NationStates Jolt Archive


How do you tell if people are flirting with you?

Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 06:39
Give me some pointers. Of course I can tell if people are obvious, but you know that not everyone is obvious all the time. Note that, where I live, people are really friendly so it's kinda hard to differentiate friendliness from flirtiness. Talking with strangers is usually ok, to a degree. Some people say they can understand from "the look" but I'm kinda lazy, I usually get the first move from other side, so I havent developed that. So I dont know if "the look" is that look or if it's a too much alcohol / weed look or whatever....
So how do you understand?
The Scandinvans
06-02-2007, 06:42
When they worship there every step.
Greater Trostia
06-02-2007, 06:51
Give me some pointers. Of course I can tell if people are obvious, but you know that not everyone is obvious all the time. Note that, where I live, people are really friendly so it's kinda hard to differentiate friendliness from flirtiness. Talking with strangers is usually ok, to a degree. Some people say they can understand from "the look" but I'm kinda lazy, I usually get the first move from other side, so I havent developed that. So I dont know if "the look" is that look or if it's a too much alcohol / weed look or whatever....
So how do you understand?

When her hand drops to your crotch and starts maniacally manipulating your member it's flirting.

When she slaps you and screams for the police, it's not.

Beyond that I can't help you. Just working with what I got, you know?
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 06:54
Give me some pointers. Of course I can tell if people are obvious, but you know that not everyone is obvious all the time. Note that, where I live, people are really friendly so it's kinda hard to differentiate friendliness from flirtiness. Talking with strangers is usually ok, to a degree. Some people say they can understand from "the look" but I'm kinda lazy, I usually get the first move from other side, so I havent developed that. So I dont know if "the look" is that look or if it's a too much alcohol / weed look or whatever....
So how do you understand?
Are you a guy?

There are some gender neutral pointers. The person is into you if the person you're talking to pays special attention to every word you're saying, and remembers little details that you've only mentioned. The person would laugh at all of your jokes, and makes an effort to communicate with you at every opportunity. That person may also try to get physically closer than a normal friend would stay from you. The person would also smile more at you. But in the end, I'm sorry to say this, but "the look" is the most important hint, like if that person's eyes always linger on you for a little longer than needed. Start with these. I'll come up with more later.
Similization
06-02-2007, 06:56
Ask if he/she/it wants to fuck. The response should clear up any confusion.
New Ausha
06-02-2007, 06:57
When her hand drops to your crotch and starts maniacally manipulating your member it's flirting.

When she slaps you and screams for the police, it's not.

Beyond that I can't help you. Just working with what I got, you know?

Dammit Trostia you need too stay out of these kind of threads....*looks at sig*

Anywho, I have no idea what it looks like either, so I suggest waiting for her too manually stimulate your member as trostia stated. Then you can contemplate the situatin and come too the consesnsus she has a fondness for you.
Kreitzmoorland
06-02-2007, 06:59
Flirting sort of sucks. If you're the object of it from someone you don't like it's often annoying bordering on repulsive. If you do like them, it's nerve-racking bordering on awkward. To be avoided.
Just behave like a normal, friendly human being and if you feel particular interest, show it. Also, take other people's particular interest at face value.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:00
Are you a guy?

There are some gender neutral pointers. The person is into you if the person you're talking to pays special attention to every word you're saying, and remembers little details that you've only mentioned. The person would laugh at all of your jokes, and makes an effort to communicate with you at every opportunity. That person may also try to get physically closer than a normal friend would stay from you. The person would also smile more at you. But in the end, I'm sorry to say this, but "the look" is the most important hint, like if that person's eyes always linger on you for a little longer than needed. Start with these. I'll come up with more later.

Yeah, I'm a guy. Are you a guy or girl?
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:01
When her hand drops to your crotch and starts maniacally manipulating your member it's flirting.

When she slaps you and screams for the police, it's not.

Beyond that I can't help you. Just working with what I got, you know?

Ask if he/she/it wants to fuck. The response should clear up any confusion.

You 2 know eachother? You'd hit it off...
Posi
06-02-2007, 07:03
Yeah, I'm a guy. Are you a guy or girl?

He's a both!
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:04
Yeah, I'm a guy. Are you a guy or girl?
You're a guy, I'm a girl. I'm glad we have this cleared up.

Now, guy specific advice. I don't know how much you notice about girls' appearances, but if a girl starts to dress up and wear make up and try to look nicer in general after meeting/talking to you, there's a good chance she is interested in you and wants you to notice her. Girls also like to put their hands on guys' arms when flirting, just once or twice, to show that they're interested. She may also play with her hair or twirl with her necklace or something like that, to, again, get the guy to notice how pretty she is. With girls, it's always: if you start noticing how good she looks, she's probably trying to get your attention.
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 07:07
Good question - how do you tell when a guy is flirting with you though (keep in mind I am one, hence it can be confusing if you don't even know whether the guy's gay to begin with)?
Posi
06-02-2007, 07:08
Good question - how do you tell when a guy is flirting with you though (keep in mind I am one, hence it can be confusing if you don't even know whether the guy's gay to begin with)?

He's erect.
Gartref
06-02-2007, 07:08
How do you tell if people are flirting with you?

Grab their arse. If they punch you in the arm hard enough to bleed, they weren't flirting.
Posi
06-02-2007, 07:10
Grab their arse. If they punch you in the arm hard enough to bleed, they weren't flirting.QFL
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 07:12
He's erect.
What if he's got baggy trousers or is sitting behind a desk? :p

I've had a guy flirt with me very overtly once... very good looking too, but alas I was not interested in the least (even though I had a crush on him).
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:13
What if he's got baggy trousers or is sitting behind a desk? :p

I've had a guy flirt with me very overtly once... very good looking too, but alas I was not interested in the least (even though I had a crush on him).
:confused:

Care to explain how this works?
Posi
06-02-2007, 07:14
:confused:

Care to explain how this works?
'splain?!?!:eek:

You think it can be 'splained?!?!?
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 07:16
:confused:

Care to explain how this works?
I couldn't tell if he was just messing around or if he was really interested in me... and at the time I was too shy to ask really. He probably got bored eventually given that I didn't respond much at all.
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:17
'splain?!?!:eek:

You think it can be 'splained?!?!?
Everything can be explained. I don't know if anything can be 'splained though. :p
I couldn't tell if he was just messing around or if he was really interested in me... and at the time I was too shy to ask really. He probably got bored eventually given that I didn't respond much at all.
Ahh. That would make sense. Poor Europa. :( :fluffle:
The Black Forrest
06-02-2007, 07:18
You're a guy, I'm a girl. I'm glad we have this cleared up.

Now, guy specific advice. I don't know how much you notice about girls' appearances, but if a girl starts to dress up and wear make up and try to look nicer in general after meeting/talking to you, there's a good chance she is interested in you and wants you to notice her. Girls also like to put their hands on guys' arms when flirting, just once or twice, to show that they're interested.
at, to, again, get the guy to notice how pretty she is. With girls, it's always: if you start noticing how good she looks, she's probably trying to get your attention.

What she said actually!

Also, compliment her shoes. Girls like that.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:20
You're a guy, I'm a girl. I'm glad we have this cleared up.


LOL


Now, guy specific advice. I don't know how much you notice about girls' appearances, but if a girl starts to dress up and wear make up and try to look nicer in general after meeting/talking to you, there's a good chance she is interested in you and wants you to notice her.


What if she's your friend and wears make up only to parties?


Girls also like to put their hands on guys' arms when flirting, just once or twice, to show that they're interested.


Hmm, after knowing eachother for awhile, they usually do that while talking or joking.


She may also play wi th her hair or twirl with her necklace or something like that, to, again, get the guy to notice how pretty she is. With girls, it's always: if you start noticing how good she looks, she's probably trying to get your attention.

Dont a lot of girls play with their hair anyways? You say, it's flirting?
I think a little longer than necessary look makes sense, let's see if I can catch that...
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 07:21
Ahh. That would make sense. Poor Europa. :( :fluffle:
Plus he was a sexy Ruski. :( No matter, I'm over him now. :D

So, any ways to pick up on if a guy is flirting with you?
Posi
06-02-2007, 07:22
What she said actually!

Also, compliment her shoes. Girls like that.
Don't ask what they had or breakfast. They think it's creepy.
The Black Forrest
06-02-2007, 07:23
Dont a lot of girls play with their hair anyways? You say, it's flirting?
I think a little longer than necessary look makes sense, let's see if I can catch that...

Sure they do. However, if she's near you or in your line of sight; it's a possibility she is interested.
Poitter
06-02-2007, 07:24
LOL

Hmm, after knowing eachother for awhile, they usually do that while talking or joking.

Dont a lot of girls play with their hair anyways? You say, it's flirting?
I think a little longer than necessary look makes sense, let's see if I can catch that...


dude you sound like a stud, all the girls you meet flirting with you touching your arm and playing with their hair, your in!!
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:25
LOL

What if she's your friend and wears make up only to parties?
Then she may or may not be interested in you. She may just not care enough about appearances to make a real effort. However, no matter what, women like to look good and be complimented on their looks.
Hmm, after knowing eachother for awhile, they usually do that while talking or joking.
Maybe. I suppose that one only applies to meeting new people, but extra physical contact can mean interest.
Dont a lot of girls play with their hair anyways? You say, it's flirting?
I think a little longer than necessary look makes sense, let's see if I can catch that...
There's a difference between playing with hair due to boredom/habit and playing with hair to grab the guy's attention. And honestly, no matter what they do or say, the looks are the most important hints. If you can master the looks, you don't even need the other hints.

PS. Is this about a specific girl?
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:31
Plus he was a sexy Ruski. :( No matter, I'm over him now. :D

So, any ways to pick up on if a guy is flirting with you?
A couple, but I don't know if they apply to gay guys as well. Guys, straight ones, anyway, tend to show off to get a girl's attention. This showing off appears in different forms. Some brag about how much they can benchpress, some brag about how smart they are, and some act like complete idiots that basically scream "LOOK AT ME!". In the older age groups, guys also like to show off their wealth (if they have anything), their smarts (if they have any), and their status in society (if they have any). Guys also compliment the girls they're trying to woo, and get physically closer. Again, all of this is from a straight girl's perspective, so I don't know how much of it applies to gay guys. I could ask my gay friend for pointers, but I'm much too lazy and he's not online. :p
Arthais101
06-02-2007, 07:33
A couple, but I don't know if they apply to gay guys as well. Guys, straight ones, anyway, tend to show off to get a girl's attention. This showing off appears in different forms. Some brag about how much they can benchpress, some brag about how smart they are, and some act like complete idiots that basically scream "LOOK AT ME!". In the older age groups, guys also like to show off their wealth (if they have anything), their smarts (if they have any), and their status in society (if they have any). Guys also compliment the girls they're trying to woo, and get physically closer. Again, all of this is from a straight girl's perspective, so I don't know how much of it applies to gay guys. I could ask my gay friend for pointers, but I'm much too lazy and he's not online. :p

what kind of idiots have you been hanging out with? I am not sure I remember the last time I lead off a conversation with "guess how much I can bench" or "hey baby, I'm a lawyer, and I went to Yale".

I usually try....talking to them. It's shockingly effective.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:35
dude you sound like a stud, all the girls you meet flirting with you touching your arm and playing with their hair, your in!!

It's not like they touch me with one hand and play with their hair with the other hand all the time. I've never thought about it because it felt natural. Like when you tell a joke and laugh so hard and touch someone (not in the ass) or like you touch someone's arm to get their attention when multiple people are talking...But thx...;)
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 07:37
what kind of idiots have you been hanging out with? I am not sure I remember the last time I lead off a conversation with "guess how much I can bench" or "hey baby, I'm a lawyer, and I went to Yale".

I usually try....talking to them. It's shockingly effective.
Maybe Canadian guys are braggarts? If she is single, I know no why... she has good reason to be. :p

One problem with me is that I prefer more introverted guys; being introverted myself, that does not help.
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:38
what kind of idiots have you been hanging out with? I am not sure I remember the last time I lead off a conversation with "guess how much I can bench" or "hey baby, I'm a lawyer, and I went to Yale".

I usually try....talking to them. It's shockingly effective.
You don't lead off a conversation with that, of course. But during a conversation, if a subject comes up, and you have know a lot about that subject, wouldn't you try to show the girl that you are knowledgeable?
Arthais101
06-02-2007, 07:40
You don't lead off a conversation with that, of course. But during a conversation, if a subject comes up, and you have know a lot about that subject, wouldn't you try to show the girl that you are knowledgeable?

I tend to know about the subjects that interest me. If they interest me I tend to want to talk about them. Thus I will discuss topics that I am knowledgeable in because, by nature of being knowledgeable, I am interested in them.

You know, you talk about what you like, I talk about what I like, you ask me questions, I ask you some, isn't that kinda how conversation goes?
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:40
Then she may or may not be interested in you. She may just not care enough about appearances to make a real effort. However, no matter what, women like to look good and be complimented on their looks.

Maybe. I suppose that one only applies to meeting new people, but extra physical contact can mean interest.

There's a difference between playing with hair due to boredom/habit and playing with hair to grab the guy's attention. And honestly, no matter what they do or say, the looks are the most important hints. If you can master the looks, you don't even need the other hints.

PS. Is this about a specific girl?

Yeah. I guess I can be direct and talk to her but I've grown up with the "play it cool" way rather than the direct approach.
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 07:42
I tend to know about the subjects that interest me. If they interest me I tend to want to talk about them. Thus I will discuss topics that I am knowledgeable in because, by nature of being knowledgeable, I am interested in them.

You know, you talk about what you like, I talk about what I like, you ask me questions, I ask you some, isn't that kinda how conversation goes?
Pretty much. You can usually tell when someone is merely trying to impress by their affected tone, as opposed to when they're genuinely interested in something. Some people can conceal it though, I suppose.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:43
I tend to know about the subjects that interest me. If they interest me I tend to want to talk about them. Thus I will discuss topics that I am knowledgeable in because, by nature of being knowledgeable, I am interested in them.

You know, you talk about what you like, I talk about what I like, you ask me questions, I ask you some, isn't that kinda how conversation goes?

Yeah and you do that with everyone, not just people whom you are sexually interested in...
Soheran
06-02-2007, 07:44
You don't lead off a conversation with that, of course. But during a conversation, if a subject comes up, and you have know a lot about that subject, wouldn't you try to show the girl that you are knowledgeable?

Yeah... or make a clever joke, or something along those lines. You have us nailed.

My problem is, I stop there - usually the people I'm attracted to, male or female, end up casual friends and nothing more.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:45
Maybe Canadian guys are braggarts? ...

*coughs*
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:45
I tend to know about the subjects that interest me. If they interest me I tend to want to talk about them. Thus I will discuss topics that I am knowledgeable in because, by nature of being knowledgeable, I am interested in them.

You know, you talk about what you like, I talk about what I like, you ask me questions, I ask you some, isn't that kinda how conversation goes?
You're approaching this from a meeting new person and just talking to see if anything happens perspective. I was speaking from the perspective that a guy likes a girl, and is trying to get the girl to like him back.
Arthais101
06-02-2007, 07:46
Yeah and you do that with everyone, not just people whom you are sexually interested in...

of course. A good conversation is a good conversation. A good conversation with a good looking girl is a good conversation with the potential for more.

Really, people put so much pressure on everything. How to flirt, how to know if he's flirting, what to say, what to do.

It's simple, really. Smile, be honest, be genuine, be attentive, be fun. They will either like you for who you are, or they will not.

If they do, great. If not, then they don't. Nothing in the world of interpersonal relationships can be forced, and nothing should be. It's all a matter of just relaxing, and being yourself.
MrWho
06-02-2007, 07:46
I think some other ways in which people may generally be flirting is if they go out of their way to help you even if you don't ask them to and usually with an unusual amount of enthusiasm. Another might be when someone is glancing at you. Such as when you are in class and they are looking at you out of the corner of their eye and when you turn to look at them they turn away quickly.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 07:50
of course. A good conversation is a good conversation. A good conversation with a good looking girl is a good conversation with the potential for more.

Really, people put so much pressure on everything. How to flirt, how to know if he's flirting, what to say, what to do.

It's simple, really. Smile, be honest, be genuine, be attentive, be fun. They will either like you for who you are, or they will not.

If they do, great. If not, then they don't. Nothing in the world of interpersonal relationships can be forced, and nothing should be. It's all a matter of just relaxing, and being yourself.

It's more fun when people keeps you guessing tho...
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 07:52
Yeah. I guess I can be direct and talk to her but I've grown up with the "play it cool" way rather than the direct approach.
Well, the 'play it cool' method works well, but you have to show her you're interested first.
of course. A good conversation is a good conversation. A good conversation with a good looking girl is a good conversation with the potential for more.

Really, people put so much pressure on everything. How to flirt, how to know if he's flirting, what to say, what to do.

It's simple, really. Smile, be honest, be genuine, be attentive, be fun. They will either like you for who you are, or they will not.

If they do, great. If not, then they don't. Nothing in the world of interpersonal relationships can be forced, and nothing should be. It's all a matter of just relaxing, and being yourself.
Look, I agree with you that some people get too uptight about relationships and flirting, but you can't deny that being able to show another person that you're interested and attract that person's attention is important.
Cannot think of a name
06-02-2007, 08:49
You're a guy, I'm a girl. I'm glad we have this cleared up.

Now, guy specific advice. I don't know how much you notice about girls' appearances, but if a girl starts to dress up and wear make up and try to look nicer in general after meeting/talking to you, there's a good chance she is interested in you and wants you to notice her. Girls also like to put their hands on guys' arms when flirting, just once or twice, to show that they're interested. She may also play with her hair or twirl with her necklace or something like that, to, again, get the guy to notice how pretty she is. With girls, it's always: if you start noticing how good she looks, she's probably trying to get your attention.
Wow do I suck.

I tell a lot of jokes and when chicks would laugh too much I'd get creeped out.

I would also complain about elbow touchers...chicks who would laugh and then touch the inside of my elbow.

If a chick I knew showed up suddenly all dolled up I'd chuckle and say, "You're a girl..."

It just goes on.

So, for the sake of my dignity I'm going to assume that this isn't true, or at least only half of the story or something.
The Brevious
06-02-2007, 09:01
So how do you understand?
Well, a macro-head with a micro-brain might have a pretty good angle on it ...

Words come later. It is the scent that first speaks of love.
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 09:04
Well, a macro-head with a micro-brain might have a pretty good angle on it ...
*sniffs thread*

It smells...odd in here, like...old gym bags. :p



Long time no talk, dear. How are you?
The Brevious
06-02-2007, 09:05
*sniffs thread*

It smells...odd in here, like...old gym bags. :p



Long time no talk, dear. How are you?
Busier than usual. MUCH. But we're getting a spring tease here ... 48 degrees!
...and everything's flooding. WooT!
How 'bout you?
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 09:07
Busier than usual. MUCH. But we're getting a spring tease here ... 48 degrees!
...and everything's flooding. WooT!
How 'bout you?
Our flooding period's over. We had floods over the Christmas break.
I just finished exams, and second semester is starting tomorrow...er...today. I am also currently trying to write 6 essays for university applications. Joy, eh? :rolleyes:
The Brevious
06-02-2007, 09:11
Our flooding period's over. We had floods over the Christmas break.
I just finished exams, and second semester is starting tomorrow...er...today. I am also currently trying to write 6 essays for university applications. Joy, eh? :rolleyes:

I wouldn't use any of us as references :P

Well, maybe ... no, maybe not, on second thought, Ruffy.

I can bs my way through an essay pretty easily ... seems to me that's how i got through a lot of high school, and a few college tests ... good luck to you on that!
Anywhere in the NW, or as far as you can get away from there?
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 09:13
I wouldn't use any of us as references :P

Well, maybe ... no, maybe not, on second thought, Ruffy.

I can bs my way through an essay pretty easily ... seems to me that's how i got through a lot of high school, and a few college tests ... good luck to you on that!
Anywhere in the NW, or as far as you can get away from there?
I shudder to think what Ruffy's reference would consist of... I wouldn't put it past him to write it while drunk. :eek:

Yeah, I bs'ed and asked a friend to look it over. Now I have to edit the whole thing. :mad:

I'll either end up in Vancouver, Edmonton, or Waterloo. I'm leaning towards the furthest one at the moment. :p
The Brevious
06-02-2007, 09:21
I shudder to think what Ruffy's reference would consist of... I wouldn't put it past him to write it while drunk. :eek:

Yeah, I bs'ed and asked a friend to look it over. Now I have to edit the whole thing. :mad:

I'll either end up in Vancouver, Edmonton, or Waterloo. I'm leaning towards the furthest one at the moment. :p
Napoleon's Waterloo? :eek:

Ruffy does good work when he needs to. Extensive, exhaustive, slightly obsessive work, but good work nonetheless :p
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 09:25
Napoleon's Waterloo? :eek:

Ruffy does good work when he needs to. Extensive, exhaustive, slightly obsessive work, but good work nonetheless :p
No, Canada's Waterloo. It's a university town in Ontario, far far away from the west coast.

Ruffy? Extensive? I thought he would just slap some random words together and call it a reference! :p
The Brevious
06-02-2007, 09:27
No, Canada's Waterloo. It's a university town in Ontario, far far away from the west coast.

Ruffy? Extensive? I thought he would just slap some random words together and call it a reference! :p
Oh yeah, he does that too, and he adds up a whole bunch of letters together in an irritating fashion ...
but if there's cellular tissue at issue, or something he can manipulate, he's totally in the game. *nods emphatically*

I personally wouldn't want to go too far from the coast ... but you'd be closer to one of those really cool impact craters you can see from space there, wouldn't you? :)

Gotta jet, Collateral ... talk to you soon, and good luck with the apps!
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 09:29
Oh yeah, he does that too, and he adds up a whole bunch of letters together in an irritating fashion ...
but if there's cellular tissue at issue, or something he can manipulate, he's totally in the game. *nods emphatically*

I personally wouldn't want to go too far from the coast ... but you'd be closer to one of those really cool impact craters you can see from space there, wouldn't you? :)

Gotta jet, Collateral ... talk to you soon, and good luck with the apps!
Yeah, but I prefer to go to the boss for the real work to be done. ;)

Thank you. Good night.
Risottia
06-02-2007, 10:44
A girl is clearly flirting with me if:

1.She seems genuinely interested in my long logorrhoical speeches about politics, music, computers, gaming, physics and railways.
2.She keeps up with my normal walking pace (I'm notorious for walking quite fast) to keep talking with me.
3.She enjoys eating with me at low-budget inns instead of expensive haute-cuisine restaurants.
4.She puts up with my infamous policy of having my mobile phone usually shut down and answering SMSs hours after I've received them.
5.She doesn't complain about my hate for disco clubs and dancing.
6.She doesn't complain about my 17-years-old VW Polo, or my preference for going around with public transportation at night instead of going by car.

...

You know, after you've ruled out the impossible, the remnant, although unlikely, is the truth...
Risottia
06-02-2007, 10:49
What if she's your friend and wears make up only to parties?


I don't know a single girl that doesn't wear make-up... wait, I know one, but she's a sort of christian fundie and engaged.
The Infinite Dunes
06-02-2007, 11:18
Are you a guy?

There are some gender neutral pointers. The person is into you if the person you're talking to pays special attention to every word you're saying, and remembers little details that you've only mentioned. The person would laugh at all of your jokes, and makes an effort to communicate with you at every opportunity. That person may also try to get physically closer than a normal friend would stay from you. The person would also smile more at you. But in the end, I'm sorry to say this, but "the look" is the most important hint, like if that person's eyes always linger on you for a little longer than needed. Start with these. I'll come up with more later.Oooh... That explains a lot... I tend to be like that with pretty much anyone (except the getting closer - but not always). Most of the time I'm just attempting to be friendly.

When people are flirting with me I don't notice anything less subtle than being hit over the head with a club a la the trolls of Terry Pratchett's Discworld.
Similization
06-02-2007, 11:21
When people are flirting with me I don't notice anything less subtle than being hit over the head with a club a la the trolls of Terry Pratchett's Discworld.When you notice, if you can't figure out what's what, go watch a vid with the person. If it watches you more than the vid, you have an admirer.
Cabra West
06-02-2007, 11:24
I normally can tell when they're trying to look me in the eyes, but end up staring at my cleavage every few minutes, until they remember the eyes again... :D
Similization
06-02-2007, 11:28
I normally can tell when they're trying to look me in the eyes, but end up staring at my cleavage every few minutes, until they remember the eyes again... :DPics, thanks ;)
The Infinite Dunes
06-02-2007, 11:37
When you notice, if you can't figure out what's what, go watch a vid with the person. If it watches you more than the vid, you have an admirer.Jeebus, by the standards of this thread I am the most flirtatious slut ever. Though when I'm looking at someone during a video it's because I'm talking to them.

Bah, social etiquette sucks.
Similization
06-02-2007, 11:44
Jeebus, by the standards of this thread I am the most flirtatious slut ever. Though when I'm looking at someone during a video it's because I'm talking to them.

Bah, social etiquette sucks.The vid thing's just a suggestion for nervous wankers too scared to actually talk with eachother. It's not something I'd personally class as flirting at all.

Incidently, what's wrong with sluts?
Cabra West
06-02-2007, 11:49
Incidently, what's wrong with sluts?

Nothing. I'm a proud example of the species.
The Infinite Dunes
06-02-2007, 12:03
The vid thing's just a suggestion for nervous wankers too scared to actually talk with eachother. It's not something I'd personally class as flirting at all.

Incidently, what's wrong with sluts?Nothing probably. But for me slut being bad is socially ingrained. Like how some people thing sex before marridge is wrong.

Perhaps I should get a t-shirt that displays my social ineptitude.
Similization
06-02-2007, 12:16
Nothing probably. But for me slut being bad is socially ingrained. Like how some people thing sex before marridge is wrong.To me, it always seems that people using slut as a negative, only ever use it to describe someone who they'd like to fuck(over), but who isn't stupid enough to let them. Sort of like "Fuck! I couldn't con you, so I'll have to settle for namecalling." So to me, that makes being a slut far better than not being one.

Perhaps I should get a t-shirt that displays my social ineptitude.I'm gonna get flamed for this, but.. How emo :p
Pompous world
06-02-2007, 14:32
when they laugh saying you have a great sense of humour even though you havent cracked any jokes
Ifreann
06-02-2007, 14:42
If they live long enough to call the police and an ambulance afterwards, they weren't flirting.
Damaske
06-02-2007, 15:07
I usually play around with a guy alot. As in joking with him..throwing little paper balls at him..deliberately bumping into him (like walking up to him and giving a nudge). I will also tend to listen to him alot and remember little details.
Catalasia
06-02-2007, 15:17
If you live long enough to call the police and an ambulance afterwards, they weren't flirting.

Fix'd.
New Ritlina
06-02-2007, 16:06
Give me some pointers. Of course I can tell if people are obvious, but you know that not everyone is obvious all the time. Note that, where I live, people are really friendly so it's kinda hard to differentiate friendliness from flirtiness. Talking with strangers is usually ok, to a degree. Some people say they can understand from "the look" but I'm kinda lazy, I usually get the first move from other side, so I havent developed that. So I dont know if "the look" is that look or if it's a too much alcohol / weed look or whatever....
So how do you understand?

Dude, you're asking the Generalites? The people who are probably the MOST romantically naive people around? Wow.

Also: I have no idea. Even when people are giving me the most obvious signals they're flirting with me (Yes, it does actually happen to me sometimes), I simply can't receive them.
Northern Borders
06-02-2007, 16:11
Cabra West -> The Win.

Anyway, flirting is all about body language.

Hints she is flirting with you:

- She looks into your eyes a lot of times, for a long time.
- Her body is facing you straight.
- She laughs even at your most stupid jokes. Sometimes you dont even need to joke, she just laughs for no reason at all.
- She touches your arm, hands or body for no special reason at all, either while laughing or making a point.
- She doesnt care you touch her (even if non-intentional, like you´re standing side by side, your arm is touching her boobs and she doesnt move, or sitting side by side touching legs or arms).
- She asks questions. Yes, most women are atention whores and start talking about themselves non-stop and never ask anything about you. A woman interested in you asks about things you like, what you do, your family etc.

Hints she loaths/hate/is not interested (mainly the oposite):
- She looks far beyond you, doesnt make eye contact and just stares towards nothing.
- Her body is facing sideways, like in a 45° angle or more.
- She doesnt laugh or smile at what you say, and hardly give good answers.
- She doesnt touch you, and make sure you dont touch her. In fact, she will probabily try to keep as much distance as possible.
- Doesnt answer questions, dont ask questions.

About touching and flirting as a guy. If you´re a guy, a good way to feel how the woman is reacting is to grab her hand and play with it. Just find a reason for it, and hopes you´re funny enough and she allows you. I sometimes say I can find out a lot of things about a person if I feel their hands, and sometimes I grab her hand and study and play with it and say stupid stuff just to make her laugh.

Also, if you have no clue if she wants you to kiss her, look into her eyes then look at her lips, if she keeps looking at your eyes, touch her hair softly, then touch her ear, and if she keeps looking at you, just go and kiss. If she rejects any of the steps, she isnt willing right now, or she may be shy or just inst in the mood. But if she lets you touch her ear you´re granted.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 16:28
I don't know a single girl that doesn't wear make-up... wait, I know one, but she's a sort of christian fundie and engaged.

Where are you from?
The Infinite Dunes
06-02-2007, 16:29
To me, it always seems that people using slut as a negative, only ever use it to describe someone who they'd like to fuck(over), but who isn't stupid enough to let them. Sort of like "Fuck! I couldn't con you, so I'll have to settle for namecalling." So to me, that makes being a slut far better than not being one.Perhaps... I can't remember the last time I used the word. I seem to remember that it used to annoy me that stud and slut mean different things simply because they refer to males and females respectively.

I'm gonna get flamed for this, but.. How emo :pThis, I cannot let pass. Though to engage in an outright denial would be counterproductive. As such I shall have to be nonchalant and blase. The intent really was to be humourous rather than anything else.

Emo? Oh my... that just reminded me of something. Haha, my livejournal is still up after over 3 years of inactivity. Excuse me while I go laugh hysterically at my past.
Neo Undelia
06-02-2007, 16:30
If someone's flirting with you, you'll be able to tell.
If you can't, it doesn't matter anyway.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 16:31
I shudder to think what Ruffy's reference would consist of... I wouldn't put it past him to write it while drunk. :eek:

Yeah, I bs'ed and asked a friend to look it over. Now I have to edit the whole thing. :mad:

I'll either end up in Vancouver, Edmonton, or Waterloo. I'm leaning towards the furthest one at the moment. :p

Alberta is much colder than BC or Ontario. Vancouver is the biggest city, it'll be more expensive but more fun. And it's climate is the mildest in Canada...
Sparse
06-02-2007, 16:33
Give me some pointers. Of course I can tell if people are obvious, but you know that not everyone is obvious all the time. Note that, where I live, people are really friendly so it's kinda hard to differentiate friendliness from flirtiness. Talking with strangers is usually ok, to a degree. Some people say they can understand from "the look" but I'm kinda lazy, I usually get the first move from other side, so I havent developed that. So I dont know if "the look" is that look or if it's a too much alcohol / weed look or whatever....
So how do you understand?

Question: Can you tell if they're flirting with others? Cause if so, it could just be a confidence thing with you. ;) <--not flirting.
Infinite Revolution
06-02-2007, 16:35
i'm ususally too drunk to remember anything by the time i get to the point where i might be flirting with someone so i wouldn't know how to tell either. being drunk is so much easier.
Catalasia
06-02-2007, 16:36
Dude, you're asking the Generalites? The people who are probably the MOST romantically naive people around? Wow.
Not only that! Some of us aren't even virgins anymore! There are even a few married people!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

The things you learn every day in here... I tell you!
Northern Borders
06-02-2007, 16:38
i'm ususally too drunk to remember anything by the time i get to the point where i might be flirting with someone so i wouldn't know how to tell either. being drunk is so much easier.

Yes, but do you actually kiss someone while drunk?
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 16:39
You know she was flirting with you when she gives birth to your child.
Catalasia
06-02-2007, 16:48
ah yes, I completely forgot.

Someone might be flirting with you if:

1) He/she is naked;
2) He/she has ever kissed, or attempted to kiss, you on any part of your body;
3) He/she has attempted to place certain other body parts in close proximity to your primary or secondary sex characteristics;
4) He/she has uttered phrases such as "Let's fuck";
5) He/she has assumed any provocative or erotic poses;

... and so on.

Someone might not be flirting with you if:

1) He/she has called the police;
2) You are wallowing on the floor in a pool of your own blood;
3) He/she is no longer on the premises;
4) If female, she has filed a paternity suit against you;
5) He/she has ever urinated or defecated on your face;

... etc.
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 16:49
5) He/she has ever urinated or defecated on your face;

Some people actually get off on that. :eek:
Infinite Revolution
06-02-2007, 16:50
Yes, but do you actually kiss someone while drunk?

yes, every kiss i've ever had has been when i was drunk. at least i assume we kissed at some point before i wake up next to them in their bed with all my clothes off. sometimes i remember it clearly but most times not.
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 16:52
yes, every kiss i've ever had has been when i was drunk. at least i assume we kissed at some point before i wake up next to them in their bed with all my clothes off. sometimes i remember it clearly but most times not.

Do you remember the part where you climb in through the bedroom window in the middle of the night?
Infinite Revolution
06-02-2007, 16:54
Do you remember the part where you climb in through the bedroom window in the middle of the night?

LOL, actually no, but i did come home once covered in mud and twigs with my jeans ripped to shreds, fuck knows what happened that night. but i've not yet had anyone suprised to see me lying next to them in bed so i assume i was invited :p.
Catalasia
06-02-2007, 16:56
Some people actually get off on that. :eek:

Yes, hence the "might".

In general, though, it's a bad sign.
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 16:58
Cabra West -> The Win.

Anyway, flirting is all about body language.

Hints she is flirting with you:

- She looks into your eyes a lot of times, for a long time.
- Her body is facing you straight.
- She laughs even at your most stupid jokes. Sometimes you dont even need to joke, she just laughs for no reason at all.
- She touches your arm, hands or body for no special reason at all, either while laughing or making a point.
- She doesnt care you touch her (even if non-intentional, like you´re standing side by side, your arm is touching her boobs and she doesnt move, or sitting side by side touching legs or arms).
- She asks questions. Yes, most women are atention whores and start talking about themselves non-stop and never ask anything about you. A woman interested in you asks about things you like, what you do, your family etc.


Comes down to eyes/looks, eh? Most of these stuff seems to be also applicable to friends, tho, I admit I've never thought about the angle of the body thing...Or maybe there is no such thing as opposite sex friends?


Hints she loaths/hate/is not interested (mainly the oposite):
- She looks far beyond you, doesnt make eye contact and just stares towards nothing.
- Her body is facing sideways, like in a 45° angle or more.
- She doesnt laugh or smile at what you say, and hardly give good answers.
- She doesnt touch you, and make sure you dont touch her. In fact, she will probabily try to keep as much distance as possible.
- Doesnt answer questions, dont ask questions.

About touching and flirting as a guy. If you´re a guy, a good way to feel how the woman is reacting is to grab her hand and play with it. Just find a reason for it, and hopes you´re funny enough and she allows you. I sometimes say I can find out a lot of things about a person if I feel their hands, and sometimes I grab her hand and study and play with it and say stupid stuff just to make her laugh.

Also, if you have no clue if she wants you to kiss her, look into her eyes then look at her lips, if she keeps looking at your eyes, touch her hair softly, then touch her ear, and if she keeps looking at you, just go and kiss. If she rejects any of the steps, she isnt willing right now, or she may be shy or just inst in the mood. But if she lets you touch her ear you´re granted.

For me, it's usually after the first date, and after that you can kiss her usually anytime...
After first date tho, it happens after awkward looks. Havent done the touch hair, ears steps BEFORE the kiss...
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 16:59
LOL, actually no, but i did come home once covered in mud and twigs with my jeans ripped to shreds, fuck knows what happened that night.

Somebody made you angry...

http://www.vandaagdedag.nl/log/archives/hulk.jpg
Northern Borders
06-02-2007, 16:59
yes, every kiss i've ever had has been when i was drunk. at least i assume we kissed at some point before i wake up next to them in their bed with all my clothes off. sometimes i remember it clearly but most times not.

I guess you´re lucky, because around here every women hate drunk guys (at least the older ones).

If you do find one who does, you usually wake around naked and an unvoluntary organ doner.
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 17:00
I guess you´re lucky, because around here every women hate drunk guys (at least the older ones).

If you do find one who does, you usually wake around naked and an unvoluntary organ doner.

So that's where that kidney went...
Infinite Revolution
06-02-2007, 17:06
I guess you´re lucky, because around here every women hate drunk guys (at least the older ones).

If you do find one who does, you usually wake around naked and an unvoluntary organ doner.

well, everyone's drunk around here, women, men, organ donors, surgeons. it's cold outside, we don't go anywhere without our beer-jackets :)
Northern Borders
06-02-2007, 17:07
Comes down to eyes/looks, eh? Most of these stuff seems to be also applicable to friends, tho, I admit I've never thought about the angle of the body thing...Or maybe there is no such thing as opposite sex friends?



For me, it's usually after the first date, and after that you can kiss her usually anytime...
After first date tho, it happens after awkward looks. Havent done the touch hair, ears steps BEFORE the kiss...

Yes, they do aplicate to friends. But the deal here is that you go to a woman you´ve never seen before, and in 5 minutes she is acting like she knew you her entire life.

About oposite sex friendship, I dont believe in that. Why? Because you NEVER should want to have sex with your friend. That is why women are acquaintances, unless they are so ugly you dont want to have sex with them (which means dead ugly).
Infinite Revolution
06-02-2007, 17:08
Somebody made you angry...

http://www.vandaagdedag.nl/log/archives/hulk.jpg

could be! i do have a vague recollection of an argument with the traffic :D
Catalasia
06-02-2007, 17:13
About oposite sex friendship, I dont believe in that. Why? Because you NEVER should want to have sex with your friend. That is why women are acquaintances, unless they are so ugly you dont want to have sex with them (which means dead ugly).

Um. You do know it's possible for males not to be attracted to every breathing member of their preferred sex, right?
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 17:13
Yes, they do aplicate to friends. But the deal here is that you go to a woman you´ve never seen before, and in 5 minutes she is acting like she knew you her entire life.

About oposite sex friendship, I dont believe in that. Why? Because you NEVER should want to have sex with your friend. That is why women are acquaintances, unless they are so ugly you dont want to have sex with them (which means dead ugly).

So, you dont believe in friendship+ neither? That's one of the best concepts ever...
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 17:13
could be! i do have a vague recollection of an argument with the traffic :D

Or maybe there was a full moon that night...

http://www.darkwebonline.com/images/american%20werewolf.gif
LiberationFrequency
06-02-2007, 17:17
The last girl who flirted with me, came along sat on my lap and said I was beatiful!

And she wasn't even drunk
Northern Borders
06-02-2007, 17:18
So, you dont believe in friendship+ neither? That's one of the best concepts ever...

Well, I guess you got me.
Dinaverg
06-02-2007, 17:19
*takes extensive notes*

I can see myself doing most of these things...
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 17:22
The last girl who flirted with me, came along sat on my lap and said I was beatiful!

And she wasn't even drunk

Did her seeing-eye dog get jealous? :p
Nova Magna Germania
06-02-2007, 17:29
The last girl who flirted with me, came along sat on my lap and said I was beatiful!

And she wasn't even drunk

LOL. Was she hot?
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 17:34
LOL. Was she hot?

She probably broke both of his legs when she sat on his lap. :p
Ifreann
06-02-2007, 17:51
She probably broke both of his legs when she sat on his lap. :p

Cluich sounds jealous.
Nationalian
06-02-2007, 17:55
Give me some pointers. Of course I can tell if people are obvious, but you know that not everyone is obvious all the time. Note that, where I live, people are really friendly so it's kinda hard to differentiate friendliness from flirtiness. Talking with strangers is usually ok, to a degree. Some people say they can understand from "the look" but I'm kinda lazy, I usually get the first move from other side, so I havent developed that. So I dont know if "the look" is that look or if it's a too much alcohol / weed look or whatever....
So how do you understand?

People don't flirt with me so I don't have to tell if they do or if they don't.
Nobel Hobos
06-02-2007, 18:11
Are you a guy?

There are some gender neutral pointers. The person is into you if the person you're talking to pays special attention to every word you're saying, and remembers little details that you've only mentioned. The person would laugh at all of your jokes, and makes an effort to communicate with you at every opportunity. That person may also try to get physically closer than a normal friend would stay from you. The person would also smile more at you. But in the end, I'm sorry to say this, but "the look" is the most important hint, like if that person's eyes always linger on you for a little longer than needed. Start with these. I'll come up with more later.

I agree 100 %. Can't think of anything to add, either.
Make that 120 %.
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 18:13
Cluich sounds jealous.

