NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, so I've been with Kay for a three months now, and I think that it's nearing to the end. It really started about two weeks ago when she came in contact with her long lost friend Mike. Now I admit that I was jealous, but it seemed like she was interested in him, by saying that she has feelings for him, and saying that she wish she could show him what a good girlfriend is susspose to be like, but she can't (because she's with me). I broke up with her, but only for awhile because she explained that she meant all of that in a platonic way, so I believe her. There was also the case of her trying to kill herself and cutting herself when I did break up with her, so that did play a factor. For awhile things were good, but today I've learned that she and a 'friend' of mine have been telling people that I've been saying stuff about them that I never said. Now I haven't talked to them about it yet, but I do plan to. She also tends to be a bit possessive, and while she never admits it, I think she does get jealous that I have female friends myself, and I don't know how far she'll carry this possessive attitude, but I really don't want to find out. Anyways, I'm just sitting here wondering if all of this is worth it. I mean she says that she loves me and care about me, but I just wonder if it's really true or what. I really do want to give this relationship an honest try, and I guess that's why I'm thinking about it so much right now, and asking other people if it's worth it. So what do you guys think?

Sounds like you have given it a honest try and need to move on.

Another forum I post on sometimes has an animated smiley where this green smileyface puffs his cheeks up and then turns and projectile vomits.

http://www.cbs.com/daytime/yr/

http://www.soapcentral.com/soapcentral/index.php

http://www.nbc.com/Days_of_our_Lives/

http://abc.go.com/daytime/generalhospital/index.html

http://www.cbs.com/daytime/bb/

And you owe me a finder's fee for this one ----> http://www.blogger.com/start

Are you intent on taking the advice you gave Chandelier, only replacing the gun with the mods?

Jolt has a spam forum where threads like this oftentimes get moved.

Another forum I post on sometimes has an animated smiley where this green smileyface puffs his cheeks up and then turns and projectile vomits.

http://www.cbs.com/daytime/yr/

http://www.soapcentral.com/soapcentral/index.php

http://www.nbc.com/Days_of_our_Lives/

http://abc.go.com/daytime/generalhospital/index.html

http://www.cbs.com/daytime/bb/

And you owe me a finder's fee for this one ----> http://www.blogger.com/start

Are you intent on taking the advice you gave Chandelier, only replacing the gun with the mods?

So what do you guys think?Run like hell, she sounds like a manipulative nutcase.

Fergi America;12443925']Run like hell, she sounds like a manipulative nutcase.


Makes for great crazy sex.:D

And it has mods who oftentimes delete people like you. And that's enough of this threadjack.



He is just trying to get attention, the more you respond to him the more he will do it. Ignore him and he will stop.

Jolt has a spam forum where threads like this oftentimes get moved.

And it has mods who oftentimes delete people like you. And that's enough of this threadjack.

Ok, so I've been with Kay for a three months now, and I think that it's nearing to the end. It really started about two weeks ago when she came in contact with her long lost friend Mike. Now I admit that I was jealous, but it seemed like she was interested in him, by saying that she has feelings for him, and saying that she wish she could show him what a good girlfriend is susspose to be like, but she can't (because she's with me). I broke up with her, but only for awhile because she explained that she meant all of that in a platonic way, so I believe her. There was also the case of her trying to kill herself and cutting herself when I did break up with her, so that did play a factor. For awhile things were good, but today I've learned that she and a 'friend' of mine have been telling people that I've been saying stuff about them that I never said. Now I haven't talked to them about it yet, but I do plan to. She also tends to be a bit possessive, and while she never admits it, I think she does get jealous that I have female friends myself, and I don't know how far she'll carry this possessive attitude, but I really don't want to find out. Anyways, I'm just sitting here wondering if all of this is worth it. I mean she says that she loves me and care about me, but I just wonder if it's really true or what. I really do want to give this relationship an honest try, and I guess that's why I'm thinking about it so much right now, and asking other people if it's worth it. So what do you guys think?

