NationStates Jolt Archive

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

On NSG, that's a VERY dangerous question to ask....

http://209.85.48.8/9854/48/emo/roflma.gif

That is all.

tadaa http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_web.shtml

On NSG, that's a VERY dangerous question to ask....

I know, dear. I know.

You're preaching to the choir. Or... you know, something. This is, thankfully, not something I heard firsthand, or I may have had to choke them right then and there.

Okay, it happened a while ago, but hey, it's emblazoned in my memory.

A: "Gonna go see the Passion of the Christ?"

B: "I don't need to see the Passion of the Christ. I've read the book."

A: "There's a book?"

Okay, it happened a while ago, but hey, it's emblazoned in my memory.

*snip*

Do you need a hug? I'm so sorry. :(

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."http://www.partiallyclips.com/storage/truckatsunset_lg.png
http://www.partiallyclips.com
*nod*

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

heard dummer ones... like my friend who encountered a nut trying to get a pettion signed to change the name of the movie "The Two Towers" because it's offensive to the families of the victims of 9/11.

heard dummer ones... like my friend who encountered a nut trying to get a pettion signed to change the name of the movie "The Two Towers" because it's offensive to the families of the victims of 9/11.
*jaw drops*

That... That... Wow.

heard dummer ones... like my friend who encountered a nut trying to get a pettion signed to change the name of the movie "The Two Towers" because it's offensive to the families of the victims of 9/11.

I just vomited in my mouth. I hate people sometimes.

Or them having to change the title of the film The Madness of King George III because people wouldn't go and see it cos they thought they had missed George I and George II

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

It is amazing how many people believe that any fantasy book that mentions a university for wizards must be a Harry Potter ripoff.

Even if those books were written decades ago.

rude lady: why aren't you at school today?

my kid: I homeschool

rude lady: then why aren't you at home?

did I mention that we were at the library at the time? :headbang:

heard dummer ones... like my friend who encountered a nut trying to get a pettion signed to change the name of the movie "The Two Towers" because it's offensive to the families of the victims of 9/11.

Or the folks who wanted to change the design of the memorial to Flight 93 because it's a crescent, and having it be a crescent would be an endorsement of the Islamic fundamentalism that directly caused the crash of the plane on September 11th and all the loss of life that day.

rude lady: why aren't you at school today?

my kid: I homeschool

rude lady: then why aren't you at home?

did I mention that we were at the library at the time? :headbang:
Some people... wow, just wow. It's amazing how they get by in life, or the fact that they can at all.

Some people... wow, just wow. It's amazing how they get by in life, or the fact that they can at all.

the whole time they are talking (about 10 minutes while we are in the check-out line) I am wondering how this woman found her way to the library......

another snippet

rude lady: "so does it bother you having to be around your mom all the time?"

my kid: "not really, she is pretty smart so it's fun"

rude lady: "my kids never said that about me"

I wonder why :confused: :p

the whole time they are talking (about 10 minutes while we are in the check-out line) I am wondering how this woman found her way to the library......

another snippet

rude lady: "so does it bother you having to be around your mom all the time?"

my kid: "not really, she is pretty smart so it's fun"

rude lady: "my kids never said that about me"

I wonder why :confused: :pLOL!

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

There is not a smilie or emote out there that can properly tell you how hard I am laughing right now...now than, I want you to grab one of the LOTR books and beat whoever said that's face in with it untill they get the picture. And if they dont just say you thought he/she was a terrorist (Bush will pardon you for any crimes, thats saying if you a U.S. citizen)

As for stupid crap, oh I got the icing on the cake. I heard some retard [No political correctness after you read what they said] say the following and I quote.

"So the vietnam war huh, well I know that it was started because of the bombing on pearl harbor."

Have fun with that. Also the same person claimed that there were helicopters in WWII as well as no bazoka's.

There is not a smilie or emote out there that can properly tell you how hard I am laughing right now...now than, I want you to grab one of the LOTR books and beat whoever said that's face in with it untill they get the picture. And if they dont just say you thought he/she was a terrorist (Bush will pardon you for any crimes, thats saying if you a U.S. citizen)

As for stupid crap, oh I got the icing on the cake. I heard some retard [No political correctness after you read what they said] say the following and I quote.

"So the vietnam war huh, well I know that it was started because of the bombing on pearl harbor."

Have fun with that. Also the same person claimed that there were helicopters in WWII as well as no bazoka's.

Hmm ... the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and occupied French Indo-China, so then there was this big war, see, and the Japanese lost, but in the meantime Ho Chi Mihn and the Viet Mihn (not a 1950's doo-wop group) started a war against the returning French ... you could get there but you'd have to be really, really stoned or something. :p

the whole time they are talking (about 10 minutes while we are in the check-out line) I am wondering how this woman found her way to the library......

another snippet

rude lady: "so does it bother you having to be around your mom all the time?"

my kid: "not really, she is pretty smart so it's fun"

rude lady: "my kids never said that about me"

I wonder why :confused: :p

Heh! Your kid owns dumb people. Hard. :p

*Was homeshooled*

I can empathize with you on this; some people can't wrap their mind around it.

Hmm ... the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and occupied French Indo-China, so then there was this big war, see, and the Japanese lost, but in the meantime Ho Chi Mihn and the Viet Mihn (not a 1950's doo-wop group) started a war against the returning French ... you could get there but you'd have to be really, really stoned or something. :p

Or maybe you could simply say, hey they are all asians so technically in a sence it was the vietnamese that bombed us, they do all look alike. That is, bringing back your point, if you were really stoned or something...

