NationStates Jolt Archive

Upon sitting back and examining my life as objectively as I could, I determined that I am completely devoid of compassion, empathy, or any of the number of other things people claim make us "human" -- if such feelings are produced within my brain, they never reach the realm of conscious thought for processing and thus I do not ever experience them or make any decisions or choices based on them. In effect, it's the same thing.

I am a bit worried about this, partly because so much of "humanity" and good portions of rational thought are all based around this emotion, and without its presence I may resort to irrational or damaging behaviour (obviously not my intent). Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>

I'm interested to know, is this lack a good or a bad thing? If the latter, how can I change it, if at all? How should I live my life without experiencing any type of conscious emotional connection? I suspect it was this lack of emotional connection that caused my depression, as what we know as "empathy" is actually designed as a self-esteem boost so we will do more of it, and without it I had little to stimulate my self-esteem. (Unconscious connections may be formed, but don't seem to be registered in the realm of clear thought until they're broken.)

Oh, and if I ever state that I consider empathy and compassion signs of weakness, ignore it -- it's probably just my brain rationalising and trying to increase my sense of self-worth through other ways. FYI.

yes you can learn to be empathic or at least learn to look empathic. there are some rules and theories you can follow and of course a lot of practice. actually i should have learned to be empathic by now (it's the purpose of the communication class), although i do think i need some practice :).

anyway, if you really want to learn this you might want to find some proffesionals and other people to practice with roleplays etc.

Theres some illness (emotional / physcological) that doe's that to people , by that i eman takign away emotion etc , etc I can't remember whats it called though.

I would contest the validity of your having no emotion. A year ago, I believed myself to be as much, however, several things have happened, and I can assure, nobody is unemotional.

Theres some illness (emotional / physcological) that doe's that to people , by that i eman takign away emotion etc , etc I can't remember whats it called though.

It's called antisocial personality disorder. If you cannot empathise and have no compassion, you are a sociopath. I sincerely doubt you have no emotion or compassion, since if you were truly a sociopath you wouldn't give two shits about being one.

Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>.

pfft like girls go for compassion :p

I say your fine the fact that your fretting about it however, hmmm have you ever looked at your perants old photos like….

not having any empathy will cause you problems. its very hard to predict how people will react to you and your actions if you dont understand where they are coming from.

I would contest the validity of your having no emotion. A year ago, I believed myself to be as much, however, several things have happened, and I can assure, nobody is unemotional.

I never said I had no emotions. In fact, I have a fair number, as many as everyone else does (scientists identified something like 50 different ones) -- for instance, I feel fear when I see a huge rock falling out of the sky towards my head, or anger when someone calls me a douchebag asshole heathen pervert, etc. (I wouldn't be alive otherwise.) However, a few of them simply don't seem to be getting processed for some reason, specifically those that regulate empathy and compassion, and all related emotions.

I'm not even sure whether this is good or bad, as my brain has filled the hole with the idea that empathy and compassion are signs of weakness or gullibility or something.

I never said I had no emotions. In fact, I have a fair number, as many as everyone else does (scientists identified something like 50 different ones) -- for instance, I feel fear when I see a huge rock falling out of the sky towards my head, or anger when someone calls me a douchebag asshole heathen pervert, etc. (I wouldn't be alive otherwise.) However, a few of them simply don't seem to be getting processed for some reason, specifically those that regulate empathy and compassion, and all related emotions.

I'm not even sure whether this is good or bad, as my brain has filled the hole with the idea that empathy and compassion are signs of weakness or gullibility or something.

