NationStates Jolt Archive

Simple enough little interwebthingy page with a name, age and gender question that predicts how you will depart this world.
I got.
While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours.
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/prediction.asp?u3289

That is great only last night was i out playing cards.

EDIT:
LINKY...
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com

You are struck by lightning and killed while walking your dog during a storm.

But...I don't have a dog.

And I'm never getting one now...HA!

While rummaging through the trunk of your car, a disgruntled neighbor approaches you from behind and slams the trunk repeatedly onto you, eventually cutting you in half at the waist.

hmm, I'm not going anywhere near my car now.:eek:

It's full of shit. It said I would drown because I don't know how to swim, but I took swimming lessons as a kid.

While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.

:)

Hey, you know what is an even more interesting link on the Death Psychic?

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/

:)

WTF, my death is pretty boring compared to the ones you people are getting ...

You attempt to go for a swim in the hotel pool after having one too many drinks late one night. Once in the deep end, it dawns on you that you don't know how to swim. You struggle violently as your lungs begin to fill up with water, but it does little good; you drown to death. Your body isn't seen until the following morning.
But... I know how to swim... and I don't drink either...

Hey, you know what is an even more interesting link on the Death Psychic?

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/

I got 67%.

I got 67%.

I got 75%.

Hey, you know what is an even more interesting link on the Death Psychic?

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/
You got 8 out of 12 right, or about 67%.
WTF, my death is pretty boring compared to the ones you people are getting ...

Well, after all the paint samples I have taken from stores.. I deserve what I got.

I got 75%.

Lie.

They're all men, I tell you.

You are beaten to death by a group of thugs in a dark alley
dam must of left my gun at home

:)
Well ever since your thread about what 'i' would do if i knew where your house was thread...

Well, after all the paint samples I have taken from stores.. I deserve what I got.

No kidding. What kind of a bastard does that? Do you realize how many poor, uneducated Chinese slaves died to make those paint samples?

No kidding. What kind of a bastard does that? Do you realize how many poor, uneducated Chinese slaves died to make those paint samples?

It amuses me to know people died for my greed.

In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by a drug dealer.

Aaaaw maaaan! And I really was just carrying a suitcase full of sugar.

And for the Hemaleshemale i got:

You got 10 out of 12 right, or about 83%.
A very good score! It looks like you can troll the singles bars with almost total impunity. Just don't get cocky.

Anyone got higher so far?

You are beaten to death by a group of thugs in a dark alley
dam must of left my gun at home

that one was at 23

this lot

24:While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.

25: While driving, you give the wrong guy the finger for cutting you off, and he follows you home. As you step out of your car, he leans out his window and fires several shots into the back of your head. Your lifeless body hits the cement, and the gunman drives away (safe from that one i don't drive)

26: During a heated argument with your wife, she attacks you with a kitchen knife, stabbing you repeatedly. :eek: mm shit

27:You express dissatisfaction with your meal at a roadside diner. Seconds later, the fry cook springs from his kitchen and douses you with a tub of scalding grease.

28:After years of mistreating telemarketers, your lifeless and battered body is found next to a bloodied telephone handset.

29:A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a garden hoe.
:confused:

It amuses me to know people died for my greed.

On an unrelated note, this is my 1777th post. I feel that this is somehow significant.

While having fun with fireworks, an M-80 blows up in your hand. You die from massive blood loss.

...

On an unrelated note, this is my 1777th post. I feel that this is somehow significant.

Oh, it is.

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/image/photo_2.jpg

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
why she walks like a woman and talks like a man
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola

You express dissatisfaction with your meal at a roadside diner. Seconds later, the fry cook springs from his kitchen and douses you with a tub of scalding grease.

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/image/photo_2.jpg

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand
why she walks like a woman and talks like a man
Oh my Lola, lo lo lo Lola, lo lo lo Lola

DIRTY TRANNY PICS! :( *masturbates* >.>

You express dissatisfaction with your meal at a roadside diner. Seconds later, the fry cook springs from his kitchen and douses you with a tub of scalding grease.

Would it be creepy if I ask you if you are 27 years old? Probably.

