NationStates Jolt Archive

Drunken Australian catches shark with his bare hands
AP
Published: 16 February 2007
A man who caught a four-foot shark with his bare hands off an Australian beach today said he only did it because he was drunk on vodka.

Bricklayer Phillip Kerkhof was fishing for squid with friends off a jetty at Louth Bay, a town on South Australia state's Eyre Peninsula, on Monday night when he spotted the bronze whaler shark swimming in the shallows, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation reported.

"I just snuck up behind him, and eventually I went for the big grab and I fluked it and got him," Mr Kerkhof said. "He was just thrashing around in the water ... starting to turn around and try to bite me and I thought 'well, it's amazing what vodka does'," Mr Kerkhof said.

As he wrestled the shark onto the jetty, the shark bit a hole in Kerkhof's jeans but all he suffered was a slight scratch.

Mr Kerkhof said he'd had two meals already from the shark and planned to use the rest in a weekend cookout for friends in the town, which lies about 870 miles west of Sydney.

"It's beautiful mate - restaurant quality," he said.


http://news.independent.co.uk/world/australasia/article2275397.ece

Now this could be the definition of stupid. Stick to the beers methinks.

That man is my favorite.

He is obviously not familiar with Irwin 3:12

"Do not tangle with ye beast from the deep with thine bare hands, or the beast will smiteth thee and foreshorten thine TV career"

Wouldnt be suprised to see him in a few vodka ads in the not-so-distant-future...what a legend mate :D

He is obviously not familiar with Irwin 3:12

"Do not tangle with ye beast from the deep with thine bare hands, or the beast will smiteth thee and foreshorten thine TV career"

Steve should have gotten pissed, then he would have eaten that ray.

Pah - it's only a 4 footer.

Now compare it to THIS (http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-12865608,00.html) guy:

'Iceman' Wrestles Shark
Updated: 03:13, Friday October 24, 2003

An Icelandic fishing captain, known as "the Iceman", wrestled and killed a 300kg shark to stop it attacking his crew, according to witnesses.

Captain Sigurdur Petursson was on a beach in Kuummiit, east Greenland, watching his crew processing a catch when he saw the shark swimming towards his men.

The skipper of the trawler Erik the Red, ran into the shallow water and grabbed the shark by its tail with his bare hands.

He dragged it off to dry land and killed it with his knife.

Frede Kilime, a hunter and fisherman who witnessesed the extraordinary spectacle, said: "He caught it just with his hands. There was a lot of blood in the sea and the shark came in and he thought it was dangerous."

Icelandic author and journalist Reynir Traustason, who knows the trawler captain, said the act was typical of the man.

"He's called 'the Iceman' because he isn't scared of anything," he said.

"I know the people in that part of the world. They are really tough."

Pah - it's only a 4 footer.

Now compare it to THIS (http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30200-12865608,00.html) guy:

Anybody could do it sober.

Anybody could do it sober.

Killing a shark in shallow water? Bah, I don't even need the knife.

Killing a shark in shallow water? Bah, I don't even need the knife.

Now, get a couple vodka shots into you...

After 9 or ten of those, getting to the bathroom is a reason to celebrate. Kill a shark in that condition? Heavens doors are open to you in the afterlife and fame and fortune tide you over til then.