NationStates Jolt Archive


i guess this isn't normal...

Pure Metal
08-03-2007, 20:09
with the threads on psychology recently (the depression and personality disorder ones), i was driving back from the office tonight and realised something that i don't usually realise i think about... i was having very lucid morbid fantasies. like a daydream, but in it i was killing someone. to be precise, stamping on their face until it was a blooded mess, and kicking. there were other more fantastical elements of this daydream murder, but for the first time i actually stood back from my own thoughts and realised... this is odd. maybe this isn't normal.

and i realised i've been having these kind of fantasies for a long time. about all kinds of different people - some imagined, some real (ie people i knew). usually when i get angry, or am angered by one of those people.

now, i'm usually quite a calm person, and i try to be nice to everybody... but when i get angry something can just snap in me, and i do have to hold myself back from hurting others or myself. i actually bite my hand (very hard) as a way of making the anger go away... if it translates into pain it seems to subside.


anyway, the point is does anybody else have these kinds of thoughts? is this normal or should i go have myself committed? :p
Multiland
08-03-2007, 20:12
I don't think it's normal but I don't think you should have yourself comitted either. Just start talking to a psychiatrist (note: NOT a less-qualified psychologist)
Dododecapod
08-03-2007, 20:14
Normality is in the eye of the beholder. (Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!). Provided you're not actively considering carrying out these acts, you'll probably be fine.

If you really feel the need, just talk to a shrink. Most of them are nice people, and can help if you need it, but they'll probably just say "You're normal, geddouddahere."
Dinaverg
08-03-2007, 20:16
*shrug* imagining an action always makes me less apt to do it, so eh.

Talk to a doctor if it bothers you.
Farnhamia
08-03-2007, 20:16
Nah, I think of committing mayhem fairly frequently. I would think you abnormal if you didn't from time to time. The hand-biting, though, you might want to invest in an anger management book, there's got to be better ways of draining that energy off. Professional help's always an option, but it really depends on how often you have to do that. Several times a day, yeah, you want some help. Once a month, not so much.

Now go talk to Her Glitziness, that'll calm you down. :D
Compulsive Depression
08-03-2007, 20:17
I have this recurring fantasy of driving a Combine Harvester down the pavement of Oxford Street in London. Makes me giggle like a loon. That will teach the Legions of the Damned to walk so bloody slowly and get in the way! Hehehe :D

People who've angered me have been known to get their own, personal fantasies too.

Still, better than giving in and killing them all isn't it? Well, no, but it's not illegal at least.

Don't worry, I'm not a threat really... I've hardly ever killed anyone...
Utracia
08-03-2007, 20:17
Uh... no. I don't think this is precisely "normal". But what is normal? If the shrinks had their way we would all be in therapy. :p
Smunkeeville
08-03-2007, 20:17
I would def. talk to the doctor that prescribes your meds (if you are on them) sometimes when my dose would be too low I would have scary thoughts like that, mostly about cutting people......when they adjusted my meds though they went away.
Kanabia
08-03-2007, 20:22
I thought everyone had bleak fantasies like that, but that might just have been me rationalising myself.
Infinite Revolution
08-03-2007, 20:23
yeh i get thoughts like that occaisionally. not often, but usually as part of some fantasy of getting my own back on someone who i've perceived victimising me in some way, and they usually don't die i just triumph physically. probably something to do with being passive-aggressive - i've been told enough recently that i have a passive-aggressive personality to believe that every aberrent thought i have or action i carry out is some sort of manifestation of this abnormal personality of mine.
China Phenomenon
08-03-2007, 20:24
Hey, we all go a little crazy sometimes. As long as you're not actually doing anything to hurt anyone, there's nothing to worry about, and no need to waste good money on a shrink. I have thoughts like that all the time too.

Biting your hand is an interesting choice. I myself prefer stabbing myself in the chest. Not deep, just enough to draw blood.
Pure Metal
08-03-2007, 20:27
Normality is in the eye of the beholder. (Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!). Provided you're not actively considering carrying out these acts, you'll probably be fine.

nope.

