NationStates Jolt Archive

Does anyone know why dolphins seem to like humans. In fact, some of them like humans a little too much.

http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphinrape.html


Do they think we're land dolphins or something?

Our clever, ocean dwelling friends are fuck fiends, it would seem.

Perhaps their sex radar was out of tuna.

Kind of puts a whole new spin on those old 'Flipper' episodes, eh? :p

Maybe they are trying to just tell us to stop dumping crap in our oceans?

Maybe they find us as entertaining as we find them.

Does anyone know why dolphins seem to like humans. In fact, some of them like humans a little too much.


Well, apparently dolphins are the only other species to have sex for enjoyment and maybe humans just need to learn the dolphin gesture/noise for "No, thanks".

As for actual friendliness, I think some animals are just more inclined to altruistic behaviour. Elephants and apes too.

Well, apparently dolphins are the only other species to have sex for enjoyment and maybe humans just need to learn the dolphin gesture/noise for "No, thanks".

I think it involves a tuna net and a harpoon.

If they're sentient, they pity our industrial lifestyle of being corporate slaves.

If they're not, they're kind.

Does anyone know why dolphins seem to like humans. In fact, some of them like humans a little too much.
I wonder if dolphins can be scared off by slathering yourself in pork fat . . .

I wonder if dolphins can be scared off by slathering yourself in pork fat . . .

I don't know. That might only work on African bat demons.

I think it involves a tuna net and a harpoon.

I'm pretty sure dolphins can't use those. A headbutt would be more likely.

Best story ever.

Dolphin pimps maybe?

The ones in those geeky sweaters probably won't get any...

The ones in those geeky sweaters probably won't get any...
Isn't it great how all DCD news-posts can be so neatly tied together? It's like watching Babel, only with cultural relevance and better editing.

Isn't it great how all DCD news-posts can be so neatly tied together? It's like watching Babel, only with cultural relevance and better editing.

YAY! :D

Considering that they ejaculate at a force hard enough to injure (I've heard it compared to a shotgun blast), it's a good idea not to take them up on their offers.
...that sounds like one hell of an orgasm...

Does anyone know why dolphins seem to like humans. In fact, some of them like humans a little too much.

http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphinrape.html


Do they think we're land dolphins or something?


Usually he just swam around quietly, but every now and then he went into a sexual frenzy and tried to rape an air matrass.

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jaap/flipper.htm

We humans shouldnt feel too special.

Dolphins are very sexual and are one of the creatures that have sex just for fun. In fact they have sex with many others even orgies at times.

That can't be serious, but the first thing I thought of was this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG6b3V2MNxQ).

YAY! :D
I wonder, has anyone considered the possibility that being exposed to too much human porno has made the dolphins overtly curious about human sexuality?
Brent Ward did, and, noticing the rise in dolphin attacks as far back as the 80's, he has been pressing to clamp down on the US porn industry in order to prevent the ultimate ecological disaster: An unstoppable force of dolphins that would rape its way across the globe.
Regretfully, he first had to survive for 20 years as a peasant in the third world, only escaping when he stole God's check book and cleared out his bank account to buy a road system and local school.
Is it too late for the dolphins to be stopped? Will tommorow's news be good or bad? Find out next time, on: A Series of Probably Unconnected Events.

That can't be serious, but the first thing I thought of was this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG6b3V2MNxQ).

The one good part about that movie it was, other than Mos Def...shame it was at the beginning and made it seem like the whole movie would be that good.

It might only the beginning you know. Soon we could be facing this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFx9v6DE238). :eek:

Perhaps their sex radar was out of tuna.

Nice.

I remember a King of the Hill episode where a dolphin gets a little too 'close' to Hank.

My God! Gay dolphins! What has this world come to? I say we move to stamp out this homosexual act among dolphins! I mean, think of the children!

Well, apparently dolphins are the only other species to have sex for enjoyment and maybe humans just need to learn the dolphin gesture/noise for "No, thanks".

Both species of chimpanzees do as well, particularly bonobos. Bonobos fuck as a way of saying "Hello", even.

In fact, some of them like humans a little too much.

Just a quickie before they go? They really want to thank us for all the fish...

All I know is that they taste good in a sandwich.:D

Both species of chimpanzees do as well, particularly bonobos. Bonobos fuck as a way of saying "Hello", even.

Genetic engineering nightmare: Bonobo-dolphin cross

Well, apparently dolphins are the only other species to have sex for enjoyment

No they aren't. It's quite common behaviour in a lot of mammals.

