NationStates Jolt Archive

Check out this post I found on slashdot:

I may be in the minority here, but I do have kids. When my 9-year old discovers whatever passes for MySpace at the time we begin to give him access to the web, he's not going to be using it independently of the direct oversight of my wife and myself. He won't be freely using any other web site, for that matter. His right to absolute privacy begins only when he moves out of my house, 9 years from now. If he insists that he is not going to tell me his password, I expect we'll start taking away privileges such as his internet access; if he insists on abusing our trust by using such sites outside our home, other privileges will begin disappearing accordingly.

This is no different than our current approach to discipline (which by the way is apparently working well): his rights currently extend only to being fed and clothed and healthy. His privileges (including toys, visits with friends, computer games, television, etc.) are given in direct proportion to his responsibility. As he acts responsibly, they expand. As he abuses our trust, they contract until he rebuilds our trust.

You may ask, how will you monitor his activities away from home? Naturally we're still figuring that out, but we already have a good start when he visits friends' houses, where he already knows that we expect him to follow our home's rules. For example, he knows (and obeys) our restrictions on what television he may watch, or video games he may play; we verify his obedience with parents. I expect our monitoring will include frequent vanity-Googling-by-proxy - searching for his name, and seeing what pops up. I also expect it will include a healthy dose of two-way trust. He already knows that he can trust us, and that we have his best interests in mind, and we will work together with him to build an appropriate presence online, as part of his responsible upbringing. As attentive parents, I also fully expect that we'll have a very good idea of his avatar choices and will be able to find them on any popular sites. Furthermore, since his rights to privacy don't yet exist, we will not hesitate to install keylogging and screenshot software on his computer, which will continue to live only in the common family room, will continue to be locked to system changes, and let him know that we monitor everything he does - just like we already often listen to his phone calls with less-responsible friends, and we make sure both parties know that we're listening. This is all part of parenting. I would never turn him loose in a city by himself, and letting him loose online is no different.

I'm quite certain that this post will generate some "are you nuts" or "what kind of fanatic are you" replies. Yes, I am a fanatic, in that I'm absolutely convinced of my beliefs (including trusting that God will change my mind if I'm wrong). I am raising my children according to my own beliefs, and teaching them everything I believe, because honestly, if I didn't believe it enough to pass it on to my most dearly valued family, that would show that I didn't really believe it.

Here's the original page it appeared on: http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/01/29/2314253 .It's towards the bottom.

This is terrifying.

That's 'tarded.
He listens to his kid's phonecalls? He's 9 for fucks sake, he's not a frigging terrorist. This is over-protectiveness at it's worst. Sure, look after your kids, obviously - but don't smother them completely from the outside world.

At least he's not one of those parents who are too lazy to watch what their kids do and then bitch about how everything should be censored to protect them. But he really takes it too far.

The creepiest part is this:


trusting that God will change my mind if I'm wrong

It's like, what? You wait for the fucking omnipotent omniscient omnibenevolent creator and lord of all existence to get you to change your mind? What about your underpants, do you need divine intervention to change those too?

(including trusting that God will change my mind if I'm wrong)
Oh dear.

I do hope that kid is looking forward to being bullied for the next 9 years of his life.

I don't see what's so wrong with making sure your kid isn't doing something like this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/19/national/19kids.ready.html?ex=1292648400&en=aea51b3919b2361a&ei=5090

I think parents should monitor their kids' internet usage so that we don't end up having the government regulate everyone's internet usage.

I don't see what's so wrong with making sure your kid isn't doing something like this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/19/national/19kids.ready.html?ex=1292648400&en=aea51b3919b2361a&ei=5090

I think parents should monitor their kids' internet usage so that we don't end up having the government regulate everyone's internet usage.

They should... to a degree. But I'm an individualist, and I appreciate very much that my parents gave me some privacy. People need privacy. It's a healthy thing to have.

And frankly, the government will regulate regardless of whether people parent well or poorly. Governments love to do that shit.

many people think when their child is 9 that they will continue the same kind of close supervision when they are older. consider how many fathers say they will not let their daughters date until they are 18.

reality sinks in over time and this guys kid is probably going to have more supervision that his peers but much less than his father thinks he is going to have now.

it's not bad that he watches his child, but he takes it way to far. when he leaves his home he's going to come in the real world and he probably won't be prepaired. if you don't give your kid enough freedom he won't know how to handle it and he won't learn about responsibilities. although i must say that it also depends on what they do allow him, he only said he spies on his kid, but i don't think he is allowed a lot.

this reminds me how much i love my parents.

I see a serial rapist in the making.

I think what creeps me out the most here is not really the restrictions placed on the kid but the father's attitude. He sounds very mean, though I'm sure he isn't really. I got the impression that the kid isn't shut away from the world, he just has certain rules about what he may do and what he may not do, and a clear understanding that his parents will follow up on him and check to make sure he doesn't break the rules. It sounds sad and grim and totalitarian, but it probably isn't. I knew kids whose parents were way stricter than mine, they had to go to bed at a set time, too bad if it was still light out in the summer. What was not present was this "you have no rights, only privileges" crap, the "I brought you into this world, I can take you out and make another one to replace you, so toe the line" attitude that sort of oozes from those paragrpahs.

The fella quoted there has a similar attitude to what my father had. There's a reason I won't talk to that bastard and plan to dance on his grave.

My parents were pretty strict with me. But they never listened in on my phonecalls. That's going just a little bit too far. The motive is right; I mean there's a multitude of things that a 9-year-old could stumble across online. If I had a 9-year-old I probably wouldn't even let them online.

We only got an internet connection when I was 16 so by then I was relatively mature and could be trusted, but my mother still stuck the computer in the kitchen just so that she could easily keep an eye on me. I don't blame her; if I were an average teenage boy (instead of a strange teenage girl) I'd probably be even less trustworthy. And a couple of times I've accidentally come across some things online that I'd rather not have. But over time my mother got used to us having the internet and she hardly ever checks on me now.

My father, on the other hand, is banned from the computer without supervision; he wasn't aware that we could easily check for what he was searching for. Some men just can't be trusted...

Certifiably insane, methinks. That level of control will produce a fucked-up kid.

Well, a few restrictions are okay by me, he's 9, ffs! But there should be a certain relation of trust between the person and his child. Also the talk about keeping it up until the age of 18... and ONLY BEING ALLOWED TO MySPACE? WTH?!??!?!?!?! The worst pages are on Myspace... if it was something less crappy, it'd be far less scary. How should this child learn a) good webdesign and b) to trust others?

Eh. It's an ineffective method and will only lead to a good deal of grief and suchlike for everyone. If this guy really wants to make sure his kid doesn't do anything undesirable, why even give the 9-year-old a computer or a cell phone?! If he needs to do something online or in word processing he can use his parents'. As for traveling outside, just make sure he's accompanied by an adult until he's old enough to be independent, and he won't even need a cell phone.

I think a parent should be aware of what their child does online, but at the same time completely sheltering them isn't going to do them much good, either. The world can be a very nasty and ugly place, and so can the Internet. A kid has to learn how to react to that. That can't happen if you keep them in a jar.

I have seen parenting methods that were much more "creepy" around here.

My kids have a similar set up though, their privileges are in line with how responsible they are being. I don't listen to their phone calls, but I do monitor their online usage, as they get older I will monitor less and let them make more of their own decisions about TV, movies, music, and friends, as soon as I am sure they are making good decisions.

He isn't wrong, but I don't agree with him, for the reasons that other people have mentioned - overprotectiveness.

I don't see what's so wrong with making sure your kid isn't doing something like this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/19/national/19kids.ready.html?ex=1292648400&en=aea51b3919b2361a&ei=5090

I think parents should monitor their kids' internet usage so that we don't end up having the government regulate everyone's internet usage.

And I think prisons can be a good thing for society ... but I don't think that everyone should be in one

There are reasonable degrees and this guy seems to go a bit far

Check out this post I found on slashdot:



Here's the original page it appeared on: http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/01/29/2314253 .It's towards the bottom.

This is terrifying.

This guy creeps me out.

