NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, everyone gather around, I have big news, I've finally met a gal that I finally feel comfortable enough to make love to. My twenty three years of virginity will come to an end real soon. I know I know, but there's just one little thing I'm wondering about. Now she's on birth control, and I will be buying a box of condoms, however, I was wondering how much of a risk we'd be taking if I decided to try it one time without a condom, just to see what it feels like. Is it too big of a risk? Neither one of us want to have children right now, and abortion is out of the question, so what say ye, NSG?

If she's been on birth control for a while it shouldn't be a huge risk. When did she last have her period? If it was just a few days or a week ago, you might want to hold off, even with the birth control.

By the way, good job. It's good to hear that one of us longtime virgins is getting some. Now I just need it to be me.

If she's been on birth control for a while it shouldn't be a huge risk. When did she last have her period? If it was just a few days or a week ago, you might want to hold off, even with the birth control.

By the way, good job. It's good to hear that one of us longtime virgins is getting some. Now I just need it to be me.

Well it was no easy task, trust me I had plenty of time to lose it, but well, call me a dork, an idiot, or whatever, but I want my first time to be special, and with that special person.

Well it was no easy task, trust me I had plenty of time to lose it, but well, call me a dork, an idiot, or whatever, but I want my first time to be special, and with that special person.

Say your a doctor. :p :fluffle:

Well it was no easy task, trust me I had plenty of time to lose it, but well, call me a dork, an idiot, or whatever, but I want my first time to be special, and with that special person.

Dillhole.

EDIT: My god, FF's spell checker is the worst I've ever seen. I gotta get Aspell setup.

Use a condom, regardless of whether or not she is on birth control. BC doesn't prevent STDs.

Well it was no easy task, trust me I had plenty of time to lose it, but well, call me a dork, an idiot, or whatever, but I want my first time to be special, and with that special person.

What I meant to convey is that I'm still a virgin too, and was basically saying "go team!" though being a virgin by choice is probably better than my situation, being a virgin by circumstance.

Use a condom, regardless of whether or not she is on birth control. BC doesn't prevent STDs.
This is a good point, though if she is also a virgin you should be ok. Otherwise, you could always ask her to get STD screening.

Use a condom, regardless of whether or not she is on birth control. BC doesn't prevent STDs.

She gets a Pap every once in awhile, I don't know how often she gets it, but every time she gets a pap, it comes out clean so...and yes, they do check for HIV/AIDS.

She gets a Pap every once in awhile, I don't know how often she gets it, but every time she gets a pap, it comes out clean so...and yes, they do check for HIV/AIDS.

Still use a condom.

lol, virgin.

Whatever you do, don't accidentally stick it in her pooper.

If you're going to put it in her pooper, make sure to do it on purpose. And with surprise if possible.

lol, virgin.

Whatever you do, don't accidentally stick it in her pooper.

If you're going to put it in her pooper, make sure to do it on purpose. And with surprise if possible.I not even sure Lunatic Golfballs would say that.. lol.

Ok, everyone gather around, I have big news, I've finally met a gal that I finally feel comfortable enough to make love to. My twenty three years of virginity will come to an end real soon. I know I know, but there's just one little thing I'm wondering about. Now she's on birth control, and I will be buying a box of condoms, however, I was wondering how much of a risk we'd be taking if I decided to try it one time without a condom, just to see what it feels like. Is it too big of a risk? Neither one of us want to have children right now, and abortion is out of the question, so what say ye, NSG?

Is she healthy? How many partners did she have? If you trust her and if she is on the pill, go for it stud :D

MY knee jerk reaction -> Good lord.. wear the rubber.. no telling where she's been.

Plus .. if you start going bareback without being in a serious long-term relationship with someone you have some experience with and get spoiled to having sex without a condom, you are more likely to not want to use them with others. Is she on birth control for cramps/menstrual regularity etc. or for birth control period.. or for added protection from pregnancy along with the men always wearing a condom? If she lets you not use a condom.. does that mean she lets other guys have sex with her without one? Or are you special cause you're a virgin? Have you talked with her about not using one? Or are you assuming it will be welcomed?

IMO it's too much of a risk. But of course I don't know this person. Better to be safe than sorry. It being your first time, it's going to feel good to you no matter what... 5 condoms or 1.

I not even sure Lunatic Golfballs would say that.. lol.

That's my role on NSG: to say things that even Lunatic Goofballs wouldn't say.

use the condom. Not because you'll get her pregnant. Not because you'll get the std's, but because then you'll always want it that way.

Is she healthy? How many partners did she have? If you trust her and if she is on the pill, go for it stud :D

Well she gets a pap often, and always comes out clean, including for HIV/AIDS. I do trust her alot, and I do believe she is being honest with me. As for past partners, well, I have not talked to her about that yet, because well, that's just a spider web I'd rather not fly into right now. Let's just say she is more active than me. Although she hasn't been active for a little over a year now.

Well she gets a pap often, and always comes out clean, including for HIV/AIDS. I do trust her alot, and I do believe she is being honest with me. As for past partners, well, I have not talked to her about that yet, because well, that's just a spider web I'd rather not fly into right now. Let's just say she is more active than me. Although she hasn't been active for a little over a year now.

Wear a condom. The pay-off of rubberless sex doesn't justify the potential risk of having your penis fall the fuck off.

Wear a condom. The pay-off of rubberless sex doesn't justify the potential risk of having your penis fall the fuck off.

desise control is a good reason to wear a rubber but so is the fact you'll probably last longer with one on and make it an all round more fulfilling experience.

She gets a Pap every once in awhile, I don't know how often she gets it, but every time she gets a pap, it comes out clean so...and yes, they do check for HIV/AIDS.

A pap is to check for cancerous cells and stuff, they are not std checks, but I'm going to assume you just didn't know that, not that she doesn't or lied to you. You have to be specifically tested for different stds.

Edit: Unless they changed pap tets to include testing for stds during the many years since I've had one. But I doubt it. You have to ask to be tested for stuff, and they generally test you for 3 common stds (the clap - gonherrea(sp*), chlamydia and trichomoniasis). Now they might have added on HPV to that.. I hope so.. since the shit can cause cancer.

Well she gets a pap often, and always comes out clean, including for HIV/AIDS. I do trust her alot, and I do believe she is being honest with me. As for past partners, well, I have not talked to her about that yet, because well, that's just a spider web I'd rather not fly into right now. Let's just say she is more active than me. Although she hasn't been active for a little over a year now.

When was her last pap? Any partners since then? Are you circumsized (it halves the chance of getting something...)?

Use a condom...the idea of not using one may be enticing, but you can save that for later in the relationship, once you know more about her history and you have both established a deeper level of trust in one another.

...plus, STD's are bad, mmk?

Wilgrove really shouldn't be counting his cherries before their popped.

Wilgrove really shouldn't be counting his cherries before their popped.

You are awesome.

physical advice: For your very first time, do it with a condom. If you go bareback on the very first time you're never going to want to put on that raincoat, which is a bad way to start your sexual life. In the future, when you're in a committed, long-term relationship with someone and have made the life-decision never to have anyone else, (marriage, or your equivalent thereof) that's when to enjoy the latex-less sensations. Someone also said correctly that condoms can make you last longer, which is a big plus during your first 10 times or so when it's so new and nice and so easy to just let go after about 90 seconds.

emotional/relationship advice: One thing though, you really do need to talk to her about her past experiences before you go through with something this major in your own life. If you're finally comfortable enough to do the act with her, you need to be comfortable to talk about the act as well, both what she is hoping for from you and what she has had, good and bad, in the past. Saving yourself for someone special is one of the most admirable things in my book, don't mess it up now that you've made the decision by jumping into it too fast even after all the waiting you've accomplished.

statistical information: If you're only worried about pregnancy and the numbers revolving there-around, there is a 6 day window during the month when a female has the possibility of fertilization and the birth control pill has a 97% success rate if she takes it exactly as directed. Advise her to start fertility charting online (is free) so she can read her body signs and hormonal symptoms and tell when she's possibly fertile to further decrease your chances of winding up in that small non-success bubble. Also, remember that semen is not just present with ejaculation, but appears at several stages of arousal and in response to friction so if you're gonna be safe and use a condom be sure to have it on at any time you're inside her. Only need one of those little guys to be a strong swimmer :)

congratulations on finding someone you wish to share this with, and gratz also for having the self-awareness to think some of these issues all the way through. good luck, and remember - while you're actually lying with her there, do what feels good and natural and don't worry about all the rest. enjoy your moment!

use the condom.......until you are ready to make a big commitment. (or you know don't have sex until then...)

IMHO, regular intercourse is kind of meh. Oral sex, on the other hand... :D

IMHO, regular intercourse is kind of meh.
how sad :(

Oral sex, on the other hand... :D
that's interesting......

how sad :(

It's not that I dislike it, it's just vastly overrated.

that's interesting......

Indeed. :p

Oral sex, on the other hand... :D

If you're using your hand for oral sex then you might have the wrong idea about it.......




Also, Wilgrove should wear the whole box of condoms at once.

If you're using your hand for oral sex then you might have the wrong idea about it.......

Eh?

It's not that I dislike it, it's just vastly overrated.
maybe you aren't doing it right?:confused:



Indeed. :p

:D

maybe you aren't doing it right?:confused:

I am.

Eh?
Well, using one's hand but not one's mouth.
I am.

Maybe he/she isn't.

ok... good luck, I guess... I'd recommend the condoms just because of the whole "better safe than sorry" thing as everyone else has said.

IMHO, regular intercourse is kind of meh.

"Regular intercourse" covers a lot more than the standard first-time missionary position, my dear. Although it really depends on how you've been doing it, and with whom.

Well, using one's hand but not one's mouth.

Oh.

Maybe he/she isn't.

She is.

"Regular intercourse" covers a lot more than the standard first-time missionary position, my dear. Although it really depends on how you've been doing it, and with whom.

Regular for me means vaginal penetration.

Ok, everyone gather around, I have big news, I've finally met a gal that I finally feel comfortable enough to make love to. My twenty three years of virginity will come to an end real soon. I know I know, but there's just one little thing I'm wondering about. Now she's on birth control, and I will be buying a box of condoms, however, I was wondering how much of a risk we'd be taking if I decided to try it one time without a condom, just to see what it feels like. Is it too big of a risk? Neither one of us want to have children right now, and abortion is out of the question, so what say ye, NSG?

You're 20.
You're a virgin, about to lose said virginity.
No need to rush buddy, unless you plan on only having sex once.
Wrap it. You can 'see what it feels like' later...most likely your first time is going to end all too quickly.

She gets a Pap every once in awhile, I don't know how often she gets it, but every time she gets a pap, it comes out clean so...and yes, they do check for HIV/AIDS.

Guess what they won't find, unless she's mid-breakout. Herpes.
Wrap it.

Wilgrove really shouldn't be counting his cherries before their popped.

Quoted for pure awesomeness.

Condom, every single time until you're married and or ready for kids. The pill occasionally fails, and by occasionally I mean I know several "I'm on the pill" babies.

Wrap it. You can 'see what it feels like' later...most likely your first time is going to end all too quickly.

QFT....

btw, a (slightly sarcastic) question about STDs. There seems to be an idea that if the other person is a virgin it's ok to go ahead without checking. I'm just wondering then, how does anyone get an STD if no-one can have them until they have sex with other people?

Oh.



She is.

Well then she just gives great head.



Nothing you can say will ever make me think sex won't be great. Nothing.

I'm with Congo--Kinshasa; oral is better than vaginal sex.

And you might as well use a condom; experiment with different types, and when you find one that agrees with you it's really not that different. I might even prefer with to without. Oh, and practice putting them on beforehand; they can be a little fiddly before you've got the hang of them.

The risk of pregnancy if she's using some form of reliable birth control is still very low if you don't use a condom, but that doesn't stop us using both due to (my) paranoia (my girlfriend would be fine just relying on hers). There's also STDs, but you can get tested for (most of) them easily enough before going without.

This is one of those things where you have to decide what you're both comfortable with.

QFT....

btw, a (slightly sarcastic) question about STDs. There seems to be an idea that if the other person is a virgin it's ok to go ahead without checking. I'm just wondering then, how does anyone get an STD if no-one can have them until they have sex with other people?

Because some people think that certain acts aren't sex.

Oral sex in particular. Great way to spread certain STIs.

And when it comes to your health? Fuck how much you trust the other person...sometimes THEY won't even know they have something.

I'm with Congo--Kinshasa; oral is better than vaginal sex. That entirely depends on your, and your partner's, skill level.

That entirely depends on your, and your partner's, skill level.

And preference, of course. She much prefers vaginal over oral.

The AIDS will get you boy. Use the condom.

And, as said, explore a bit first. Dont stick it in the wrong place. :rolleyes:

This thread scares me. So much misinformation and ignorance on STI, so much paranoia...

No, his dick probably won't fall off if he has condomless sex with her. If she tests negative and he's a virgin, there is no risk, and with the pill (if it isn't one of those mini-pills), she 99.9% won't get pregnant.

In those circumstances, I'd go for it.

This thread scares me. So much misinformation and ignorance on STI, so much paranoia...

No, his dick probably won't fall of if he has condomless sex with her. If she tests negative and he's a virgin, there is no risk, and with the pill (if it isn't one of those mini-pills), she 99.9% won't get pregnant.

In those circumstances, I'd go for it.

Oh come on Fass, you don't come to NS for actual advice, you come here for fearmongering and stupidity.

HERPES! YOU'LL GET HERPES!!!!!!

Like that. Sheesh. Get with the program. Anyone asking these basic questions on sex on NS deserves fear.

Well then she just gives great head.



Nothing you can say will ever make me think sex won't be great. Nothing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata

Isn't this the kind of discussion you should probably be having with her, instead of NSG?

Don't use the condom.

Oh come on Fass, you don't come to NS for actual advice, you come here for fearmongering and stupidity.

HERPES! YOU'LL GET HERPES!!!!!!

Condoms don't protect you from herpes anyway...

Like that. Sheesh. Get with the program. Anyone asking these basic questions on sex on NS deserves fear.

But, the questions really are so basic and the fearmongering so over the top - it stuns me to my Scandinavian core.

Condoms don't protect you from herpes anyway... Not always no, but depending on the site of infection, the condom might give you a fighting chance.

Though I think everyone should actively seek out herpes and just get over it.


But, the questions really are so basic and the fearmongering so over the top - it stuns me to my Scandinavian core.

What do you expect? We're talking about a 20 year old virgin in a country (oh hell, a continent) famous for its sexual repression. How can you not make fun of that? Even if by fun you mean 'fear monger'?

Not always no, but depending on the site of infection, the condom might give you a fighting chance.

Very few people only have strictly genitally confined cankers that do not spread outside the area that a condom covers.

Though I think everyone should actively seek out herpes and just get over it.

"Bitch, please!" I am happily herpes-free down there and so shall it remain for as long as possible.

What do you expect? We're talking about a 20 year old virgin in a country (oh hell, a continent) famous for its sexual repression. How can you not make fun of that? Even if by fun you mean 'fear monger'?

I do see the amusement in it, ridiculing their ignorance by profiting off of it for enjoyment, but I do not see it rectifying the situation.

The guy I got herpes from had it on his shaft, right side near the head. I have found that placing iodine directly on my flare up helps it go away much faster. Don't remember what made me try doing that, since I read it no where.. but I did, and it worked.

The guy I got herpes from had it on his shaft, right side near the head. I have found that placing iodine directly on my flare up helps it go away much faster. Don't remember what made me try doing that, since I read it no where.. but I did, and it worked.

WTMI.

WTMI.

QFT.

Non-existent gods I hate acronyms.

Sorry. Had to look up that acronym btw. I'm too honest sometimes.. hehe.

We had a herpes thread at one point, it was actually quite successful :D

WTMI.

Sorry. Had to look up that acronym btw. I'm too honest sometimes.. hehe. But maybe it can help someone with it someday..

QFT.

Non-existent gods I hate acronyms.

IAWTC.

We had a herpes thread at one point, it was actually quite successful :D


Yep, I remember. =)

IAWTC.

I agree World Trade Center?

IAWTC.

I Ate White Turkish Cock.

I Ate White Turkish Cock.

Damn you, how the hell do I even begin to spin a delicate web of lies to deny that?

Damn you, how the hell do I even begin to spin a delicate web of lies to deny that?

We all know you have absolutely no need to deny any such thing.

We all know you have absolutely no need to deny any such thing.

If you knew the Turk in question, you'd see the need.

IAWTC.

"I agree with the Canadian".... but yeah, backronyms are far more fun. :p

If you knew the Turk in question, you'd see the need.

Perhaps. But absent pictures, such claims are bereft of merit.

Perhaps. But absent pictures, such claims are bereft of merit.

Shut your mouth, he was gorgeous. It's more the typically Turkish personality and abusive tendencies I was referring to.