If I failed to articulate my point precisely, I'm sorry. Compassion, empathy and the like are all emotions I percieved as "weak" a year ago. Admittedly, at 17, and in school, my psyche is reasonably malleable, however, I can't concede that you have no compassion or empathy.

not having any empathy will cause you problems. its very hard to predict how people will react to you and your actions if you dont understand where they are coming from.
That's exactly what I was worried about, yeah. Then again, I'm not sure if I should even care that much.
It's called antisocial personality disorder. If you cannot empathise and have no compassion, you are a sociopath. I sincerely doubt you have no emotion or compassion, since if you were truly a sociopath you wouldn't give two shits about being one.
True, I suppose. I believe the primary difference between sociopathy and whatever's wrong with me is that I'm producing emotions at a normal rate, just not all of them are getting through to conscious thought to affect my actions and decisions and judgment etc., so I therefore appear incapable of forming emotional connections with others. If I didn't feel emotions at all I would likely not be alive (fear has saved me on at least two occasions).

See a phychartrist before you end up a big politician or a corporate CEO.

If I failed to articulate my point precisely, I'm sorry. Compassion, empathy and the like are all emotions I percieved as "weak" a year ago. Admittedly, at 17, and in school, my psyche is reasonably malleable, however, I can't concede that you have no compassion or empathy.

I can't either. I'm just not sure where it is. I'm most frequently told that I'm consciously trying to deny empathy, which is a rather annoying attitude because I'm not -- it doesn't seem to be there in the first place. Psychiatrists are all biased (an anti-meds one attributed it to my former medication; a pro-meds one attributed it to my getting off the former medication; etc.) due to training and background, and anyway I've long since (ok, 3 weeks ago) realised that I'm the only person who can help myself get over my own emotional problems, and the world has more important things to deal with.

I can't either. I'm just not sure where it is. I'm most frequently told that I'm consciously trying to deny empathy, which is a rather annoying attitude because I'm not -- it doesn't seem to be there in the first place. Psychiatrists are all biased (an anti-meds one attributed it to my former medication; a pro-meds one attributed it to my getting off the former medication; etc.) due to training and background, and anyway I've long since (ok, 3 weeks ago) realised that I'm the only person who can help myself get over my own emotional problems, and the world has more important things to deal with.

In all truth, what reversed my empathy and compassion was the death of my greatgrandmother, and my grandfather's contracting terminal cancer, and my contemplation of them, however, I suppose it does validate the suggestion that such transformations come from within.

I actually can relate to this, Czardas. I really have trouble feeling empathy or compassion. Well, I'm not sure trouble is the right word, because I enjoy being this way. I don't really know why, maybe I'm the sociopath, but there's just something enjoyable about not giving a fuck about others.

Try not to worry to much as clear thought is rare, and this would give you an opertunity to be able to clearly think and choose how you want to develop yourself.

However this is nether good nor bad, while im not sure of the specifics of your condition i know that with myself as my emotions are almost dont have any impact on my life and for that kind of reaction it would require that i ether have no emotion or an extreamly limited form of emotion, however as a side effect i am veary sencitive to the emotional condition of others that are in close proxcimity (this is an intentional limit on my part as i would veary quickly go insane if i had to deal with the emotional statis of every being in a stedly expanding range).

Now as such if i am in close range of to many others my abilitys start to muddle and i have to take my time to think about things as all the conflicting emotional energy is quite overwhelming to me as i for this same reason rarely go out into large public areas.

However this ability to tell what someone is feeling makes any encounter on an individual basis veary informative if i were the type for it i would get plenty of attention of any kind i wanted, however as i have seen into many this way it just makes me want to stay away from most because i dont wish to be involved in this self destructive mind set that seems to be quite prevelant, i dont wish to go into to many others heads/hearts as every time i do a part of them goes with me (think of it as copy and pasteing a few lines of code) and i always come away a little diffrant then before.

However before i was so able to feel what others feel i had an encounter with another person and the time spent with this person sharpened my sences to such a digree it was quite a shock to me after the time together had past i found a new and persent sharpened sence of emotions of others, before then i was quite unable to so easly feel what others felt, this lengthy encounter (around a month) with this person somehow allowed me to focus my empathy so as to make it usefull to me.


If you cant really understand what i have just said try not to worry as i still seem to have a major failing of being unable to type in a manner that would allow most to understand me, rarely is that the cause of bad typeing skills, but im sure it plays a part.

Every disadvantage if overcome becomes an advantage.

In all truth, what reversed my empathy and compassion was the death of my greatgrandmother, and my grandfather's contracting terminal cancer, and my contemplation of them, however, I suppose it does validate the suggestion that such transformations come from within.

Oddly, I'm in a similar situation (both grandparents afflicted with terminal cancers, another relative died fairly recently) and I feel nothing, as far as I can tell. I sometimes tell myself I should be feeling sorry for them or something, but in reality, their deaths wouldn't really affect my own life that much, so I don't feel very much.

I actually can relate to this, Czardas. I really have trouble feeling empathy or compassion. Well, I'm not sure trouble is the right word, because I enjoy being this way. I don't really know why, maybe I'm the sociopath, but there's just something enjoyable about not giving a fuck about others.
That is also true. However, I'm starting to realise that however enjoyable it might be, it's impairing my ability to think rationally and to reason, which is my ultimate aim (as anyone who knows me here or in RL can attest to).

I know the feeling of not feeling. And while you're right that ultimately you are the only person who can resolve your own emotional problems, there is a lot to be said for professional guidance on that little hike. All two of the professionals you've seen have appeared biased, and certainly psychiatrists do tend to follow one school of treatment or another, but I wouldn't give up on the profession. You may say, "Well, I'll deal with my problems myself," but it's very easy to fall into a place where you think about dealing with them but that's all you do. A regularly scheduled session with a person you trust (and that may be where you had the problem with those first two) will move you past that point of inertia.

I'm not saying this is easy, it isn't. The human mind and human emotions are marvelously complex, and notoriously difficult to understand and deal with. I do wish you luck and success on your journey, though.

IAll two of the professionals you've seen have appeared biased,
Actually, it's more like 10, most of whom fell into one school or another of the ones described.

and certainly psychiatrists do tend to follow one school of treatment or another, but I wouldn't give up on the profession. You may say, "Well, I'll deal with my problems myself," but it's very easy to fall into a place where you think about dealing with them but that's all you do.
Quite true.

A regularly scheduled session with a person you trust (and that may be where you had the problem with those first two)
Indeed, there I run into problems. Due to my lack of compassion most likely, I trust nobody -- not even my own parents. I'm almost paranoid in many senses; I even connect to the internet (where I'm supposedly anonymous) via a proxy server belonging to one of the larger universities in the country to avoid people trying to track me down over the internet, even though I'm sure no-one would be interested.

I'm not saying this is easy, it isn't. The human mind and human emotions are marvelously complex, and notoriously difficult to understand and deal with. I do wish you luck and success on your journey, though.
Thank you. I expect it to be taking a while, as I'm only just emerging from the darkness of adolescence anyway (thus am necessarily immature and confused) and some people don't find out how to deal with their mind until on their deathbeds, if at all.

I can't either. I'm just not sure where it is. I'm most frequently told that I'm consciously trying to deny empathy, which is a rather annoying attitude because I'm not -- it doesn't seem to be there in the first place. Psychiatrists are all biased (an anti-meds one attributed it to my former medication; a pro-meds one attributed it to my getting off the former medication; etc.) due to training and background, and anyway I've long since (ok, 3 weeks ago) realised that I'm the only person who can help myself get over my own emotional problems, and the world has more important things to deal with.

There are good psychiatrists. Many bad ones, but also many really good ones. The problem is that he or she needs to be 'compatible' so to say. therefore it's for everyone different who can help.

Upon sitting back and examining my life as objectively as I could, I determined that I am completely devoid of compassion, empathy, or any of the number of other things people claim make us "human" -- if such feelings are produced within my brain, they never reach the realm of conscious thought for processing and thus I do not ever experience them or make any decisions or choices based on them. In effect, it's the same thing.

I am a bit worried about this, partly because so much of "humanity" and good portions of rational thought are all based around this emotion, and without its presence I may resort to irrational or damaging behaviour (obviously not my intent).
OK, I have yet to see how this could be an issue.
Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>
We now have a major situation on our hands!
I'm interested to know, is this lack a good or a bad thing? If the latter, how can I change it, if at all? How should I live my life without experiencing any type of conscious emotional connection? I suspect it was this lack of emotional connection that caused my depression, as what we know as "empathy" is actually designed as a self-esteem boost so we will do more of it, and without it I had little to stimulate my self-esteem. (Unconscious connections may be formed, but don't seem to be registered in the realm of clear thought until they're broken.)

Oh, and if I ever state that I consider empathy and compassion signs of weakness, ignore it -- it's probably just my brain rationalising and trying to increase my sense of self-worth through other ways. FYI.
Well, you could try faking it. If it is good enough for sex, why can't it be good enough for compassion?

Indeed, there I run into problems. Due to my lack of compassion most likely, I trust nobody -- not even my own parents. I'm almost paranoid in many senses; I even connect to the internet (where I'm supposedly anonymous) via a proxy server belonging to one of the larger universities in the country to avoid people trying to track me down over the internet, even though I'm sure no-one would be interested.
http://tor.eff.org/

Does kinda the same thing, just takes a random path through more computers.

Repress all feelings Czardas don't let them get the better of you.

Upon sitting back and examining my life as objectively as I could, I determined that I am completely devoid of compassion, empathy, or any of the number of other things people claim make us "human" -- if such feelings are produced within my brain, they never reach the realm of conscious thought for processing and thus I do not ever experience them or make any decisions or choices based on them. In effect, it's the same thing.

I am a bit worried about this, partly because so much of "humanity" and good portions of rational thought are all based around this emotion, and without its presence I may resort to irrational or damaging behaviour (obviously not my intent). Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>

I'm interested to know, is this lack a good or a bad thing? If the latter, how can I change it, if at all? How should I live my life without experiencing any type of conscious emotional connection? I suspect it was this lack of emotional connection that caused my depression, as what we know as "empathy" is actually designed as a self-esteem boost so we will do more of it, and without it I had little to stimulate my self-esteem. (Unconscious connections may be formed, but don't seem to be registered in the realm of clear thought until they're broken.)

Oh, and if I ever state that I consider empathy and compassion signs of weakness, ignore it -- it's probably just my brain rationalising and trying to increase my sense of self-worth through other ways. FYI.

It depends what you mean...

If you mean, can a person be successful with no empathy/sympathy... to be henoest, that seems to be the ideal model for success.

If you mean, can you be a fully rounded person, and experience the spectrum of human existence, then probably no, if you really lack any empathy.

On the other hand - it is far more likely that you have hidden, supressed, or pretended not to feel anything to such an extent, that you now do it automatically... either that, or you are buying into your own hype too much.

See a phychartrist before you end up a big politician or a corporate CEO.

I was on that same train of thought. ;)

Upon sitting back and examining my life as objectively as I could, I determined that I am completely devoid of compassion, empathy, or any of the number of other things people claim make us "human" -- if such feelings are produced within my brain, they never reach the realm of conscious thought for processing and thus I do not ever experience them or make any decisions or choices based on them. In effect, it's the same thing.

I am a bit worried about this, partly because so much of "humanity" and good portions of rational thought are all based around this emotion, and without its presence I may resort to irrational or damaging behaviour (obviously not my intent). Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>

I'm interested to know, is this lack a good or a bad thing? If the latter, how can I change it, if at all? How should I live my life without experiencing any type of conscious emotional connection? I suspect it was this lack of emotional connection that caused my depression, as what we know as "empathy" is actually designed as a self-esteem boost so we will do more of it, and without it I had little to stimulate my self-esteem. (Unconscious connections may be formed, but don't seem to be registered in the realm of clear thought until they're broken.)

Oh, and if I ever state that I consider empathy and compassion signs of weakness, ignore it -- it's probably just my brain rationalising and trying to increase my sense of self-worth through other ways. FYI.

My wife can be like this, she 'don't do people' and personaly I find it a bit worrying at times.

Also I have afreiand who thought that for some reason I would like to see that video clip of some American politician blowing his head off in public a few years ago. He really could not understand that I actualy felt a bit sick to witness the actual real death of another human being, and it was not something that I really wanted to see.

We call people that have no sense of empathy with other members of our speciaes socialpaths.

Now I'm a great beliver in asking the question, just what are the normal working parametes of the human brain? Or expressed another way, how do we know that feelings like a lack of empathey(socialpathic tendancies) are not within the normal working parameters of the human brain. Or Is mental illness really mental illness, and not just the brain working normaly, though a little differantly?

Upon sitting back and examining my life as objectively as I could, I determined that I am completely devoid of compassion, empathy, or any of the number of other things people claim make us "human" -- if such feelings are produced within my brain, they never reach the realm of conscious thought for processing and thus I do not ever experience them or make any decisions or choices based on them. In effect, it's the same thing.

I am a bit worried about this, partly because so much of "humanity" and good portions of rational thought are all based around this emotion, and without its presence I may resort to irrational or damaging behaviour (obviously not my intent). Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>

I'm interested to know, is this lack a good or a bad thing? If the latter, how can I change it, if at all? How should I live my life without experiencing any type of conscious emotional connection? I suspect it was this lack of emotional connection that caused my depression, as what we know as "empathy" is actually designed as a self-esteem boost so we will do more of it, and without it I had little to stimulate my self-esteem. (Unconscious connections may be formed, but don't seem to be registered in the realm of clear thought until they're broken.)

Oh, and if I ever state that I consider empathy and compassion signs of weakness, ignore it -- it's probably just my brain rationalising and trying to increase my sense of self-worth through other ways. FYI.

well i would certainly say empathy is a key factor in being able not only to 'connect' with other people at a deeper level than is purely rational/concious, but also in simply interacting with others. tell me, are you any good at reading others' body language and/or facial expressions? to me, those two are closely linked with empathy.


anyway, you CAN become more empathetic simply by, in a given situation, stopping for a second before responding or acting yourself, and considering the other person(s) point of view. 'putting yourself in their shoes'. it may be a forced empathetic consideration for others' feelings and emotional state/reaction, but if you do this over time the empathy will probably become more natural and also wider (ie feeling empathy for things on TV, etc)

If you mean, can a person be successful with no empathy/sympathy... to be henoest, that seems to be the ideal model for success.

lol too true ;)

well i would certainly say empathy is a key factor in being able not only to 'connect' with other people at a deeper level than is purely rational/concious, but also in simply interacting with others. tell me, are you any good at reading others' body language and/or facial expressions? to me, those two are closely linked with empathy.


anyway, you CAN become more empathetic simply by, in a given situation, stopping for a second before responding or acting yourself, and considering the other person(s) point of view. 'putting yourself in their shoes'. it may be a forced empathetic consideration for others' feelings and emotional state/reaction, but if you do this over time the empathy will probably become more natural and also wider (ie feeling empathy for things on TV, etc)


And that is very good advice. I know for certian that if you want to effect a change in your personality, the best way to do it, is just start doing it, just start to act in the way that is applicble to the change you want to make.

At first it is a conciouse effet but after a while you'll find that you have ceased trying to change, becuase you have done so.

If you mean, can a person be successful with no empathy/sympathy... to be henoest, that seems to be the ideal model for success.
That's what I thought, too. That's why I'm not sure trying to achieve it would be helpful at all to my life, and it could impede a potential financial or personal success. At the same time, scientific evidence shows that empathy plays a major role in rational and objective thought, which is the only thing I consider "true" success....

On the other hand - it is far more likely that you have hidden, supressed, or pretended not to feel anything to such an extent, that you now do it automatically... either that, or you are buying into your own hype too much.
That's also likely. I asked my parents and apparently something changed around the time I turned 12 or 13; before that I was pretty normal. I'm not sure exactly what it was, however.
We call people that have no sense of empathy with other members of our speciaes socialpaths.

Now I'm a great beliver in asking the question, just what are the normal working parametes of the human brain? Or expressed another way, how do we know that feelings like a lack of empathey(socialpathic tendancies) are not within the normal working parameters of the human brain. Or Is mental illness really mental illness, and not just the brain working normaly, though a little differantly?
Well, "mental illness" is a slightly controversial term. Generally scientists use it to refer to any chemical imbalance in the brain that interferes with normal functioning; however, certain "emotional states" (for instance love, or a highly irritable personality, etc.) meet this condition just as well but are not considered illnesses. At least it's an improvement on the days when mental illnesses were all thought to be psychosomatic (which was only about 20-30 years ago).

well i would certainly say empathy is a key factor in being able not only to 'connect' with other people at a deeper level than is purely rational/concious, but also in simply interacting with others. tell me, are you any good at reading others' body language and/or facial expressions? to me, those two are closely linked with empathy.
I can't read others at all until long after the fact, for some reason (for instance, I only realised what a certain person had been trying to tell me after I'd moved to another city and ceased to interact at all with that person).


anyway, you CAN become more empathetic simply by, in a given situation, stopping for a second before responding or acting yourself, and considering the other person(s) point of view. 'putting yourself in their shoes'. it may be a forced empathetic consideration for others' feelings and emotional state/reaction, but if you do this over time the empathy will probably become more natural and also wider (ie feeling empathy for things on TV, etc)
I've tried that and it's sort of difficult, except in a very few instances (namely those in which I've been in a slightly similar situation myself). Well, I suppose it's a start.

Welcome to the spectrum, Czardas. You have a touch of the Hyper-maleism*, it comes to all men. Promise.

Also, why do you care about the sexing? I still maintain you're asexual.

*Autism ftw. As my mum claims, every man is on the Autism spectrum. Go team empathy!

Welcome to the spectrum, Czardas. You have a touch of the Hyper-maleism*, it comes to all men. Promise.
... whatever.


Also, why do you care about the sexing? I still maintain you're asexual.

that was a joke, actually. <.<

... whatever.
No, really. Blokes are notorious for being shit at empathy.that was a joke, actually. <.<
Fine, synchronous hermaphrodite. Whatever.

¬_¬

Fine, synchronous hermaphrodite. Whatever.

¬_¬

I'm not asexual, I've just never been attracted to anyone, sometimes don't think about sex for almost four hours on end, and am incapable of forming emotional attachments with sentience! <.< >.>

I'm not asexual, I've just never been attracted to anyone, sometimes don't think about sex for almost four hours on end, and am incapable of forming emotional attachments with sentience! <.< >.>
Really? Ever? Not even a little bit?Not even like "Phwoar!" at a complete stranger? :eek:

Really? Ever? Not even a little bit?Not even like "Phwoar!" at a complete stranger? :eek:

Well, I'll concede... not consciously.

I'm just not interested, I guess.

That isn't the topic, anyway.

Have you ever tried pretending to have an empathetic link with someone?


...sometimes don't think about sex for almost four hours on end...

*gasp* Inconcievable!

Have you ever tried pretending to have an empathetic link with someone?

It's not as easy as it might sound to you people. I can't even pretend because I really have no idea what they're thinking or feeling so pretending will get me really weird looks.

don't worry about it, you're probably just asperger's

you can still make it in life as long as you have money

you can still make it in life as long as you have money
there we run into small... uh.... difficulties.

/me needs to make money first. And to be successful at a job interview coming across as a cold, heartless psychopath isn't going to help.

And to be successful at a job interview coming across as a cold, heartless psychopath isn't going to help.
Build a time machine and go back to the 1980s stock market. They'll love you.

Also, second person to mention an autism spectrum disorder. The evidence mounts...

Build a time machine and go back to the 1980s stock market. They'll love you.

oh come on, plenty of companies would love to hire a uncaring, un-empathetic person to do their work. like the boss of Barclays bank here in the UK who fired about 450 employees in an afternoon via email.

i mean, i'd find it hard to fire one person, yet alone 450. the decision would scare me, and i'd be worried about the effect it may have on their lives, even though i (i assume) wouldn't know any of them. and then doing it by email seems even more heartless and unpleasant to them, but easier for me... which is why i'd really dislike myself for doing it.
in short: i couldn't do that.

an un-empathetic person should have no problems. czardas, you probably have a great edge in business ;)

an un-empathetic person should have no problems. czardas, you probably have a great edge in business ;)

Yay!

Maybe I can write a script to fire people. Of course, it may occasionally malfunction so people will get emails reading "Dear Mr. #PARSE ERROR: Missing variable $sacked_person on line 1#" ... but that just adds to the fun.

Yay!

Maybe I can write a script to fire people. Of course, it may occasionally malfunction so people will get emails reading "Dear Mr. #PARSE ERROR: Missing variable $sacked_person on line 1#" ... but that just adds to the fun.

you could add in a random record selector to fire a random person every other day... just for fun! mwuhahaha! :p

you could add in a random record selector to fire a random person every other day... just for fun! mwuhahaha! :p

True. Of course, the records probably contain the CEO and Board of Directors, and they might be a bit pissed at me if I fire them. But screw them. :D

Ooh! Or I'll create a script that translates all of their emails into Arabic, then French, then Italian, then Dutch, then German, then English, then Portuguese, then Russian, then English again via babelfish. Eventually they'll get fired for producing gibberish, rather than randomly. So therefore if they sue the employer will have records of the emails to explain why the person was fired. XD

Upon sitting back and examining my life as objectively as I could, I determined that I am completely devoid of compassion, empathy, or any of the number of other things people claim make us "human" -- if such feelings are produced within my brain, they never reach the realm of conscious thought for processing and thus I do not ever experience them or make any decisions or choices based on them. In effect, it's the same thing.

I am a bit worried about this, partly because so much of "humanity" and good portions of rational thought are all based around this emotion, and without its presence I may resort to irrational or damaging behaviour (obviously not my intent). Plus, I won't get as much sex. <.< >.>

I'm interested to know, is this lack a good or a bad thing? If the latter, how can I change it, if at all? How should I live my life without experiencing any type of conscious emotional connection? I suspect it was this lack of emotional connection that caused my depression, as what we know as "empathy" is actually designed as a self-esteem boost so we will do more of it, and without it I had little to stimulate my self-esteem. (Unconscious connections may be formed, but don't seem to be registered in the realm of clear thought until they're broken.)

Oh, and if I ever state that I consider empathy and compassion signs of weakness, ignore it -- it's probably just my brain rationalising and trying to increase my sense of self-worth through other ways. FYI.

One of the marks of a sociopathic personality is lack of empathy. If you do indeed lack empathy, then I am afraid of you.

Yay!

Maybe I can write a script to fire people. Of course, it may occasionally malfunction so people will get emails reading "Dear Mr. #PARSE ERROR: Missing variable $sacked_person on line 1#" ... but that just adds to the fun.

And instead of writing personalized reasons, you could use a random number to find a reason from a database of generic reasons!

Dear Metal, Pure,

You have been fired. The reason: you were hardly working more than you were working hard. Goodbye and have a nice life.

PS - A tow truck is on his way to get your car, you might want to get there before he does.

I couldn't care less about your inability to empathise























:p

there we run into small... uh.... difficulties.

/me needs to make money first. And to be successful at a job interview coming across as a cold, heartless psychopath isn't going to help.

You'll be fine in advertising. Or health insurance.

Dear Czardas,
While it is possible you are a serial killer in the making, my professional opinion is that you're just extremely self-protective. Professional as in being paid for being a basket-case.
Empathizing with others allows you to connect with others. Connecting with others leaves you vunerable. Connecting with others is one of the riskiest things we do in our lives. While I don't believe you're shutting yourself down consciously, you can conciously change things. Unfortunately this takes a lot of work.
Example: I'm not really fond of kids. When something would come on TV about someone losing a child it'd really upset my Mom, but left me cold. I am totally nuts about cats, so once I imagined a dead kitten. The emotion connected. I may not totally understand how losing a child feels, but I'm quite cognizant it's very unpleasant.
I don't know you well enough to be able to figure out what might be able to make you connect. Even if it's not a person, there must be something in life you value, even if it's just an item of some sort. Anything is a start.
Anyway, while feeling connected to others can be scary, it brings many rewards. The feelings are indescribable. You can't have a full life without it, only a shadow of one. Don't let yourself miss out.

You'll be fine in advertising. Or health insurance.

But not in finance. We're all cowardly sybarites who spend our time sucking up to the CEO.

Dear Czardas,
While it is possible you are a serial killer in the making, my professional opinion is that you're just extremely self-protective. Professional as in being paid for being a basket-case.
That's what I thought too.
Empathizing with others allows you to connect with others. Connecting with others leaves you vunerable. Connecting with others is one of the riskiest things we do in our lives.
I know. I've observed the results.
While I don't believe you're shutting yourself down consciously, you can conciously change things. Unfortunately this takes a lot of work.
[snip example]
I don't know you well enough to be able to figure out what might be able to make you connect. Even if it's not a person, there must be something in life you value, even if it's just an item of some sort. Anything is a start.
I like creating things, especially things that are as close to perfection as possible. I don't know if that counts.

Anyway, while feeling connected to others can be scary, it brings many rewards. The feelings are indescribable. You can't have a full life without it, only a shadow of one. Don't let yourself miss out.
Oddly enough, one could say exactly the same thing about drug addiction, which frequently ends up creating the same effect. I'm not entirely sure if I want to lead a life in which I'm constantly hurt by attempting compassion. That's part of the reason I haven't managed to get out of shutdown for so long.

Anyway, while feeling connected to others can be scary, it brings many rewards. The feelings are indescribable. You can't have a full life without it, only a shadow of one. Don't let yourself miss out.

qft.

Oddly enough, one could say exactly the same thing about drug addiction, which frequently ends up creating the same effect. I'm not entirely sure if I want to lead a life in which I'm constantly hurt by attempting compassion. That's part of the reason I haven't managed to get out of shutdown for so long.

Actually, the end product of drug addiction is often a sense of meaninglessness and emotional death; it can take years of therapy for a serious drug addict to recover from that damage.

So, needless to say, empathy and drug addiction aren't the same thing.

Actually, the end product of drug addiction is often a sense of meaninglessness and emotional death; it can take years of therapy for a serious drug addict to recover from that damage.

However, feelings of empathy can cause depression, which is the same thing (meaninglessness, emotional death). Just without the brain damage and stuff.

I like creating things, especially things that are as close to perfection as possible. I don't know if that counts.


Oddly enough, one could say exactly the same thing about drug addiction, which frequently ends up creating the same effect. I'm not entirely sure if I want to lead a life in which I'm constantly hurt by attempting compassion. That's part of the reason I haven't managed to get out of shutdown for so long.
Anything you care about is a start.
As far as avoiding the pain, use your imagination for something other than imagining the short term pain. Try imagining how satisfied with life you'll be in forty or so years with no connection to anyone. Do you really want to be that alone? While a lot of us who frequent this forum don't exactly have a jumping social life, being totally alone for the rest of your days is a different thing entirely. I don't think even our favorite misanthrope wants to be an old man sitting alone in the dark with nobody but your bill collectors noticing when you die.