Hmm ... the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and occupied French Indo-China, so then there was this big war, see, and the Japanese lost, but in the meantime Ho Chi Mihn and the Viet Mihn (not a 1950's doo-wop group) started a war against the returning French ... you could get there but you'd have to be really, really stoned or something. :p

Peral Harbour also caused the Americans to ebcome insecure about the pacific causing them to attempt to expand there influence other there... see how they wehre vanurable to attack from that direction-they had no buffer. soooo....

Peral Harbour also caused the Americans to ebcome insecure about the pacific causing them to attempt to expand there influence other there... see how they wehre vanurable to attack from that direction-they had no buffer. soooo....

I hadn't thought of that. Yes, suppose the North Vietnamese had gotten their hands on a couple of surplus Japanese aircraft carriers ... small, really fuel-efficient ones ...

Have fun with that. Also the same person claimed that there were helicopters in WWII.

http://www.military.cz/usa/air/war/helo/r4/r4_en.htm
;)

http://www.military.cz/usa/air/war/helo/r4/r4_en.htm
;)

Oh, you're no fun! :p

http://www.military.cz/usa/air/war/helo/r4/r4_en.htm
;)

I didn;t think I would have to actually give you the full quote of what he said but here ya go.

First off he was explaining some heroic act his grandfather did to save the regiment he was in [all of it bull crap and I dont want to get into why it is, its just that the regiment didn't exsist].

"Ok well, my grandpa and his men were being attacked by a bunch of enemy tanks so because there wernt bazooka's and stuff he had to like get up close to the tanks and put sticky bombs onto them. He made the bombs himself the night before. After a few tanks were gone he had found an old german radio and called in for like helicopter help to come in and attack them, an hour later they were all safe."

It goes on alot like that.

"Ok well, my grandpa and his men were being attacked by a bunch of enemy tanks so because there wernt bazooka's and stuff he had to like get up close to the tanks and put sticky bombs onto them. He made the bombs himself the night before. After a few tanks were gone he had found an old german radio and called in for like helicopter help to come in and attack them, an hour later they were all safe."

That's nothing. In WW2 my grandfather shot down The Red Baron himself with two M-16s; one in each hand.

I didn;t think I would have to actually give you the full quote of what he said but here ya go.

First off he was explaining some heroic act his grandfather did to save the regiment he was in [all of it bull crap and I dont want to get into why it is, its just that the regiment didn't exsist].

"Ok well, my grandpa and his men were being attacked by a bunch of enemy tanks so because there wernt bazooka's and stuff he had to like get up close to the tanks and put sticky bombs onto them. He made the bombs himself the night before. After a few tanks were gone he had found an old german radio and called in for like helicopter help to come in and attack them, an hour later they were all safe."

It goes on alot like that.

Sticky bombs! :eek:

I'm sure you had to be there, but I can imagine the old Grandpa telling the wide-eyed kid this story, especially after the old man had had a beer or two.

Heh! Your kid owns dumb people. Hard. :p

*Was homeshooled*

I can empathize with you on this; some people can't wrap their mind around it.Obviously you weren't homeschooled well enough. >_> ;)

That's nothing. In WW2 my grandfather shot down The Red Baron himself with two M-16s; one in each hand.

My grandfather shot down is own flight instructor during training. He was ordered to fire but not to stop. :D

Heh! Your kid owns dumb people. Hard. :p

*Was homeshooled*

I can empathize with you on this; some people can't wrap their mind around it.

Obviously you weren't homeschooled well enough. >_> ;)

Maybe RadCent is Jewish ... home-shuled?

he sent his wife out to be sodomized instead of the old man in the house

Sticky bombs! :eek:

I'm sure you had to be there, but I can imagine the old Grandpa telling the wide-eyed kid this story, especially after the old man had had a beer or two.

I think that's every grandpa that ever existed...

Dumbest thing: I was maybe 12 years old and at a hockey game (Thunderbirds/Winterhawks) with my dad. We were sitting next to the two ditziest females ever.

A player drops his stick: "Ooooh look! He lost his little flipper thingy!"
The Zamboni comes out: "Hey! It's the xylophone!!"
:rolleyes:

Or them having to change the title of the film The Madness of King George III because people wouldn't go and see it cos they thought they had missed George I and George II

Even dumber is the fact that people believe this story. The film was always called The Madness of King George. The play on which it was based was called The Madness of George III.

now than, I want you to grab one of the LOTR books and beat whoever said that's face in with it untill they get the picture.

The novelization got pictures?


:D

Maybe RadCent is Jewish ... home-shuled?

That actually sounded more Italian then Jewish. :D

An Italian Jew maybe?

They probably make really bad pizza...

ANYWAY, nope, not to the best of my knowledge, I'm not.

That actually sounded more Italian then Jewish. :D

An Italian Jew maybe?

They probably make really bad pizza...

ANYWAY, nope, not to the best of my knowledge, I'm not.

There are some kosher pizza places in NYC that are pretty good, but they aren't Italians ...

Sticky bombs! :eek:

Am I missing something comedic about sticky bombs?

The novelization got pictures?


:D

The author did draw pictures of that middle place, earth?

