plain and simple.

a bubble burst in the bog of eternal stench

Labyrinth for the win!

Smelly things, which some people in enviromental suits collect to make weapons of mass destruction.

Oh and when my stomach or intestines gurgle I call it farting on the inside, or repositioning my poo vapors. I love having nephews and odd friends.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DlUY5kGktiU

I call my farts COUGHS! That clip is epic. >_>

The manifestation of my discontent.

Nice reference. 2 points for you.

ty ty

Labyrinth for the win!

A great movie for all ages!

Flatus Minor, of course.

Well actually no.

ty ty



A great movie for all ages!

Indeed! *applauds*


Oftentimes I will refer to it as "pulling a Rygel." My sister uses "blat!"

Indeed! *applauds*


Oftentimes I will refer to it as "pulling a Rygel." My sister uses "blat!"

Blat is perfect!

well i just farted and it smells bad. I call them bombs, fart, toots, puffs, flatuations, readend expulsions. Fart is the classic and i dont break tradition

I simply hold to the TRUTH & call them DISCUSTING !!

I simply hold to the TRUTH & call them DISGUSTING !!

Corrected ;)

[/GRAMMARNAZI]

EDIT: Wow, I just farted and my butt went a little numb. Thought you all wanted to know that.

Hmmm euphamisms, favourites among those that I have heard are:

I just squashed a frog / duck.

I have a duck/frog in my trousers.

Floated an Air Biscuit - if anyone can explain that one please do.. I have never understood it.

are you one of my roommates?

I go with "who just stepped on a duck?", although, air biscuit is a good one too.

One of the cuter terms I've heard is "bottie burp".

are you one of my roommates?

I go with "who just stepped on a duck?", although, air biscuit is a good one too.

My dad used to call it a mouse on a motorcycle when I was little. And he'd be like "it went over there" and we'd pretend to look for it.

Incidentally, when I was about eight I sent up a balloon with a card on it as a school project and it landed on another school in Tennessee, I think (from Chicago). They sent me a book about... you guessed it. So from then on whenever my dad would say it, I would tell the story and everyone would laugh about our silly private joke.

To this day, when I'm around my parents and anyone makes a noise that sounds like a fart, somebody goes "Eric once read a book about a mouse on a motorcycle."

Releasing of other people's intelligence if they fart.

For me, escaped gas.

The Nazz, I must say you suprise me with this thread.

Anyhow, I still have to get over the fact that I once heard it being referred to as 'Analhusten' in my native tongue German, which roughly translates to 'anal cough'.

Well, yes. Oh, and for some strange reason that I don't exactly want to know about, either, my dad usually says 'Oh, I seem to have stepped on a Stone of Thunder (Donnerstein)'. Umm.

If two people are in an elevator and one of them farts they both know who did it. (2 points for the source)

And in other news...

"Oh, toothless one, your voice has changed but your breath is still the same."

I like to think of farts as early warning systems.

I'd say we've hit an all-time low with this one, Nazz...but we all know that's not true.

My girls call them 'peos' (farts in Spanish), but also 'almas' (souls). That last part comes from a little saying, 'un peo es el alma de un poroto que se va al cielo'....a fart is the soul of a bean going up to heaven.

My five year old thinks farts are the funniest thing ever. I'm glad you share her humour :D

How about 'reza por tu alma porque tu cuerpo ya esta podrido"?

Pray for your soul because your body is already rotten

The Nazz, I must say you suprise me with this thread.
Hey, I'm not all politics and seriousness. :D

guff and botty-burp mostly :)

i like the star trek one though :P

Silent but deadly.

generally "omg-that-is-fucking-foul", or "hmm, eggy" or something similar.

I generally just call them farts, but other words get bandied about I guess. I work in a very male dominated industry, and it's not so much about what to call the farts, but how to strategically make your fellow co-workers victims of your fart.

For instance, If someone is loading a truck (preferably sitting or standing on a ladder, so it's hard for them to run right away), you let one go silently. Seeing people run out of a trailer is usually a universal sign. The poor bastard sitting on the ladder isn't usually so lucky. Same thing goes with working in a small office with closed doors.

We have a dispatcher that likes to come in to the warehouse to let them go, that way he isn't making a scene in the dispatch area. He'd get a lot of flak for it from the warehouse folks. The warehouse folks soon started returning the favour. Poor desk-bound dispatchers, obliviously going about their work, chatting with customers or drivers on the phone when suddenly some overweight forklift driver who eats primarily whistle-dogs from the vending machine let's one go right in dispatch.

It's all fun and games until someone dies of asphyxiation.

(See Nees? Farts are for grown-ups too... well, I use 'grown-ups' very loosely...)

What euphemism do you use to describe the action of farting?

Most often, I say someone's ripping ass. Or, (s)he blew one off. I rarely say "You farted" or anything like that; always some weird saying.

Or if you don't want to do that, then what do you call the farts themselves?

Usually, I just shout "Damn!" and get the hell out of Dodge.

I just use the classic "I tooted" most of the time..

When my son was 3 he farted and told me he had "thunder" coming out of his butt. I use that line once in a while.

I call it "letting some steam out", "exhaling loudly" and "an icebreaker".

Hey, I'm not all politics and seriousness. :D

Don't worry, my perception of you isn't all that limited - I'm very well aware that you're also all about professor magick, being the Times' Person of the Year, The Antiques Road Show, and dancing elves..

Clearly as a laydee I don't pass wind, or use the toilet at all....

But in our house we do call them love puffs, or burble butts, or bottom burps.

Or occasionally 'WTF is that god awful stench? Did you drop one again?'

Either:

Passing gas.
Foreboding of the atomic bomb.
German gas.
Air raid!
What a glorious smell!
Releasing toxics.

That's all from the top of my head of what I call my farts, jokingly.

Take that, underwear!!

Clearly as a laydee I don't pass wind, or use the toilet at all....

But in our house we do call them love puffs, or burble butts, or bottom burps.

Or occasionally 'WTF is that god awful stench? Did you drop one again?'
Love puffs?:confused:

Bilabial Fricative...

Gas...

Not mine...

SBD...

Bob...

Bio gas, implying it could be used to produce eco-friendly energy.

Colon Cologne

Anal Acoustics

Start the Engine

Brown Mist

Atmosphere of Uranus

Stinking Out Loud

A Fumatory Exploration of My Colon

Anal Halitosis

Oh, I forgot playing the butt trumpet.

Oh, I forgot playing the butt trumpet.

Dante did that in Canto 21 of The Divine Comedy. You're in good company. :D

I refer to mine as "wisdom from the master"

I refer to mine as "wisdom from the master"

Quality.

You know the air isn't too clean in this thread.

*puts on gas mask*