Me:
While on a group tour of a candy factory, you fall over a guardrail and land on a taffy pulling machine. Your head, torso, and legs are ripped into three separate sections.
What a sweet way to go!


Me as Demented Hamsters:
While eating dinner at home alone, you begin to choke. Unable to breathe and unable to call for help, you quickly pass out and die.
That's a dull way to go. I'm going to eat with friends from now on.

While marching in a local parade, you trip and stumble over a pothole. You are immediately crushed under the wheels of a fire engine full of clowns.

Knives in sewers, small cars, and now Fire Trucks? There's just something about those guys...

Would it be creepy if I ask you if you are 27 years old? Probably.

would be as that's what i got for 27, that's if my wife dont stabs me to death me first

*look's at her right now*

Me:

What a sweet way to go!


Me as Demented Hamsters:

That's a dull way to go. I'm going to eat with friends from now on.
Clever idea.
Did you put your NS nations age or your actual age?
Harlesburg with NS age
While walking to your car after visiting a friend in a rather bad part of town, you are caught in the middle of a drive-by shooting. You are hit several times in the chest. You watch as blood pours from your body as you fall to the ground. You die from massive blood loss.

GRAND!

Harlesburg with Actual Age
While grocery shopping, a can of soup falls from above your head and strikes you in the face. You sue the grocery store, and upon hearing that you've won a large cash settlement, you suffer a massive heart attack and fall to the ground dead.

DAMN YOU CAMBELLS!

Clever idea.
DAMN YOU CAMBELLS!

Mmmmmm Mmmmmm good. ;)

Clever idea.
Did you put your NS nations age or your actual age?
Nationstate age of course!

You mistakenly park in a handicap spot in the grocery store parking lot. Your lifeless body is found shortly thereafter covered in an intricate criss-cross of wheelchair tracks.

This just makes me want to go park in a handicap spot to see what happens.

This just makes me want to go park in a handicap spot to see what happens.

Has Seinfeld taught you nothing?

As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you are stripped and chained to the ground spread-eagle. Your torso is slit open with a razor blade, and you are covered with dozens of large rats, which proceed to feed their way into your body.

I prefer it when psychics predict nice things.

Clever idea.
Did you put your NS nations age or your actual age?

You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.

OMG!

Ew ew ew ew ew.

Hey, you know what is an even more interesting link on the Death Psychic?

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/

Here are your results:

You got 8 out of 12 right, or about 67%.
This is a pretty good score, but you could do better. Make sure you meet your dates in a well-lit room.


Damn those good looking she-males! :p

Mauled by a rabid pit bull

You are involved in a car accident while failing to wear your seatbelt. You are thrown through the windshield, and your lifeless body is splattered onto the street.


While on a boat, you slip and fall overboard. As you struggle to climb back in, your hands are chopped off by the motor's blades. You sink beneath the water as you bleed profusely.


A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a garden hoe.

I like this site.

You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.

OMG!

Ew ew ew ew ew.

Your death is the best one yet. Could you post photos of it for us?

Your death is the best one yet. Could you post photos of it for us?

*vomits*

A gang of midgets wraps you in plastic wrap and proceeds to cook you with a hair dryer. You are slowly squeezed to death as the plastic wrap shrinks around your body.

Damn Midgets!

*vomits*

That too, if you want.

As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up.

That one's pretty gruesome, up there with Ruffy's, IMO.

I just randomly did ruffy just now...

While attempting to unclog your garbage disposal with your bare hand, your wife inadventently turns on the disposal. Your hand is quickly mangled by the blades, and you bleed to death.

You have bad luck, don't you Ruffy?

I put in Jesus. This is what I got:
You were nailed to a cross. It looked painful!

If you put in "93" for age, you get "Shouldn't you be dead already?"

SHIVA will die of:
You express dissatisfaction with your meal at a roadside diner. Seconds later, the fry cook springs from his kitchen and douses you with a tub of scalding grease.

VISHNU Will die of:
An ex-friend beats you to death with a full gallon of paint.

