NationStates Jolt Archive

It is 2008. You have entered the twilight zone. Somebody crossed beams with their proton packs. You dropped a slice of buttered bread and it landed butter side up. These are your presidential choices.

Surely it would be better to have them as a Republican Primary, no?:p

I would emigrate.

I vote for Zool.

I want to vote for Christopher Walken

Surely it would be better to have them as a Republican Primary, no?:p

Wasn't Nixon a Democrat?

Surely it would be better to have them as a Republican Primary, no?:p

Nope. Hell went to a handbasket and squeezed itself in. When you eat an orange, it peels you. Britney Spears is accepted into Oxford.

Warren Harding? Isn't that the name of a law firm? Could you pick a more random president?

Nope. Hell went to a handbasket and squeezed itself in. When you eat an orange, it peels you. Britney Spears is accepted into Oxford.
In Soviet Russia, orange peels YOU!!!

Yes. I went there.

Warren G. Harding: Our Worst President
by Stephen Colbert

Historians debate feverishly over the best president in American history. However, there is little disagreement over who was the worst. His name was Warren G. Harding (1921-1923), and he sucked.

The reasons why he sucked are many and, to be truthful, have been widely catalogued in the annals of presidential history. So, with your indulgence, I'd like to focus insteas on the intensity of his sucking.

Warren G. Harding was a worthless piece of shit. Fuck him. His presidency was a taint, not just in the sense of a "stain on the office", but literally a taint - the anatomical area between the anus and the testicles.

I hate Warren G. Harding.
Needless to say, I'm voting for Nixon. :p

Wasn't Nixon a Democrat?
No.

Wasn't Nixon a Democrat?

Uh, no.

As for these choices, it's not even a question: Richard Nixon.

How'd I fuck that up? I'm not even drunk yet.

It's an easy mistake to make, seeing as how the parties are nigh identical.

No.

How'd I fuck that up? I'm not even drunk yet.

Wasn't Nixon a Democrat?

I hope that was sarcasm.

Warren Harding? Isn't that the name of a law firm? Could you pick a more random president?

He usually heads the top of the list as the worst president because he had an intensely corrupt cabinet. I wanted to see if he could beat Bush. Nixon is in there because his ghostly form appeared to me when I was making the poll. He threatened my testicles with a cheese spreader.

Needless to say, I'm voting for Nixon. :p

Never thought I'd say it, but given the alternatives, Nixon's the best choice.

I hope that was sarcasm.

Well, I was going for some kind of joke. Which I failed at.

I've been doing that alot today.

He usually heads the top of the list as the worst president because he had an intensely corrupt cabinet. I wanted to see if he could beat Bush. Nixon is in there because his ghostly form appeared to me when I was making the poll. He threatened my testicles with a cheese spreader.

But unlike the other two, Nixon was actually a good President. He was just extremely paranoid, which led to the whole Watergate bit getting out of control and ending his political career. Had he not been paranoid he'd be on our list of good Presidents.

But unlike the other two, Nixon was actually a good President. He was just extremely paranoid, which led to the whole Watergate bit getting out of control and ending his political career. Had he not been paranoid he'd be on our list of good Presidents.

I wonder what death has done to his sense of paranoia...

I wonder what death has done to his sense of paranoia...

I imagine his paranoia, along with every other scrap of information, memory, ect in his brain disappeared upon his death, as there is no afterlife, no ghosts, no heaven or hell or anything, just oblivion.

I imagine his paranoia, along with every other scrap of information, memory, ect in his brain disappeared upon his death, as there is no afterlife, no ghosts, no heaven or hell or anything, just oblivion.

This brings up more questions than answers. Who, then, led me to believe that they were Richard Nixon and threatened me with a cheese spreader at the precise moment I was creating a Presidential Blah Blah Poll?

This brings up more questions than answers. Who, then, led me to believe that they were Richard Nixon and threatened me with a cheese spreader at the precise moment I was creating a Presidential Blah Blah Poll?