Sounds like an ex-girlfriend of mine. Run like hell.

Makes for great crazy sex.:D
Sex isn't the main reason to have a relationship...

best thing to do is get drunk and find some skank to get busy with.

Wilgrove...she's your version of my worst girlfriend RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE! Trust me, you don't mess with people like this...I know this was your first real relationship in a very long time, but you will find someone better. For now, just run!

Run. Run fast. Very, very, very fast.

next thing you know she have the cops on you with some made up story

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

Get the hell out of her life... she sounds like a crazy ass girlfriend of mine... And I nearly went under by the depression she got me into. So stay away and find someone who treats you good.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

That is so damn sick of her to do, again, just like my ex aswell. A week after I dumped her she sent me pictures of her arm with IV's in 'em, explaining how she barely survived her suecide attempt, which she, of course, was doing because I treated her badly... :rolleyes:
Call her friends and tell them your plans so they can go to her. Then call her up and just say its over. Disconnect all your phones, block her on all IMs and just make sure she can't get in contact with you. Don't talk to her for atleast a week, possibly two or never. And lastly, she IS responsible for her own life and she has NO right to claim you as a source for acting like a bitch. End it, man. Fast.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.Manipulate her into dumping you?

Manipulate her into dumping you?

Might not work very well... she sounds like a OCD type of chick and it might just sway back and forth untill you go crazy along with her. Clean cut and damagecontrol is what I would suggest. Ain't easy, but it beats the alternatives.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

Forget about her. I have a conscience too, but in this case just break it off. Trust me, it's better this way. Ignore her friends and just break it off directly. If you don't, it'll just get worse.

Forget about her. I have a conscience too, but in this case just break it off. Trust me, it's better this way. Ignore her friends and just break it off directly. If you don't, it'll just get worse.

Well said.

Stab her in the kidney!

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

Don't worry about her.

Just dump her. Go ahead. Her life is her own, and if she tries to kill herself in this situation then she's probably an attention whore.

Stab her in the kidney!But which one?!

Manipulate her into dumping you?

I like this idea. Or, you could tell her you're gay.

In all seriousness, you can't stay with someone simply because you're frightened of what they'll do to themselves. If she's that unstable then it's unlikely that staying with you will hold her back from doing things for long anyway; it's just a question of when, not if.

If, however, you are committed to her, and believe that there might be something between the two of you that you want to keep, then you'll have to stick with it. Be honest with her about how you feel; it's much better to get things out in the open. Feeling bad about being told something is nothing compared to the worry and paranoia of guessing all the time. And, more than anything, make sure she gets (or stays with) professional help.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

People who REALLY intend to kill themselves do not call friends just before they call the cops, they do not slit their wrists while their parents are downstairs. They make sure they have plenty of time and that they won't be stopped.

People who do call friends and family with a goodbye are almost always crying out for help rather than intending on killing themselves. Or in this case blackmailing someone.

Out of all the things you list the threat of suicide stuck out like a giant red flag. The rest are bad, but this is just wrong. You should not be in a relationship with someone because you feel guilty. And someone who threatens to kill themselves if you leave them has no respect for you and a fucked up view of what a relationship is. She also sounds dangeruos to you.

My advice is to break it off with her. I seriously doubt she will go through with her threats.

disclaimer: If she does then it is not my responsibility. Nor is it yours.

Well, kinda similar thing with me... not QUITE as crazy, and the original dumping was for very different reasons, mostly mine, but there is some hope left. After a few days I realised I couldn't live without her, so I called her back and we worked it out. Of course, I got punished bad, and for a few days I thought I'd made the wrong decision... but even though we have mutual friends who all decided to stab me (one literally... only with a pen, but still) when I did it, and I KNEW it would send her down, back to her depressed days, I did it because I had to. I just hope it works out as well for you as it seems to have for me... Then again, she sounds a whole new level of crazy to mine.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

How old is she?
'Cos unless she's 14 (and, from memory, I'm pretty certain she's not) I'd say she was just being manipulative. The chances of her killing herself over it are very low. And hey, if she does it a) is nobody's fault but her own, and b) means she'll not pester you any more.