JEHOVAH will die of:
While swimming, a power line falls into the pool you're in, sending a million volts of electricity through your body. You're fried instantly.

SATAN (I had to add williams for it to work) will die of:
While using a chainsaw to help your friend cut down a tree, you slip and sever your leg. You die from rapid blood loss.

As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you're beaten and tortured for days. While you're still alive, your body is put into a meat grinder and ground up.

That one's pretty gruesome, up there with Ruffy's, IMO.

Dammit, how the hell did they find out about my plans? Man I really do need to stop telling people this. God....


:p

That too, if you want.

Could you just imagine it? Vomiting up worms, only to have a long one half stuck in your throat and half hanging out of your mouth?

Dammit, how the hell did they find out about my plans? Man I really do need to stop telling people this. God....


:p

I liked the plan about the bus more.

I liked the plan about the bus more.

Yea, but I wanted something more personal, so, yea.

Yea, but I wanted something more personal, so, yea.

And we were getting along so well. *Hides plan labeled 'SLAUGHTER WILGROVE', detailing a plan involving the replacing of testicles with small hedgehogs*

And we were getting along so well. *Hides plan labeled 'SLAUGHTER WILGROVE', detailing a plan involving the replacing of testicles with small hedgehogs*

You know, I want you to have some free meat, come down in the basement where I store my meat please.

You know, I want you to have some free meat, come down in the basement where I store my meat please.

Have I shown you my hedgehog farm?

Hilarious

After swallowing several capsules which you thought were pain relievers, you're told that you were given "foam animal in a capsule" capsules as a joke. The foam animals expand to twenty times their original size, causing a major intestinal obstruction. Unable to pass solid waste, you die from self-toxification.

Have I shown you my hedgehog farm?

Actually you can see them in my meat locker. Now you know where Chicken Mc.Nuggets come from.

That was stupid. It said I would die from getting shocked while swimming in a pool. The only problem is I hate swimming in pools and haven't in years.

Actually you can see them in my meat locker. Now you know where Chicken Mc.Nuggets come from.

This explains why they taste so good.

That was stupid. It said I would die from getting shocked while swimming in a pool. The only problem is I hate swimming in pools and haven't in years.

You'll be pushed.


what?

That was stupid. It said I would die from getting shocked while swimming in a pool. The only problem is I hate swimming in pools and haven't in years.

Who said you would be swimming under your own free will?

Could you just imagine it? Vomiting up worms, only to have a long one half stuck in your throat and half hanging out of your mouth?

Impressive! It would be a vomiting vicious circle. :p

34: While walking near a construction site, an open box of nails is dropped from several hundred feet above your head. You are impaled by hundreds of rapidly-falling nails, turning you into a human sieve.

40: While sleeping, you're tied to your bed by your wife and peeled to death using a vegetable peeler.

i think i should leave her now

Hilarious

After swallowing several capsules which you thought were pain relievers, you're told that you were given "foam animal in a capsule" capsules as a joke. The foam animals expand to twenty times their original size, causing a major intestinal obstruction. Unable to pass solid waste, you die from self-toxification.

That's a good one too. That'd be a pretty horrid death I would think. Would it be a bowell/intestinal rupture that killed you?

While on a group tour of a candy factory, you fall over a guardrail and land on a taffy pulling machine. Your head, torso, and legs are ripped into three separate sections.
-----------------
Whilst at the Jelly Belly factory, I nearly fell over the guard rail.

My little sister pushed me.

She's on medication now.

Simple enough little interwebthingy page with a name, age and gender question that predicts how you will depart this world.
I got.

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/prediction.asp?u3289

That is great only last night was i out playing cards.

EDIT:
LINKY...
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com

I got a pretty gruesome death.

As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, your face is skinned using steel wool and subsequently doused with bleach. While you're still alive, your face is then doused with ammonia. The bleach and ammonia chemically react and melt the remaining flesh from your skull.

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/prediction.asp?u47058

^ Nice.


Dude! We've got a guy with a homicidal sister now!

"An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg."


Ok, stay away from amputees.

A disgruntled coworker beats you to death with a bag full of loose change.


That bastard!

