NationStates Jolt Archive

I found an ex on facebook (I wasn't looking for him, one of my friends recently friended him). I want to talk to him, but I don't know that he'd respond and I was the last person to make attempts at communications.

I kinda wonder if I should let more time pass (we dated about 8 months ago, I've moved on but I'm still curious about what happened since it ended really suddenly)

Someone tell me it's a bad idea before I go and do it.

I found an ex on facebook (I wasn't looking for him, one of my friends recently friended him). I want to talk to him, but I don't know that he'd respond and I was the last person to make attempts at communications.

I kinda wonder if I should let more time pass (we dated about 8 months ago)

Someone tell me it's a bad idea before I go and do it.

depends on why you want to talk to him, what you want to say, how the relationship ended and what kind of person he is, i would have thought. i'm guessing you haven't spoken to him much or at all since you broke up?

I found an ex on facebook (I wasn't looking for him, one of my friends recently friended him). I want to talk to him, but I don't know that he'd respond and I was the last person to make attempts at communications.

I kinda wonder if I should let more time pass (we dated about 8 months ago)

Someone tell me it's a bad idea before I go and do it.

Seeing how I broke up with my ex-girlfriend almost a year ago...I choose not to contact her nor talk to her whatsoever.

My experience would influence my advice to you...to just let it go. Move on. This is based on my experience with an ex. She has attempted to contact me and I never answered my phone and never returned the call. I'm moving on and Prefer to move on with out her. Just my 2 cents.

its a bad idea

a very bad idea

arent you dating someone else now? there is no sense making your new guy feel insecure.

just let it go. 10 years from now you can contact him if you come across him on the internet.

depends on why you want to talk to him, what you want to say, how the relationship ended and what kind of person he is, i would have thought. i'm guessing you haven't spoken to him much or at all since you broke up?
No, I haven't spoken to him at all since we broke up. He sent me an email to end it and when I emailed him asking for an explanation he didn't respond.

I mostly want to talk to him becasue we did generally get along and I do get the feeling that he dumped me because he was moving away, that's more or less the reason he gave... but I would somewhat like to know if that's all there was to it and why it is that he decided email would be a good way to end things. I generally like to be friends with people I've dated too.

Can't really be that helpful here. I only ever call an ex after my seventh or eigth shot.

Still, I'd recommend not contacting him, especially if things ended badly. There's enough drama in the average human life that one needn't go looking for more.

...Someone tell me it's a bad idea before I go and do it.

You are a glutton for punishment. Of course it's a bad idea! But you'll do it anyway!

its a bad idea

a very bad idea

arent you dating someone else now? there is no sense making your new guy feel insecure.

just let it go. 10 years from now you can contact him if you come across him on the internet.
I am dating someone else now and I like him a lot. He's not insecure and if he was, I wouldn't date him for long anyways. Plus, last I knew, this other guy was going away to Europe... that's not really a threat to any relationship.

But you're right, I probably shouldn't do it.

Don't.

Just don't.

You are a glutton for punishment. Of course it's a bad idea! But you'll do it anyway!
Haha. I'll probably only do it if I get drunk and think of it, at least any time in the near future.

No, I haven't spoken to him at all since we broke up. He sent me an email to end it and when I emailed him asking for an explanation he didn't respond.

I mostly want to talk to him becasue we did generally get along and I do get the feeling that he dumped me because he was moving away, that's more or less the reason he gave... but I would somewhat like to know if that's all there was to it and why it is that he decided email would be a good way to end things. I generally like to be friends with people I've dated too.

that's a pretty shitty way to break up with someone. basically i think there's only two possible things you're going to find out: either he'll just confirm that it was just cuz he was moving away and he was too cowardly to break up with you personally, which will be a disappointment; or he'll tell you something that you really wouldn't like to know and you'll end up hurt.

doesn't strike me as a great idea.

but then, having no exes (per se) myself, what do i know?

Just don't. Save your self the time and effort.

that's a pretty shitty way to break up with someone. basically i think there's only two possible things you're going to find out: either he'll just confirm that it was just cuz he was moving away and he was too cowardly to break up with you personally, which will be a disappointment; or he'll tell you something that you really wouldn't like to know and you'll end up hurt.

doesn't strike me as a great idea.

but then, having no exes (per se) myself, what do i know?
I think he's hurt me as much as he's going to...

But yeah, I'm still not going to do it... although I still kinda want to... maybe I just want an apology for the way he treated me...

I think he's hurt me as much as he's going to...

But yeah, I'm still not going to do it... although I still kinda want to... maybe I just want an apology for the way he treated me...

Do you think you'll actually get the apology? If you think it through and believe there's really a shot that you'll get what you want, then by all means, but make sure you've thought it through and you're not just hoping for something.

Do you think you'll actually get the apology? If you think it through and believe there's really a shot that you'll get what you want, then by all means, but make sure you've thought it through and you're not just hoping for something.
I somehow doubt I'd get any response at all.

Don't worry, I did just need to hear other people say that it was a bad idea.

I think he's hurt me as much as he's going to...

But yeah, I'm still not going to do it... although I still kinda want to... maybe I just want an apology for the way he treated me...

If he were going to apologise, he'd have done it already. Be happy with your current love, and leave your ex to do whatever it is he's doing.

I somehow doubt I'd get any response at all.

Don't worry, I did just need to hear other people say that it was a bad idea.

If he were going to apologise, he'd have done it already. Be happy with your current love, and leave your ex to do whatever it is he's doing.

Exactly--my suggestion, Dakini, is just to imagine that he mourns, daily, the way he ended things, and that he spends his days rolling about in a pile of his own filth, too ashamed to contact you and make it right. It could happen, right? :D

Exactly--my suggestion, Dakini, is just to imagine that he mourns, daily, the way he ended things, and that he spends his days rolling about in a pile of his own filth, too ashamed to contact you and make it right. It could happen, right? :D
Yeah, I think I like that idea. He rues the day he sent that email and is now alone and miserable.

Well, I don't really hope he's miserable, but I can't say I'd be overly upset if he was.

Yeah, I think I like that idea. He rues the day he sent that email and is now alone and miserable.

Well, I don't really hope he's miserable, but I can't say I'd be overly upset if he was.

Isn't this the jerk whose infamy all of General is well aqauinted with?! (I'm not sure about the timeline, but 8 months sounds about right since the thread I'm recalling). I thought we had all convinced YOU to dump HIM. Anyway, don't bother. and facebook is the devil.

I say leave ex's in the past. At least from my experience it never goes well.

Isn't this the jerk whose infamy all of General is well aqauinted with?! (I'm not sure about the timeline, but 8 months sounds about right since the thread I'm recalling). I thought we had all convinced YOU to dump HIM. Anyway, don't bother. and facebook is the devil.
No, that guy was the jerk I dumped over a year ago (well, like 13 months)... he actually contacted me the month before last and he's on meds now and has some sense of sanity and did actually mention that he understood where I was coming from and sorta apologized for being a jerk. This other guy I met afterwards.

I still talk to my ex once in a while online, and her mother IMed me once recently (VERY FREAKY). I like to think we parted amicably and that we are still friends. I actually recently met her and her new BF for the first time since September, and wished them well. So it's not always bad to contact or to keep in contact with exes, although from the response so far maybe I was just really lucky, and it's generally not a good idea..

Don't.

Just don't.
*Agrees with Dobbsy!!

I say leave ex's in the past. At least from my experience it never goes well.

Ditto.

+1!

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