NationStates Jolt Archive

I tried so hard not to click. I did. Really.

EDIT: Apparently DCD's threads are so good that I am compelled to click even before he has finished posting.

A chimp named Judy escaped from her enclosure at a zoo and started cleaning the toilet and tidying up. I hate cleaning, so this gives me an idea. Now, chimps are endangered, right? So here's the plan. We start up a business taking endangered chimps from Africa and give them jobs as janitors and housekeepers in the developed world where nobody will try to hunt them for food. What do you think?http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CHIMP_SPREE?SITE=FLTAL&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Time to leave a trail of banana chips from the zoo to my house, just in case...

Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.Man, she's thorough!

Time to leave a trail of banana chips from the zoo to my house, just in case...
*secretly redistributes the chips to point to her house instead*

A chimp named Judy escaped from her enclosure at a zoo and started cleaning the toilet and tidying up. I hate cleaning, so this gives me an idea. Now, chimps are endangered, right? So here's the plan. We start up a business taking endangered chimps from Africa and give them jobs as janitors and housekeepers in the developed world where nobody will try to hunt them for food. What do you think?http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/CHIMP_SPREE?SITE=FLTAL&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT
But then what jobs will the Mexican immigrants do? Won't somebody think of the immigrants?!

We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and Tommy jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.

The trouble with chimps is that they tend to get awfully aggressive when they grow up. So I wonder if you could domesticate (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/health/25rats.html?ex=1311480000&en=ee8f5fbaf0576814&ei=5090&partner=wikipedia&emc=rss) them. Perfect home help there.

The trouble with chimps is that they tend to get awfully aggressive when they grow up. So I wonder if you could domesticate (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/health/25rats.html?ex=1311480000&en=ee8f5fbaf0576814&ei=5090&partner=wikipedia&emc=rss) them. Perfect home help there.

Since we domesticated dingoes and suchlike into dogs, we can domesticate chimps, too. It might take 30,000 years, but we can do it. <.< >.>

The trouble with chimps is that they tend to get awfully aggressive when they grow up. So I wonder if you could domesticate (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/health/25rats.html?ex=1311480000&en=ee8f5fbaf0576814&ei=5090&partner=wikipedia&emc=rss) them. Perfect home help there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conquest_of_the_Planet_of_the_Apes

Since we domesticated dingoes and suchlike into dogs, we can domesticate chimps, too. It might take 30,000 years, but we can do it. <.< >.>
Ah, but today we have all the advantages of modern intensive selective breeding. They did it with those Russian foxes rather quick.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conquest_of_the_Planet_of_the_Apes
http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/5616/1re3.gif

http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/5616/1re3.gif
I hate e-very ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-z...
Rock me Dr. Zaus!

how sure are we that this wasn't just a very hairy maid?