NationStates Jolt Archive

Clicky! (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867/how_to_shower_men_women/)

I saw a written version of this once upon a time, funny stuff.

Any other amusing differences between men and women we can lol at?

Saw it a month ago. It's mostly true.

What? Who washes their face first? I always wash my hair first and leave the shampoo in until I put conditioner on (about halfway through the shower).

I'm a woman and I want to know what twit actually goes through all that crap just to take a shower. I want to get in the shower, get clean, and get out as quickly as possible. I mean how long would it take for said woman to take a shower? Does she save some warm water for anyone else in the house?

I take a shower to get clean and rinse the smell of pizza and chicken ass off of me not to smell like a botanical garden.

I'm a woman and I want to know what twit actually goes through all that crap just to take a shower. I want to get in the shower, get clean, and get out as quickly as possible. I mean how long would it take for said woman to take a shower? Does she save some warm water for anyone else in the house?

I take a shower to get clean and rinse the smell of pizza and chicken ass off of me not to smell like a botanical garden.

Clearly you're not really a woman. The interweb can't be wrong. It has anti-wrong filters.

...and rinse the smell of pizza and chicken ass off of me not to smell like a botanical garden.

You fuck chickens?

Clearly you're not really a woman. The interweb can't be wrong. It has anti-wrong filters.

*Looks down pants* Hmm, if I'm a man then there is something seriously wrong here. :(

Also, screwing the chickens would probably be much more fun than what I have to do which is tearing all the fat off the bloody chicken's ass and tying it up before it goes in the roaster.

I suppose that twit would be me.

I wash my hair twice, and leave the conditioner on for the remainder of the shower rinsing it off last, while I am waiting for it to sit for the recommended 10 minutes I do all that other stuff, face scrub, sugar scrub for my skin, essential oil body wash, shave, etc.

Don't forget the towel the size of a small country...

I'm a woman and I want to know what twit actually goes through all that crap just to take a shower. I want to get in the shower, get clean, and get out as quickly as possible. I mean how long would it take for said woman to take a shower? Does she save some warm water for anyone else in the house?

I take a shower to get clean and rinse the smell of pizza and chicken ass off of me not to smell like a botanical garden.

I suppose that twit would be me.

I wash my hair twice, and leave the conditioner on for the remainder of the shower rinsing it off last, while I am waiting for it to sit for the recommended 10 minutes I do all that other stuff, face scrub, sugar scrub for my skin, essential oil body wash, shave, etc.

You fuck chickens?

While eating pizza no less...that's approaching Caligula-style depravity.

While eating pizza no less...that's approaching Caligula-style depravity.

Haha! I like the way you think. What could be better than a nice hot pizza with some beastiality on the side.

Clearly you're not really a woman. The interweb can't be wrong. It has anti-wrong filters.

Exactly.

I suppose that twit would be me.

I wash my hair twice, and leave the conditioner on for the remainder of the shower rinsing it off last, while I am waiting for it to sit for the recommended 10 minutes I do all that other stuff, face scrub, sugar scrub for my skin, essential oil body wash, shave, etc.
Wow. I'm proud when I manage to do that like once a year.

yep, my towel is 5 feet by 4 feet.

it's huge, I love it.
That, however, is true. No towel can ever be big enough. *nods*

Don't forget the towel the size of a small country...

yep, my towel is 5 feet by 4 feet.

it's huge, I love it.

so not me

Wow. I'm proud when I manage to do that like once a year.

That explains a lot.

Don't forget the towel the size of a small country...

That makes me think of a Divine Comedy lyric, and if I mention it I'm going to get owned >_<

my morning shower is what keeps me sane.

You fit all that in the morning? O_o

Wow. I'm proud when I manage to do that like once a year.

my morning shower is what keeps me sane.

That explains a lot.
Oh yes? Pray tell, and don't hold back!

Oh yes? Pray tell, and don't hold back!

The smell, mostly.

I can get it done in less than 15 minutes if I have to.

Does it hurt when your fingertips break the sound barrier?

;)

The smell, mostly.Of course. :fluffle:

You fit all that in the morning? O_o

I can get it done in less than 15 minutes if I have to.

that is sooo wrong. I don't admire my physique in the mirror... no mirror large enough. :p

and I definatly don't pee in the shower.

