NationStates Jolt Archive


Funniest but dumbest song ever!

Mighty Socialist
19-01-2007, 18:45
"Let's meet contestant number one
He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon, what's your question?"

"Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick"

[Violent J]
Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"
Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13, she got some big tits
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear

"Now, let's me contestant number two
He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon, let's hear your question"

"I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?"

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here
I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?!)
Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
I'd be blowing fucking nuggets off all day
I'd grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playin
As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!

"Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon
It's a touch choice so far
Sharon, let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"

"Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!"

[Violent J]
Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are
I'd tell that I like the way you make your titties shake
And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rickie Lake!

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Fuck that, you'd be jocking me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face

[Violent J]
Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better
Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap
Shit, you don't want contestant number two
He's mad-whack

[Violent J]
I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama
Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!
Smunkeeville
19-01-2007, 19:03
ICP has better songs.........if you like that sort of thing........which I grew out of years ago.
English Humour
19-01-2007, 19:10
Who's song is this?
Farnhamia
19-01-2007, 19:11
That's a song? :eek:
Good Lifes
20-01-2007, 03:34
I like a lot of Ray Stevens--The squirrel that got lose in the church is good.
Smunkeeville
20-01-2007, 03:41
I like a lot of Ray Stevens--The squirrel that got lose in the church is good.

Hey! Something we have in common, I like that song he does about sitting up with the dead. :D
Steel Butterfly
20-01-2007, 03:41
Honestly...is ICP still around?
The Aeson
20-01-2007, 03:45
"Let's meet contestant number one
He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
Who says, "woman love his sexy smile"

I was hoping for the Clown Prince of Crime. This thread fails.
Fartsniffage
20-01-2007, 03:46
Some people might like to get a train to work
Or drive in in a Beamer or a merc,
Some guys like to travel in by bus,
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today
I'm going to take my bike,
Coz once again the Tube's on strike.
The greedy bastards want extra pay
for sitting on their arse all day
even though they earn 30K .
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain,
Where the fuck's my fucking train?

London Underground
London Underground
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground
London Underground
They're all greedy cunts I want to shoot them all with a rifle.

All they say is "Please mind the doors",
and they learned that on the two day course,
This job could be done by a four year old.
They just leave us freezing in the cold.
What you smell is what you get
Burger King and piss and sweat
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
With tourists treading on your feet
and chewing gum on every seat,
so don't tell me to "Mind the gap"
I want my fucking money back.

London Underground
London Underground
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground
London Underground
They're all greedy cunts I want to shoot them all with a rifle
LaLaLaLa
LaLaLaLa

The floors are sticky and the seats are damp,
Every platform has a fucking tramp,
But the drivers get the day off when we're all late for work again,

London Underground
London Underground
WaWa Wankers , They're all Wankers ,
London Underground
London Underground

Take your Oystercard, and shove it up your arsehole.



All to the tune of 'Going Underground'.
Proggresica
20-01-2007, 03:50
Uh, I used to like ICP in the early years of high school. I can't believe I did. Then again they do have some songs so absurd they are funny in their own right. That boogie-man one is pretty lol.
Teh_pantless_hero
20-01-2007, 03:56
Honestly...is ICP still around?

Yes, sadly people keep buying their shit, literally.
Proggresica
20-01-2007, 03:58
Yes, sadly people keep buying their shit, literally.

No, not literally. Do you even know what the word means?
Teh_pantless_hero
20-01-2007, 03:59
No, not literally. Do you even know what the word means?

Yes, are you stupid?
Proggresica
20-01-2007, 04:00
Yes, are you stupid?

People don't literally buy Violent J's faeces do they?
Teh_pantless_hero
20-01-2007, 04:02
People don't literally buy Violent J's faeces do they?

I wouldn't put it past ICP fans.
Smunkeeville
20-01-2007, 04:13
Honestly...is ICP still around?

as long as there are 14 year old boys they will be :(