NationStates Jolt Archive

We know Godwin's Law: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one."

Murphy's Law, as every schoolchild knows, states "If anything can go wrong, it will."

Here are a few more from my Murphy's Law calendar:


Parker's Principle: Never order anything in a vegetarian restaurant that would ordinarily have meat in it
Goethe's Observation: When ideas fail, words come in very handy
Twain's Observation on Profanity: Profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer
Bombeck's Law of Heredity: Insanity is hereditary: you get it from your kids
Denniston's Law: Virtue is its own punishment
Mencken's Principle: Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone may be looking
Perkin's Postulate: You can be sincere and still be stupid
Any more you're fond of?

I'm a fan of the Dilbert Principle

The Dilbert Principle refers to a 1990s satirical observation stating that companies tend to systematically promote their least-competent employees to management, in order to limit the amount of damage that they're capable of doing.

Ginsberg's Principle, a.k.a. the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
1. You can't win.
2. You can't break even.
3. You can't even get out of the game.

Murphy's Law, as every schoolchild knows, states "If anything can go wrong, it will."

Murphy's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy's_law)
Murphy's law is a popular adage in Western culture that most likely originated at Edwards Air Force Base in 1948. The Law broadly states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. "If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way." It is most often cited as "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong" (or, alternately, "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time," or, "Anything that can go wrong, will," or even, "If anything can go wrong, it will, and usually at the most inopportune moment"). However, this interpretation has given rise to confusion with Sod's law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sod%27s_law) and Finagle's law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finagle%27s_law).

People always misquote Murphy's Law. Always. Consider that Ifreann's Law.

Hanlon's Razor is also win.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Murphy's Law, as every schoolchild knows, states "If anything can go wrong, it will."

Technically that's either Sod's Law (whatever can go wrong will) or Finagle's law (Whatever can go wrong will, and at the worst moment).

Murphy's Law states that if there are multiple ways of doing something, and one of those ways will end badly, someone will invariably choose that way of doing it.

EDIT

And now to add Arthais' law: Whenever you have the opportunity to show off some knowledge and sound smart, you will invariably be beatten to the punch by a canadian.

I'm a believer in the 50-50-90 Rule:

"If you have a 50-50 chance of winning, you'll lose 90% of the time."

The Good Doctor's Law: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

and on toddlers

If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it is broken it is yours.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong

and on toddlers

If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it is broken it is yours.

Don't forget if it needs to be picked up it's not mine.

Don't forget if it needs to be picked up it's not mine.

:p

so true.

I have said it a million times at least to my kids "if I have to pick it up, I am keeping it" and at least a few times, I got new toys.

Ginsberg's Principle, a.k.a. the Three Laws of Thermodynamics:
1. You can't win.
2. You can't break even.
3. You can't even get out of the game.
Yes, but Capitalism claims you can win, Socialism claims you can break even, and Mysticism claims you can quit the game.
Murphy's Law (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy's_law)


People always misquote Murphy's Law. Always. Consider that Ifreann's Law.

Technically that's either Sod's Law (whatever can go wrong will) or Finagle's law (Whatever can go wrong will, and at the worst moment).

Murphy's Law states that if there are multiple ways of doing something, and one of those ways will end badly, someone will invariably choose that way of doing it.

EDIT

And now to add Arthais' law: Whenever you have the opportunity to show off some knowledge and sound smart, you will invariably be beatten to the punch by a canadian.

Oh, sod off, both of you! :p :D

A variation on Sod's Law:
"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong faster with a computer."

Pretty much sums up the Information Age.

Ilaer

A variation on Sod's Law:
"Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong faster with a computer."

Pretty much sums up the Information Age.

Ilaer

I think that phrase needs 'and will cost ten times as much to fix' at the end of it.

I think that phrase needs 'and will cost ten times as much to fix' at the end of it.

And 'and the warranty doesn't cover it; neither does the extra and extremely expensive insurance you took out on it.'

Oh, and you need to post in the NBCyIPsW party thread, Lord Retired President Founder person. :D

Ilaer

And 'and the warranty doesn't cover it; neither does the extra and extremely expensive insurance you took out on it.'

Oh, and you need to post in the NBCyIPsW party thread, Lord Retired President Founder person. :D

Ilaer

With the additional corollary that Bill Gates will make money from it.

With the additional corollary that Bill Gates will make money from it.

Ah, yes. I forgot that little detail.
Bill Gates will make money from it even if it's Linux.

Ilaer

"If you can't convince them Confuse them"

"If you can't convince them Confuse them"

"If you can't Blind them with your Brilliance Baffle them with your Bullshit."

Poe's law:

"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

Yes, but Capitalism claims you can win, Socialism claims you can break even, and Mysticism claims you can quit the game.

That's why capitalism, socialism, and mysticism don't work.