Here's how a man really does it:

Get naked in the bathroom.
Make sure you leave your clothes, especially your underwear, right where a woman would most likely step. They love that.
Turn on shower.
Use shampoo.
Forget to use the soap. It messes with your manly smell. Soap is for women. Soap is not for men.
Turn off shower and walk out.
Drip dry on the floor ONLY after your wife has spent hours cleaning it.
Walk into your room and get dressed.
Leave the mess in the bathroom for your wife. Woman clean. Men mess up. It's the circle of life.

Here's how a man really does it:

Get naked in the bathroom.
Make sure you leave your clothes, especially your underwear, right where a woman would most likely step. They love that.
Turn on shower.
Use soap.
Forget to use the shampoo. shampoo is for women. shampoo is not for men.
Turn off shower and walk out.
Drip dry on the floor ONLY after your wife has spent hours cleaning it.
Walk into your room and get dressed.
Leave the mess in the bathroom for your wife. Woman clean. Men mess up. It's the circle of life.

Corrected. :p

that is sooo wrong. I don't admire my physique in the mirror... no mirror large enough. :p
be nice.

and I definatly don't pee in the shower.

:p

be nice. ??? it's true, the only mirror in my apartment is a small one that only show the head and shoulders.

what did you think I meant. :confused:

you know what I think you meant.
I think I know what you think JuNii knows what he thinks what you know what he thinks. I think...

I'll admit, this was totally true of me before I had kids.

Now I'm lucky to be in there for five minutes, for fear that the kids will burn down the house in the meantime.

??? it's true, the only mirror in my apartment is a small one that only show the head and shoulders.

what did you think I meant. :confused:

you know what I think you meant.

This video lies. I spend as much time in the shower as possible because I enjoy the warm water...especially since I've had a crapload of lower back problems lately and the water helps sooth the pain...but I do become quite clean. Not Zestfully clean though. Zest harms my sensitive skin.

But you only think you know what Smunkee thinks I knows what I thinks what Smunkee knows what I thinks when in reality, I do know what Smunkee thinks I know what smunkee was thinking about when I ask what smunkee was thinking about which is not what I was thinking about.
That’s what SHE said!!!!

you know what I think you meant.
*thinks* oh... no... I need one of those Carnival Fun mirrors for that...

I think...

I think I know what you think JuNii knows what he thinks what you know what he thinks. I think...But you only think you know what Smunkee thinks I knows what I thinks what Smunkee knows what I thinks when in reality, I do know what Smunkee thinks I know what smunkee was thinking about when I ask what smunkee was thinking about which is not what I was thinking about.


This video lies. I spend as much time in the shower as possible because I enjoy the warm water...especially since I've had a crapload of lower back problems lately and the water helps sooth the pain...but I do become quite clean. Not Zestfully clean though. Zest harms my sensitive skin.
then you're not really clean... :p

They overly played-up the immaturity of the guy (or perhaps I just have a higher opinion of men in general – can’t say I really know how anyone else behaves in the shower as I can only speak for myself).

The process is simple.

Stand very close to dirty clothes pile (theoretically there is a laundry basket or something underneath it – it’s a Schrödinger’s cat thing until laundry day) and remove clothing, leaving it in a heap next to the pile (and thusly the pile grows).
Note: if just getting up in morning, no clothing to remove as men sleep naked.

Hop in shower.

Grab whatever cleaning agent happens to be at hand. This could be a bar of soap, a bottle of shower gel, bottle of shampoo, whatever happens to be at hand. Get a good handful and rub into hair, face, armpits, down happy trail to genitals, and around to ass.
If feet seem to be exceptionally smelly, maybe a quick rub around toes.

Grab toothbrush and commence vigorous brushing (if bladder is full, pee while doing so to save time – hey, it’s completely water soluble so don’t look at me like that).

If shaving is necessary, grab shaving cream (or aforementioned cleaning product if shaving cream not readily available), apply liberally, and shave.

Rinse off.

Hop out of shower, grab nearest towel-like object, and rub over as much as you can get to in under 30 seconds.

Start to finish should be under 10 minutes, maybe 12 if its been a couple days since last shave or desiring an exceptionally close shave.

Hangover showers add 5 min of just standing under the hot water like a zombie.

Hangover showers add 5 min of just standing under the hot water like a zombie.

Quoted for mighty truth.