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

What I hate is when persons say that they hate the LotR because it's so full of old cliches.

Tolkien was the originator of the damned cliches, you fools!

Thank you, that's out of my system now.

I didn;t think I would have to actually give you the full quote of what he said but here ya go.

First off he was explaining some heroic act his grandfather did to save the regiment he was in [all of it bull crap and I dont want to get into why it is, its just that the regiment didn't exsist].

"Ok well, my grandpa and his men were being attacked by a bunch of enemy tanks so because there wernt bazooka's and stuff he had to like get up close to the tanks and put sticky bombs onto them. He made the bombs himself the night before. After a few tanks were gone he had found an old german radio and called in for like helicopter help to come in and attack them, an hour later they were all safe."

It goes on alot like that.wasn't that in "Saving Private Ryan"

except for the radio part... and the heli air support... and the multiple tanks... :p

:confused:

The novelization got pictures?


Yes. They also added a few silly characters, like a singing hippy living in the woods, and made some mistakes. Some actions were even done by completely different persons.

That Tolkien fella really should have paid more attention to the movies ;)

Am I missing something comedic about sticky bombs?

Ha ha, you didn't get it!

No, "sticky bombs" just sounded funny.

What I hate is when persons say that they hate the LotR because it's so full of old cliches.


Wasn't that a (probably fictional) criticism of Shakespeare, too?
To be honest, I can't think of too many clichés in LotR, but it's been a while since I read it.

If you really want to read about stupid, check it out. The first time I laughed so hard, 'till I realized they were true.

www.darwinawards.com

Vic

Wasn't that a (probably fictional) criticism of Shakespeare, too?
To be honest, I can't think of too many clichés in LotR, but it's been a while since I read it.

The supreme dark lord, the use of magic rings, talking swords, dragons, very wise superior races, Men having to take charge, purely evil races, wizards, dwarves, elves, etc.

All things which are now "staples" of the genre because persons are to unimaginative to do anything but copy Tolkien (and that's because he was the greatest!).

EDIT: Plus, the points Tolkien was making were coming from a Christian, Roman Catholic, morally conservative point of view (along with some other stuff like environmentalism) and his style which so many try to imitate just doesn't mesh with the point they are trying to make, so the cliches become even more so.

Or them having to change the title of the film The Madness of King George III because people wouldn't go and see it cos they thought they had missed George I and George II

Or having the movie banned because it sounds like libuhrul al-qaeda humping islamofascist gay wedding propaganda.

:D

Am I missing something comedic about sticky bombs?

only in this situation (and it happened in a real game session.)
RPG Game: Twilight 2000
Player 1: I toss a grenade at the approaching troops
GM: Roll to see if the Grenade lands where you want it to.
Player 1: (rolls dice) oops, I fumbled.
GM: Roll to see where it lands.
Player 1: (rolls dice) err... I dropped it
GM: Roll your luck to see where the grenade drops.
Player 1: (Rolls dice again) I fumbled again.
GM: well, it lands in your satchel of grenades... you gotta find it before it blows... I'll give you one search roll.
Player 1: (Rolls dice) I fumbled AGAIN!
GM: Ok, I'll rule that you have one chance to remove the bag and toss it away...
Player 1: (Rolls Dice) ... Dammit!
GM: err... Roll luck, maybe the Grenade is a dud...
Player 1: (Rolls dice) ... SH*T!
GM: Sorry... I tried... turn in your character sheet and roll up a new one.

The supreme dark lord, the use of magic rings, talking swords, dragons, very wise superior races, Men having to take charge, purely evil races, wizards, dwarves, elves, etc.


He didn't really make any of them up, though. Have you heard of Der Ring des Nibelungen, for example? That was an earlier example of such topics, and, like Tolkein, it was mostly inspired by Norse mythology. Tolkein just made them more popular.

I think the really, really dumbest thing ever (and I did work for an IT helpdesk for a while there!) was an American soldier back home in Germany once telling me in all seriousness that the Germans after all only built Neuschwanstein because they wanted to imitate Disneyland....

only in this situation (and it happened in a real game session.)
RPG Game: Twilight 2000
Player 1: I toss a grenade at the approaching troops
GM: Roll to see if the Grenade lands where you want it to.
Player 1: (rolls dice) oops, I fumbled.
GM: Roll to see where it lands.
Player 1: (rolls dice) err... I dropped it
GM: Roll your luck to see where the grenade drops.
Player 1: (Rolls dice again) I fumbled again.
GM: well, it lands in your satchel of grenades... you gotta find it before it blows... I'll give you one search roll.
Player 1: (Rolls dice) I fumbled AGAIN!
GM: Ok, I'll rule that you have one chance to remove the bag and toss it away...
Player 1: (Rolls Dice) ... Dammit!
GM: err... Roll luck, maybe the Grenade is a dud...
Player 1: (Rolls dice) ... SH*T!
GM: Sorry... I tried... turn in your character sheet and roll up a new one.

Roleplaying stories are the best!

We were playing the Wheel of Time d20 system, and I was a caster.

GM: Over the hill you see 10,000 trollocs approaching you. (his intent was for us to go in the other direction)
All players: WE ATTACK!
GM: What?
Me: I beef up my fireball to level 12 (game mechanics reign this spell in at about level 9 I want to say, because the blast area is a circle the size and power is an exponential function)
Friend (doing the calculations): He just killed 5,000 trollocs.
GM: Fuck. They retreat.

He didn't really make any of them up, though. Have you heard of Der Ring des Nibelungen, for example? That was an earlier example of such topics, and, like Tolkein, it was mostly inspired by Norse mythology. Tolkein just made them more popular.

Poor choice of wording on my part. He brought them from the academic circles to the common reader. And I would still call him the originator, maybe not of the idea (a dark overlord) but of the use of that in fantasy literature.

Before Tolkien mythology was studied, not enjoyed. Unfortunately, his idea of high mythology has become cheap fantasy in practice.

Dumbest thing I ever heard:

Radio One used to do a phone-in quiz called 'Dead or Alive'. The presenter would name famous people and the contestant would say whether they were dead or alive. Then, for the last and most important question, they would be asked to choose one of three categories which the last person would belong to. So, if it was 'folk singers, writers or politicians?' you might say 'folk singers', they might say 'Bob Dylan', and you would say 'alive' and win.

The incident is burnt into my brain forever.
I was working in a small workshop at the time, and that afternoon was in the print room with only the radio for company.
This woman got to the last question and was asked 'Austrian composers, jazz musicians, or Roman emperors?'
She said: 'Jazz musicians.'
The presenter, baffled, said: 'Err... no... or Roman emperors.'
She said: 'But I don't know anything about Roman emperors.'
At this point I threw a chisel at the radio and screamed: 'Get off my radio, you stupid woman!'. I'd thrown a hammer and several more objects before anyone could turn up and stop me.

Scary stuff. I don't normally freak out like that, but I suppose an exception was called for in that particular case.

Friend (doing the calculations): He just killed 5,000 trollocs.
GM: Fuck. They retreat.

Ouch! Right in the trollocs!

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?

Oh, god, you have no idea how many stupid LoTR-based comments I have heard. I performed in Shore's LoTR Symphony a few years ago, and also worked as the choir's official "translator." Sadly, being choral padding (i.e. moderately incompetent singers whose job is to turn a good 40-person choir into a tolerable 120-person choir) apparently does not require much in the way of literacy or, in fact, rational thought. Some people were shocked to hear that the book came before the movie. Other people were shocked at the existence of a book large enough to be sold in three volumes. Still others were positively astounded that we had to sing in more than one language. And so on, and so on...

Ouch! Right in the trollocs!

Everyone in my party was inside the blast radius too! :p

Ouch! Right in the trollocs!
"don't worry, they'll grow back." :D

That's nothing. In WW2 my grandfather shot down The Red Baron himself with two M-16s; one in each hand.

Your grandfather is Snoopy?!?!??!!!!

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?What's wrong with this?? I'd love to read a novelization. Especially the part where the Elves come to defend Helm's Deep. :eek:

Dumbest thing I ever heard:

Radio One used to do a phone-in quiz called 'Dead or Alive'. The presenter would name famous people and the contestant would say whether they were dead or alive. Then, for the last and most important question, they would be asked to choose one of three categories which the last person would belong to. So, if it was 'folk singers, writers or politicians?' you might say 'folk singers', they might say 'Bob Dylan', and you would say 'alive' and win.

The incident is burnt into my brain forever.
I was working in a small workshop at the time, and that afternoon was in the print room with only the radio for company.
This woman got to the last question and was asked 'Austrian composers, jazz musicians, or Roman emperors?'
She said: 'Jazz musicians.'
The presenter, baffled, said: 'Err... no... or Roman emperors.'
She said: 'But I don't know anything about Roman emperors.'
At this point I threw a chisel at the radio and screamed: 'Get off my radio, you stupid woman!'. I'd thrown a hammer and several more objects before anyone could turn up and stop me.

Scary stuff. I don't normally freak out like that, but I suppose an exception was called for in that particular case.

A guy I live with has this on his door:

Radio host: Of which European country is Lisbon the capital?
Caller: Australia?
Host: Sorry, that's the wrong answer. [2nd caller's name], what's the answer?
2nd Caller: Damn, I was going to say Australia. Is it Gibraltar?

Or the folks who wanted to change the design of the memorial to Flight 93 because it's a crescent, and having it be a crescent would be an endorsement of the Islamic fundamentalism that directly caused the crash of the plane on September 11th and all the loss of life that day.

There's no good reason to use a shape that is associated with the ideology of the perpetrators of 9/11. They should be using a cross instead, or something associated with American culture.

There's no good reason to use a shape that is associated with the ideology of the perpetrators of 9/11. They should be using a cross instead, or something associated with American culture.
Indeed. It should be in the shape of the McDonalds arches!

The supreme dark lord, the use of magic rings, talking swords, dragons, very wise superior races, Men having to take charge, purely evil races, wizards, dwarves, elves, etc.


Talking swords? In LoTR? What? :confused:

So somebody doesn't know much about the Lord of the Rings phenomenon. Big deal. Does that really mean they're so very stupid? I think you need to get over yourself. I'm sure there's plenty of things that that person knew well about that you don't at all.

Talking swords? In LoTR? What? :confused:

In The Book of Lost Tales: Vo. II there was a talking sword. It also drinks blood. :D

So somebody doesn't know much about the Lord of the Rings phenomenon. Big deal. Does that really mean they're so very stupid? I think you need to get over yourself. I'm sure there's plenty of things that that person knew well about that you don't at all.

It depends on how they reacted when they were corrected. Chances are significant they ignored the new information and continued to make the claim.

It depends on how they reacted when they were corrected. Chances are significant they ignored the new information and continued to make the claim.

Now you're assuming things that I personally think is pretty unlikely.

Look, I hate people as much as the next girl, but I think this whole post is just one more thing I hate about them.

Now you're assuming things that I personally think is pretty unlikely.

Look, I hate people as much as the next girl, but I think this whole post is just one more thing I hate about them.

Welcome to NSG. Have a cookie. ;)

There's no good reason to use a shape that is associated with the ideology of the perpetrators of 9/11. They should be using a cross instead, or something associated with American culture.

stop being retarded and get back under your bridge, troll.

In The Book of Lost Tales: Vo. II there was a talking sword. It also drinks blood. :D

Ah, yes, Turin Turambar's, there's the point of confusion, I was thinking LoTR.

Fair enough then.

EDIT: No, wait, that was Unfinished Tales, I've only got Lost Tales vol 1 yet.

There's no good reason to use a shape that is associated with the ideology of the perpetrators of 9/11. They should be using a cross instead, or something associated with American culture.
the dollar sign?

Now you're assuming things that I personally think is pretty unlikely.

Look, I hate people as much as the next girl, but I think this whole post is just one more thing I hate about them.

I can give you a ton more things to hate about people.

the dollar sign?

This sign:

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2006-10/13/xin_25100313085998172523.jpg

only in this situation (and it happened in a real game session.)
RPG Game: Twilight 2000
Player 1: I toss a grenade at the approaching troops
GM: Roll to see if the Grenade lands where you want it to.
Player 1: (rolls dice) oops, I fumbled.
GM: Roll to see where it lands.
Player 1: (rolls dice) err... I dropped it
GM: Roll your luck to see where the grenade drops.
Player 1: (Rolls dice again) I fumbled again.
GM: well, it lands in your satchel of grenades... you gotta find it before it blows... I'll give you one search roll.
Player 1: (Rolls dice) I fumbled AGAIN!
GM: Ok, I'll rule that you have one chance to remove the bag and toss it away...
Player 1: (Rolls Dice) ... Dammit!
GM: err... Roll luck, maybe the Grenade is a dud...
Player 1: (Rolls dice) ... SH*T!
GM: Sorry... I tried... turn in your character sheet and roll up a new one.

Speaking - well, typing - as an RPG ref since 1974, I will sagely intone...

That's bloody hilarious...

Dumbest thing I ever heard:

Radio One used to do a phone-in quiz called 'Dead or Alive'. The presenter would name famous people and the contestant would say whether they were dead or alive. Then, for the last and most important question, they would be asked to choose one of three categories which the last person would belong to. So, if it was 'folk singers, writers or politicians?' you might say 'folk singers', they might say 'Bob Dylan', and you would say 'alive' and win.

The incident is burnt into my brain forever.
I was working in a small workshop at the time, and that afternoon was in the print room with only the radio for company.
This woman got to the last question and was asked 'Austrian composers, jazz musicians, or Roman emperors?'
She said: 'Jazz musicians.'
The presenter, baffled, said: 'Err... no... or Roman emperors.'
She said: 'But I don't know anything about Roman emperors.'
At this point I threw a chisel at the radio and screamed: 'Get off my radio, you stupid woman!'. I'd thrown a hammer and several more objects before anyone could turn up and stop me.

Scary stuff. I don't normally freak out like that, but I suppose an exception was called for in that particular case.

This example is missing the part that makes it stupid -- who was the last person? If it happened exactly the way you said, then the woman isn't stupid, the presenter is for not giving the person before offering the categories. If the woman was supposed to choose a category, she did.

I must be missing something...I can't be this stupid...at least I hope I'm missing something....

A guy I live with has this on his door:

Radio host: Of which European country is Lisbon the capital?
Caller: Australia?
Host: Sorry, that's the wrong answer. [2nd caller's name], what's the answer?
2nd Caller: Damn, I was going to say Australia. Is it Gibraltar?

At least "Lisbon" sounds like "Brisbane", which, though not the capital, is an Australian city. If they'd both said something like "Djibouti", then I'd be in full guffaw.

There's no good reason to use a shape that is associated with the ideology of the perpetrators of 9/11. They should be using a cross instead, or something associated with American culture.

Like a credit card?

It was a crescent chosen for aesthetic reasons, not a STAR and crescent, chosen for political or religious reasons. We have enough legitimate bogeymen without having to invent any more.

This example is missing the part that makes it stupid -- who was the last person? If it happened exactly the way you said, then the woman isn't stupid, the presenter is for not giving the person before offering the categories. If the woman was supposed to choose a category, she did.

I must be missing something...I can't be this stupid...at least I hope I'm missing something....

Roman Emporers are ALL DEAD!

This example is missing the part that makes it stupid -- who was the last person? If it happened exactly the way you said, then the woman isn't stupid, the presenter is for not giving the person before offering the categories. If the woman was supposed to choose a category, she did.

I must be missing something...I can't be this stupid...at least I hope I'm missing something....

well the thing is, the answer to the 'roman emperor' category can only be 'dead'. the answer to the other categories is still either/or. how many roman emperors are alive today?

well the thing is, the answer to the 'roman emperor' category can only be 'dead'. the answer to the other categories is still either/or. how many roman emperors are alive today?

So then wouldn't the radio staff be stupid for having the Roman Emporer choice as they're all dead?

I guess I don't see how the game works either.

*blushes*

well the thing is, the answer to the 'roman emperor' category can only be 'dead'. the answer to the other categories is still either/or. how many roman emperors are alive today?

Ah.

Please excuse me.

*hops into car / drives to local river / wades in with snorkel / spends three hours not moving in order to lure in trout with bait / waits until trout gets close enough / grabs for trout / misses / continues process for seven more hours / finally catches trout / exits river / returns home*

SQUISHSLAPFUMP

This self-trouting brought to you by the Greater Intangelon Trout Society --
"We're all GITS."


Thank you.

A friend of mine once said, "What is the french for 'crêpe'?".

Roman Emporers are ALL DEAD!

well the thing is, the answer to the 'roman emperor' category can only be 'dead'. the answer to the other categories is still either/or. how many roman emperors are alive today?

There's a legend in Greece that the last Roman Emperor, the Constantine who died in 1453 when the Turks took Constantinople, is only sleeping and will return to save the country someday. Though you could argue that he was a Byzantine Emperor, not Roman, I guess ...

There's a legend in Greece that the last Roman Emperor, the Constantine who died in 1453 when the Turks took Constantinople, is only sleeping and will return to save the country someday. Though you could argue that he was a Byzantine Emperor, not Roman, I guess ...

Supposedly several emperors ascended to godhood and are therefor immortal. And surely a radioshow would not wish to denounce such religious beliefs ;)

well the thing is, the answer to the 'roman emperor' category can only be 'dead'. the answer to the other categories is still either/or. how many roman emperors are alive today?
Berlussoni?

At least "Lisbon" sounds like "Brisbane", which, though not the capital, is an Australian city. If they'd both said something like "Djibouti", then I'd be in full guffaw.
Fair enough. Although Australia is about as far from Europe as you can get...

Oh, and if they think Australia is a European country, they've probably never heard of Djibouti.

Talking swords? In LoTR? What? :confused:

Not in LotR, my mistake. It's in his mythology, though. Turin's sword in the Silmarillion.

Supposedly several emperors ascended to godhood and are therefor immortal. And surely a radioshow would not wish to denounce such religious beliefs ;)

That would not be politiclly correct, to disparage the beliefs even of such long-dead people as the Romans. After all, we owe them so much ... Roman candles, for instance ... :p

So then wouldn't the radio staff be stupid for having the Roman Emporer choice as they're all dead?

I guess I don't see how the game works either.

*blushes*

i think it was supposed to be ridiculously easy. like those tv quizzes that set piss easy questions to get tonnes of people to phone in so they get the money from the phone charges, then one person gets chose and they get a couple of grand.

i think it was supposed to be ridiculously easy. like those tv quizzes that set piss easy questions to get tonnes of people to phone in so they get the money from the phone charges, then one person gets chose and they get a couple of grand.

"Piss easy questions" ... :D For people so dumb they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.

So then wouldn't the radio staff be stupid for having the Roman Emporer choice as they're all dead?

I guess I don't see how the game works either.

*blushes*
How it was described, that show makes no fucking sense.

Berlussoni?

he's milanese, not roman. and power grubbing he might be, but emperor he ain't. ;)

i think it was supposed to be ridiculously easy. like those tv quizzes that set piss easy questions to get tonnes of people to phone in so they get the money from the phone charges, then one person gets chose and they get a couple of grand.

Ahh, I see. Forgive me for thinking that quizzes and gameshows ought to be challenging. ;)

Kind of reminds me of the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skits, with categories like "Shapes" "numbers" and "just write anything"

"Piss easy questions" ... :D For people so dumb they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.

hahahaha! i like that one, heehehe!

I can top everything posted in this thread so far with ease. Shall I?

How it was described, that show makes no fucking sense.

maybe you had to be there...

I can top everything posted in this thread so far with ease. Shall I?

Please.

Please.

I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie

And that isn't even the stupidest thing I've encountered.

Roman Emporers are ALL DEAD!Does Otto Habsburg still unofficially hold the title of Holy Roman Emperor?

And that isn't even the stupidest thing I've encountered.

That is pretty good, I have to admit. :D

And that isn't even the stupidest thing I've encountered.

I still like Schwarzenegger's "Gay marriage is between a man and a woman." Absolutely brilliant.

Not in LotR, my mistake. It's in his mythology, though. Turin's sword in the Silmarillion.Anglachel/Gurthang talks?

Anglachel/Gurthang talks?

Yeah. I don't have it with me, so I can't cite the page (they would probably be different anyway).

It's in white. Only read if you want me to give away parts of the ending of the chapter.

It's after he stabs Glaurung and Glaurung's lying there, dieing. He explains everything to Turin and Turin asks Gurthang to take one last blood: the sword says something along the lines of "I've desired your blood forever" or something and Turin kills himself, breaking the sword.

One time on Fox or some other new channel, right around the time the Passion of the Christ was coming out, they were discussing it


This is controversial stuff! In fact, sooner or later, we'll probably see books based on it popping up!

One time on Fox or some other new channel, right around the time the Passion of the Christ was coming out, they were discussing it

This is controversial stuff! In fact, sooner or later, we'll probably see books based on it popping up!

They could just be referring to the fact that there are a lot of books (mostly non-fiction) which have popped up. Of course, there was always The Book, but books came up about The Book, speaking in relation to the movie. That was probably all they were referring to as going to happen.

"Everybody's cashing in on the Lord of the Rings movies with all those novelizations."

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly. Can somebody please, please explain how these people manage to procreate? I would think they'd, you know, miss. Or something.

I really don't like people.

Seriously, though, what stupid crap have you heard recently?
Lulz.

I'm still incredibly fond of my New Year's Eve experience when everyone whipped out their mobiles and sent messages and tried to call people and subsequently all complained because the nets were suffering from overload like hell (and like every year on NYE) and no one could get through.. and then that one girl contributes the following to the general discussion on mobile phone networks being overloaded:

Yeah, it's amazing, and shocking, to what extent that can happen.. I still recall how on 9/11, the towers crashed in the morning and all the information lines and networks suddenly exploded with business so much that we only heard about it in the afternoon!

I'm German. That's NY time zone plus 6 hours.

Yeah. I don't have it with me, so I can't cite the page (they would probably be different anyway).

It's in white. Only read if you want me to give away parts of the ending of the chapter.

It's after he stabs Glaurung and Glaurung's lying there, dieing. He explains everything to Turin and Turin asks Gurthang to take one last blood: the sword says something along the lines of "I've desired your blood forever" or something and Turin kills himself, breaking the sword....*grabs sil*...
but yeah, I recall now.... and it is this sword with which Melkor is killed in the end, right? In the Last Battle?

So the other day, I was minding my own business in my dumb math class and to make things easier I'll just say the term "president" is used, and one thing leads to another, a girl says,

Girl: "Well the US is like the only country that has presidents."

Me:"Well there's also Finland, and Russia,..."

Stupid Boy: "Well Russia's Communist."

Me: "Are you joking?"

Stupid Boy: "Uh..."

No joke. My high school is built upon white flight and the kids are all rich, ignorant, ingrateful, and snobby.

heard dummer ones... like my friend who encountered a nut trying to get a pettion signed to change the name of the movie "The Two Towers" because it's offensive to the families of the victims of 9/11.

my understanding is that this was originally a satirical web-petition that was hijacked by morons who took it seriously

...*grabs sil*...
but yeah, I recall now.... and it is this sword with which Melkor is killed in the end, right? In the Last Battle?

I don't know. I don't have the last four books published. I've never had enough money to buy them when I've seen them.

my understanding is that this was originally a satirical web-petition that was hijacked by morons who took it seriously

which doesn't exscuse the stupidity of those who actually tried to make it work. ;)

Of course, I'm also the person who had this conversation with a cop:

Cop: "Do you know what oral sex is?"
Me: "Sir, I go to a high school."

Of course, I'm also the person who had this conversation with a cop:

Cop: "Do you know what oral sex is?"
Me: "Sir, I go to a high school."

I hope he was just making conversation.

I wanted to choke this person very, very badly...

Or you could choose not to be offended by this person's ignorance and calmly explain to them that the books predate the movies, and that the movies were based on the books written by JRR Tolkien.

Life is much more pleasent when you don't try to find things to get offended about. All that bitterness and rage eats away at you, take it from one who knows, you are better off letting little things like this roll off you without taking offence.

That's nothing. In WW2 my grandfather shot down The Red Baron himself with two M-16s; one in each hand.

I never thought I could shoot down a German plane. But last year I proved myself wrong.

My ex gf was pretty shocking with geography...
"But Asia is in China?!"

Also, my mates gf worked for a little bit at Internal Affairs (I think...). One day this person rang up asking if she had received an email or something from the Germany. She checked her emails and stuff, and said no. The next day they called again and she again checked and replied no. Finally, she decided to ask someone to check her computer for her. The person looked through the emails and found one from "Berlin".. She had no idea.
(That story isn't exactly correct, I can't quite remember the details but it's close enough).

one my friend told me...

Some of his students (college no less) argued that if slavery wasn't taught in schools and written about in textbooks, then eventually, America won't have discrimination since the ideas behind slavery won't be taught (I.e. one race is better/superior than another.)

one my friend told me...

Some of his students (college no less) argued that if slavery wasn't taught in schools and written about in textbooks, then eventually, America won't have discrimination since the ideas behind slavery won't be taught (I.e. one race is better/superior than another.)

They had just read Orwell I assume ?
There may be a grain of truth in that though. Has it ever been researched if people discriminate on skincolour naturally or if it is learned behaviour ?

I had someone call me today and ask me if they had to file taxes since "they had been in the hospital" in 2006, apparently someone told them that if you got sick you didn't owe income tax. When I finally got to the bottom of what their situation was it turns out that they didn't pay any estimated payments, made 30K and spent the night in the ER for an ingrown toenail.

:rolleyes:

they also wanted me to deduct money given to charity for them (charity being she gave it to her ex-husband because he couldn't pay his car insurance)

my sister had a stomach operation a few years back that ended up with a hunk of her stomach being removed...

the husband of her best friend at the time suggested that the operation had rendered her infertile because she only had half a stomach left--no place for a baby to grow, eh?


he was a grown man with a child of his own.

my sister had a stomach operation a few years back that ended up with a hunk of her stomach being removed...

the husband of her best friend at the time suggested that the operation had rendered her infertile because she only had half a stomach left--no place for a baby to grow, eh?


he was a grown man with a child of his own.