Ginsberg's Theorem actually is an accurate summary of the laws of thermodynamics, which are as follows:
1. Energy must be conserved. (You can't win)
2. Energy is always lost through entropy. (You can't break even)
3. There is no real-world structure that is devoid of entropy. (You can't get out of the game)

Another favorite:

"Computers allow us to commit more errors more rapidly than other human invention in history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."

Technically that's either Sod's Law (whatever can go wrong will) or Finagle's law (Whatever can go wrong will, and at the worst moment).

Murphy's Law states that if there are multiple ways of doing something, and one of those ways will end badly, someone will invariably choose that way of doing it.

EDIT

And now to add Arthais' law: Whenever you have the opportunity to show off some knowledge and sound smart, you will invariably be beatten to the punch by a canadian.
I'm not canadian......
That's why capitalism, socialism, and mysticism don't work.

Ginsberg's Theorem actually is an accurate summary of the laws of thermodynamics, which are as follows:
1. Energy must be conserved. (You can't win)
2. Energy is always lost through entropy. (You can't break even)
3. There is no real-world structure that is devoid of entropy. (You can't get out of the game)

Another favorite:

"Computers allow us to commit more errors more rapidly than other human invention in history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."

People always leave out the Zeroth Law.


Moar addage-y goodness
Orgel's rules.
First rule: Whenever a spontaneous process is too slow or too inefficient a protein will evolve to speed it up or make it more efficient.
Second rule: Evolution is cleverer than you are.

There's also Poe's Law. Can't find a good definition of it, though.

Some new ones:

Siki's law: A provisorium survives everything. Especially it's scheduled replacement.

Siki was a quick hack, which grew and grew and is still in use today at the place it was developped.

Little Timmy's law: One 3-year old in a restaurant is louder than 100 adults.

Rejistania's law: If a day starts by the sound of an alarm clock, it can't turn out well. :p

The Inverse Ninja Law: In any action movie involving ninja, the effectiveness of any single ninja is inversely proportional to the number of similar ninja involved in the combat.

The Inverse Ninja Law: In any action movie involving ninja, the effectiveness of any single ninja is inversely proportional to the number of similar ninja involved in the combat.

Well, exactly. Ninja are supposed to be stealthy solo killers. Sticking them in groups just crimps their style.

The Inverse Ninja Law: In any action movie involving ninja, the effectiveness of any single ninja is inversely proportional to the number of similar ninja involved in the combat.

See also the Stormtrooper Effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormtrooper_effect).

See also the Stormtrooper Effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormtrooper_effect).

They're closely related, yes.

Did anyone else read Perkin's prostate for a second?

Cole's Law:

Finely sliced cabbage.

I forget what it's called. But it's "There is no opinion or viewpoint so abhorrent there is not someone on the internet willing to defend it."

The Chuck Norris corrolary to Murphy's Law:

Anything that can go wrong will be roundhouse kicked in the face.

The Chuck Norris corrolary to Murphy's Law:

Anything that can go wrong will be roundhouse kicked in the face.

You fail.

The Chuck Norris corrolary to Murphy's Law:

Anything that can go wrong will be roundhouse kicked in the face.

Sepaluera's Law:
Anyone who mentions Chuck Norris loses!

Sepaluera's addition:
...except when stating this law.

Webster's Law:
If you spell it 'looser', you are a loser!

The "In Soviet Russia" Law: In Soviet Russia, law cite you!

There is the Victoria Principal - if you think your husband might be dead go and check out the shower.

Dank Computern können wir Probleme lösen, die wir ohne sie gar nicht hätten.
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/hacker.gif

Roughly translated:
Thanks to computers we can solve problems that we wouldn't even have without'em.

"The safer and more secure an object is when stored, the more likely it is for you to forget where you put it at a later date."

If that isn't an existing law, I would like to claim.

These Should be Murphy's Laws
The Law of Volunteering: If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

The Law of Avoiding Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The Law of Common Sense: Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

The Law of Self Sacrific: When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

The Law of Motivation: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Law of Volunteer Labor: People are always available for work in the past tense.

Conway's Law: In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There is always one more bug.

Law of Drunkedness: You can't fall off the floor.

Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.

Osborne's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

Main's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Weinberg's Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

From: http://www.geocities.com/krishna_kunchith/humor/computer.html?200718#murphy2

The Goofballian Principle: I will make you laugh.
Corrolary to the Goofballian Principle: If I can't make you laugh, I'll make the people near you laugh.

:)

Poe's law: "Without the use of a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to make a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing."

Yes, I just did discover that in two minutes of looking at the wiki article.

Poe's law: "Without the use of a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to make a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing."

Yes, I just did discover that in two minutes of looking at the wiki article.

Last I checked, the wiki article was deleted. Huh.