NationStates Jolt Archive


Bomb in the bum ?

Aryavartha
07-03-2007, 23:24
LAX passenger, an Iraqi descendant was found having "objects" in his bum. Says he was trying to ease stress. Ahem...I didn't know you can relieve stress by doing that...:D

I still curse John Reid every time I take off my shoes at the airport. It appears that the day when cavity searches are mandatory is not that far off. This is one weird (wired rather:D ) story.

http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-lax7mar07,1,5620850.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

LAX passenger hides objects in his body; bomb squad called
His plane was diverted but deemed safe. The Iraqi national, a legal U.S. resident, said he was trying to ease stress. He is turned over to ICE.
By Andrew Blankstein
Times Staff Writer

March 7, 2007

Authorities called in the bomb squad early Tuesday and diverted a flight to Las Vegas after Los Angeles International Airport security screeners found hidden wires and other objects in a body cavity of a Philadelphia-bound passenger.

Fadhel Al-Maliki, a 35-year-old Iraqi national living in Atlantic City, N.J., had been flagged by security officials at LAX and was undergoing a secondary "selectee screening" when he set off a metal detector.

Al-Maliki, a former security guard, told screeners that he knew what had triggered the alarm and proceeded to remove items from his rectum, including a rock, chewing gum and thin wire filament.:eek:

Larry Fetters, federal security director at LAX, said at news conference that Transportation Security Administration officers had become alarmed because Al-Maliki was acting strange but initially refused to identify the items he had hidden.:confused: [how hard is it to identify a rock, gum and wire:confused: ]

Concern that the objects might be components for an explosive device led airport authorities to call in the Los Angeles Police Department and FBI bomb technicians as well as a hazardous material team.

A preliminary investigation appeared to rule out a theory that Al-Maliki may have been looking for weaknesses in security or was rehearsing for a terrorist act, federal and local law enforcement authorities said. [Why ? It is fishy that they declared it so quick...]

During questioning, Al-Maliki said the objects in his rectum were used to alleviate stress, federal law enforcement sources said.

The rock, authorities said he told them, was from another planet.:p

As Al-Maliki was being detained, his two bags were loaded on to US Airways Flight 1422, which took off for Philadelphia with 143 passengers and six crew members on board, said Liz Landau, a spokeswoman for the airline.

Federal officials said the bags had been checked for explosives, chemicals and other hazardous materials using the most modern and extensive screening devices available. Even so, they diverted the aircraft to McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas "out of an abundance of caution."

There, passengers were taken off the plane, which was parked away from the terminal.

Passengers had to leave their carry-on bags aboard, and the plane and their luggage were searched, Landau said.

Federal officials also said a search of Al-Maliki's luggage turned up nothing "hazardous or illegal."

"Based on our investigation, there was no threat to Los Angeles International Airport or the airports in Las Vegas or Philadelphia," said Ethel McGuire, the FBI assistant special agent in charge of the Joint Terrorism Task Force.

Airport police briefly blocked access to roads leading to LAX and diverted vehicle traffic. But no other flights were disrupted at the airport, and Terminal 1, the building used by Southwest Airlines and US Airways, remained open.

After several hours of questioning, the FBI determined that Al-Maliki had not committed a crime, but he was turned over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

At Tuesday afternoon's news conference, authorities said that Al-Maliki had been in the United States legally since 1994 but that federal officials were reviewing his immigration status because he may have outdated information on his green card.

Law enforcement sources said Al-Maliki previously served time in jail for criminal trespassing in Atlantic City.

In addition, he was arrested on suspicion of possession of a destructive device, but the sources said charges were dropped; details of the incident were unavailable.

A law enforcement source close to the investigation said Al-Maliki spent only a day in Los Angeles, arriving Monday afternoon after taking a flight from Philadelphia.
Seathornia
07-03-2007, 23:37
LAX passenger, an Iraqi descendant was found having "objects" in his bum. Says he was trying to ease stress. Ahem...I didn't know you can relieve stress by doing that...:D

I am sure that Fass would disagree.