No need to be cruel about it, of course, but if you don't want to be with her any more you can't let her force you in to it. Taking herself hostage isn't really a good basis for a relationship.

Oh, and if you're still having sex, be careful. Very careful. Nothing like a little "accidental" pregnancy to prolong a relationship or, failing that, wreak untold havoc, is there?

Ok, so I've been with Kay for a three months now, and I think that it's nearing to the end. It really started about two weeks ago when she came in contact with her long lost friend Mike. Now I admit that I was jealous, but it seemed like she was interested in him, by saying that she has feelings for him, and saying that she wish she could show him what a good girlfriend is susspose to be like, but she can't (because she's with me). I broke up with her, but only for awhile because she explained that she meant all of that in a platonic way, so I believe her. There was also the case of her trying to kill herself and cutting herself when I did break up with her, so that did play a factor. For awhile things were good, but today I've learned that she and a 'friend' of mine have been telling people that I've been saying stuff about them that I never said. Now I haven't talked to them about it yet, but I do plan to. She also tends to be a bit possessive, and while she never admits it, I think she does get jealous that I have female friends myself, and I don't know how far she'll carry this possessive attitude, but I really don't want to find out. Anyways, I'm just sitting here wondering if all of this is worth it. I mean she says that she loves me and care about me, but I just wonder if it's really true or what. I really do want to give this relationship an honest try, and I guess that's why I'm thinking about it so much right now, and asking other people if it's worth it. So what do you guys think?


After some thought, I have come to this conclusion: to hell with her. It is not worth giving up your freedom and time to a girl that may leave you for someone else. For all you know, she could be lying about her feelings for this jerk being platonic as a way of keeping you around until she's made up her mind on which one she wants. As for her saying that she loves you, thats absolute garbage. She doesn't even know what love is, let alone commitment. That suicidal crap is just a way of keeping you under her thumb. You did say that she was possessive, right?

Spreading those lies about you to other people should be a clear sign that she doesn't love you. I mean, what kind of person would make their 'beloved' out to be some heartless jerk in the eyes of other people?

If you stick around that girl, you're only selling yourself short and setting yourself up for the eventual heartbreak. It will only hurt more if you decide to risk staying with her. Because she will leave you for that other guy if she thinks about it long enough, and it seems to me that within a week or two, she'll be all over this guy in the same way she was with you. It's simply not worth giving up your freedom and hurting yourself by sticking around with this girl.

It is admirable that you want to let her down easy, but she's definitely not making it easy for you. Tugging on your heart strings with threats of suicide. Its absolute garbage, man, down her like a ton of bricks. You can do so much better if you choose.

Sounds like you have given it a honest try and need to move on.

Give her one last good grudge fuck, and declare it over.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself?

I would have told her to do it honestly.

What right does she have to keep you pinned down in a unhappy relationship? The 'killing herself' is a bluff and pisses me off to no end.

As my friend once said: "Dump her fucking brains out :p"

Sounds like an ex-girlfriend of mine. Run like hell.


Oh, and if you're still having sex, be careful. Very careful. Nothing like a little "accidental" pregnancy to prolong a relationship or, failing that, wreak untold havoc, is there?

Hoo boy, that sounds familiar!

My advice is to run like hell, and don't look back.

How old is she?
'Cos unless she's 14 (and, from memory, I'm pretty certain she's not) I'd say she was just being manipulative. The chances of her killing herself over it are very low. And hey, if she does it a) is nobody's fault but her own, and b) means she'll not pester you any more.

I'm pretty sure Wilgrove is forty-five or close to it, so this Kate is most likely similiar in age to him.

