NationStates Jolt Archive

Well earlier today, I was talking to a girl I know about a recent article that we both read in a periodical, do not what its name was, that suggested that women in marriage have on a number of occasions have had abortions without ever telling their husbands about it, which later some of them discovered after reading about in their wives medical record. So me and her got in a debate weather or not they straight up tell their husbands about it. So I argued that she and a woman’s has the right to be notified or told about it as if they truly love each they should hold no large secrets from each other what they do with their lives in marriage. So we both came to the conclusion that women have the right to have the abortion, which we both already agreed upon, but if it happens during marriage the husband, and in nearly all cases the father of the aborted child, should be aware of the abortion as it should also be their right to know about it.

So what do you think about this NSG?

One would hope that their relationship is strong enough and the husband has ample respect of her wishes, so that ideally she would actually want to tell him and discuss it with him without fear of being forced into carrying a child to term against her will. However, even in today's society, I doubt most women would be 100% comfortable in doing so.

Therefore, I feel it's the woman's right to keep it quiet if she so wishes.

One would hope that their relationship is strong enough and the husband has ample respect of her wishes, so that ideally she would actually want to tell him and discuss it with him without fear of being forced into carrying a child to term against her will. However, even in today's society, I doubt most women would be 100% comfortable in doing so.

Therefore, I feel it's the woman's right to keep it quiet if she so wishes.
Agreed. If a married woman goes to through the trauma and mess of an abortion alone, she probably has a good reason for doing it.

I have a hard time imagining that any woman in an open, supportive, loving relationship wouldn't discuss such a decision with her partner.

I have a very easy time believing that a woman in an abusive, hateful, or otherwise screwed-up relationship wouldn't feel safe or comfortable doing so.

When people discuss any sort of abortion-notification issue, they often seem not to understand that any "rules" on the matter aren't being made for the happy, functional relationships, but rather for the screwed-up, unsafe, miserable, unhealthy relationships. A woman who doesn't tell her husband about her decision to get an abortion almost certainly has a darn good reason not to.

Usually they have really good reasons, yes, but sometimes the female mind implodes based on a self-esteem or assumptions about their own perceptions of how other people are going to deal with things and they keep quiet and go through it alone when they don't have to.

If you can't tell your own husband you're getting an abortion - and he's done nothing to warrant calling in the police or said nothing anti-abortion - then it might be time to try a more objective thinking through of the situation and get your own feelings out of the mess. The whole reason for being married is to not be alone through the hard times, right? If ya gotta go through it alone then why are you still married?

That's what I'd say to any wife who didn't want to share this type of gigantic-enormous thing with the partner she chose for life, anyway.

The woman should have to tell her husband, but their relationship is on the rocks if she doesn't feel she can tell him though.