NationStates Jolt Archive

Death in inevitable. Humans all know this fact, yet dealing with it never becomes any easier.

Sadly, this has becoming increasingly appearent this past week. I was home this last weekend for my roommates grandmothers funeral, and heard that there was a fire in a building that housed several BU students off campus. Reports came in that two people died, one was badly injured.

Today, when I got back to Boston, I found out that one person who died was a friend of mine, in addition to being close with many of my friends (including my good friends best friend). (Link to the article about the fire) (http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/02/25/2_bu_students_killed_in_blaze/?page=2)

I won't lie, I'm still quite a bit in shock about it, and don't really believe that it happened.

I would assume that the people on NSG have all dealt with their share of loss...so how do you handle it? Close off? Play music? Go out with some mutual friends and play a few rounds of "Remember when?"?



May angels lead you in:(

I think about mortality a lot, usually to deal with it I just think of all the things worse than death, and think of the possibility of a better existence after death.

Death in inevitable. Humans all know this fact, yet dealing with it never becomes any easier.

Sadly, this has becoming increasingly appearent this past week. I was home this last weekend for my roommates grandmothers funeral, and heard that there was a fire in a building that housed several BU students off campus. Reports came in that two people died, one was badly injured.

Today, when I got back to Boston, I found out that one person who died was a friend of mine, in addition to being close with many of my friends (including my good friends best friend). (Link to the article about the fire) (http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/02/25/2_bu_students_killed_in_blaze/?page=2)

I won't lie, I'm still quite a bit in shock about it, and don't really believe that it happened.

I would assume that the people on NSG have all dealt with their share of loss...so how do you handle it? Close off? Play music? Go out with some mutual friends and play a few rounds of "Remember when?"?



May angels lead you in:(

My grandfather died near the summer of 2003. He had been bed-ridden from Parkinson's and a screw-up at the hospital on a previous Parkinson's-related injury, and he ... just went. Peacefully, in the night. My cousin and my dad came to pick me up from school that day. I cried for a good long while, and then I accepted it. He's not in constant pain anymore, and that's all that really matters, and I believe that wherever he is now, he's happy.

This year I lost a friend who was a classmate. Tuesday in class she was happy and normal, Tuesday night she was gone. When I found out in school the next, my heart wouldn't slow down. I wasn't feeling good the rest of the day. But after that I was just surprised.

Death doesn't upset me much anymore.

First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss. That's harsh.

I haven't lost many people, knock wood, though my brother-in-law is in serious cancer treatment right now and it's not looking good, but when I have, my inclination is to go against my normal habits and go out, be among people, experience life. Normally, I'm content to stay at home most of the time, enjoy my space, but that changes with loss for me. I want to go out, hear talking, smell cigarettes and sweat, taste the air, remember that life is good, and remember the good my friend or family member did.

I've long been a fan of the jazz funeral--mourn your way to the graveyard, then dance and sing all the back, and celebrate the good in the world, because this is the only life we're guaranteed, and damn it, we better have some fun with it.

I would probably just want to be alone for a bit to contemplate upon it and absorb the reality of the situation.

I've lost a grandmother and a grandfather. I was pretty close. But for some reason the news never affected me. Years have gone by and no grief.

Yet when my cat died, I was completely broken up. Still am - years later, I get teary-eyed about her. I don't know why this is.

Hmm, strange. Sorry, I got nothing. Literally. My dog died, it's like 'that's unfourtunate'. I lose my great grandmother? I hardly knew 'er.

I ain't big on emotions due to death, I got nothing.

First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss. That's harsh.

I haven't lost many people, knock wood, though my brother-in-law is in serious cancer treatment right now and it's not looking good, but when I have, my inclination is to go against my normal habits and go out, be among people, experience life. Normally, I'm content to stay at home most of the time, enjoy my space, but that changes with loss for me. I want to go out, hear talking, smell cigarettes and sweat, taste the air, remember that life is good, and remember the good my friend or family member did.