Possibly some dolphins have a fetish for humans - "Hey, get a load of the opposable thumbs on that," or "Wow, nice non-prehensile feet!"

You know, sexual relations with dolphins do not always have to be classified as "rape". They can be *ulp* consensual.

EDIT: Since I highly doubt this article will be acceptable under the Jolt TOS, I will not link to it directly. However, if you really want to see it, you can do a Google search for "Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn". Result #4.

Weirdest. Shite. Evar.

You know, sexual relations with dolphins do not always have to be classified as "rape". They can be *ulp* consensual.

EDIT: Since I highly doubt this article will be acceptable under the Jolt TOS, I will not link to it directly. However, if you really want to see it, you can do a Google search for "Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn". Result #4.

Weirdest. Shite. Evar.

*refuses to do the search*

*is too freaked out*

:p

You know, sexual relations with dolphins do not always have to be classified as "rape". They can be *ulp* consensual.

EDIT: Since I highly doubt this article will be acceptable under the Jolt TOS, I will not link to it directly. However, if you really want to see it, you can do a Google search for "Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn". Result #4.

Weirdest. Shite. Evar.

I remember once upon a time someone once posted a zoophiles website, which included advice about how to tell male dolphins from female dolphins, how to tell if they're aroused and tales of him going to the beach at night for some hot dolphin action. It was naaaaasty.

It's actually fairly well documented that young male dolphins are quite often, um, friendly towards female dolphin researchers. And human nature being what it is, I'd be surprised if there weren't at least a couple of those dolphin researchers who have tried it out, just to see what it's like.

Interspecies sex isn't all that uncommon, apparantly. Jane Goodall rather extensively described an attempted mating between a young male chimp and and a young female baboon. And where do you think mules, a horse/donkey hybrid, come from?

I wonder if dolphins can be scared off by slathering yourself in pork fat . . .

Hmm, swimming in the ocean, slathered in pork fat.

No thanks, I don't want to run into a certain type of fish (with a dorsal fin and several rows of really sharp teeth) while in the ocean, and being covered in pork fat is a pretty good way to ensure you will (you'd basically become a living, breathing, chum basket).

Hmm, swimming in the ocean, slathered in pork fat.

No thanks, I don't want to run into a certain type of fish (with a dorsal fin and several rows of really sharp teeth) while in the ocean, and being covered in pork fat is a pretty good way to ensure you will (you'd basically become a living, breathing, chum basket).

Well sharks have a great nose for blood, but would they be as fond of fat?

It's actually fairly well documented that young male dolphins are quite often, um, friendly towards female dolphin researchers. And human nature being what it is, I'd be surprised if there weren't at least a couple of those dolphin researchers who have tried it out, just to see what it's like.

Interspecies sex isn't all that uncommon, apparantly. Jane Goodall rather extensively described an attempted mating between a young male chimp and and a young female baboon. And where do you think mules, a horse/donkey hybrid, come from?

Ligers and Tigons pwn Mules and Jennys.

Genetic engineering nightmare: Bonobo-dolphin cross

A hairy dolphin that flings poo?

Well sharks have a great nose for blood, but would they be as fond of fat?

Yep. Part of the reason chum works so well for sharks is the oils and fats that fish have.

Yep. Part of the reason chum works so well for sharks is the oils and fats that fish have.

I just figured it was the blood.

I remember once upon a time someone once posted a zoophiles website, which included advice about how to tell male dolphins from female dolphins, how to tell if they're aroused and tales of him going to the beach at night for some hot dolphin action. It was naaaaasty.
Yep, that was the one. The only thing that gives me solace is the rumor that the article was written as a joke by a member of the superdickery.com forums. Although, one wonders how someone could right such a detailed "how-to" without... "personal experience".

Yep, that was the one. The only thing that gives me solace is the rumor that the article was written as a joke by a member of the superdickery.com forums. Although, one wonders how someone could right such a detailed "how-to" without... "personal experience".

Maybe it was a marine biologist who knew some of these things.

I have been swimmed for hours with dolphins that are actually pretty friendly, and hardly rapists. Even if they were trying to hit on me, they were trying to do it in a pleasant and gentle way, at least a lot more than the usual human male specimen.

Once a young dolphin tried to nibble a bit on my breasts, but I think it was more related to a mother-son affection than anything else.

Uhm, but most of those reported cases of attempted rape involve human males and not females...Perhaps, as human male rapists, those dolphins used rape attempts as a way to show superiority and power?

As a way to say "Who's in charge now, eh, you fisherman?, I want to hear you moaning, big harpoon net guy, you bitch"

Dolphins are scary.....