How to Shower like Kryozerkia

- Strip and leave clothes in a pile beside the laundry basket
- find your two week old towel
- go into bathroom, turn off light, get in shower
- pre-soak for 10 minutes
- wash hair
- use two different types of facial cleansers
- rinse out conditioner
- rinse off whole body for another good 15 minutes
- get out, and step on your postage stamp size bath mat
- wrap self in towel and head straight for computer semi-dry and immediately log into NSG

wow according to that vid i'm half man half woman.
i loooo-oooove long showers. relaxing and it wakes you up. i don't use all those products though only soap and shampoo.
shampoo mohawks, large towels and the woo-woo sound are fun though.

LOOFAH! :eek:

Loofah loofah loofah!


I need a trip to a spa. Mayhap a wee bit of massage too...

Hangover showers add 5 min of just standing under the hot water like a zombie.
Who needs a hangover, I'll do that as I try to wake up enough to do the other stuff. Stupid morning making me have to wake up.

Clicky! (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867/how_to_shower_men_women/)

I saw a written version of this once upon a time, funny stuff.

Any other amusing differences between men and women we can lol at?

Lolz.

:eek:

It takes me maybe 10-15 minutes to take a shower. I just use soap, wash off, put shampoo on my hair, wash my hair, then dry. Simple. Why would I want to look at myself? Yuck.

Besides, my cat needs the shower...she always rushes to the bathroom whenever she sees that I'm going to take a shower. She loves the water and always jumps right into the tub after I'm done.

My brother, on the other hand, spends about an hour and a half in there every night. He says it takes 30 minutes to use the toilet, 30 minutes to take a shower, and 30 minutes to dry...

I don't know, because my other brother takes a shower in maybe 5 minutes...

My brother, on the other hand, spends about an hour and a half in there every night. He says it takes 30 minutes to use the toilet, 30 minutes to take a shower, and 30 minutes to dry...

I don't know, because my other brother takes a shower in maybe 5 minutes...

Teeheeheehee.

Besides, my cat needs the shower...she always rushes to the bathroom whenever she sees that I'm going to take a shower. She loves the water and always jumps right into the tub after I'm done.
That's just wrong! :eek:

Cats shouldn't like water. It's a spy!
Teeheeheehee.
Naughty naughty ;)

That's just wrong! :eek:

Cats shouldn't like water. It's a spy!
Cat spies. Serious business.
Naughty naughty ;)
Me? :eek: I'm the very picture of innocence.

Huh. I must be doing something wrong then. I get in, shampoo, apply conditioner, use face wash, shave, rinse hair, use body wash, rinse and get out. Five to ten minutes max, on the weekdays. On the weekend I'll stay in longer, maybe 15 minutes, 20 if I'm feeling especially self indulgent.

Cat spies. Serious business.
http://www.acc.umu.se/~zqad/cats/1161382098-1161250279372.jpg

Me? :eek: I'm the very picture of innocence.
Pfft! I'm the minister of Naughtiness, I know naughty when I see it!

You're more like this pic (http://fancyrobot.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/dr_evil_1.jpg)!

Clicky! (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867/how_to_shower_men_women/)

I saw a written version of this once upon a time, funny stuff.

Any other amusing differences between men and women we can lol at?

lol, makes me laugh :p

i'm a cross, because i'm a bloke but i do condition my hair. however, the rest of that is mostly true for me :D

Hangover showers add 5 min of just standing under the hot water like a zombie.

stoned showers: add at least 15 minutes for enjoying the sensation of water splashing on your head, standing like a zombie, thinking how cool batman would be if he had some kind of gun that fired cheese, and forgetting why you're there in the first place...

Wait are you saying most people only do that when they are stoned? Really?

well... it just takes longer when you're high :p

stoned showers: add at least 15 minutes for enjoying the sensation of water splashing on your head, standing like a zombie, thinking how cool batman would be if he had some kind of gun that fired cheese, and forgetting why you're there in the first place...

Wait are you saying most people only do that when they are stoned? Really?

My showers are wasteful and long.


Rinse off.
Whast hair.
Rinse.
Wash face.
Rinse.
Wash upper body.
Rinse.
Wash lower half.
Rinse.

Shower? What is this "shower" you speak of?

I'm a woman and I want to know what twit actually goes through all that crap just to take a shower. I want to get in the shower, get clean, and get out as quickly as possible
This video is clearly a joke. The man version is even sillier.

Why do women take off their sweaters the way they usually do?

I mean, I grab the collar in my neck and simply pull it over my head. Done in about 1-2 seconds.

If you're a woman, you grab the cuff around your waist with crossed arms and get yourself entangled in that thing while you're turning the sweater inside out...

Why?

