NationStates Jolt Archive

I don't sleep in the same room as my husband, and haven't for a long time. At first, it was because his snoring was intolerable. Now, it's because he's gone so often, neither of us can actually sleep when he IS home because we're both used to sleeping alone. Plus...he can't really fall asleep without the tv lulling him into it, and I can not sleep period with the tv on. So, he sleeps on the couch most nights, and I get the bed. It makes for much better mornings for both of us, and I don't give a shit how it might look from the outside.

Edit: fekking warp, I take the thread!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6441131.stm


More and more couples in the US are ordering separate master bedrooms in their new homes to help ensure a more harmonious marriage, research suggests.

A survey by the National Association of Home Builders has predicted that by 2015, 60% of custom-built homes will have two master bedroom suites.

what do you guys think?

I know my grandparents had separate beds, and they were married for 60 years.

I kinda like the idea of having my own room, but I always figured it's not socially acceptable, since I am married........maybe that trend is shifting?

I certainly wouldn't mind having my own private den-type area, if I were married, and an equivalent one for my spouse.

Not so sold on the idea of separate master bedrooms (they're use is so limited! sleeping only, bah, I'd want my private room to be a multi-purpose, multi-media funhouse).

Definitely separate rooms - I'm a very light sleeper and usually am not able to fall asleep at all when sharing the bed with someone. Separate beds would be okay only as long as the guy doesn't snore which most guys I know do, sadly.

It would probably get some odd looks and comments from friends and family, but eh, screw them.

Meh, if it keeps you happy then it's all good.

Definitely separate rooms - I'm a very light sleeper and usually am not able to fall asleep at all when sharing the bed with someone.
I'm a ridiculously light sleeper. The damn fridge clicking on wakes me up most nights. Now, I'm not going to hold that against the fridge and attack it at 3 am. But I'm much less tolerant of other human beings disturbing me.

i like to know how that would work here as we don't have big blocks of land like the old days

I’m not married, but I wouldn’t like separate rooms. Too little snuggling! :fluffle:

Definitely separate rooms - I'm a very light sleeper and usually am not able to fall asleep at all when sharing the bed with someone. Separate beds would be okay only as long as the guy doesn't snore which most guys I know do, sadly.

It would probably get some odd looks and comments from friends and family, but eh, screw them.

That's funny, because most girls I know snore, and every girl I've shared a bed with has. I do too, however, it is very rarely and only slightly when I do. I think that multiple bedrooms are a damn good idea, though, but then again, I'm an evil worm overlord, so what do I know?

I’m not married, but I wouldn’t like separate rooms. Too little snuggling! :fluffle:

if you only snuggle while you are asleep, how do you know you are snuggling?

i personally love being close and next to my lady at night, but for practical reasons we tend to sleep apart because i snore and take up loads of the bed so she can't sleep too well, and i just keep waking up with someone else in my bed.

i'd like to get used to it in time (and get surgery for my snoring) but if not possible i could live with having seperate beds/rooms, as long as its not all the time. it would almost feel like rejecting each other otherwise :(


i <3 the snuggles too! :fluffle:

if you only snuggle while you are asleep, how do you know you are snuggling?


u snuggle before going to sleep, and u go to sleep while snuggled

i can only go to sleep if i am spooning my wife. if she is not there or is facing me, it takes a long time to get comfortable :rolleyes:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6441131.stm




what do you guys think?

I know my grandparents had separate beds, and they were married for 60 years.

I kinda like the idea of having my own room, but I always figured it's not socially acceptable, since I am married........maybe that trend is shifting?

do you like the idea of your own room or do you like the idea of sleeping alone? "a room of ones own" is a great idea for anyone. sleeping alone should probably be discussed with your husband. there are many options ranging from seperate matresses on a king sized bed to seperate beds in seperate rooms.

personally, i dont really like sleeping alone.

I'm not married, but I don't feel we'd need seperate rooms. We both snore (or so he tells me ;)), and normally I'm having problems falling asleep with another person in the same room, but for whatever reason I have no such problems with him at all. On the contrary... I'm much more likely to fall asleep on the couch if I'm snuggling up to him while watching TV than I would be if I was sitting there by myself.
I'd opt for a bigger bed when we do move in together, but I wouldn't want seperate rooms.