I have been swimmed for hours with dolphins that are actually pretty friendly, and hardly rapists. Even if they were trying to hit on me, they were trying to do it in a pleasant and gentle way, at least a lot more than the usual human male specimen.

Once a young dolphin tried to nibble a bit on my breasts, but I think it was more related to a mother-son affection than anything else.

Uhm, but most of those reported cases of attempted rape involve human males and not females...Perhaps, as human male rapists, those dolphins used rape attempts as a way to show superiority and power?

As a way to say "Who's in charge now, eh, you fisherman?, I want to hear you moaning, big harpoon net guy, you bitch"

Dolphins are scary.....

No, they aren't.

Actually, if I could live underwater, I would move with the dolphins right now, find a dolphin hubby, and have kids.

It's better than living in these stinking cities.

No, they aren't.

Actually, if I could live underwater, I would move with the dolphins right now, find a dolphin hubby, and have kids.

It's better than living in these stinking cities.

Kinky.

No, they aren't.

Actually, if I could live underwater, I would move with the dolphins right now, find a dolphin hubby, and have kids.

It's better than living in these stinking cities.

You'd have little thalidomide flipper babies.

You'd have little thalidomide flipper babies.

Well, after all I am barren to procreate normal human babies, so thalidomide flipper babies would be most welcome.

After all, humans babies are not as half as cute as dolphin babies.

Oh boy, all the porn options opened by this incident.

Well, my motto's always been dolphins can suck it.

Well, apparently dolphins are the only other species to have sex for enjoyment and maybe humans just need to learn the dolphin gesture/noise for "No, thanks".

As for actual friendliness, I think some animals are just more inclined to altruistic behaviour. Elephants and apes too.
Indeed.

You know, sexual relations with dolphins do not always have to be classified as "rape". They can be *ulp* consensual.

EDIT: Since I highly doubt this article will be acceptable under the Jolt TOS, I will not link to it directly. However, if you really want to see it, you can do a Google search for "Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn". Result #4.

Weirdest. Shite. Evar.

For the record, the girl behind the "Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn" persona is kidding around.

For the record, the girl behind the "Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn" persona is kidding around.
But again, that only makes me wonder what kind of person would be both willing and able to fabricate highly detailed dolphin porn...

What's worse? The real thing? Or someone strange enough to want to make it up?

But again, that only makes me wonder what kind of person would be both willing and able to fabricate highly detailed dolphin porn...

What's worse? The real thing? Or someone strange enough to want to make it up?

Welcome to the internet. I'd like to introduce you to Rule number 34.
http://instant-thinking.de/files/rule-34.jpg

When we swam with dolphins in the Bahamas, the lady guide told us to be careful how we touched the dolphin, not to be too familiar, she said it is like when you meet someone for the first time, you don't generally touch their genitals...she also gave us a final warning "don't start anything with the dolphin that you won't want to finish, because he might not want to stop"

I think that makes it pretty clear....

Welcome to the internet. I'd like to introduce you to Rule number 34.
http://instant-thinking.de/files/rule-34.jpg

yes indeed

Now I am caught in this horrible 'dolphin sex' thing...i followed the link to the dragon wolf guy and now I am scared...

because humans are idiots who project their fantasies onto other life forms.

of course maybe the way we smell when we get wet is the way their mothers smelled or something.

=^^=
.../\...

SEE! It's happening to us all!

I am going to have to go and get dressed now, it's way to disturbing to have no underwear on and read this stuff...

It's pretty disturbing reading this stuff fully dressed too.

Now I am caught in this horrible 'dolphin sex' thing...i followed the link to the dragon wolf guy and now I am scared...
As well you should be
because humans are idiots who project their fantasies onto other life forms.

of course maybe the way we smell when we get wet is the way their mothers smelled or something.

=^^=
.../\...

Oedipal Dolpins? Freud would approve.

SEE! It's happening to us all!

I am going to have to go and get dressed now, it's way to disturbing to have no underwear on and read this stuff...

lol love is love

lol love is love

The dolphin doesn't love you, he's just using you for sex.

But again, that only makes me wonder what kind of person would be both willing and able to fabricate highly detailed dolphin porn...

Someone with a sense of humor and a lot of time on her hands.

I find nothing wrong with consensual sex between sentient beings, just look at star trek its never wrong when some human wants to get jiggy with some hot alien babe/guy, so why should we be weirded out by some guy who says he likes dolphins and actively participates in such acts with them, with thier apparent consent.

All I can imagine is a 'dolphin shotgun' going off in some fisherman. :eek: