NationStates Jolt Archive

I think it's nice that they tried to help the mentally handicapped, but puting a mentally deficient man in charge of the county's finances probably wasn't the best idea. Now doctors haven't diagnosed the man as retarded, but the fact that he dumped over a million dollars of county money in a Nigerian 419 scam leads me to believe that he's not all there.


http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070118/NEWS06/701180305

419s, making you look retarded since at least 100 years ago.

A little harsh? Perhaps.

However, damn funny.

We elected one as President, i fail to see the big deal electing one as a small county treasurer.

BA-ZING! :D

We elected one as President, i fail to see the big deal electing one as a small county treasurer.

We elected one as President, i fail to see the big deal electing one as a small county treasurer.

Garrr, beat me to it!

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news1169.jpg

Developmentally Disabled Senator Wants To Be Treated Like Any Other Lawmaker (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28176)

Yes, it seems that the mentally retarded have finally broken through the marble ceiling. :D

(PS: The Onion has an article for everything. Srsly.)

EDIT: And, while we are on the subject of handicapped people and the Onion, why not serve up their list of the Top Ten Rejected Euphemisms for the Disabled:

1. The unnerving
2. The conveniently parked
3. Go-tards
4. The differently pleasant to be around
5. Stumbly-wumblys
6. Prey
7. The just-a-tad-off
8. Cincinnati Bengals
9. Pinnacles of human perfection
10. Ingredient "D"

How do they do it? :p

"Go-Tards" is making it difficult for me to eat my sausage inna bun. Funniest word of the week, and it's only Tuesday!

EDIT: And, while we are on the subject of handicapped people and the Onion, why not serve up their list of the Top Ten Rejected Euphemisms for the Disabled:



Oh - man, funniest thing I've read all day. I vote we try to get 'retard' replaced by 'the conviently parked' or 'differently pleasant to be around' in everyday language.

I vote for 'conveniently parked'.

My favorite one is the Stumbly-wumblys. :D

Yes, I'm going to Hell for making fun of the mentally disabled, I know.

Anyone else read these and wonder who the fuck just made a million dollars?

Bush To Increase Funding For Hope-Based Initiatives
November 23, 2005 | Issue 41•47

WASHINGTON— President Bush announced today that he will sign a bill providing an additional $2.8 billion for private organizations that emphasize the importance of hoping for change.


Bush presents his plan to fund organizations that hope for change.
"This bill acknowledges the immeasurable role of hope in envisioning a better world for everyone," Bush said during a press conference. "Starting today, I ask all Americans to hope together as one nation that the difficult problems that grip our nation will go away someday."

The president's move will help direct federal funds to such groups as the National Hope Foundation, which has been hoping for a cure for cancer for nearly two decades.

"There are many in our country who are without hope," Bush said. "Yet there are many respected organizations in America that are actively hoping things get better. This program will assist these organizations in obtaining government grants, which will allow them to continue the important hoping that must be done."

Among the programs likely to receive funding is Project Hope You Don't Get Sick, a non-profit organization hoping that over 45 million Americans receive the proper health care they need.

Dream Job United, another likely recipient, is a widely acclaimed program in which the ill-prepared and uneducated are trained to hope for job interviews at top companies.

Another project slated for assistance in is a Louisiana-based teen-pregnancy reduction program, in which volunteers hope teens abstain from intercourse.

Under the bill, wish-based initiatives will also be eligible for increased funding. Dozens of independent wishful-thinking foundations, such as America Wishes Things Were Better, expect to receive grants to fund distribution of pennies, wishbones, and birthday candles.

Those with wishes and hopes applauded the president's move, saying that faith alone cannot rectify the nation's social ills.

"Faith-based problem-solving is noble, but we should not discount the power of hope," said veteran hoper Howard Thorndike, who heads the Please Oh Please Institute, a Houston-based wish tank. "'Hail Mary' strategies, for example, are a part of the fabric of our nation, from the football field to the boardroom, and our government ignores such traditions at its peril."

Bush echoed Thorndike's sentiments. "As your president, I have seen firsthand what hoping can do," he said. "I have heard stories of decent people trapped under piles of rubble, and I have hoped that they would be rescued. And eventually, many were. Recently, powerful storms and destructive hurricanes ravaged some of our great cities. I hope that you will join me in wishing that we do not get hit by any more of those."

Bush added: "Laura and I hope every night that good things will happen for our great country. My fellow Americans, I call on you to do the same."

© Copyright 2006, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.

gotta love the onion he! he! he!

seen the one about the moron who got in a wreck at the train tracks, decided he would beat the train--it was an underpass--and at the last minute he panicked and hit the abutment? sweeet!