I've long been a fan of the jazz funeral--mourn your way to the graveyard, then dance and sing all the back, and celebrate the good in the world, because this is the only life we're guaranteed, and damn it, we better have some fun with it.
Thanks. I appreciate it alot. I think there are a few things making this harder than usual. First, she was only 21...and only turned 21 a few weeks ago. Second, it was unexpected, and so preventable...a working smoke detector or a little more caution with a candle, and she'd still be here (I think some people here will remember I lost another 20 year old friend, but that was to cancer, and much more expected). Third, it wasn't even her apartment...she was staying at a friends place

I don't know. I love the idea of a jazz funeral, and would prefer to have one for my funeral and my parents...but this just feels so different. Your advice is good...I've been trying to contant the girls best friend so we could go to dinner and play some "Remember when". Untill then, cigarettes and alcohol shall help

I haven't lost anyone close to me, yet knowing me I would probably listen to music and just take a day to sit and either absorb the reality or cry the emotions out.

Death sucks. I've lost my step-dad, my grandfather and an extremely near miss with my best friend. It's not easy.

I don't know really how I deal with it. I just do. I'm a staunch atheist, so I don't give death much thought. I know it's going to happen. It really sucks that it's going to happen, but in the end, I'm not going to know the difference. I don't really try to hard to make my peace with that fact, because it won't matter once it's over.

Dealing with other people dying is hard. In my step dad and best friends case it was sudden. I never had a chance to say what I wanted to say. I try dealing with that by reminding myself that they don't feel hurt or anger or sadness anymore. I just also try to remember that they aren't coming back and none of my hurt feelings will bring them back.


Death has taught me a few things:
I've really been feeling the need to chase my dreams. It's hit home that this life is really all we get. I've also realised I have to either chase my dreams or give them up forever, and I don't want to die knowing I haven't tried everything to be who I wanted to be.

It's also really sunk in how no one really does know how much time they've got.

I don't plan on dying...one way or another, I'm holding on forever through whatever means necessary. Hell, I'll probably have myself frozen in the event that I die before true immortality and youth is achieved. It's not particularly outlandish or impossible, so I'm not too concerned about being able to do so by the time that it becomes a real possibility. Of course, there's always the chance of a freak accident or something like that, but I prefer to hedge my bets by being careful.

That being said, I've been extremely fortunate not to lose anyone in my family. My grandparents are still alive, although my Mom's parents passed away before I was born.

death sucks.

big time.

my condolences for your loss.

there is no good way to deal with it. i dont think you would want to be good at dealing with it. the loss of a friend, a family member, someone you love, should never be easy. how could it be?

everyone reacts differently. be gentle with yourself and your friends/classmates. you dont know how to deal with it and neither do they. accept your feelings as normal. dont expect to "get over it" any time soon. some people will seemingly deal with it easily; some will still be freaked out about it long after you have processed the loss. dont assume that another person is cold because they dont show how upset they are by it.

anyway, accept your feelings and dont try to supress them. do something to remember your friend even if its only to hoist a few in her memory. if you can, write a note to her parents telling them about being her friend and how much you enjoyed her company. it would be a great kindness that will help them in the lonely times to come when no one talks about her to them anymore.

sorry to hear that, it tragic when people die young. i'm not sure i've ever dealt with death really. i mean, i know people who have died and i was old enough to register the deaths of 2 grandparents, but it never really affected me. perhaps it's cuz they were old and i pretty much expected them to die at some point, so i just responded with an "oh, well, nevermind" sort of attitude. although if my one surviving grandparent died soon i'd probably be pretty cut up cuz i like her a lot. just thinking now, the only person i can remember who i know who died young is a girl i went to primary school with who died of an ectopic pregnancy (or during one, she was on crack at the time) at the age of 19. i felt a small amount of guilt because i really hated her at school cuz she was a bully and i actually nearly hurt her very badly once in retaliation. i had a passing thought that maybe that had caused lasting damage which may have caused her ectopic pregnancy, but i think that's unlikely.

Thanks. I appreciate it alot. I think there are a few things making this harder than usual.
<Snip>
Untill then, cigarettes and alcohol shall helpSound advice & here's some more: if the death seriously affects you, drop the alcohol. I know it might sound crass, but fuck instead. Jump any & eveything you can & screw your brains out.

And work out. Start running or better yet, join some sort of team sport. Grief's best concoured by 'winning' shit & having new experiences.

First off, sorry about your friend. :(

I don't think I've dealt with it the same way twice. Different people deal with it different ways... and deal with it differently at different times.