/divulgence

If she isn't willing to have an abortion, it isn't worth the risk, in my opinion.

This thread scares me. So much misinformation and ignorance on STI, so much paranoia...

No, his dick probably won't fall off if he has condomless sex with her. If she tests negative and he's a virgin, there is no risk, and with the pill (if it isn't one of those mini-pills), she 99.9% won't get pregnant.

In those circumstances, I'd go for it.
No kidding, either.
What do all you people think the pill is for? Gratuitous hormone swallowing?
And I would bet my last cent that at least, say, 90% of the babies that were "conceived despite the mother being on the pill" were conceived because the mother screwed up in taking the pill regularly.


Then again, this would actually be a not too bad argument for using a condom on top of the pill:
use the condom. Not because you'll get her pregnant. Not because you'll get the std's, but because then you'll always want it that way.
Someone else said that, too.
Hm, never thought about it like that.

Shut your mouth, he was gorgeous. It's more the typically Turkish personality and abusive tendencies I was referring to.

/divulgence

Sometimes that can be fun.

Sometimes that can be fun.

We don't all share your newfound kink.

We don't all share your newfound kink.

For brief periods, it appears you might.

use the condom. Not because you'll get her pregnant. Not because you'll get the std's, but because then you'll always want it that way.

hee hee...what they said...or just pull out before you come...use the condom first though...it may last longer that way and satisfy her too instead of just you!!

For brief periods, it appears you might.

This wasn't the nice, fun kind of abuse.

Best of luck.

hee hee...what they said...or just pull out before you come...use the condom first though...it may last longer that way and satisfy her too instead of just you!!

Pull-out method doesn't work. The pre-come can still impregnate her.

Pull-out method doesn't work. The pre-come can still impregnate her.
If she's on the pill (and using it properly), it's highly highly unlikely that small amounts of pre-come will get her pregnant.
edit: the real problem is probably will-power, heh :p

This wasn't the nice, fun kind of abuse.

Oh.
:(

If she's on the pill (and using it properly), it's highly highly unlikely that small amounts of pre-come will get her pregnant.
edit: the real problem is probably will-power, heh :p

I suppose so. ;)

Pull-out method doesn't work. The pre-come can still impregnate her.

not if she's steril and doesn't know it...and plus, it is so much less of a chance than if he were to blow his whole load in her!

Ok, everyone gather around, I have big news, I've finally met a gal that I finally feel comfortable enough to make love to. My twenty three years of virginity will come to an end real soon. I know I know, but there's just one little thing I'm wondering about. Now she's on birth control, and I will be buying a box of condoms, however, I was wondering how much of a risk we'd be taking if I decided to try it one time without a condom, just to see what it feels like. Is it too big of a risk? Neither one of us want to have children right now, and abortion is out of the question, so what say ye, NSG?

Lucky you, man. I say one time, but one time only. But then, what do I know about sex? I'm underage.

Bad idea for several reasons:

Birth control can fail. Always good to go with dual protection.

Also, if you never know what you're missing, you'll never be tempted to do it again without protection.

Condoms ain't the safety net they're cracked up to be. Only go through with it if you're comfortable that she's disease free. Birth control pills are very reliable (relatively) assuming she's good about taking them regularly.

If you're worried even in the slightest about STDs, then don't do it.

She gets a Pap every once in awhile, I don't know how often she gets it, but every time she gets a pap, it comes out clean so...and yes, they do check for HIV/AIDS.

Have you been tested?

oOoOoOO... congrats on the immenent deflowering.

The pill is generally pretty reliable, but I never really trusted it and just used it as a secondary birth control method, but I've tended to be paranoid about such things, so it's up to you and your ladyfriend. A condom does keep her from having to deal with a lot of mess though.


Although chances are, you might be better with the condom just for the general purpose of lasting longer... unless you're going to be getting off shortly before doing it anyways.

Ok, everyone gather around, I have big news, I've finally met a gal that I finally feel comfortable enough to make love to. My twenty three years of virginity will come to an end real soon. I know I know, but there's just one little thing I'm wondering about. Now she's on birth control, and I will be buying a box of condoms, however, I was wondering how much of a risk we'd be taking if I decided to try it one time without a condom, just to see what it feels like. Is it too big of a risk? Neither one of us want to have children right now, and abortion is out of the question, so what say ye, NSG?
If you don't wear the rubba there'll be no hubba hubba...