I'm pretty sure Wilgrove is forty-five or close to it, so this Kate is most likely similiar in age to him.

Oh, I thought he was in his 20s. Either way, she should be old enough to know better.

Dear Kay,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride has cost me a lot of things.

I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says "There's no one like you, Kay." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect
body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Kay? I doubt it. And I've never really thought of that before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'm tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, Shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Kay, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Kay ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Kay, she really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you. It's true, Kay. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know.

Otherwise, can you let me know where the fucking remote is.

Love, Wilgrove

Ok, so I've been with Kay for a three months now, and I think that it's nearing to the end. It really started about two weeks ago when she came in contact with her long lost friend Mike. Now I admit that I was jealous, but it seemed like she was interested in him, by saying that she has feelings for him, and saying that she wish she could show him what a good girlfriend is susspose to be like, but she can't (because she's with me). I broke up with her, but only for awhile because she explained that she meant all of that in a platonic way, so I believe her. There was also the case of her trying to kill herself and cutting herself when I did break up with her, so that did play a factor. For awhile things were good, but today I've learned that she and a 'friend' of mine have been telling people that I've been saying stuff about them that I never said. Now I haven't talked to them about it yet, but I do plan to. She also tends to be a bit possessive, and while she never admits it, I think she does get jealous that I have female friends myself, and I don't know how far she'll carry this possessive attitude, but I really don't want to find out. Anyways, I'm just sitting here wondering if all of this is worth it. I mean she says that she loves me and care about me, but I just wonder if it's really true or what. I really do want to give this relationship an honest try, and I guess that's why I'm thinking about it so much right now, and asking other people if it's worth it. So what do you guys think?

I'd help, but I don't know. I really don't know.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.
Not wanting to sound hardh, but fuck your conscience.

you need to realise that you are not responsible for someone else's actions. You're not putting the knife in her hands and dragging it across her wrists.
It's only she who's doing that, not you. She's that one who responsible for her own behaviour.
Got that?

I'm pretty sure Wilgrove is forty-five or close to it, so this Kate is most likely similiar in age to him.
WHAAAAA?
Oh, I thought he was in his 20s.
Um, yeah...

Dear Kay,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

...

Love, Wilgrove

OMFG best... post... ever

wilgrove, are you sure you want to break up with her?

if you are done with this relationship, its fine to move on. this is what dating is for, to figure out what you want and whether or not this person is it.


but if you arent done, dont break up with her because you think she is going to leave you for someone else. talk to her. be frank. give her permission to tell you the truth even if it hurts your feelings. that what you know for sure that she is done with you. if she is. which she may not be. you cant know for sure until you actually talk to her.

Ok, so how the hell do you break up with someone who threatens to kill herself or cuts herself? I mean the last time we broke up, I ended up calling her and talking her out of it because well A. I have a damn conscious and B. I don't want anyone killing themselves because of me, I'm not worth it. That and the last time her friend really let me have it.

You break up with her and when she threatens suicide you call the nice men in white coats who will probably take her into the psych ward of your local hospital for a three day observation.

Dump her. She sounds like a borderline bitch.

Just dump her, the sadness will last two weaks at max.

Dear Kay,
She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect
body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that just wouldn't quit. *snip*
Ahahahah - I'm 17, and I spent my childhood iceskating competitively. And I have great tits. Score.

Not wanting to sound hardh, but fuck your conscience.

you need to realise that you are not responsible for someone else's actions. You're not putting the knife in her hands and dragging it across her wrists.
It's only she who's doing that, not you. She's that one who responsible for her own behaviour.
Got that?

Of course he's not directly responsible for her behaviour, but if he purposely acts in a manner that will cause her to harm herself, that is acting irresponsibly.

If you don't love her, don't stay with her, but there's no need to "dump" her in harsh manner.

Dump her. She sounds like a borderline bitch.