Despite 2 major deaths close to me, a friend and grandparent, I've never cried in grief. I've been shocked at the news (especially of the former, the latter was expected), but never overly emotional about it. The first has definitely shaped my life though, over a long period of time, its like a whole chunk of you has been ripped out and you don't know how to refill it. I extend my condolensces to you.

My sister's best friend was murdered last September (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platte_Canyon_High_School_shooting) and my sister still has not fully gotten over it. I didn't know Emily Keyes myself, but it still hurt me personally. For me, I just really didn't think about it all that much, and in time it passed. I guess that's all I can say to you is that just don't think about it. When your feelings bottle up, let them out in one way or another that doesn't hurt anything, and continue on. Eventually the pain will fade. It's all I can say.

death sucks.

big time.

my condolences for your loss.

there is no good way to deal with it. i dont think you would want to be good at dealing with it. the loss of a friend, a family member, someone you love, should never be easy. how could it be?

everyone reacts differently. be gentle with yourself and your friends/classmates. you dont know how to deal with it and neither do they. accept your feelings as normal. dont expect to "get over it" any time soon. some people will seemingly deal with it easily; some will still be freaked out about it long after you have processed the loss. dont assume that another person is cold because they dont show how upset they are by it.

anyway, accept your feelings and dont try to supress them. do something to remember your friend even if its only to hoist a few in her memory. if you can, write a note to her parents telling them about being her friend and how much you enjoyed her company. it would be a great kindness that will help them in the lonely times to come when no one talks about her to them anymore.

sorry to hear that, it tragic when people die young. i'm not sure i've ever dealt with death really. i mean, i know people who have died and i was old enough to register the deaths of 2 grandparents, but it never really affected me. perhaps it's cuz they were old and i pretty much expected them to die at some point, so i just responded with an "oh, well, nevermind" sort of attitude. although if my one surviving grandparent died soon i'd probably be pretty cut up cuz i like her a lot. just thinking now, the only person i can remember who i know who died young is a girl i went to primary school with who died of an ectopic pregnancy (or during one, she was on crack at the time) at the age of 19. i felt a small amount of guilt because i really hated her at school cuz she was a bully and i actually nearly hurt her very badly once in retaliation. i had a passing thought that maybe that had caused lasting damage which may have caused her ectopic pregnancy, but i think that's unlikely.
Thanks for the condolences. I really do appreciate it
Sound advice & here's some more: if the death seriously affects you, drop the alcohol. I know it might sound crass, but fuck instead. Jump any & eveything you can & screw your brains out.

And work out. Start running or better yet, join some sort of team sport. Grief's best concoured by 'winning' shit & having new experiences.

Yeah, I work out. I considered sex, but I'm really just in no mood to please anyone...ya know? And I only really get off on their pleasure...so no go.

I was talking to my mom the other day, and she said that the hardest isn't now. It's in a few months when I go out and have fun, and I realize I'm having fun, and that I feel like I shouldn't be. Then it will crash down hard.

I've found myself oddly unable to mourn or feel any emotions when people die.
My aunt died last January- it was a total shock(she had surgery and the doctor fucked up) for everyone else. I didn't care at all, in reality, while my sisters turned on the waterworks.
As for death, I generally think about it a lot. The thing is, I'm not scared of death, but I am utterly, utterly terrified of being forgotten after I die- and I have to admit, it's the biggest drive for most of my accomplishments in my normal life

I'm sorry to hear about your loss Sarkhaan. :(


I'm in the unique position of not having anyone extremely close to me die unexpectedly yet. I've lost my great-grandparents and one lot of grandparents - we were close, but of course they were old and it wasn't really out of nowhere. Particularly in the case of my grandmother it was more of a blessing for her really since she spent the last years of her life in a lot of pain.

But I don't know how i'd react if one of my good friends, brother, or parents were killed. Probably withdraw into myself for some length of time.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss Sarkhaan. :(


I'm in the unique position of not having anyone extremely close to me die unexpectedly yet. I've lost my great-grandparents and one lot of grandparents - we were close, but of course they were old and it wasn't really out of nowhere. Particularly in the case of my grandmother it was more of a blessing for her really since she spent the last years of her life in a lot of pain.

