NationStates Jolt Archive

Invent a new product!

Well, since the recent demise of Hufu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu), There is an open niche in the market.

What is Hufu? Watch this: http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/media_player/play.jhtml?itemId=24513

So if I'm going to invent a new human flesh alternative, what do I call it? Hufu is taken(and a pretty crappy name anyway). Soylent Green is taken.

Ah! I got it! I'll call it; I Can't Believe It's Not Human!

I'm a marketing genius! :D

So, what is your new product?

So, what is your new product?

A PolBS filter: Able to filter out any bullshit coming out of a politician's mouth, leaving only the truth within.

A PolBS filter: Able to filter out any bullshit coming out of a politician's mouth, leaving only the truth within.

Wouldn't a gag do the same thing? :D

Wouldn't a gag do the same thing? :D

A new generation seem to have evolved immunity, though they may deny the process occurred.

Not telling...

They're MY ideas. MINE!!

*storms out with ideas*

Not telling...

They're MY ideas. MINE!!

*storms out with ideas*
I'm going to invent a machine that steals Mikesburg's ideas while he sleeps and then puts them up on the sides of a fleet of blimps.

I'm going to invent a machine that steals Mikesburg's ideas while he sleeps and then puts them up on the sides of a fleet of blimps.

Good idea. :)

A makeup shotgun, for all the girls at work/school bitching about how long their mornings are compared to us men.

Why would you want to put a picture of a hand-crank toaster on the side of a blimp?

Wait... said too much...

Mmm... toasted hand cranks...

Why would you want to put a picture of a hand-crank toaster on the side of a blimp?

Wait... said too much...
*patents*

*realizes morale opposition to the concept of intellectual property*

*blames Ruffi*

I'm going to invent a machine that steals Mikesburg's ideas while he sleeps and then puts them up on the sides of a fleet of blimps.

Why would you want to put a picture of a hand-crank toaster on the side of a blimp?

Wait... said too much...

I came up with Writer's Block Buster.

It says something really bizarrely funny so you can write about somehting.

:D

A PolBS filter: Able to filter out any bullshit coming out of a politician's mouth, leaving only the truth within.

If you filtered out any bullshit coming out of a politician's mouth, they'd have nothing to say! :p

If you filtered out any bullshit coming out of a politician's mouth, they'd have nothing to say! :p

They'd become mimes! :eek:

They'd become mimes! :eek:You're worried about having to kick the evil clowns outta your union?

A machine that harnesses the power of NSG timewarps to store and use whenever needed in the real world. First application. Lottery tickets :p

I want an umbrella made out of that "memory metal" they use for spectacle frames and kevlar - so the damn thing always goes back to the right shape when it is windy and it doesn't rip.

A device that finds car-keys. You attach a little device imbedded on a keyring to the keys, and the car-key-finder detects it.

Failing that, a solar powered torch.

I want a machine that will simultaneously peel, core, and slice whatever piece of fruit you put into it, and then fire it out at high velocity, ensuring you can get your daily vitamins quickly.

A device that finds car-keys. You attach a little device imbedded on a keyring to the keys, and the car-key-finder detects it.

Failing that, a solar powered torch.

I'm very confident that both of those items exist in some form.



I'm gonna invent a machine that spits out ideas for inventions. :p

I want a machine that will simultaneously peel, core, and slice whatever piece of fruit you put into it, and then fire it out at high velocity, ensuring you can get your daily vitamins quickly.

Quickly in a "in your face" fashion?

cigarettes that light themselves (when you need them too). that way people won't have to to ask for lighters.

I've invented the Taco Mudifier, aptly nicknamed, the LG.

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a192/piggy_g87/Tacomudifier.jpg

Here is how it works:
1)Insert mud
2) Insert tacos
3)Tacos and mud mix
4) mixture goes through tube
5)falls into catapult

and then you shoot it into your mouth...or you can add rocks and glass and shoot it at opposing forces -nods-

Invent a new product!

Well, since the recent demise of Hufu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu), There is an open niche in the market.

What is Hufu? Watch this: http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/media_player/play.jhtml?itemId=24513

So if I'm going to invent a new human flesh alternative, what do I call it? Hufu is taken(and a pretty crappy name anyway). Soylent Green is taken.

Ah! I got it! I'll call it; I Can't Believe It's Not Human!