But we shall see.
Relyc
07-03-2007, 23:38
I think he was quite intentionally trying to set off the Alarms, but I cant be sure.
Lacadaemon
07-03-2007, 23:40
He should be shot in the face as a warning to others.
Relyc
07-03-2007, 23:46
I'm sure of it too. And probably trying to see if security would be idiotic enough to believe his "stress relieving" story. You gotta be one hell of a moron to believe that sticking a wire up your ass would relieve stress.

The only question is, what reaction was he trying to produce?
Damaske
07-03-2007, 23:47
I think he was quite intentionally trying to set off the Alarms, but I cant be sure.


I'm sure of it too. And probably trying to see if security would be idiotic enough to believe his "stress relieving" story. You gotta be one hell of a moron to believe that sticking a wire up your ass would relieve stress.
Flatus Minor
07-03-2007, 23:50
"Relief of stress"? That's not very creative. The least he could have said was that he was going to a Paper, Rock and Scissors convention.
Andaluciae
07-03-2007, 23:52
Perhaps he's just totally insane?
Hamturwinske
08-03-2007, 00:12
Perhaps he's just totally insane?

Well, explosives or not, I think that kind of goes without saying. :eek:
Brutland and Norden
08-03-2007, 06:34
Rock, gum, wire??? Gum as in chewing gum? *pukes* Ew. Why keep a gum in your *pukes again*, you can't eat it anymore!

... and it all fit inside his rectum?
Vetalia
08-03-2007, 06:37
Well, explosives or not, I think that kind of goes without saying. :eek:

Yeah, generally sticking "extraterrestrial" rocks up your ass is a sign that something isn't quite right...I mean, there are a lot safer and cleaner forms of stimulation than that.
The Brevious
08-03-2007, 06:39
He should be shot in the face as a warning to others.

Perhaps he's angling for it bukkake style or something.

Or maybe he was inspired by "Jackass"?

Was the wire wrapped around the rock (from another planet - Eros)?
Who knows, maybe it was a MacGyver attempt at a homemade vibrator of sorts, with the gum as soft insulation.
Andaras Prime
08-03-2007, 06:44
Bush holds press conference: Mission accomplished America! We got him!
South Lizasauria
08-03-2007, 06:44
LAX passenger, an Iraqi descendant was found having "objects" in his bum. Says he was trying to ease stress. Ahem...I didn't know you can relieve stress by doing that...:D

I still curse John Reid every time I take off my shoes at the airport. It appears that the day when cavity searches are mandatory is not that far off. This is one weird (wired rather:D ) story.

http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-lax7mar07,1,5620850.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

Ewwww... that....Jihadist pervert....:eek:
Neo Undelia
08-03-2007, 06:49
Crazies come from all races, nations and creeds.

Also, eww.
The Brevious
08-03-2007, 07:03
Bush holds press conference: Mission accomplished America! We got him!
Followed immediately by the pardon, since Bush did something similar with some buddies in his coke-snortin', rip-roarin', bottle-drainin' frat days.
The Scandinvans
08-03-2007, 07:24
Was the wire wrapped around the rock (from another planet - Eros)Stone age interstellar aliens?:confused:
The Brevious
08-03-2007, 07:36
Stone age interstellar aliens?:confused:

Yeah, you know .... remember The X-Files: Fight The Future (the movie)?

Mulder: "They're here, aren't they?"
Deep Throat (not Mark Foley): "Mr. Mulder, they've been here for a long, long time."
The Scandinvans
08-03-2007, 07:43
Yeah, you know .... remember The X-Files: Fight The Future (the movie)?Yes, they have been here since Homo Erectus got the Erectus in their name and now they want to get revenge for those times.
The Brevious
08-03-2007, 07:45
Yes, they have been here since Homo Erectus got the Erectus in their name and now they want to get revenge for those times.