Seems a little strict, but not totally unreasonable. I know I would have had fits if my parents were that intrusive. But my parents periodic searches of my room when I was a teen taught me some good hiding places.:p

I dunno what I'd do in the situation. I've always had my privacy, online and off, only place I really got this treatment was going out on my own - anyroads, I can see the fundamentals of the guys point, but extremism NEVER works. I'd be pretty much on trust, you know? I mean by that time I'd have 9 years living with my child every single day, I'd know how smart they were and how much they needed supervised. If I figured they weren't ready, then I'd wait til they were, regardless of age, and both ways. Some people just mature faster than others, after all. blanket rule on a 9 year old might work some of the time, but a blanket rule on say, 14, is just parenting "by the book" and not using your own intiative, in my opinion.

I can only say two things; if he expects trust, he'll have to earn it. Evidently he's intent on never ever earning his child's trust.
Secondly, children experience freedom no different than adults. Was he my parent, I'd be hiding away in a train at this moment, intent on getting as far away from that despotic fuck as humanly possible.

These people sound like good parents. :)

I don't see what's so wrong with making sure your kid isn't doing something like this.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/19/national/19kids.ready.html?ex=1292648400&en=aea51b3919b2361a&ei=5090

I think parents should monitor their kids' internet usage so that we don't end up having the government regulate everyone's internet usage.

Let me ask all of you a serious, and slightly off topic question. If you were a minor, and somebody offered you money to do this, would you? As you've seen, Justin made hundreds of thousands of dollars by sitting naked in front of his computer. The only people that witnessed him doing this are people he hasn't seen before, people he weren't looking at then, and people he most likely will never see in his life. He made $50 in three minutes just by not wearing his shirt. And over time, he collected several hundred grand before he even moved out. He didn't even have to stand up to do it. Now, as a minor, I can easily say that I would be willing to do this for less than half of what he made.

The post is somewhat lacking in details. Assuming that this person has any parenting ablities he/she should know you must give greater freedoms as children get older mainly so they can become independent. I can somewhat understand the desire to monitor one's child constantly when they're 9, but if you don't grant freedoms for good behavior you're just creating an useless overgrown child. Unfortunatly I'm not sure if that /. posters plans on constant paranoia until said child is 18 and out of home.

Let me ask all of you a serious, and slightly off topic question. If you were a minor, and somebody offered you money to do this, would you? As you've seen, Justin made hundreds of thousands of dollars by sitting naked in front of his computer. The only people that witnessed him doing this are people he hasn't seen before, people he weren't looking at then, and people he most likely will never see in his life. He made $50 in three minutes just by not wearing his shirt. And over time, he collected several hundred grand before he even moved out. He didn't even have to stand up to do it. Now, as a minor, I can easily say that I would be willing to do this for less than half of what he made.

I would be too creeped out by thinking of some guys on the other end of the internet tube rubbing one out to me. Also one of the pervs might go looking for him and he could end up chained in some kid toucher's basement.

These people sound like good parents. :)

And they probably are, Dan, but the father writing the article sounds like the kind of person who sucks the enjoyment out of everything, the kind of guy you learn to avoid at a party because he has an opinion on everything and he's always right and that's that. He's depressing.

He might be creepy, but he's not as creepy as this guy (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/stockmarket/).

And they probably are, Dan, but the father writing the article sounds like the kind of person who sucks the enjoyment out of everything, the kind of guy you learn to avoid at a party because he has an opinion on everything and he's always right and that's that. He's depressing.

Come on now. This guy obviously doesn't think he's always right. He's perfectly willing to change his mind just so long as god himself orders him to.

Yes, I am a fanatic, in that I'm absolutely convinced of my beliefs (including trusting that God will change my mind if I'm wrong).

And they probably are, Dan, but the father writing the article sounds like the kind of person who sucks the enjoyment out of everything, the kind of guy you learn to avoid at a party because he has an opinion on everything and he's always right and that's that. He's depressing.

Something tells me this guy's kid is going to make it out of his teens without being kidnapped or molested or some other horrible thing, he'll go on to college, get good grades and then be a happy and free adult. ;)

Nothing else is really relevent in my mind. I'dve hated this guy, too, twenty years ago.

Come on now. This guy obviously doesn't think he's always right. He's perfectly willing to change his mind just so long as god himself orders him to.