My wife and I have considered it, but we can't really afford the space.

We'd probably both sleep better.

My wife and I have considered it, but we can't really afford the space.

We'd probably both sleep better.

I thought robots just had an off-switch, and 'sleep' standing up in the closet anyway?

if you only snuggle while you are asleep, how do you know you are snuggling?

It changes my dreams. *nods* :)

That's funny, because most girls I know snore, and every girl I've shared a bed with has. I do too, however, it is very rarely and only slightly when I do. I think that multiple bedrooms are a damn good idea, though, but then again, I'm an evil worm overlord, so what do I know?

i snore like a fucking sea lion :D

http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/8384/californiasealionoi7.jpg

i could live with having seperate beds/rooms, as long as its not all the time. it would almost feel like rejecting each other otherwise :(Well, it wouldn't be all the time! I mean, there would still be snuggling and stuff and falling asleep together - but there would also be that place to flee to when the other one wakes you right up again after 20 minutes because they're hogging the blanket or sawing logs. It's win-win! :)

i snore like a fucking sea lion :D

http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/8384/californiasealionoi7.jpg

That's no sea lion!
This (http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/2001982351398543517rs.jpg) is a sea lion!

I do sleep much better when I've got the bed to myself than when my girlfriend's up, so it seems like a good idea to me for Every-Day kipping.

But it's nice to share when you only see each other occasionally.

Well, it wouldn't be all the time! I mean, there would still be snuggling and stuff and falling asleep together - but there would also be that place to flee to when the other one wakes you right up again after 20 minutes because they're hogging the blanket or sawing logs. It's win-win! :)
hrumph....
That's no sea lion!
This (http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/2001982351398543517rs.jpg) is a sea lion!

YAAAAYyyyyyyyy!!!! :D :p

Oh look at the time, I´m getting old and conservative.

In my days marriage meant making sacrifices for one another.

Nowadays people cant even decide on bed manners without divorcing.

Oh and I´ve been able to sleep in hostels with 8 beds/room. With people farting, snoring and messing with plastic bags, its a wonder anyone can sleep at all.

if you only snuggle while you are asleep, how do you know you are snuggling?
Unconscious snuggling. And snuggling as you drop off to sleep.

And who doesn’t like waking up to see their loved-one next to them?

do you like the idea of your own room or do you like the idea of sleeping alone? "a room of ones own" is a great idea for anyone. sleeping alone should probably be discussed with your husband. there are many options ranging from seperate matresses on a king sized bed to seperate beds in seperate rooms.

personally, i dont really like sleeping alone.

I would probably (if I had the option) go for my own room, and separate beds in our room, since he can't be still during the night and I am a light sleeper.

That’s no sea lion!
This (http://i134.photobucket.com/albums/q100/TheSteveslols/2001982351398543517rs.jpg) is a sea lion!
Egads!

That’s huuuuuge!

Oh look at the time, I´m getting old and conservative.

In my days marriage meant making sacrifices for one another.

Nowadays people cant even decide on bed manners without divorcing.

:rolleyes:

Unconscious snuggling. And snuggling as you drop off to sleep.

And who doesn’t like waking up to see their loved-one next to them?

I wake up next to him every morning.....it's nice.

I think Ash is right though, I just want my own space, not necessarily sleeping apart.

I wake up next to him every morning.....it’s nice.

I think Ash is right though, I just want my own space, not necessarily sleeping apart.
I’ve got a kick-ass big bed, so space isn’t a problem. And teh gurlz look so cute when they’re sleeping. I imagine teh boiz look cute as well.

What is this timewarp that everyone is mentioning? I are confuz0red.

I’ve got a kick-ass big bed, so space isn’t a problem. And teh gurlz look so cute when they’re sleeping. I imagine teh boiz look cute as well.

he looks like he always looks......

we had to downsize from our California King, to a full size bed, and we are smushed....not to mention the fact that his feet hang off the end.....

