NationStates Jolt Archive

Anyone have any ingenious ideas for opening beer bottles (beer still drinkable, no shattering)without a traditional bottle-opener?

I've been using a screw driver, lost my opener this evening.

I've heard of people using teeth, gun barrels and pliers. Anyone got anything else?

Anyone have any ingenious ideas for opening beer bottles (beer still drinkable, no shattering)without a traditional bottle-opener?

I've been using a screw driver, lost my opener this evening.

I've heard of people using teeth, gun barrels and pliers. Anyone got anything else?

Hands

Put the edge of the bottle cap on the edge of a table, and then hit the top of the cap flush with the palm of your hand. Warning: do not do this on a glass table.

find a right angled bit of hard solid unbendable stuff that won't move when struck, like the edge of the top of a wall, place the edge of the bottlecap over said angle with the bottle hanging below it. strike down on the bottle cap while holding the bottle. ... hey presto.

Just shoot it open.

I have friends who can open beer bottles with chopsticks and of course lighters as well.

Simple, get your saber and chop the head off the bottle.

A Bic lighter works very well....just use the bottom to pry off the bottle cap.

Or, you can use another bottle of beer! Use the cap of one to help pry off the other. Just be careful that the one your holding upside-down isn't the one that opens. :p

A Bic lighter works very well....just use the bottom to pry off the bottle cap.

Or, you can use another bottle of beer! Use the cap of one to help pry off the other. Just be careful that the one your holding upside-down isn't the one that opens. :p

Props for creativity.

Question. What do you do with the final bottle?

Use your canine teeth to hook underneath the cap.

Or, you can use another bottle of beer! Use the cap of one to help pry off the other. Just be careful that the one your holding upside-down isn't the one that opens. :p


I know I guy who can do that, but I've never quite been able to get it to work.

Props for creativity.

Question. What do you do with the final bottle?

Smash it open?

(Honestly...it's never come up. :p )

car seatbelts work extremely well. The metal bit that clips into the slot, that is, not the stretchy material piece.

To use another beer bottle cap, first, tap the one you wish to open until it's dented somewhat. Then hook the other underneath and flick up firmly and swiftly. Hold onto the bottle and other side of the cap of the bottle to be opened.
If you do it right, it should pop off with one flick. Otherwise, work your way around the cap flicking outwards until the entire cap is pulled out. Then it's a breeze to pull off.
The blunt side of a knife works just as well. Jut make sure it's a very blunt one! Indeed, pretty much anything can be used this way - as long as it's tougher than the cap.

I've heard tell that in Bavaria, there exist ancient lager gurus who have developed over the course of thousands of years a mystical technique of opening beer bottles with the sheer force of their mind.

Use your hands through your shirt.

nearly every can opener has a bottle opener on it. It's a little hook that is on the side. hook it on the bottom of the lid and pull up.

Take a lighter or another beer bottle. :D

Hands
GTFO!
That would never work.
Bench tops, other bottles, eye sockets, keys, lighters, coins.

GTFO!
eye sockets

Belly button.


Only for the manliest of men.

I saw this show in amsterdam once, it had a lady in it who opened bottles using her "nether regions".

Huh, I always thought everybody simply used their lighter.
But yeah, maybe that only worked back when everybody actually smoked.


Belly button.


Only for the manliest of men.
Catch it on some lint and pull?

I saw this show in amsterdam once, it had a lady in it who opened bottles using her "nether regions".>.<

100 ways to open a beer (http://petersreviews.com/index.php?/archives/2453-Video-100-Ways-To-Open-A-Beer.html) ...

Anyone have any ingenious ideas for opening beer bottles (beer still drinkable, no shattering)without a traditional bottle-opener?

I've been using a screw driver, lost my opener this evening.

I've heard of people using teeth, gun barrels and pliers. Anyone got anything else?

I often use a knife. Place the dull side against the neck of the bottle, just under the lip of the bottle cap, grab the bottle so the top of your fist is in contact with the side of the blade, pry the cap off. Learn to do it so you don't roll the sharp edge against your knuckle and you won't even cut yourself.

Belly button.


Only for the manliest of men.

I've seen it done with an armpit.

In college if we didn't have a bottle opener we always used the metal plate in the door jamb. I also know someone whose belt buckle worked perfectly as a bottle opener.

i lived in an apartment in college where the kitchen drawers all had little semi-circular indents in the wood beneath the drawer pulls. they functioned beautifully as bottle openers.

Real men can consume the beer without opening or damageing the bottle.

Real men also have no use for seplling.

Just chew up the entire bottle and spit out the broken glass.

use the case that holds the beer bottles. it's hard to explain but you have to place the cap on the grip, then put your hand on it and use your other hand to move the bottom of the bottle upwards. it takes some practice but you can use it everywhere and always.

(and don't use your teeth unless you want to lose some pieces.)

A Nokia 3310.

Failing that, I have a bottle opener with my keys;)

http://www.lockergnome.com/diy/how-...piece-of-paper/
this may help :)

Beer? In Bottles? n00bs. Why can't you be normal have have beer on draught in your own home?

I did hear that some beer bottles had twist caps. All you had to do was twist them to open them. Sounds easy enough.

http://www.lockergnome.com/diy/how-...piece-of-paper/
this may help :)
That's cool. Going to have to try that.

Beer? In Bottles? n00bs. Why can't you be normal have have beer on draught in your own home?
A man can dream, eh? :p


If you're drinking some types of Lambics or Gueuzes they often have corks held down with wire. Just don't make the mistake I did of being a bit rough with the bottle before taking the wire off. The cork made a small dent in the ceiling, and I ended up with beer all over my jeans and the floor.

Hands

Damn I was going to say that...