You're right, DCD, I forgot that part. Makes him even more fun at a party.

Something tells me this guy's kid is going to make it out of his teens without being kidnapped or molested or some other horrible thing, he'll go on to college, get good grades and then be a happy and free adult. ;)

Nothing else is really relevent in my mind. I'dve hated this guy, too, twenty years ago.

Well, I hope so. He'll probably grow up to be just like his old man, and proud of it (once he gets to about age 30 - from 16 or 17 on he'll think the Old Man is dumber than a box of rocks).

Something tells me this guy's kid is going to make it out of his teens without being kidnapped or molested or some other horrible thing, he'll go on to college, get good grades and then be a happy and free adult. ;)


Unlike the rest of us, who are frequently kidnapped and molested and end up as depressive dropouts. You've opened my eyes.


Thank god for you, scary slashdot guy.

And they probably are, Dan, but the father writing the article sounds like the kind of person who sucks the enjoyment out of everything, the kind of guy you learn to avoid at a party because he has an opinion on everything and he's always right and that's that. He's depressing.
Dunno about that. He may be overprotective, but I think he allows his kid to do alot provided that the kid plays straight with him. Note, he only listens to the phone conversations with kids he doesn't know or trust. both his son and the person he's talking to know he's listening in.

He monitors the son's Internet activitiy. which is good, keeps his son from becoming conned or exploited.

He's also taking an active role in his son's life. He'll find out what interests the kid and can better guide him as well as advise him and if done right, his son knows he can turn to his father for any problem he may face.

Of course, like anything else, it can be taken to the extreme.

Unlike the rest of us, who are frequently kidnapped and molestedMore are molested than you'd like to think.. and end up as depressive dropouts. You've opened my eyes.I think the dropout rate is about 50% now... and those that don't might as well because many of them can't read anyway. I'll bet this kid's going to Harvard. ;)

Well, I hope so. He'll probably grow up to be just like his old man, and proud of it (once he gets to about age 30 - from 16 or 17 on he'll think the Old Man is dumber than a box of rocks).

Good. His dad sounds like the kind of guy who takes responsibility seriously and, though it doesn't say anything about it in the post, there is an implication that he is doing okay for himself. :)

It's like, what? You wait for the fucking omnipotent omniscient omnibenevolent creator and lord of all existence to get you to change your mind? What about your underpants, do you need divine intervention to change those too?

But of course. If you are arrogrant enough to expect direct intervention from God, no need to think small.

I would be too creeped out by thinking of some guys on the other end of the internet tube rubbing one out to me.

oh sorry, i didn't know i was creeping you out, i'll stop.

Jeez, he should stop smothering this kid, and let him get a taste of life! He's nine, but he doesn't have to have everything monitored like that, I mean, I get it to a point, but this is too George Orwell-like.

And I thought my parents were a bit overprotective. This is absolutely ridiculous. Poor kid doesn't even know what is going on. If this is what people are doing to their own children, then maybe 1984 is not so far around the corner...or he's just trolling, which I hope is true.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with what this man is doing.

The government has no business legislating how parents raise their children.

The government has no business legislating how parents raise their children.That isn't quite true, but I would say that in this case they have no business in interfering, at least until the kid needs therapy.

about 6 months after that kid turns 18 and leaves home he's going to be a gibbering wreck. he's not going to have a clue how to fend for himself or associate with the right kind of people because all his life his parents have done that for him. the worst thing about that is they're not going to give him free will til he's 18 and they listen to his phonecalls. the kid's either going to become so rebellious they completely lose touch with him or he's going to become so attached to home they'll never cut him loose. he'll probably also become completely paranoid.

That isn't quite true, but I would say that in this case they have no business in interfering, at least until the kid needs therapy.

Unless you're abusing the living hell out of your kids then the government should just butt out.

That isn't quite true, but I would say that in this case they have no business in interfering, at least until the kid needs therapy.

What government's interfering with this guy? The OP quoted a self-posted (and to me, self-congratulatory) description of how he's raising his son. My problem with it is not so much what he doing but his humorless, grim attitude, which is not helped by the remark about how only God can correct him in this.