But I don't know how i'd react if one of my good friends, brother, or parents were killed. Probably withdraw into myself for some length of time.

Thanks...once again, It is truly appreciated :fluffle:
Even through this, I can't even comprehend what it would be like if it was my sister or my best friend...I was trying to consider it while I was trying to reach another mutual friend, but I really just can't.
Wake is wednesday, funeral thursday...I think it would be good to go, but I don't know if I can make it...both physically and emotionally.

I used to have really bad panic attacks a few years ago about death. It was usually all I though about each day. Would just pop into my head "oh god I'm going to DIE someday!" Day in day out..at night where I couldn't sleep. I got put on anti-depressants because of it. Now I don't think about it much. I'm off of them but I still really don't get all sad over death. Which is sometimes a GOOD thing because in my job, I have to deal with it alot.

A few family members and family friends have died. I was sad definately but haven't openly grieved about it.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. :(
You see, I, not too long ago (coming up on half a year), lost my roommate in a car wreck. He was driving back to school from a home visit and had one of those freak accidents where nobody was at fault. (It was raining, but both he and the other driver were driving with all due caution. He braked the proper distance before a stop sign, but his brakes gave out and he got t-boned by a Dodge Ram.)
The passanger, a friend of mine, was seriously injured and only recently was able to return home. I'm not going to pretend my roommate's death hasn't affected me. Indeed, it's did give me problems with my studies, I couldn't focus on studying or essays too well. Also, I've been a lot more withdrawn and generally less social since then.
But you know what?
We had one hell of a party to remember him. And that truly helps. We passed around a bottle of his favorite vodka (Gray Goose), pouring out the first shot for him and the second for the passenger. We got extremely drunk and generally had a good time, the way he'd have wanted it. We even had a few laughs about how, if he could see us there, all depressed and sad, how he'd say something along the lines of "God Damnit, guys! Stop your damn whining and go have a good time. Get drunk, party, and wake up wondering where the hell you are and how you got there! Hell, drink a few extra for me, will ya?!"
And I tell you, that party really helped me start to get on with my life. It's a process I've still not completed (my eyes still mist a bit when I talk about it), but I'm doing a lot better that I would have without it.

So, in summary, my advice: Go. Get drunk. Have a giant party with everybody who knew this person. Mourn the death, yes. But also celebrate the life! It won't totally heal your pain, but, after you recover from the hangover, you'll feel a hell of a lot better.

May angels lead you in:(

My condolences for your loss, I feel the worst part of death, or the expectation and reality of death, creates beliefs such as that, an escapism if you will. A dislocation from reality.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. :(
You see, I, not too long ago (coming up on half a year), lost my roommate in a car wreck. He was driving back to school from a home visit and had one of those freak accidents where nobody was at fault. (It was raining, but both he and the other driver were driving with all due caution. He braked the proper distance before a stop sign, but his brakes gave out and he got t-boned by a Dodge Ram.)
The passanger, a friend of mine, was seriously injured and only recently was able to return home. I'm not going to pretend my roommate's death hasn't affected me. Indeed, it's did give me problems with my studies, I couldn't focus on studying or essays too well. Also, I've been a lot more withdrawn and generally less social since then.
But you know what?
We had one hell of a party to remember him. And that truly helps. We passed around a bottle of his favorite vodka (Gray Goose), pouring out the first shot for him and the second for the passenger. We got extremely drunk and generally had a good time, the way he'd have wanted it. We even had a few laughs about how, if he could see us there, all depressed and sad, how he'd say something along the lines of "God Damnit, guys! Stop your damn whining and go have a good time. Get drunk, party, and wake up wondering where the hell you are and how you got there! Hell, drink a few extra for me, will ya?!"
And I tell you, that party really helped me start to get on with my life. It's a process I've still not completed (my eyes still mist a bit when I talk about it), but I'm doing a lot better that I would have without it.

So, in summary, my advice: Go. Get drunk. Have a giant party with everybody who knew this person. Mourn the death, yes. But also celebrate the life! It won't totally heal your pain, but, after you recover from the hangover, you'll feel a hell of a lot better.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, as well. That is the best advice so far. A few years ago, my friend lost her father to a drunk driving accident. At the minute of his death the next night, we all drank to his life, and oddly, it truly helped. I think that is what we all need...a night to remember and celebrate her life...she was such an amazing person

My condolences for your loss, I feel the worst part of death, or the expectation and reality of death, creates beliefs such as that, an escapism if you will. A dislocation from reality.
Thank you.