I hate married couples, and couples in general. Stuffy conceited cloying bastards. Bastards I say, bastids!

Good to see you too:fluffle:

There was an article in the Sunday NY Times on this very subject, it must be the trendy thing of the week.

There have been times when one of us ... actually, mostly Herself, not me ... has fled to the guest room because she couldn't sleep. We both do snore but once I fall asleep, I'm usually down for several hours. My Lady's pretty much the same. I don't think I'd care to forego the closeness and presence. Besides, us sleeping in separate rooms would confuse the living daylights out of the cat! :p

I hate married couples, and couples in general. Stuffy conceited cloying bastards. Bastards I say, bastids!

I look forward to some global catastrophe that kills billions and destroys modern society.

Ok, fine, but you have to give me some nookie before the world goes Boom.

But that’s just it, no one is really glad to see anyone, everyone hates each other except for the pesky needs that others can sometimes provide.

Life is a wasteland of false smiles.

I look forward to some global catastrophe that kills billions and destroys modern society.
o0o0o0o game theory!

Good to see you too:fluffle:

But that's just it, no one is really glad to see anyone, everyone hates each other except for the pesky needs that others can sometimes provide.

Life is a wasteland of false smiles.

I look forward to some global catastrophe that kills billions and destroys modern society.

There was an article in the Sunday NY Times on this very subject, it must be the trendy thing of the week.

There have been times when one of us ... actually, mostly Herself, not me ... has fled to the guest room because she couldn't sleep. We both do snore but once I fall asleep, I'm usually down for several hours. My Lady's pretty much the same. I don't think I'd care to forego the closeness and presence. Besides, us sleeping in separate rooms would confuse the living daylights out of the cat! :p

For some reason I was under the impression Farnhamia was a girl.


Maybe she still is. Lesbot, Farnnie? :3

Man disregarding the sex thing for a moment, I just can't imagine not sleeping with my wife.

But that's just it, no one is really glad to see anyone, everyone hates each other except for the pesky needs that others can sometimes provide.

Life is a wasteland of false smiles.

I look forward to some global catastrophe that kills billions and destroys modern society.

Negative. I'm glad to be able to talk to everyone on here, even the tards like you. =)

why is there the assumption though that because two people are married that they must literally sleep in the same bed?

Heh what assumption? I'm talking soley about me here.

Man disregarding the sex thing for a moment, I just can't imagine not sleeping with my wife.

why is there the assumption though that because two people are married that they must literally sleep in the same bed?

Negative. I'm glad to be able to talk to everyone on here, even the tards like you. =)

You are indeed glad of your ability, and what amusement it provides you, and that just proves my point. ;)

why is there the assumption though that because two people are married that they must literally sleep in the same bed?

If the Flintstones have taught us anything is that couples should sleep in separate beds and pelicans are great trash compactors.

If the Flintstones have taught us anything is that couples should sleep in separate beds and pelicans are great trash compactors.

And that one should always lie to the wife about such manly pursuits as bolwing and drinking!

When I was living in the dorm I had my first experiences of trying to sleep with someone else in the bed. I could never sleep, though part of that is probably because I had the narrowest bed I have ever seen.

A few years later I had my first serious relationship – we slept in the same bed almost every night. I was miserable – I liked the snuggling, but couldn’t sleep. She was a very snuggly sleeper so I would tend to move away just a little and after a few minutes she would snuggle in closer, so I would pull away a bit, she would move closer… we would start out snuggled up close to the edge on her side of the bed and I would wake up in the morning by falling out my side.

It took many months of being together almost every night before I could get used to having another warm body in bed with me while I slept. Unfortunately I got so well adapted to it I started having trouble sleeping without someone in bed with me.

My last girlfriend was a morning person – she would be in bed by 9 and up by 5am. I naturally start falling asleep around 4am. This did not work out so well.

Sometimes the only way to make it work is to have the biggest bed you can find; that way you can snuggle up or sleep apart at whim.

My boyfriend and I share a double futon bed.

It works out.