That would be me, as I enjoy threatening people with cheese spreaders since it's such an odd piece of kitchen equipment.

Well, I don't trust Nixon, and Harding sucked during a time of relative peace. My belief is that Bush is a competent politician who got screwed by world events. Did he make mistakes? Yep. Does that make him a bad politician? Nope. Just a really unlucky one.

At this point, I'd say that if G-d is expressing His opinion of Bush, then G-d must hate Bush more than Michael Moore.

I'm voting for Nixon, since he was neither incompetent (unlike Harding) or despised by fate (unlike Bush). And if he tries any of that Watergate stuff again, the media will tear him limb from limb.

That would be me, as I enjoy threatening people with cheese spreaders since it's such an odd piece of kitchen equipment.

.....

You have your precious Nixon in the poll but know this....


My testicles never forget an injustice done to them. They are like elephants that way. Elephants. In my pants. That never forget.

.....

You have your precious Nixon in the poll but know this....


My testicles never forget an injustice done to them. They are like elephants that way. Elephants. In my pants. That never forget.

Understood. So understood, in fact, that I'll sig it just to make sure I don't forget.

.....

You have your precious Nixon in the poll but know this....


My testicles never forget an injustice done to them. They are like elephants that way. Elephants. In my pants. That never forget.

SIGGED

Understood. So understood, in fact, that I'll sig it just to make sure I don't forget.

:P



And who voted for Bush? Reveal yourself!

Warren G.Harding,the most underrated President ever.

Warren G. Harding. Under his rule socialism was at least looked down upon, and people still had freedom.

Wasn't Nixon a Democrat?

Only if you're Fox news.

Only if you're Fox news.

:D

Warren G. Harding. Under his rule socialism was at least looked down upon, and people still had freedom.

Um...

Um...

...mU

Nixon. At least he was competent.

*Futurama moment*

Vote for Nixon's Head!!

*Futurama moment*

Vote for Nixon's Head!!

Nobody can be elected twice!

Um...

Greill is an Austrian.

Warren G. Harding. Now that was a man who understood the meaning of laissez-faire. Maybe this time he'd be smart and not get caught doing corrupt deals...although I wouldn't mind Coolidge in office again.

Warren Harding, because his record of slaughter doesn't compare to either Nixon's or Bush's.

Edit: I voted with Greill and Vetalia. :eek:

Warren Harding, because his record of slaughter doesn't compare to either Nixon's or Bush's.

Edit: I voted with Greill and Vetalia. :eek:

HAHA! My mind-control machine works!

Warren G. Harding. Under his rule socialism was at least looked down upon, and people still had freedom.
I'll vote for him too then. :D

Harding wasn't that bad. How many wars did he get us into? None. How much damage did he do to the economy? I don't know, but whatever damage he did (if any) is negligible compared to the other two.

Write-In Candidate: Scooby-Doo. If it were between those three.

http://www.ideageneration.co.uk/Press%20Office/HipHopYears/content%20JPGS/043-Digital-underground-JF.jpg bump

:eek::eek::eek:

*cries*

Nixon or Harding. Both are dead, so can't be worse than GWB. Necrocracy is the only sane form of government!

:eek::eek::eek:

*cries*

Your cries fall on a deaf White House. Your wants and needs are insignificant. You will be led by an asshole. There is no escape.

Your cries fall on a deaf White House. Your wants and needs are insignificant. You will be led by an asshole. There is no escape.

*cries harder*

Well Nixon is certainly a better option then Ronald Reagan...

*comforts you with a campaign button bearing the faces of all three presidential candidates*

*jumps off the roof of the White House*

*cries harder*

*comforts you with a campaign button bearing the faces of all three presidential candidates*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdfkYe3c5XI

The sound's not working. :(

*jumps off the roof of the White House*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdfkYe3c5XI

The sound's not working. :(

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/doors/the+unknown+soldier_20042775.html

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/doors/the+unknown+soldier_20042775.html

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah.


It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Yeah.


It seemed like a good idea at the time.

*flies to safety*