:D ... :eek: Uhm, he does understand where babies come from, right?

:D ... :eek: Uhm, he does understand where babies come from, right?

I think Ashmoria answered your question... :p

I think Ashmoria answered your question... :p

You may be right ... *sigh*

Scary stuff. I don't normally freak out like that, but I suppose an exception was called for in that particular case.

I don't think so.

Everyone has their stupid moments where they don't pick up on something self-evident to everyone else. If witnessing someone else having that kind of moment makes you so mad that you become violent, I think the real problem is yours, not hers.

:D ... :eek: Uhm, he does understand where babies come from, right?

you would think that he would have to know. he was a father. he helped his wife through her pregnancy (or at least he was there at the time). how could he possibly have missed that its not connected to the stomach?

and yet, he actually thought that without a whole stomach my sister couldnt get pregnant

we'll never know any more of his thought process, after he said that my sister said it was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. he wasnt inclined to continue the subject.

I don't think so.

Everyone has their stupid moments where they don't pick up on something self-evident to everyone else. If witnessing someone else having that kind of moment makes you so mad that you become violent, I think the real problem is yours, not hers.

Granted that throwing tools at the radio is probably a little extreme, don't you think that the contestant's answer is just a little ... what's the word I want? ... funny? Just maybe a little?

They had just read Orwell I assume ?
There may be a grain of truth in that though. Has it ever been researched if people discriminate on skincolour naturally or if it is learned behaviour ?actually, the argument behind that suggestion was more to the fact of
"if it's not taught then we didn't do it."

so if Pearl Harbor wasn't taught, then the Japanese didn't bomb it and it didn't happen, and if Hiroshima and Nagasaki are not taught then no atomic weapons were used... ever. and so forth and on...

you would think that he would have to know. he was a father. he helped his wife through her pregnancy (or at least he was there at the time). how could he possibly have missed that its not connected to the stomach?

and yet, he actually thought that without a whole stomach my sister couldnt get pregnant

we'll never know any more of his thought process, after he said that my sister said it was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. he wasnt inclined to continue the subject.

Well, but from the outside, you know, there's no reason to think that there isn't a connection to the actual stomach. And if she carried high, all the more reason. :p

actually, the argument behind that suggestion was more to the fact of
"if it's not taught then we didn't do it."

so if Pearl Harbor wasn't taught, then the Japanese didn't bomb it and it didn't happen, and if Hiroshima and Nagasaki are not taught then no atomic weapons were used... ever. and so forth and on...

Pure Orwellian ? Impressive.
Then again, I believe many people are not interested in facts nowadays. With full government sanction.

Pure Orwellian ? Impressive.
Then again, I believe many people are not interested in facts nowadays. With full government sanction.

History Revisionists actually.

Pure Orwellian ? Impressive.
Then again, I believe many people are not interested in facts nowadays. With full government sanction.

You'll find, as you get older, that facts just get in the way. As the old man in one of Saroyan's stories said, "I'm not here to learn, I know."

History Revisionists actually.

I prefer "doubletinkers" ;)


Since about that time, war had been literally continuous, though strictly speaking it had not always been the same war. For several months during his childhood there had
been confused street fighting in London itself, some of which he remembered vividly. But to trace out the history of the whole period, to say who was fighting whom at any given moment, would have been utterly impossible, since no written record, and no spoken word, ever made mention of any other alignment than the existing one. At this moment, for example, in 1984 (if it was 1984), Oceania was at war with Eurasia and in alliance with Eastasia. In no public or private utterance was it ever admitted that the three powers had at any time been grouped along different lines. Actually, as Winston well knew, it was only four years since Oceania had been at war with Eastasia and in alliance with Eurasia. But that was merely a piece of furtive knowledge which he happened to possess because his memory was not satisfactorily under control. Officially the change of partners had never happened. Oceania was at war with Eurasia: therefore Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia. The enemy of the moment always represented absolute evil, and it followed that any past or future agreement with him was impossible.

The frightening thing, he reflected for the ten thousandth time as he forced his shoulders painfully backward (with hands on hips, they were gyrating their bodies from the waist, an exercise that was supposed to be good for the back muscles) -- the frightening thing was that it might all be true. If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never happened -- that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death?

The Party said that Oceania had never been in alliance with Eurasia. He, Winston Smith, knew that Oceania had been in alliance with Eurasia as short a time as four years ago. But where did that knowledge exist? Only in his own consciousness, which in any case must soon be annihilated. And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed -if all records told the same tale -- then the lie passed into history and became truth. 'Who controls the past,' ran the Party slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.' And yet the past, though of its nature alterable, never had been altered. Whatever was true now was true from everlasting to everlasting. It was quite simple. All that was needed was an unending series of victories over your own memory. 'Reality control', they called it: in Newspeak, 'doublethink'.

Blurb of the day:

Me: "I can not send you that, I had to format my harddisk where it was on..."

Him: "So?"

Everyone has their stupid moments where they don't pick up on something self-evident to everyone else. If witnessing someone else having that kind of moment makes you so mad that you become violent, I think the real problem is yours, not hers.

I tend to agree - I had a worrying and somewhat childish tendency to flip for no obvious reason. Most uncool, but I haven't done it for a few years now. Cutting down on the drinking helped.