Even though he sounds like a friggin' lumber mill some nights, it works out. I have sharp nails, so I poke him, he moans and turns over. We both then go back to sleep facing opposite directions.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6441131.stm




what do you guys think?

I know my grandparents had separate beds, and they were married for 60 years.

I kinda like the idea of having my own room, but I always figured it's not socially acceptable, since I am married........maybe that trend is shifting?
My boyfriend and I live together, but often sleep in different rooms. While we often joke about one of us having to "sleep on the couch," it's actually not remotely connected to fighting or anything like that. It's because I am the most annoying person in the world to try to sleep near.

First, I require noise to fall asleep. It can't be music, it can't be white noise, it can't be any of the nice, soothing kinds of sound most people like. I need talking and sporadic noise, usually achieved by leaving the TV on while I fall asleep. Needless to say, lots of people have trouble falling asleep when there is random noise blaring at them.

Second, I do not remain asleep. I wake up between 3-10 times per night. Every night. Sometimes I can just lay in bed until I fall back asleep, but usually I need to get up and have some water or pee or something.

Third, I wake up at ungodly early hours during the work week. I'm talking 5:30-6:00 am.

If I wanted to torture my boyfriend, I might force him to sleep in the same bed as me. If I were really, really pissed off, I might try to sleep in his bed to punish him. But generally I prefer not to be that mean. :D

Second, I do not remain asleep. I wake up between 3-10 times per night. Every night. Sometimes I can just lay in bed until I fall back asleep, but usually I need to get up and have some water or pee or something.

I had a girlfriend like that. She'd get up five or six times in the night, go to the washroom, eat crackers, have some water, etc.

Another one had nightmares and got very scared at night, she never woke up, just woke me up. Actually she got very upset when I stopped caring and just slept through her nightmares.

I had a girlfriend like that. She'd get up five or six times in the night, go to the washroom, eat crackers, have some water, etc.

Another one had nightmares and got very scared at night, she never woke up, just woke me up. Actually she got very upset when I stopped caring and just slept through her nightmares.

I laughed. Sorry.

my parents sleeping in seperate rooms was a symptom of the detereoration of their marriage.

I had a girlfriend like that. She'd get up five or six times in the night, go to the washroom, eat crackers, have some water, etc.
hubby does that, he wakes up all the freaking time, goes to the bathroom, gets a snack, checks his email, watches TV, I don't get it, I just wanna sleep....

My wife and I share the same futon (Unless she's pissed off at me). However, just allergy season I snore terribly and she has to flee to the other room in order to sleep. It got so bad that last year we were leaving extra blankets out for her to make up a bed to sleep in.

Sadly, this time of year is too cold for her to do so, she has me use those Breathe Right strips to stop me from snoring. She hasn't killed me... yet.

Minus the snoring though, the both of us prefer to sleep together, even though I am a very light sleeper and she has a tendency to kick me out of the bed.

A lot of people will try to say the separate rooms means a marriage in trouble, but there was a time when it was the norm. When I was married, I really wanted separate beds, separate rooms would have been better. I frankly think our marriage would have lasted longer if we had each had our own space. Sometimes you just need to get away for a while.

I believe that the ideal situation for me would to not only have separate beds, but separate apartments that are joined together with a common room. I'm just wired to be independant. I like my space. Plus, sharing a bed loses its lustre after you've grown used to sleeping alone.

And I've been told I snore. Loudly.

So a whole seperate apartment is the way to go!

My fiance sleeps on the couch, while I get the bed with my son (since he doesn't have his own)

A lot of people will try to say the separate rooms means a marriage in trouble, but there was a time when it was the norm. When I was married, I really wanted separate beds, separate rooms would have been better. I frankly think our marriage would have lasted longer if we had each had our own space. Sometimes you just need to get away for a while.

yeh, i think that's definitely right for many people and i think it probably would have worked for my parents had they figured that out sooner. by the time they did start to sleep in seperate rooms, however, they really despised oneanother so it actually was an indication of a failed marriage.