My mother died the week before Hallowe'en. It was expected, but not, if you know what I mean. It was really stressful, because I had just sold my house and was retiring and preparing to move out of state. My daughter and I were in sort of a daze. We spent a couple of days putting together an album of my mother's life (she was a WWII Navy veteran, so we came up with a picture of a remarkable woman - one that I really never knew). The funeral was at the National Cemetary in Riverside, CA. and had full military honors, including a gun salute - I nearly lost it then. Because everything was happening at once, I didn't really have a chance to process it until now. I guess it's a matter of taking things a day at a time, and letting the thoughts happen when they do, but don't dwell on it.

Death in inevitable. Humans all know this fact, yet dealing with it never becomes any easier.

Sadly, this has becoming increasingly appearent this past week. I was home this last weekend for my roommates grandmothers funeral, and heard that there was a fire in a building that housed several BU students off campus. Reports came in that two people died, one was badly injured.

Today, when I got back to Boston, I found out that one person who died was a friend of mine, in addition to being close with many of my friends (including my good friends best friend). (Link to the article about the fire) (http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/02/25/2_bu_students_killed_in_blaze/?page=2)

I won't lie, I'm still quite a bit in shock about it, and don't really believe that it happened.

I would assume that the people on NSG have all dealt with their share of loss...so how do you handle it? Close off? Play music? Go out with some mutual friends and play a few rounds of "Remember when?"?



May angels lead you in:(

Sorry to hear that. *consoles*
I usually play with my ferrets to get these kinds of things into perspective.

Death in inevitable. Humans all know this fact, yet dealing with it never becomes any easier.

Sadly, this has becoming increasingly appearent this past week. I was home this last weekend for my roommates grandmothers funeral, and heard that there was a fire in a building that housed several BU students off campus. Reports came in that two people died, one was badly injured.

Today, when I got back to Boston, I found out that one person who died was a friend of mine, in addition to being close with many of my friends (including my good friends best friend). (Link to the article about the fire) (http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/02/25/2_bu_students_killed_in_blaze/?page=2)

I won't lie, I'm still quite a bit in shock about it, and don't really believe that it happened.

I would assume that the people on NSG have all dealt with their share of loss...so how do you handle it? Close off? Play music? Go out with some mutual friends and play a few rounds of "Remember when?"?



May angels lead you in:(

the most difficult death I have had to deal with, left me in a state that I don't ever want to be in again.

I ended up in grief therapy and my therapist suggested I write a letter to the person who died. It was actually very helpful. You might try that. It doesn't have to be this grand overreaching letter, just whatever you feel or want to say, nobody ever has to read it but you.

5 stages of grief (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model)
It's another of those existential dilemmas. You gotta surf the wave yourself. No one can do it for you. But, you don't have to do it alone, either :fluffle:
When you're with mutual friends, remember that you'll be at different places in the 5 stages. Treat each other with respect and love.
Peace.

Thanks...once again, It is truly appreciated :fluffle:
Even through this, I can't even comprehend what it would be like if it was my sister or my best friend...I was trying to consider it while I was trying to reach another mutual friend, but I really just can't.
Wake is wednesday, funeral thursday...I think it would be good to go, but I don't know if I can make it...both physically and emotionally.

you should go.

as hard as it is for you, its much worse for her family.

it will be a bit of a comfort for them to see her friends show up to both events. its nice to know that other people appreciated her enough to take the trouble to show up. and its not something you can make up for later when you are feeling better.

Sorry to hear that. *consoles*
I usually play with my ferrets to get these kinds of things into perspective.
Thank you :fluffle:
it is times like these that I really wish I had a puppy
the most difficult death I have had to deal with, left me in a state that I don't ever want to be in again.

I ended up in grief therapy and my therapist suggested I write a letter to the person who died. It was actually very helpful. You might try that. It doesn't have to be this grand overreaching letter, just whatever you feel or want to say, nobody ever has to read it but you.
That is definatly a good idea...I think I may do it. Thanks.