Just dump her, the sadness will last two weaks at max.

I have boderline personality disorder. Am I a "boderline bitch", just because I've battled with the same things this woman has? Is she a bad person becuase she struggles everday with notions of self-harm? If you had any understanding of psychiatric illness, you wouldn't approach it in this inhumane manner.... Asshole.

Ahahahah - I'm 17, and I spent my childhood iceskating competitively. And I have great tits. Score.


The problem being, you're 17.

Ok, so I've been with Kay for a three months now, and I think that it's nearing to the end. It really started about two weeks ago when she came in contact with her long lost friend Mike. Now I admit that I was jealous, but it seemed like she was interested in him, by saying that she has feelings for him, and saying that she wish she could show him what a good girlfriend is susspose to be like, but she can't (because she's with me). I broke up with her, but only for awhile because she explained that she meant all of that in a platonic way, so I believe her. There was also the case of her trying to kill herself and cutting herself when I did break up with her, so that did play a factor. For awhile things were good, but today I've learned that she and a 'friend' of mine have been telling people that I've been saying stuff about them that I never said. Now I haven't talked to them about it yet, but I do plan to. She also tends to be a bit possessive, and while she never admits it, I think she does get jealous that I have female friends myself, and I don't know how far she'll carry this possessive attitude, but I really don't want to find out. Anyways, I'm just sitting here wondering if all of this is worth it. I mean she says that she loves me and care about me, but I just wonder if it's really true or what. I really do want to give this relationship an honest try, and I guess that's why I'm thinking about it so much right now, and asking other people if it's worth it. So what do you guys think?

She's screwing with you, its not worth it, break up with her. And make sure she or anyone els can screw you over again.

The problem being, you're 17.

Not for me! :p

Not for me! :p

No, your problem is that I'm taken!

The problem being, you're 17.

Depends on the state.

Depends on the state.

And your sense of morality, given DK's age.

No, your problem is that I'm taken!

Damn.

And your sense of morality, given DK's age.

Well, I obviously didn't mean for him, I meant for me.

Which, I suppose, still depends on one's morality...

I suggest you break uo with her. You're better than her.

I suggest you break uo with her. You're better than her.You're willing to judge that based on only his side of the story? :p

@Wilgrove:
The talking about sounds like trouble, but it could be that the message got garbled along the way, just like in a game of Chinese Whispers. In the end, if you don't think it's working out, and it doesn't look like it will start working later on, you should end it. The only reason you really need to end a relationship is "It isn't going to work."

My general response would be the same as most people. Run like hell.

This reminds me of a story I read on Something Awful a while back:

Why you should avoid possessive goth chicks. (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/dumbass-of-love.php)

Ok, so I've been with Kay for a three months now, and I think that it's nearing to the end. It really started about two weeks ago when she came in contact with her long lost friend Mike. Now I admit that I was jealous, but it seemed like she was interested in him, by saying that she has feelings for him, and saying that she wish she could show him what a good girlfriend is susspose to be like, but she can't (because she's with me). I broke up with her, but only for awhile because she explained that she meant all of that in a platonic way, so I believe her. There was also the case of her trying to kill herself and cutting herself when I did break up with her, so that did play a factor. For awhile things were good, but today I've learned that she and a 'friend' of mine have been telling people that I've been saying stuff about them that I never said. Now I haven't talked to them about it yet, but I do plan to. She also tends to be a bit possessive, and while she never admits it, I think she does get jealous that I have female friends myself, and I don't know how far she'll carry this possessive attitude, but I really don't want to find out. Anyways, I'm just sitting here wondering if all of this is worth it. I mean she says that she loves me and care about me, but I just wonder if it's really true or what. I really do want to give this relationship an honest try, and I guess that's why I'm thinking about it so much right now, and asking other people if it's worth it. So what do you guys think?
How teenage are you?

If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me.

*whistles the theme from M*A*S*H*