NationStates Jolt Archive

Breaking News: Captain America Has Been Killed Due To Friendly Fire.

09-03-2007, 06:18

The nation was rocked today as shocking news filtered its way to the American public. Captain America, best known for his Gay Rights activism during the late 60s and early 70s, was killed early this week on the steps of a Courthouse where he was standing trial. However, our news service has learned that he was in fact killed by Friendly Fire as American Forces in the area mistook him for Taliban insurgents. An airstrike was immediately called in on the courthouse where Captain America, his Lawyer Don Shapiro, and 13 civilians were tragically killed.

Pentagon Spokesperson Col. Richard C. Mongler expressed condolences to the Captain's family for this incident. "We are in a state of mourning for Captain America. He was truly an hero. He was so brave and strong, such an hero..."

"Doesn't really surprise me..." comments Canadian Forces Officer, Captain Canuck. "My unit was moving through the opium fields in southern Helmand last spring when a US jet strafed us. That's where I got these." Captain Canuck gestured to his pair artificial legs. The Captain and his family have spent the last year in an outpatient care facility where he undertakes daily physio-therapy and where staff councillors fight the never ending battle against depression.

"Every day is a struggle, it's like he is learning how to walk all over again." said Captain Canuck's squad member, and long time confidant, Aurora.

"We all feel real bad for him and we're really pulling for him, but it's just hard to see him this way. What really makes me worry is that he thinks he's going to come back to the team...I just don't think that's realistic."

Captain Canuck is one of many wounded veterans who believe they can return to active service after suffering horrendous, life altering, wounds. Dr. Mitchell Henderson, an physician with years of experience in military hospitals around the world, has seen this behaviour before.

"It's really quite sad." says Dr. Henderson. "All these men really want to do is get back to their think, their lives would be fine if it wasn't for having just one bad day."
09-03-2007, 06:20
... what?

09-03-2007, 06:37
Yes, Captain American is dead. It doesn't matter though because Marvel sucks anyway. DC has been in a nosedive for some time too.
09-03-2007, 06:41
RIP Captain America.
09-03-2007, 06:44
They'll pull a Superman and bring him back. Just wait and see.
09-03-2007, 06:59
They'll pull a Superman and bring him back. Just wait and see.
Superman should have stayed dead. And Supergirl should have swallowed a pile of Kryptonite at the end of the issue because radiation poisoning is the best way to go.