Don't worry ... we're well on our way to a quick climax as a species, and we'll summarily evolve into Homo Flaccidus.

Much to the chagrin and disappointment of our masters, typically.
The Scandinvans
08-03-2007, 07:57
Don't worry ... we're well on our way to a quick climax as a species, and we'll summarily evolve into Homo Flaccidus.

Much to the chagrin and disappointment of our masters, typically.They shall learn their place.

Now go my army of Giant Killer Monkeys.

"Gaint Killer Monkeys invade thread"
The Brevious
08-03-2007, 08:54
Are they gone yet?

Wait ... were they yelling "Mom!"?
Lunatic Goofballs
08-03-2007, 10:05
Extraterrestrial butt rock, wire filament and chewing gum.

Not the three items, I would choose, but.... to each their own.

Which brings up the question:

If you HAD to smuggle three objects in your butt, what would you choose?
Chumblywumbly
08-03-2007, 10:14
If you HAD to smuggle three objects in your butt, what would you choose?
Three atoms.

Small atoms.
Todsboro
08-03-2007, 10:43
This was, IMHO, an obvious probe to test the current state of our security.

That would make it an 'Anal Probe'.

sorry...couldn't resist...
Flatus Minor
08-03-2007, 12:26
If you HAD to smuggle three objects in your butt, what would you choose?

A smaller version of these (http://www.shavenwookie.com/zoo/sarlacc.jpg) might be useful to deter body cavity searchers.. :D
Newish Zealand
08-03-2007, 12:32
It might not such a bad thing that cavity searches aren't far away. Depends whether there are hot twenty year old policewomen present or not tho.
Tsynaches
08-03-2007, 12:50
You know... It seams that he probably did it as a 'hard core Dare game' or a Jackass stunt.

I have no idea what he is trying to create. (maybe he likes cavity searches and wants everybody to have them)

Hopefully Airport Security will not be more screwed up into having us all wear something stupid like hospital patient clothes.
Ifreann
08-03-2007, 13:15
Extraterrestrial butt rock, wire filament and chewing gum.

Not the three items, I would choose, but.... to each their own.

Which brings up the question:

If you HAD to smuggle three objects in your butt, what would you choose?

Human feces. Wouldn't raise any suspicions.
Nobel Hobos
08-03-2007, 13:27
"Relief of stress"? That's not very creative. The least he could have said was that he was going to a Paper, Rock and Scissors convention.

You're the funniest fart I've heard in a long time! Congrats! :D

My theory: he wanted to watch a customs officer with poo all over their rubber gloves scratch their nose when he started telling porkies.
Nobel Hobos
08-03-2007, 13:34
You know... It seams that he probably did it as a 'hard core Dare game' or a Jackass stunt ...

:D
"And what did you do to earn your place in Paradise?"
"I Jackassed an US Airways flight! Allah akbah!"
Lacadaemon
08-03-2007, 13:40
:D
"And what did you do to earn your place in Paradise?"
"I Jackassed an US Airways flight! Allah akbah!"

It's only funny because you don't have to fly on a regular basis. I have no doubt that if someone shitted up your commute you'd be the first to complain.
Nobel Hobos
08-03-2007, 13:45
It's only funny because you don't have to fly on a regular basis. I have no doubt that if someone shitted up your commute you'd be the first to complain.

Yeah, a sense of humour's a funny thing, isn't it?
The Brevious
09-03-2007, 08:03
If you HAD to smuggle three objects in your butt, what would you choose?

http://www.marineprotectedarea.com.vu/_images/crab2.jpg

http://www.newscientist.com/blog/shortsharpscience/2006/03/hairy-lobster_08.html

http://www.joe-mammy.com/pages/features/kari-byron/baloons-lrg.jpg

..resulting consequently, in this, in all likelihood:

http://www.akhtarnama.com/images/Orion%20Nebula%20by%20CCD.jpg

...leading to this:

http://www.zombiereagan.com/street/portrait.jpg