I'm a marketing genius! :D

So, what is your new product?

A vacuum cleaner that you can wear on your back (doesn't have to be too large), complete with odor filter.

Insert the hose in your ass, and you can walk and shit at the same time, without the inconvenience of visiting the restroom.

A vacuum cleaner that you can wear on your back (doesn't have to be too large), complete with odor filter.

Insert the hose in your ass, and you can walk and shit at the same time, without the inconvenience of visiting the restroom.

I don't like the whole sodomizing idea behind it. -shudders-

I don't like the whole sodomizing idea behind it. -shudders-

Someone will.

Invent a new product!

Well, since the recent demise of Hufu (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufu), There is an open niche in the market.

What is Hufu? Watch this: http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/media_player/play.jhtml?itemId=24513

So if I'm going to invent a new human flesh alternative, what do I call it? Hufu is taken(and a pretty crappy name anyway). Soylent Green is taken.

Ah! I got it! I'll call it; I Can't Believe It's Not Human!

I'm a marketing genius! :D

So, what is your new product?

A portable swordsmith. Just program it, and it will make you a new sword.

I have a snack invention. Imagine a sealed plastic bag - not unlike a bag of milk, but smaller... say half that size. The interior of the bag is divided into two chambers by a thin filmy plastic membrane. On the exterior of the plastic bag there is a stubby, wide screwcap nozzle. In chamber # 1, we have milk. In chamber # 2 we have cookie crumble.

You squeeze the bag to break the inner wall. Then you unscrew the nozzle and squeeze the contents into your mouth. I want to call it "Milk'n'Cookies". The opportunities lie in branding the snack - Oreo Milk'n'Cookies, Fudge-eeo Milk'n'Cookies, etc. - not to mention the chocolate milk variants, as well.

If it could be made in such a way as to not require refrigeration (irradiated milk?), it would be ideal for long drives. The packaging would make it difficult to spill inside a moving car.

Ha. I scoff at all your common inventions.

You shall all marvel at the... um... marvel of Mikesburg, when the 3-person teeter-totter hits playgrounds! No longer shall we be constricted to the conventional 2-person teeter-totter, no!

(Don't even think of trying to upstage me with a 4-person variant... that would just be silly.)

Ha. I scoff at all your common inventions.

You shall all marvel at the... um... marvel of Mikesburg, when the 3-person teeter-totter hits playgrounds! No longer shall we be constricted to the conventional 2-person teeter-totter, no!:p

I'll believe it when I see it. Literally.

*leans back with arms folded and waits*

I'm going to invent an ice-cube that catches on fire.

Oooohhhh....

*Immediately thinks of applications for mixed drinks*

Here's a semi-serious one I thought of but am sure there is something that I don't understand that makes it not work-

In areas that freeze over the pipes would be extra large and have a expandable membrane inside of it. When the pipes would freeze the membrane would expand to the size of the pipe instead of bursting. I guess the membrane would have to be made of something that would remain flexible while freezing.

:p

I'll believe it when I see it. Literally.

*leans back with arms folded and waits*

Oh the Triple-Totter will be on the market soonish.... I just need some materials... and some skill with assembling materials... and perhaps some money. Then behold!

I'm going to invent an ice-cube that catches on fire.

O...MY (http://www.rapestop.net/index.asp)

What a convincing title: RapeX

Here's a semi-serious one I thought of but am sure there is something that I don't understand that makes it not work-

In areas that freeze over the pipes would be extra large and have a expandable membrane inside of it. When the pipes would freeze the membrane would expand to the size of the pipe instead of bursting. I guess the membrane would have to be made of something that would remain flexible while freezing.Sounds reasonable to me. But do modern plastic pipes even still burst? Maybe they're flexible enough in and of themselves (I mean, we're not talking a huge amount of volume increase here) and it's only the old metal ones that burst? Of course I don't know what I'm talking about, so eh, nevermind me.

Oh the Triple-Totter will be on the market soonish.... I just need some materials... and some skill with assembling materials... and perhaps some money. Then behold!*throws you a dollar and an assistant*

Now hop to it!

Robotic stripper slot machines.

Robotic stripper slot machines.

"I'm going to open my own amusement park with hookers and blackjack! You know what forget the amusement park... and forget the blackjack!" -Bender