I don't think it's normal but I don't think you should have yourself comitted either. Just start talking to a psychiatrist (note: NOT a less-qualified psychologist)

psychiatrists are hard to come by in this country :(
Pure Metal
08-03-2007, 20:31
I have this recurring fantasy of driving a Combine Harvester down the pavement of Oxford Street in London. Makes me giggle like a loon. That will teach the Legions of the Damned to walk so bloody slowly and get in the way! Hehehe :D

lmao! :p

I would def. talk to the doctor that prescribes your meds (if you are on them) sometimes when my dose would be too low I would have scary thoughts like that, mostly about cutting people......when they adjusted my meds though they went away.
ah but i've had these thougths way before i went on my pills



Biting your hand is an interesting choice. I myself prefer stabbing myself in the chest. Not deep, just enough to draw blood.

i've thought about that, and cutting (etc) before, but none of it is immediate enough. biting my hand i can do anywhere, especially at work when i get most stressed/angry :)
Carnivorous Lickers
08-03-2007, 20:39
with the threads on psychology recently (the depression and personality disorder ones), i was driving back from the office tonight and realised something that i don't usually realise i think about... i was having very lucid morbid fantasies. like a daydream, but in it i was killing someone. to be precise, stamping on their face until it was a blooded mess, and kicking. there were other more fantastical elements of this daydream murder, but for the first time i actually stood back from my own thoughts and realised... this is odd. maybe this isn't normal.

and i realised i've been having these kind of fantasies for a long time. about all kinds of different people - some imagined, some real (ie people i knew). usually when i get angry, or am angered by one of those people.

now, i'm usually quite a calm person, and i try to be nice to everybody... but when i get angry something can just snap in me, and i do have to hold myself back from hurting others or myself. i actually bite my hand (very hard) as a way of making the anger go away... if it translates into pain it seems to subside.


anyway, the point is does anybody else have these kinds of thoughts? is this normal or should i go have myself committed? :p



I dont know if its "normal" or not, but who the hell defines normal anyway?

Its good you bring this up as I was talking to someone about this last week.

I find my mind wandering often and its usually appropriate-someone is behaving badly and in my mind's eye, I imagine grabbing them by the throat and shaking them visciously or stomping them into oblivion.
I specualted that maybe these people,when I have to deal with them,subconsiously feel this and deal with me better.

Its usually in some circumstances where I am on line or in some other need of service and observe how the person is deal with the people ahead of me. Acting ignorant,wasting time,denying requests because they can.

but then they get to me and their whole aura changes.

Do they see themselves being rended limb from limb in my eyes ?

I'm famous for a poker face-never revealing shock,surprise or intimidation unintentionally-so I dont know.


So,PM- being aware of these thoughts may be good-you likely wont act on them,but the potential to do so could help you smooth the course of your life.
Catalasia
08-03-2007, 20:40
psychiatrists are hard to come by in this country :(

Psychiatrists are hard to come by anywhere, and usually prohibitively expensive when we do find them. Then people ask why something like 20% of the world's population suffers from depression. :rolleyes:
China Phenomenon
08-03-2007, 20:49
i've thought about that, and cutting (etc) before, but none of it is immediate enough. biting my hand i can do anywhere, especially at work when i get most stressed/angry :)

Yeah, it really depends on your current needs. Anything you can do without tools is good for quick relief. I personally never get angry or stressed like that; I just get nasty depression attacks if I'm alone at home, and have nothing else to think about. Then I can take my time.

I wouldn't recommend cutting, though. It can leave ugly scars, and you wouldn't want others to know about it.
Iztatepopotla
08-03-2007, 20:50
Not abnormal. I even used to be a very angry and violent child, but learned to control myself with time. I still have those fantasies, even imagine myself killing people on the street for no reason at all, just because it'd be neat to crack their heads open.

When I feel really angry I usually play a first person shooter or find some other kind of absorbing activity, even tetris helps. Other people run, play squash or do some other physical stuff.
Myu in the Middle
08-03-2007, 20:52
anyway, the point is does anybody else have these kinds of thoughts? is this normal or should i go have myself committed? :p
I can't speak for anyone else, but while it wasn't anything of that magnitude (mostly cartoonish oversized malletting; anime is great for desensitizing us to comic violence! :D), there was a time when I'd daydream in response to anger or frustration. It's an entirely natural response. We need some way to hide what is socially taken to be an unacceptable personal trait of being annoyed or angry, while at the same time allowing that emotion to resolve itself in some palpable way.

I haven't had it for about 6 years now. I realised that the most effective way for me to deal with negative emotion is to air it immediately to the source of that emotion in a controlled manner rather than try to resolve it internally. People acknowledge your right to be emotional as long as you're not aggressive about it, and if you can master the art of expressing your feelings in an honest and direct way without being deliberately confrontational about it you'll be much more at peace both with yourself and with those around you.
Delator
08-03-2007, 21:47
anyway, the point is does anybody else have these kinds of thoughts? is this normal or should i go have myself committed? :p

I regularly imagine that I have been granted vigilante powers by my city government, and can shoot stupid drivers between the eyes at will.

Usually only happens when I'm stuck behind some 90 year old blue-hair going 20mph in a 45mph zone, but....there you are. :p

I wouldn't bother with a shrink...they'll likely try to make the issue bigger than it is. My guess is stress...try meditating or something.

(My opinion on matters of the sane and rational mind should be subjected to the most extreme of criticisms. :p )
IL Ruffino
08-03-2007, 22:07
Bipolar?
Curious Inquiry
08-03-2007, 22:13
"Whose brain did you give me?"
"Abby something."
"Abby who?"
"Abby Normal."
Pure Metal
08-03-2007, 22:46
yay! good to hear i'm not crazy :)

thanks folks :fluffle:
Snafturi
09-03-2007, 00:21
yay! good to hear i'm not crazy :)

thanks folks :fluffle:

Sanity is fun.
Llewdor
09-03-2007, 00:27
Normalcy is an illusion. You are who you are.
Yossarian Lives
09-03-2007, 01:01
Looking at the notes from this forensic psychology night course I'm doing at the moment, fantasising about violence can mean one of two things.

Either it's a coping mechanism and the dangerous people are those who can't release their anger through fantasies and just attack people. Or in another school of thought fantasising about violence is part of a process leading up to extreme violence, starting with the development of fantasies, then their continuing and becoming increasingly violent until you get a triggering situation, some sort of personal crisis, when you'll snap and kill us all.

So you're either perfectly normal coping well with your angry thoughts or you're a ticking time bomb waitng to explode. One or the other.
East Lithuania
09-03-2007, 01:44
and i realised i've been having these kind of fantasies for a long time. about all kinds of different people - some imagined, some real (ie people i knew). usually when i get angry, or am angered by one of those people.

Imagining those acts due to anger is normal. It's just how it works. I do it, and I'm the nicest guy you could meet.

Thinking about carrying out those acts are different.
If you had a near encounter with it, than you should talk to someone.
Chandelier
09-03-2007, 01:54
with the threads on psychology recently (the depression and personality disorder ones), i was driving back from the office tonight and realised something that i don't usually realise i think about... i was having very lucid morbid fantasies. like a daydream, but in it i was killing someone. to be precise, stamping on their face until it was a blooded mess, and kicking. there were other more fantastical elements of this daydream murder, but for the first time i actually stood back from my own thoughts and realised... this is odd. maybe this isn't normal.

and i realised i've been having these kind of fantasies for a long time. about all kinds of different people - some imagined, some real (ie people i knew). usually when i get angry, or am angered by one of those people.

now, i'm usually quite a calm person, and i try to be nice to everybody... but when i get angry something can just snap in me, and i do have to hold myself back from hurting others or myself. i actually bite my hand (very hard) as a way of making the anger go away... if it translates into pain it seems to subside.


anyway, the point is does anybody else have these kinds of thoughts? is this normal or should i go have myself committed? :p

I've had a lot of day-nightmares lately that are pretty gruesome, except the bad things are usually happening to me, not being done by me. I hate them, they make me feel horrible. I think my imagination is too creative or something.:(