Why do women take off their sweaters the way they usually do?

I mean, I grab the collar in my neck and simply pull it over my head. Done in about 1-2 seconds.

If you're a woman, you grab the cuff around your waist with crossed arms and get yourself entangled in that thing while you're turning the sweater inside out...

Why?

I wonder that as well, when I put on my shirt, I put my head in first, when hubby puts his on, he puts his arms in first and then pulls it over his head :confused: it's so weird.

we both take them off like you said though.

yep, my towel is 5 feet by 4 feet.

it's huge, I love it.

WHERE did you get it? I wanna big towel, too!!!

I wonder that as well, when I put on my shirt, I put my head in first, when hubby puts his on, he puts his arms in first and then pulls it over his head :confused: it's so weird.

we both take them off like you said though.
I've seen it time and again, with different people and different girls - and I honestly don't understand it!

My brother, on the other hand, spends about an hour and a half in there every night. He says it takes 30 minutes to use the toilet, 30 minutes to take a shower, and 30 minutes to dry...

I don't know, because my other brother takes a shower in maybe 5 minutes...

I bet your brother needs a thorough shower after spending 30 minutes on the toilet....

yep, my towel is 5 feet by 4 feet.

it's huge, I love it.
Smunkee, that's not a towel, that's a rug! :eek:

For me, the daily shower consists of 10 minutes standing under the hot water trying to melt the ice off the windows and warming up enough to actually move, then ten minutes of shampooing, soaping, conditioning, and rincing while listening to music (Love my shower CD player) followed by very quickly toweling off before I freeze solid.

Mornings in Nagano are COLD!

On Saturday evening though... Ah! Bliss! Wonderful bliss of sitting down and pouring hot water all over. Getting every part clean with lots of soap and scubbing with a bath cloth, then more hot water to get every trace of soap and shampoo off. And then finally going to go soak outside in 42+c water with a wonderful view of the valley below.

NOTHING equals a Japanese bath, NOTHING!

Clicky! (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867/how_to_shower_men_women/)

I saw a written version of this once upon a time, funny stuff.

Any other amusing differences between men and women we can lol at?

MWAHAHA. Not true but still funny. Butt hair and peeing in shower is disgusting. And I used to take showers more frequently than most of my ex's in high school due to sports.

Edit: Btw, the girl is totally hot.

Why do women take off their sweaters the way they usually do?

I mean, I grab the collar in my neck and simply pull it over my head. Done in about 1-2 seconds.

If you're a woman, you grab the cuff around your waist with crossed arms and get yourself entangled in that thing while you're turning the sweater inside out...

Why?

It is a matter of stress on the fabric and stretching it out.
Women's clothing tends to be made of soft materials that would get distorted and have a weird shape if you pulled on the collar. Pulling it up with both hands on the bottom helps to preserve the shape.

Posi Showers:

Place clean clothes on counter. Strip. Toss dirty clothes onto toilet.
Turn on water. Stand like zombie waiting for water turn on.
Come to and remember that I was going to shower.
Get nice water all over body. Piss into drain. After a few minutes realize that is either cold as fuck or hot as fuck. Adjust temperature appropriately.
Attempt to read shampoo bottle(Posi is extremely slow in teh mornings and gets that thing were the brain cannot line up the image from both eyes correctly). Close one eye to see if it is the morning stupid, or general vision loss that made it too blurry to read. Test with other eye.
Put shampoo on hand. Think about were it goes.
Stand like a zombie for five minutes. Realize the shower washed all the shampoo out of my hand.
Wash hair, and feet with shampoo.
Consider shaving. Realize, I'd end up a bloody mess.
Realize I am becoming somewhat coherent.
Wash upper body.
Curse my tiny shower for making the washing of my lower body so difficult.
Turn off water.
Stand on bath mat. Watch it become saturated within seconds. Place towel on bathmat to help it out.
Wrap towel around waist and sit on toilet (yes, on the dirty clothes).
Dry upper body with 3rd towel.
Dry lower body.
Put on clean clothes. Realize I forgot pants.
Walk into bedroom. Search floor for pants. Wear first pair found.

It is a matter of stress on the fabric and stretching it out.
Women's clothing tends to be made of soft materials that would get distorted and have a weird shape if you pulled on the collar. Pulling it up with both hands on the bottom helps to preserve the shape.
I always thought that it was because the men's way has a higher risk of pulling the undershirt up with it, increasing the chances of the chick flashing her tits.