A group of disgruntled coworkers duct tapes you to a wall and uses you as a human dartboard. You die from agonizingly slow blood loss caused by hundreds of puncture wounds.
...ow.

Also: I got 100% on the hemaleorshemale thingy.

And I made this up and sent it in to them in the hopes of a free t-shirt, though I doubt I'll get it, considering the stuff you guys have been getting:
While emerging from a porta-potty next to a gas station you are kidnapped and taken to a stranger's home, where the stranger proceeds to chain you naked and spread-eagled on a stone tablet, taking a dull butter knife and carving every piece of flesh off your body starting from the genitals, shoving the flesh down your throat and forcing you to swallow it. Hours upon hours pass before you die, each one full of the most supreme agony.

While walking downtown, you fall into an open manhole and sink beneath the thick sewage.

You are caught cheating at miniature golf and are beaten to death with a putter.

While you're having lunch at an outdoor cafe, a suicide bomber blows himself up next to you.

Aaaaw maaaan! And I really was just carrying a suitcase full of sugar.

And for the Hemaleshemale i got:



Anyone got higher so far?

I got 92% .. or 11 out of 12.

But I used to live on Oxford St in Sydney .. the Gay capital of the world so I had a bit of an advantage.

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/image/photo_6.jpg


Thats the one that got me..... That is a spectacular job they had done. It may just be the photo.. but totally faultless...

"You defeat an egomaniacal opponent at chess. In his rage, he stabs you though the eye with his bishop."

I see.

Anybody tried out http://www.thepregnancytester.com/?

Apparently, I'm pregnant and Arnold Schwarzenegger is the father. Just made me think of the film Junior. :p

"You defeat an egomaniacal opponent at chess. In his rage, he stabs you though the eye with his bishop."

I see.

Anybody tried out http://www.thepregnancytester.com/?

Apparently, I'm pregnant and Arnold Schwarzenegger is the father. Just made me think of the film Junior. :p

My baby boy is fathered by Jesse Jackson. I feel very dirty now. :(

Helspotistan: ...are you high? That is obviously a guy. Just look at him! Note the LACK OF ANY BREASTS AT ALL.

"While drunk with friends, you fall down a flight of stairs and break your neck. Thinking you've simply passed out, your friends ignore your lifeless body for hours."
Pfft, calls it self psychic I don't have friends. Oh, I just made myself sad:(

"You defeat an egomaniacal opponent at chess. In his rage, he stabs you though the eye with his bishop."

I see.

Anybody tried out http://www.thepregnancytester.com/?

Apparently, I'm pregnant and Arnold Schwarzenegger is the father. Just made me think of the film Junior. :p

i did my ladys name

she pregnant, it's a boy and it the Neighbors Kid who only 18

i did my ladys name

she pregnant, it's a boy and it the Neighbors Kid who only 18

:eek: harsh...

Apparently I'm man-pregnant. It's strange because there are no neighbor kids on my street...

:eek: harsh...

Apparently I'm man-pregnant. It's strange because there are no neighbor kids on my street...

only female kids around her home so try to work that out

only female kids around her home so try to work that out

:confused: Only rule left to break is gravity. *floats away...*

:confused: Only rule left to break is gravity. *floats away...*

:eek:

While serving jury duty, an accused murderer overpowers the bailiff and beats you to death with the stenotype machine.


Hmm...

I got 92% .. or 11 out of 12.

But I used to live on Oxford St in Sydney .. the Gay capital of the world so I had a bit of an advantage.

http://www.hemaleorshemale.com/image/photo_6.jpg


Thats the one that got me..... That is a spectacular job they had done. It may just be the photo.. but totally faultless...

One of many times being bi comes in handy: Who cares if they aren't really a chick. :D

You are abducted by aliens for research purposes. After months of humiliating and invasive tests, you are returned to your point of abduction from a height of 3,000 feet.

I fouund this to be hilariously ironic. I know for certain that fate has a sense of humour, considering my adamant belief in the nonexistence of "aliens." :)

A disgruntled employee in a sporting goods store beats you to death with a hockey stick.

meh..