Nah, just being my usual jackass self. ;)
Risottia
06-02-2007, 18:29
Where are you from?

Milano, Italy.
Europa Maxima
06-02-2007, 19:41
If someone's flirting with you, you'll be able to tell.
If you can't, it doesn't matter anyway.
What if you misinterpret the signals though? :)
Kiryu-shi
06-02-2007, 20:37
I don't know a single girl that doesn't wear make-up... wait, I know one, but she's a sort of christian fundie and engaged.

I only saw my ex wear makeup once, for Junior Prom. She's neither Christian or a fundie, and is very beautiful. I actually know a lot of girls who don't regularly wear make up. Maybe upwards of a quarter of the girls at my old high school didn't wear make-up.

For the OP, I agree with Ladame's first couple of posts.
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 20:47
Alberta is much colder than BC or Ontario. Vancouver is the biggest city, it'll be more expensive but more fun. And it's climate is the mildest in Canada...
I live in Victoria. I just need to get away for now...to a place that's not just a ferry ride away. *looks towards Ontario*
Posi
06-02-2007, 20:49
I live in Victoria. I just need to get away for now...to a place that's not just a ferry ride away. *looks towards Ontario*
Shouldn't you be at school?
Ladamesansmerci
06-02-2007, 20:54
Shouldn't you be at school?
I should be doing a lot of things.


And WTF is up with your sig? :eek: :mad: :( :headbang:
OcceanDrive2
06-02-2007, 20:56
And WTF is up with your sig? :eek: :mad: :( :headbang:*hint*
he/she is flirting with you.
Posi
06-02-2007, 20:56
I should be doing a lot of things.


And WTF is up with your sig? :eek: :mad: :( :headbang:
Well, so should I, so I'll quit being an ass.


It was inspired by Ruffi.
Posi
06-02-2007, 20:57
*hint*
he/she is flirting with you.

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK I MIGHT BE A CHICK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
OcceanDrive2
06-02-2007, 21:02
WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK I MIGHT BE A CHICK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?because I did not receive your picture yet. ;) besides this is the internet.

the key word is might
Infinite Revolution
06-02-2007, 21:46
because I did not receive your picture yet. ;) besides this is the internet.

the key word is might

i've just noticed you've quoted me in your sig! i don't even remember posting that. was it a while ago?

edit: i just followed the little arrow thing, and there i am! and there's some links - yay!
Poliwanacraca
06-02-2007, 21:59
Well, I frequently hang out with fairly geeky guys, who are not necessarily known for their social competence. Thus, "flirting with me" and "overtly staring at my boobs" are often synonymous. :p

Or maybe there is no such thing as opposite sex friends?

There is certainly such a thing as opposite-sex friends. In fact, the majority of my close friends are male, and I have no desire to sleep with any of them. (And no, before anyone asks, they're not all ugly or gay. The majority of them are neither.)
Gartref
06-02-2007, 22:33
...There is certainly such a thing as opposite-sex friends. In fact, the majority of my close friends are male, and I have no desire to sleep with any of them...)

But they all want to sleep with you.
Poliwanacraca
06-02-2007, 22:44
But they all want to sleep with you.

...admittedly, most of them have expressed just that at some point. But since they are aware that that will never happen, and still continue hanging out with me and presumably enjoying my company, I think they still count as platonic friends. :p
Cluichstan
06-02-2007, 22:45
...admittedly, most of them have expressed just that at some point. But since they are aware that that will never happen, and still continue hanging out with me and presumably enjoying my company, I think they still count as platonic friends. :p

I prefer Socratic or Aristotelian friends. :p
Luporum
06-02-2007, 22:56
Tell a bad joke and if they laugh then they're the following:

a) Flirting

b) Stupid and will put out.

It's win win.
Farnhamia
06-02-2007, 23:28
I prefer Socratic or Aristotelian friends. :p

Neoplatonism!
OcceanDrive2
07-02-2007, 00:52
i've just noticed you've quoted me in your sig! i don't even remember posting that. was it a while ago?

edit: i just followed the little arrow thing, and there i am! and there's some links - yay!yeah it was a while ago.. they are always asking me for links.. so I siged your post :)
Infinite Revolution
07-02-2007, 04:24
yeah it was a while ago.. they are always asking me for links.. so I siged your post :)

fairy nuff ;)
Nova Magna Germania
07-02-2007, 23:08
I live in Victoria. I just need to get away for now...to a place that's not just a ferry ride away. *looks towards Ontario*

Oh...thought you were from the states...
Ladamesansmerci
08-02-2007, 00:28
Oh...thought you were from the states...
Moi? AMERICAN????? :eek:


I'm going to go shower in acid now. :p
Nova Magna Germania
08-02-2007, 08:21
Moi? AMERICAN????? :eek:


I'm going to go shower in acid now. :p

LOL. I know! I'm so sorry! :D

And I totally understand how you feel about going some place else for college. That's what I was feeling last year. And I'm actually from MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, Saskatchewan, not some place like Victoria...
Glorious Freedonia
08-02-2007, 19:46
When her hand drops to your crotch and starts maniacally manipulating your member it's flirting.

When she slaps you and screams for the police, it's not.

Beyond that I can't help you. Just working with what I got, you know?

You know this is pretty much how it works for me too. I have no ability to pick up subtler flirting on my radar. That combined with the fact that I am a fat ass probably explains why I never really scored very well with the ladies.
Ladamesansmerci
11-02-2007, 06:17
LOL. I know! I'm so sorry! :D

And I totally understand how you feel about going some place else for college. That's what I was feeling last year. And I'm actually from MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, Saskatchewan, not some place like Victoria...
Saskatchewan? *refrains from making a flat joke*

I'm sorry, but your lovely province is the butt of almost all flat jokes here.

Well, Victoria's REALLY nice, but getting away from your parents sounds like so much fun. mmmmm...dorms. :D
Zarakon
11-02-2007, 06:23
Tell a bad joke and if they laugh then they're the following:

a) Flirting

b) Stupid and will put out.

It's win win.

Four men walk into a bar. The fifth one ducked.