NationStates Jolt Archive

A bunch of knitting enthusiasts are knitting sweaters for dolphins who will guard a trident submarine base in Washington state. Now, I'm no expert, but I don't think sweaters really help when they're soaked, and they might even weigh down the dolphins and make it harder to swim. Maybe it's a plot by terrorist housewives and grandmothers to compromise the defenses around our cold-water naval bases.

http://www.wftv.com/family/11146356/detail.html

I'm far more disturbed by the little figures of Washington and Lincoln doing the soft-shoe in the mortgage ad at the top of that page.

I can't help but think of Red Alert 2.

I honestly can't believe we're using dolphins to patrol military installations. That's seventeen different ways to amazing.

And they call ME crazy! :rolleyes:

I'd at least give them electric warming socks. :D

I used to live near Bremerton. It's just the meth talking, that's all.

And they call ME crazy! :rolleyes:

I'd at least give them electric warming socks. :D

I believe we have our second NSG Charity drive!

Electric Warming Socks for US Navy Dolphins!

A bunch of knitting enthusiasts are knitting sweaters for dolphins who will guard a trident submarine base in Washington state. Now, I'm no expert, but I don't think sweaters really help when they're soaked, and they might even weigh down the dolphins and make it harder to swim. Maybe it's a plot by terrorist housewives and grandmothers to compromise the defenses around our cold-water naval bases.

http://www.wftv.com/family/11146356/detail.html
Whoa, the grip your summaries have on what the articles actually say gets more tenuous by the day. o.O

Article made me chuckle.

A really tight knit can trap a layer of water around your body helping with the insulation. Even then, not all that good though.

A really tight knit can trap a layer of water around your body helping with the insulation. Even then, not all that good though.

Essentially what a wetsuit for surfers does. Though I must doubt the ability of knitting to gain watertight capacity.

Essentially what a wetsuit for surfers does. Though I must doubt the ability of knitting to gain watertight capacity.

Yah. Pretty much, though considerably less effective.

Good.

Now we only need to glue lasers to their heads, and we will have a dolphin army.

Good.

Now we only need to glue lasers to their heads, and we will have a dolphin army.

A dolphin navy would work out better, I think. Although dolphin airborne troops would be neat until in mid air someone figures out their flippers aren't really all that good at pulling the ripcord on the 'chutes.

http://www.newciv.org/pic/nl/artpic/144/47/Military%20Dolphin.jpg

http://www.newciv.org/pic/nl/artpic/144/47/Military%20Dolphin.jpg

"So long, and thanks for all the fish."

DCD, you should be a part of the Daily Show or something. The amount of fucked up stories you find is just fascinating. The world should have the pleasure of watching you prove human stupidity.

I honestly can't believe we're using dolphins to patrol military installations. That's seventeen different ways to amazing.

They're very effective at finding underwater intruders, and quite easily trained because of their intelligence.

So, why not?

They're very effective at finding underwater intruders, and quite easily trained because of their intelligence.

So, why not?

And once they find intruders, they rape them :D

Nothing can put someone off more than the threat of being raped by a dolphin

(just thought I tie this tread in with the other one ;) )

And once they find intruders, they rape them :D

Nothing can put someone off more than the threat of being raped by a dolphin

(just thought I tie this tread in with the other one ;) )

Poor Ivan.

Wasn't there a dolphin unit in one of the Red Alert games? It was a counter-sub unit or something.

Wasn't there a dolphin unit in one of the Red Alert games? It was a counter-sub unit or something.

Red Alert 2, they had a collar and attacked using echo waves (or something similar).

A wool sweater maintains something like 90% of its effectiveness when wet. That's why you see seamen wearing them in period films.