My boyfriend and I live together, but often sleep in different rooms. While we often joke about one of us having to "sleep on the couch," it's actually not remotely connected to fighting or anything like that. It's because I am the most annoying person in the world to try to sleep near.

First, I require noise to fall asleep. It can't be music, it can't be white noise, it can't be any of the nice, soothing kinds of sound most people like. I need talking and sporadic noise, usually achieved by leaving the TV on while I fall asleep. Needless to say, lots of people have trouble falling asleep when there is random noise blaring at them.

Second, I do not remain asleep. I wake up between 3-10 times per night. Every night. Sometimes I can just lay in bed until I fall back asleep, but usually I need to get up and have some water or pee or something.

Third, I wake up at ungodly early hours during the work week. I'm talking 5:30-6:00 am.

If I wanted to torture my boyfriend, I might force him to sleep in the same bed as me. If I were really, really pissed off, I might try to sleep in his bed to punish him. But generally I prefer not to be that mean. :D

I can totally see that. *After fight* "Nu'uh, mister, you're not sleeping on the couch tonight!"
*sighs, sullenly says "Yes, dear." before climbing into bed*

Maybe?

My history teacher says in the 50s, seperate beds were a must for TV. MY parents have been seperate for a few days because my dad is sick and they seem happier.

It's very helpful for the more well-endowed of us.

Couldn't resist.

I may not be married, but I do enjoy snuggling and falling asleep with Kay by my side. She is very warm hehe. :fluffle:

I just can't see myself ever doing the seperate beds/bedrooms thing.

One of the best parts of being in a relationship is knowing that you never have to face those first soul-crushing moments of wakefulness alone.

Of course, I sleep like a fucking hibernating bear (I slept through a Tornado once), so that ought to tell you something. :p

I believe that the ideal situation for me would to not only have separate beds, but separate apartments that are joined together with a common room. I'm just wired to be independant. I like my space. Plus, sharing a bed loses its lustre after you've grown used to sleeping alone.

And I've been told I snore. Loudly.

So a whole seperate apartment is the way to go!
QFT!

Oh I waited all my life for my lovely Canadian, I adore sleeping with him, adore being held by him. He holds me warm and safe in his arms and I fall asleep like that every night. Why would I want to have my own bedroom, when I can share a bed with the man I love and adore with all my heart?
I love feeling his skin against mine, feeling his breath on me as he sleeps and love waking up with him beside me. It would break my heart to lose that wonderful time that nobody else can be part of. Plus, we often have sex in them middle of the night, just if we both awake at the same time, how would that work in a separate room? Would I have to tip toe along the landing to check he was awake? Nah I would rather have that ummmm rather insistent reminder that he is there and wants me, sticking in my back!

Oh I waited all my life for my lovely Canadian, I adore sleeping with him, adore being held by him. He holds me warm and safe in his arms and I fall asleep like that every night. Why would I want to have my own bedroom, when I can share a bed with the man I love and adore with all my heart?
I love feeling his skin against mine, feeling his breath on me as he sleeps and love waking up with him beside me. It would break my heart to lose that wonderful time that nobody else can be part of. Plus, we often have sex in them middle of the night, just if we both awake at the same time, how would that work in a separate room? Would I have to tip toe along the landing to check he was awake? Nah I would rather have that ummmm rather insistent reminder that he is there and wants me, sticking in my back!

You make a rather compelling argument to change my position on the separate aparments theory..... espescially if all women covet Canadian men in such a way...

Seperate bedrooms is the way to go.

Mine would have "PRIVATE. Girls keep out!!!" on the door.
Yep, I'm ready for a close loving relationship, any day now :cool:

I used to think, "Well -that's what the couch is for", except I usually ended up being the one to camp out in the living room and it's not so good for my back.

Now my significant other works graveyard shifts so I have the room all to myself on weekdays and that's a good enough break for me. I need somebody to throw my leg over once in awhile when I'm sleeping. If he starts snoring, I just pinch his nose shut briefly. It seems to work for a few. I can tolerate the rest of the minor sleep deprevation issues for now. Maybe when we get older and value our sleep more often...