Belly button.


Only for the manliest of men.
True
I've seen it done with an armpit.
Heard of that.
I saw this show in amsterdam once, it had a lady in it who opened bottles using her "nether regions".
I've read about that.

Pocket knife works. Or, conceivably, you could puncture the cap and eliminate the difference in pressure holding the cap on. Or, if you were really manly, you would bite off the head, chew it up and, ideally, spit out a stain glass window.

Bite the top off.

Put the edge of the bottle cap on the edge of a table, and then hit the top of the cap flush with the palm of your hand. Warning: do not do this on a glass table.

My dad does this.

I use my teeth.

Put the edge of the bottle cap on the edge of a table, and then hit the top of the cap flush with the palm of your hand. Warning: do not do this on a glass table.
I like using the edge of a cabinet door -- in a motel room, of course.

Watch out for the fizzing, if you don't hold the bottle securely.

In college if we didn't have a bottle opener we always used the metal plate in the door jamb. I also know someone whose belt buckle worked perfectly as a bottle opener.
In college, we had a keg in a refrigerator -- complete with a NO cylinder for pressurization.

I saw this show in amsterdam once, it had a lady in it who opened bottles using her "nether regions".

:eek: I hope it was a twist top.

The Israeli version of the M16 comes with a bottle opener because soldiers kept breaking their rifles opening bottles.

The Israeli version of the M16 comes with a bottle opener because soldiers kept breaking their rifles opening bottles.

I want one.

Beer? In Bottles? n00bs. Why can't you be normal have have beer on draught in your own home?

I did hear that some beer bottles had twist caps. All you had to do was twist them to open them. Sounds easy enough.

Most Aussie beers have twist tops, so it makes it very easy. If they don't, I use the table/wall technique that has previously been described in this thread.

I used to have a bottle opener on my key ring, but it broke when I threw it threw it to a freind (who wanted to open a beer) and he dropped it. A Swiss army knife on your keyring will also do the job.

Use your canine teeth to hook underneath the cap.

nah...use the molars. Stronger teeth fare better.

failing that, I use the table method

A metal spatula works well too...just slide it quickly up the neck

Anyone have any ingenious ideas for opening beer bottles (beer still drinkable, no shattering)without a traditional bottle-opener?

I've been using a screw driver, lost my opener this evening.

I've heard of people using teeth, gun barrels and pliers. Anyone got anything else?

I use anything made of metal. Even pointy things of softer materials can serve. Twigs, even -- and I don't mean shards of heartwood, I mean pissy sappy little twigs from a dead tree.

Prise up one of the indented sections of the bottle-cap, to the limits of your chosen tool. Move on to the next one, prise that up. If your tool is outstandingly pissy (eg, aforementioned twig) go every second or third indentation. You might have to work halfway around the cap before it gets loose, but hey, it beats breaking a tooth.

Then you either flick it off with your chosen tool, or keep loosening until it just falls off.

Don't be mislead by the way a proper bottle opener (coin slot on a vending machine, good set of teeth, steel pliers, glancing blow from passing bullet) works. They hit the pointy-out part of the crimped cap, and it works because they have excessive force. They're uncrimping two indentations simultaneously, and the indentations are what hold the cap on.

In summary: if you have a decent tool, just open the goddam beer. No, I don't want you to open the beer, I want you to fuck it! Just open the goddam beer!

Oh, and if you have an object made of mild steel, with an edge of ~75 degrees over two millimetres, and can't open the goddam beer, you don't deserve beer.

Most Aussie beers have twist tops, so it makes it very easy. If they don't, I use the table/wall technique that has previously been described in this thread.

I used to have a bottle opener on my key ring, but it broke when I threw it threw it to a friend (who wanted to open a beer) and he dropped it. A Swiss army knife on your keyring will also do the job.

Is it just because I'm an aussie that that seems transcendentally funny?

For anyone who didn't get it: it's Murphy's Law, with beer. And natural justice. If the man who needed the opener had really needed a beer, he'd have caught it. But he didn't, so "if anything can possibly go wrong, it will" applied, and he broke his mate's bottle opener when he really should have opened a beer and done what men do.
Even if he didn't really need a beer. There's something wrong there ... even people who don't need a beer, deserve one.

Yer mate wasn't a Muslim or something, Boony? I mean, Murphy's Law is pretty strong and all, but he had the actual beer in hand. I sense some kind of supernatural intervention. Um ... did the beer opener have some kind of arcane runes inscribed on it? Like "Sydney Olypics 2000" ... ?

Small explosive charges and nanobots.

Swiss Army knife.

Or ask a cute girl/hot guy in the next apartment if s/he has a bottle opener.

Or just buy one, how expensive can a church key be?

:eek: I hope it was a twist top.

If I remember correctly, it was amstel. I don't think those come with a twist top...Not many beers here do.

If I remember correctly, it was amstel. I don't think those come with a twist top...Not many beers here do.

I would have to believe it had been loosened beforehand -- or, were I a guy, I would keep something I valued away from her nether regions.

...or, were I a guy, I would keep something I valued away from her nether regions.

Like a bottle of amstel? ;)

Um...try using your hands.

Like a bottle of amstel? ;)

Something I valued a wee bit more, I should think..... you can always get another bottle of Amstel. :D

Something I valued a wee bit more, I should think..... you can always get another bottle of Amstel. :D

Ah, a bottle of Duvel then :)

Ah, a bottle of Duvel then :)

LOL.

:D Just make sure that Wee Willie Winkie is armored, I suppose.

car seatbelts work extremely well. The metal bit that clips into the slot, that is, not the stretchy material piece.
Yet another reason to drink and drive with out wearing my seat belt.