Unless you're abusing the living hell out of your kids then the government should just butt out.I'd just say if you're beating them to the point where you're leaving marks, then that's sufficient to be abuse.

What government's interfering with this guy? The OP quoted a self-posted (and to me, self-congratulatory) description of how he's raising his son. My problem with it is not so much what he doing but his humorless, grim attitude, which is not helped by the remark about how only God can correct him in this.I don't know, Layarteb brought it up.

He might be creepy, but he's not as creepy as this guy (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/stockmarket/).

I hate you.

What a fucking idiot

What government's interfering with this guy? The OP quoted a self-posted (and to me, self-congratulatory) description of how he's raising his son. My problem with it is not so much what he doing but his humorless, grim attitude, which is not helped by the remark about how only God can correct him in this.

Umm...I didn't make that. I quoted that off a creepy guy on slashdot.

Umm...I didn't make that. I quoted that off a creepy guy on slashdot.

Oh, I know, sorry, didn't mean to imply it was you.

Oh, I know, sorry, didn't mean to imply it was you.

It's fine, it just kinda came off that way.

This guy is not doing his kid any favours. Protecting your kid is one thing but if you don't have trust in him, he'll never be able to look after himself. It isn't such a big deal now cause 9 year olds do need a lot of supervision but the kid will go nuts if you try to do it to him at 15 or 16. This guy goes way too far.

If there's any justice in the world, this guy's kid will grow up to be a liberal pro-choice muslim.

Who lives in a tree with his husband, Sparkling Wildflower.

Actions like this only make a kid do whatever they want to do in a more clandestine manner.

Give the kid a freer rein, and you should be able to notice if something's wrong through any behavioural changes.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction...



...this kid is going to make one hell of a drug addict! :p

about 6 months after that kid turns 18 and leaves home he's going to be a gibbering wreck. he's not going to have a clue how to fend for himself or associate with the right kind of people because all his life his parents have done that for him. the worst thing about that is they're not going to give him free will til he's 18 and they listen to his phonecalls. the kid's either going to become so rebellious they completely lose touch with him or he's going to become so attached to home they'll never cut him loose. he'll probably also become completely paranoid.

Either that or he'll go completely crazy, getting as much sex, drugs and rock and roll that he can get in the first few years after he leaves home.

Check out this post I found on slashdot:



Here's the original page it appeared on: http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/01/29/2314253 .It's towards the bottom.

This is terrifying.

Jesus Christ, the kid's only 9. He's not a freaking terrorist.

This guy isn't teaching his kid how to use the internet properly, he's teaching his kid that he has no rights at all.

This guy is not doing his kid any favours. Protecting your kid is one thing but if you don't have trust in him, he'll never be able to look after himself. It isn't such a big deal now cause 9 year olds do need a lot of supervision but the kid will go nuts if you try to do it to him at 15 or 16. This guy goes way too far.

Yeah. The message this kid is getting is that he has no rights at all.

This guy isn't teaching his kid how to use the internet properly, he's teaching his kid that he has no rights at all.

Then again, I do like his stance on mutual trust.
Pity he doesn't act on it.

I hate him. Let's go LUE on his ass!

Come on! I can take him! I was in Neopets, I saw things!

http://www.hotelnapoleonparis.com/maquette2/images/accueil_napoleon_01.gif

WAR!

This guy is like a pocketversion of the DDR. His boy will either dig himself an escape-tunnel or end up as a starving peasant.


http://www.worldstatesmen.org/de-ddr.gif

This guy is like a pocketversion of the DDR. His boy will either dig himself an escape-tunnel or end up as a starving peasant.


http://www.worldstatesmen.org/de-ddr.gif

*hums the tune from The Great Escape*

This guy is like a pocketversion of the DDR. His boy will either dig himself an escape-tunnel or end up as a starving peasant.


http://www.worldstatesmen.org/de-ddr.gif

Or become a policeman who will find out his world is only a simulation? (yay Polyplay)

At least he's not one of those parents who are too lazy to watch what their kids do and then bitch about how everything should be censored to protect them.
I agree.

Or become a policeman who will find out his world is only a simulation? (yay Polyplay)

Not sure what you're referencing, but wasn't polyplay the DDR pacman thing?