NationStates Jolt Archive


Church collection plates must be a little light.

Drunk commies deleted
01-03-2007, 16:51
God has been accused of passing $50,000 worth of bad checks. One of his faithful servants went to cash the checks and ended up getting arrested. Anyway, next time you're in church, please contribute a little extra. It seems god needs the cash.

http://nwitimes.com/articles/2007/02/28/news/top_news/docb86cbdc172a17743862572900000d4c1.txt
Exomnia
01-03-2007, 17:18
Why would God need to pass a bad check; I hear he uses cash.
Gauthier
01-03-2007, 18:06
If God doesn't get the $50,000 does that mean He's going call Himself Home?
Neesika
01-03-2007, 18:09
God has been accused of passing $50,000 worth of bad checks. One of his faithful servants went to cash the checks and ended up getting arrested. Anyway, next time you're in church, please contribute a little extra. It seems god needs the cash.

http://nwitimes.com/articles/2007/02/28/news/top_news/docb86cbdc172a17743862572900000d4c1.txt

Well, how many dioceses have gone bankrupt lately after dealing with molestation charges? God needs the money for court cases.
Vetalia
01-03-2007, 18:13
If God doesn't get the $50,000 does that mean He's going call Himself Home?

Or another question: Does this mean that Oral Roberts becomes God?
Vetalia
01-03-2007, 18:15
I always figured God would be modest with his checks, signing them "G" or something like that, not " "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant."

That's just a hassle to write.
JuNii
01-03-2007, 18:24
should've been arrested for forgery. Everyone knows his name is Bob!
Sumamba Buwhan
01-03-2007, 19:35
time to confiscate Heaven
Soluis
01-03-2007, 20:16
Well, how many dioceses have gone bankrupt lately after dealing with molestation charges? God needs the money for court cases. I thought He used lightning in situations like that, no?
Kyronea
01-03-2007, 22:30
I thought He used lightning in situations like that, no?

That's Zeus. The Christian God turns them into pillars of salt.
Fleckenstein
01-03-2007, 22:37
I would have went with the G-Man.
Hamturwinske
02-03-2007, 22:11
:eek: Mother of God...I can't believe he thought that would work.
Anti-Social Darwinism
02-03-2007, 22:15
God has been accused of passing $50,000 worth of bad checks. One of his faithful servants went to cash the checks and ended up getting arrested. Anyway, next time you're in church, please contribute a little extra. It seems god needs the cash.

http://nwitimes.com/articles/2007/02/28/news/top_news/docb86cbdc172a17743862572900000d4c1.txt

In order to do that, I would actually have to go into a church. *shudders*
Ifreann
02-03-2007, 22:20
Send in the IRS! Audit that deity!
Rainbowwws
02-03-2007, 22:22
I like the idea of an infinty dollar bill like in someones sig. My bf gave me an infinity dollar bill for Valentines Day. I really like the idea of infinitey dollars.
Cannot think of a name
02-03-2007, 22:27
I want to know what he threatened them with...
The Literate Elite
02-03-2007, 22:27
:eek: Mother of God...I can't believe he thought that would work.
Neither can I, really. Did he think that the bank tellers were really that stupid?
Utracia
02-03-2007, 22:27
I want to know what he threatened them with...

Eternal damnation?