NationStates Jolt Archive

There is a child insult.

Now time for the grown up version.

Points for good ones and with creativety.
Bonus points for creative, good and clean ones.

desu desu desu desu desu

desu desu desu desu desu

NO U!

He/[insert name] has all the vitrues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I'm a fan of the "fucking tool" insult.

desu desu desu desu desu

MrMopar, gb2b.

desu desu desu desu desu

At the risk of exposing my ignorance, WTF is desu ?

MrMopar, gb2b.

And since my ignorance is already exposed, could someone explain this as well ?

At the risk of exposing my ignorance, WTF is desu ?

It means cute in Japenese. To find it's true history as a phrase in internet subculture you would have to go on a long, confusing, and ill advised journey. All you need to know is you don't need to know.

And for the second part, I'll break it down for you. G= Go. b= back. 2= to. b= [the first rule of {fightclub} is don't talk about {fight club}]

"You, sir, make the average man feel less so."

And lets have a serious answer, shall we?

Douchebag is the only insult worth using, and you all know that. Dickhead? Fail. Asshole? Overused. Jackass? Theres a fucking movie about it, who cares? Tool? Well, it'd be pretty cool if I didn't think of Tool as being, like, tools. Fucktard? Eh, too much risk of offending someone (lol).

It means cute in Japenese. To find it's true history as a phrase in internet subculture you would have to go on a long, confusing, and ill advised journey. All you need to know is you don't need to know.

And for the second part, I'll break it down for you. G= Go. b= back. 2= to. b= [the first rule of {fightclub} is don't talk about {fight club}]

You know...I think I'm sorry I asked, as I'm probably more confused now than before.

But thanks. :)

It means cute in Japenese.
Uh... no it doesn't. Kawaii (かわいい) means cute. Desu is a Japanese grammar copula that falls at the end of sentences and translates out into is/are.

Any case, I prefer baka as my standard insult but I have used either Twain (I never get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man) or "Being so far down the evolutionary and intellectual lader must give you a wonderful, if unreachable, goal in life, doesn't it?"

freller!

Ever had the taste of a sweaty sock in your mouth?

No, why?

Cause it seems you are stuttering when you speak due to the fact you keep putting your foot in your mouth.

your mom goes to college

Your all a bunch of left arm custard chuckers!

You are a bulging pimple on the face of humanity.

freller!

whats the yotz are you talking about you drannit, why i ought to boot you in the Mivonks!

Trick question. Good insults are always context-sensitive.

I've always liked "He/She should be in the ground, encouraging the grass."

~ Romandeos.

I don't know which group of people is bigger: the population of China or the number of men your mom slept with last night.

Does that make you look fat? Please. You make Fat Albert look anarexic. You are required by law to take the truck route. You have enough boyancy to walk on the water like Jesus.

In response to the sarcastic, "Nice comeback."

"If I wanted my cum back I'd wipe it off your mom's/sister's/girlfriend's face.

My favorite always has been

You so ugly, that when you were little, your momma had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

Here is another one.

You look different.

Oh really?

Yeah almost didn't recognize you.

Victim smiles "Oh really?"

Yeah I think it is because you are standing up.
Usually when I see you, you are bent over, while holding your ankles

Eat shit & die.

"I did not go to the funeral, but I sent a very nice letter saying I approved of it."

There is a child insult.

Now time for the grown up version.

Points for good ones and with creativety.
Bonus points for creative, good and clean ones.

Piss off, muthafucka!

I'm more man that you'll ever be, and more woman than you'll ever have.

This coming from someone that's queerer than a $3 bill.

When he sleeps with his wife, he puts a paper bag over his head in case hers falls off.

another one:
His childhood bath toys should have been a hair dryer and a toaster.

One last one:
They put her baby pictures on pro-abortian posters.

Die in a fire.

You can't match my witty repartee.

And everything else from Monkey Island :D

wow, this thread is like a flame-deathmatch.

Were you made with weak sperm. Did your dad jack off and your mom sat on it at the last second?

"[insert name] shines out like a shaft of gold when all about is dark"

The best insults target whatever your enemy is most sensitive about.

If it causes them to erupt in a violent rage, it was a good insult.
If it causes them to break into tears and flee, it was a brilliant insult.

"Go eat glass"
"Can I wee in your ear?"
"Your mom's so stupid that she voted for Bush/Kerry/Nader"
"People like you make it hard for me to quit smoking"
"C'mon Turing/Gödel figure it out." (When someone is being dense)

More as I think of them

"If I wanted my cum back I'd wipe it off your mom's/sister's/girlfriend's face.especially if you say it EXACTLY like that. Mom-sister-girlfriend...

A few gems

"You couldn't find your ass if your head was shoved up it!"
" You are as useless as a tit on a bulls ass"
"if you were any dumber, your head would collapse"
"I had no clue they stacked crap that high"
"I'd slap you,but crap splatters"
"Shut up already, your wasting valuable oxygen"
"F**k you AND the white pony you rode in on!"
"If stupidity was painful you'd be in agony."
"Were you born stupid or did your parents use you as a basketball?"

Asspanther.

Other than that, it depends on the situation.

Du dummes Arschloch!

Could you repeat that? Sorry, I'm not used to communicating with lower lifeforms...

If you'd eat a fly there would be more brains in your stomach than in your head.

[after a silly comment]
That's exactly what your mother told me last night, only she charged me for it.

*Hey, you shoud go to college.
-Really?
*Yeah, I hear they are quite interested in organisms without any brainactivity.

Mentaal labiele omhooggevallen hersenstamloze rotte eierdooier!

I've always been fond of "Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life."

He/[insert name] has all the vitrues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

*steals*

oh, and I have to steal one from my kid because it was just so brilliant.

"can I ask you a personal question?"
"sure"
"how does it feel to be so stupid?"

You've only got one joke, and it's you.

pillock.

I use a lot of the typical: dipshit, cretin, imbecile.

But sometimes, if the need arises, I will lock eyes with the offending person and tell him with awe in my voice, "It must be such freedom to be completely unencumbered by the process of thought!"

"Go eat Budd Dwyer's lunch."

You've got a good face for radio

Winston Churchill, in response to Bessie Braddock who told him he was drunk.
"And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning."

"Asspanther" Hahahhahahahaaaaaa ! I love it !
I was going to say " Asshat" but I'm loving the panther :p

I agree that " Douchebag" is the best.

I also like :

" I taught your boyfriend that thing you like." It get's this response -->:eek:

The best part of you dripped down your mother's leg....

Were you conceived with weak sperm? Seriously, did you mom sit on your dad as he was jackin' off?


(Bless you Bill Hicks)

Uh... no it doesn't. Kawaii (かわいい) means cute. Desu is a Japanese grammar copula that falls at the end of sentences and translates out into is/are.


Oops. Whatever, the point is what it's become, which I haven't explained, at all. Nor do I plan too.

I'm quite partial to 'Shut the fuck up', after further review. Short, simple, to the point.

You must be the poster child for the unfortunate results of inbreeding.

And... the set up must be just so for this-
First person to hapless victim: There is no excuse for you!
Your input at the cost of hapless victim: Sure there is. His dad's condom broke.

Ba-da-bum.

With my dick in your mouth!


In my first play I had a character say that to another one in triumph towards the end. An elderly couple got up and walked out on opening night.

Clean: We've all got a right to be stupid, but you do abuse it so.

Less clean: You look like abortion. :lol:

Your mom's like a brick: dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by mexicans.

I'd compare your chances of getting laid to a snowball's chance in hell, but I'd rather be fair to the snowball.

It's people like you that let Paris Hilton have self-esteem.

Man, with your face, I envy you. You're the only person who doesn't have to look at you when you're around.

You are proof there is no intelligent designer.

"whoreson"

I usually like to go into a rant where I bring up things that I know about the person that I could degrade them with.

I agree that " Douchebag" is the best.I only just found out what a douchebag was the other day. I would never have guessed that such things existed... and of course it would have to be the French who thought up such a device (aside from the name giving it away).

"I hope your mother dies in a freak yachting accident."

To be fair, I love pretty much all the insuts from Blackadder.

Your face is proof enough that God is real. Nothing as ugly as you could ever have happened at random.

You have the face of a person who makes out with a blender.

In the before and after pictures, yo're the during.

I'd hang your picture in prison, but the constitution doesn't allow cruel and unusual punishment.

i always like "unfuck yourself" and I like to use clown as a verb (i.e. you're clownin') but I don't think either of those are really creative.

'You're so ugly when you were born the doctor slapped your mother!'

And lets have a serious answer, shall we?

Douchebag is the only insult worth using, and you all know that. Dickhead? Fail. Asshole? Overused. Jackass? Theres a fucking movie about it, who cares? Tool? Well, it'd be pretty cool if I didn't think of Tool as being, like, tools. Fucktard? Eh, too much risk of offending someone (lol).

"Cheesedick" 's in the same league.

if this is about something "seved cold" to provoke a violent reaction:

"your parents were brothers"

if it isn't, well one man's insult is another man's compliment. which brings us back to the 'child's' game. does using words or implications SOME segments of SOME societies prefer not to hear from "the mounts of babe's" make ANYTHING "adult"?

i think, to me, it's just a teeneey bit oxymoronic to claim/assume that it does.

=^^=
.../\...

some literal translations from Flemish referring to someone's physionomy:

een smoel om leer op te kloppen / a face to beat leather on
een smoel om jonge honden op te leren bassen / a face to teach young dogs how to bark on
een smoel om stront op te sorteren / a face to sort shit on

ga met zo'n bakkes voor een kelderrraam zitten en er komt geen enkele kater nog zeiken / go sit at a basement window with a face like that and there won't be a tomcat left pissing there anymore

If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?
I thought I flushed you already.
You're so fat, you have to wear a sign that says 'This End Up'.
What are you compensating for?
You wear an eyepatch as a jockstrap.

I've seen thinner contestants on The Biggest Loser.
I found smarter things floating in a toilet.
I flush things smarter than you.
I flush things better looking than you down the toilet.
I've heard nicer voices come out of peoples' asses.

Tool and Manbitch. *nods head*

Please make yourself scarce.


From the Dilbert webside performance appraisal generator:

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. F1 Insanity:
No one has caught him sleeping on the job. A reevaluation of his assignments may be in order. Moreover, his work sets Mr. F1 Insanity apart from his peers. His full capabilities have only been recently discovered and he has left his mark on the division. He sets a compelling example for the younger employees and many wonder at the extent of his knowledge.

* In Strict Confidence *

read carefully, is it positive or not?

Two personal favourites are;

badly performed abortion

and

overgrown tuma

"You are a self-centered toff with no social conscience."

I'm planning to use it on the next person to insult my political view.

"You are a self-centered toff with no social conscience."

I'm planning to use it on the next person to insult my political view.


Heh. I qualify for the self-centred and no social conscience, and does it concern me in the slightest?;)

You are made of phail.