5 stages of grief (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model)
It's another of those existential dilemmas. You gotta surf the wave yourself. No one can do it for you. But, you don't have to do it alone, either :fluffle:
When you're with mutual friends, remember that you'll be at different places in the 5 stages. Treat each other with respect and love.
Peace.You know, they claim you can't be in denial and aware of the fact that you are in that state at the same time. I disagree with that. I know I'm in denial, as well as aspects of all the other stages. I had lunch with her best friend today, and much of the campus is talking about it, so it definatly helps to know we aren't alone.

you should go.

as hard as it is for you, its much worse for her family.

it will be a bit of a comfort for them to see her friends show up to both events. its nice to know that other people appreciated her enough to take the trouble to show up. and its not something you can make up for later when you are feeling better.
I think I'll be going to both. The university is running a shuttle out to the services, so that takes care of one problem

I would assume that the people on NSG have all dealt with their share of loss...so how do you handle it? Close off? Play music? Go out with some mutual friends and play a few rounds of "Remember when?"?


Sorry to hear about your loss. Although everyone deals with things differently, I think there are some coping methods which work for just about everyone. The people who advise you to go out and party are almost certainly right. You can celebrate and mourn at the same time.

Perhaps hearing about my own experiences will help a little:

My mum died quite suddenly a couple of years ago, and nothing has been quite the same since. My dad broke down completely which, while I don't resent him it, meant I had to give my time and effort and energy to dealing with his issues instead of my own. Anyway, his psychiatrist advised him to write her a letter (as Smunkeeville suggests) and he said it helped a great deal.

She died two days before I was due to go to a five day music festival. I had to wonder if it was a good idea to go or not - I was going to be stuck in a tent 20 miles from nowhere, surrounded by people who were partying flat out and couldn't care less. I went, which turned out to be a good idea. Really, really good. First evening there I ended up on a hillside overlooking a valley with thousands of people dancing. As the sun was setting across the valley, I just thought: "Bye." Somehow, I could accept what had happened. That was a key moment in learning to deal with it.

A friend of mine, who'd lost his dad at a young age, advised me: "Try not to hate other people for still being alive. Even when you see someone that seems like a total dickhead, don't think about how unfair it is that they are still around."

Another friend, who ran away from home at the age of 14 and has completely disowned his parents, gave me a brutally honest but very important point to consider. He said: "I'd change places with you, any day. You had a mum who cared about you. I'd give anything to have had that, ever."

Which brings me to the last point - remember the good times. Those good times can never be taken away, so try to remember them with a feeling of happiness and not loss or regret.

I've lost my brother, boyfriend, grandmother and both grandfathers. I almost lost my mother to suicide, and my best friend committed suicide last year.

I don't know how I got over the pain and grief, all I know is that I did it alone because in times like those I always just go in my room, turn off the lights and sit around on the floor and reflect on life and how they were such important people, and how all their wisdom and knowledge they put upon the Earth is just gone.

...

That is beyond bad. You have my deepest sympathy.

At risk of sounding trite, though, surely their wisdom and knowledge isn't entirely gone? Some of it must have been passed on to others, including you. Even if not, the effects of the things they did during their lives can't just have disappeared.

Death in inevitable. Humans all know this fact, yet dealing with it never becomes any easier.

Sadly, this has becoming increasingly appearent this past week. I was home this last weekend for my roommates grandmothers funeral, and heard that there was a fire in a building that housed several BU students off campus. Reports came in that two people died, one was badly injured.

Today, when I got back to Boston, I found out that one person who died was a friend of mine, in addition to being close with many of my friends (including my good friends best friend). (Link to the article about the fire) (http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/02/25/2_bu_students_killed_in_blaze/?page=2)

I won't lie, I'm still quite a bit in shock about it, and don't really believe that it happened.

I would assume that the people on NSG have all dealt with their share of loss...so how do you handle it? Close off? Play music? Go out with some mutual friends and play a few rounds of "Remember when?"?



May angels lead you in:(

I cry. A lot. Preferably on a friend's shoulder.

Music helps too. I think about all the things I loved about that person.

Usually, though, I end up trying to be strong for someone else. For some reason it is simply easier that way. I don't deal with my own pain until I'm a little bit further away from the event.