Go in bathroom.
Yank robe off.
Turn on water and adjust temp.
Step in.
Have water bounce off body and onto floor before I can get the shower curtain closed.
Wash hair, rinse.
Wash face, rinse.
Soap up everything else, rinse.
Get out of shower, carefully avoiding newspapers, and leaving water all over.
Dry off face and hair.
Bolt out of bathroom, sit on edge of bed to dry the rest.
Stick the same robe back on, go back to computer.

I used to take a huge amount of time to take a shower, but I don't like taking them so I sped it up.

Why do women take off their sweaters the way they usually do?Sweaters will get all yanked out of shape if pulled on in just one spot. Even so, I don't know how come some start pulling at the arms like you described (strait-jacket style). It's easier to just pull up from the bottom, then just keep pulling evenly until it's all the way off.

Personally I hate sweaters (they make me itch no matter what they're made of) and avoid wearing them, so I don't have to worry about it.

I always thought that it was because the men's way has a higher risk of pulling the undershirt up with it, increasing the chances of the chick flashing her tits.In my experience, ANY method of removing an outer shirt/sweater (which doesn't button/zip up the front) has a high chance of causing unwanted exposure if the inside shirt isn't held down as the outer one is removed.

LMAO.

Er, no comment. >.>

Clicky! (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867/how_to_shower_men_women/)

I saw a written version of this once upon a time, funny stuff.

Any other amusing differences between men and women we can lol at?

It's like they have cameras in my house!!! :eek:

yep, my towel is 5 feet by 4 feet.

it's huge, I love it.
fuck a duck! :eek:

i remember giving glitzi what i thought was a really big towel after she had a bath over here one time, and she just looked at it laughing and said "that's tiny!" :(

(hehehe the last bit of that sentence could so be taken the wrong way out of context :p)

how big does a girl towel have to be? :confused:
Why do women take off their sweaters the way they usually do?

I mean, I grab the collar in my neck and simply pull it over my head. Done in about 1-2 seconds.

If you're a woman, you grab the cuff around your waist with crossed arms and get yourself entangled in that thing while you're turning the sweater inside out...

Why?

good point......




the PM shower is actually a bath, as we don't have a working shower in this house (unless you want to kneel in the bath and hold the shower over you while you wash with one hand in the cold...)

1. wash privates, clothes on heap on floor
2. wash privates again
3. soap torso & arms/armpits & feet
4. rinse
5. shampoo
6. conditioner
7. stand on clothes, dry a little with puny towel, put on dressing gown to dry the rest
8. teeth & shave
9. all done! :)


including using the bog i'm done anywhere between 20 and 40 minutes... so i'm not quite the stereotypical guy, huh?

It would appear I'm a cross between guy and girl as well. Though some of you knew that anyway...

- Leave clothes in heap on bathroom floor.
- Turn shower on.
- Brush teeth while waiting for water to warm up.
- Get in shower.
- Shampoo hair.
- Wash face.
- Rinse hair/face.
- Conditioner on hair.
- Wash body.
- Rinse body.
- Rinse hair.

Dried and done.

Which reminds me. I need to shower and get out of the house.

It is a matter of stress on the fabric and stretching it out.
Women's clothing tends to be made of soft materials that would get distorted and have a weird shape if you pulled on the collar. Pulling it up with both hands on the bottom helps to preserve the shape.
The soft fabric already gets a "weird" distorted shape if you put it on a woman's body... And it's not that I'm ripping the sweater off. But from what I've witnessed, the girly method is not nice on the fabric either.
I always thought that it was because the men's way has a higher risk of pulling the undershirt up with it, increasing the chances of the chick flashing her tits.
As opposed to: "I'm flashing my tits while my head's in the sweater, together with my arms, I can't see, nor move, but hey... boobies!"?
Fergi America;12422416']Sweaters will get all yanked out of shape if pulled on in just one spot. Even so, I don't know how come some start pulling at the arms like you described (strait-jacket style). It's easier to just pull up from the bottom, then just keep pulling evenly until it's all the way off.
But that pull from the bottom wreaks havoc on my coordination - it simply doesn't work that way. Whereas grabbing the neck/shoulders works just fine!
Besides, wearing the sweater already puts enough stress on the fabric - it's not like taking it off could do more harm. The sweater should be grateful for the time off!
(hehehe the last bit of that sentence could so be taken the wrong way out of context :p)
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/bath.gif The water was cold?!? :p