NationStates Jolt Archive

We were havign a talk about it, and at my high school in the eariler years of "dating" going out is basically you liking someone and asking some one if they want to "go out" and if they say yes, you are basically "going out".

Now I know this can't be right, what by definition makes a boy friend or girl friend for you?

if you like, habitually go places with them? as in, "go out"?

if you like, habitually go places with them? as in, "go out"?

See this is where the confusion starts. "Going out" as mean as having relations with them as a girl friend or boy friend.

Usually what you do is say “will you go out with me?” they should know what “going out” means if they don’t and somehow think that your just friends who have hot sex every minuet, win/win

Of course you could just get someone up the duff and initiate a painful relationship for the child whatever works:)

'going out' I don't think I've ever used that phrase. Well I have, but preceded by 'are we' instead of 'want to'.

The answer to the 'are we' question is almost always unequivocablely 'yes'. The next question 'when did we start going out?'. The way in which I get involved in relationships means remembering aniversaries will never be a problem.

What is this 'going out' concept you speak of. How oddly foreign...

What is this 'going out' concept you speak of. How oddly foreign...

I believe it is something to do with 'courting'.

I believe it is something to do with 'courting'.
So... do I need a summons for that or will they drag me there kicking and screaming?

you are boyfriend and girlfriend if you continue to "go out" and agree to not "go out" with anyone else.

smooching now and then helps too

you are boyfriend and girlfriend if you continue to "go out" and agree to not "go out" with anyone else.

what does that make open relationships? (yes I realise that it will never come up in my or anyone’s life here on NS:p )

We were havign a talk about it, and at my high school in the eariler years of "dating" going out is basically you liking someone and asking some one if they want to "go out" and if they say yes, you are basically "going out".

Now I know this can't be right, what by definition makes a boy friend or girl friend for you?

You're lying, hobos can't read.

what does that make open relationships? (yes I realise that it will never come up in my or anyone’s life here on NS:p )

open relationships are just "dating".

if you arent exclusive you arent boyfriend/girlfriend.

theres nothing wrong with just dating.

if you arent exclusive you arent boyfriend/girlfriend.

Why not?

Yech, labels. Whatever two people decide to call what they’re doing.

Now I know this can't be right, what by definition makes a boy friend or girl friend for you?

No, that's pretty much the definition my friend and I came up with. In the really early years, like 7th-8th grade, that's about it.

Why not?

because thats the rules. you dont date a bunch of girlfriends. you date one. if you find that your girlfriend is dating another boy too, you have just found out that she has decided that she doesnt want to be your girlfriend anymore. even if she still wants to date now and then.

because thats the rules. you dont date a bunch of girlfriends. you date one.

How are those the rules? What is it about the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" that presuppose the sorts of exclusivity you refer to? Sure, there must be a distinction between those classified as "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" and those classified as just ordinary males and females, otherwise the term is pointless, but this distinction can encompass plenty of things other than monogamous exclusivity.

How would you classify a polyamorous relationship whose members do not date outside of the relationship?

if you find that your girlfriend is dating another boy too, you have just found out that she has decided that she doesnt want to be your girlfriend anymore. even if she still wants to date now and then.

Unless we are in an open relationship, in which case it depends on the terms of the relationship and what this "dating" constitutes.

Perhaps we have exclusive love for each other, but freely permit each other multiple sexual partners... or some other such arrangement. How is that inconsistent with the concept of "girlfriend" or "boyfriend"?

because thats the rules.

if only these things had rules (on that note your idea of the 60’s and Scandinavia/Iceland must be pretty messed up)

How are those the rules? What is it about the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" that presuppose the sorts of exclusivity you refer to? Sure, there must be a distinction between those classified as "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" and those classified as just ordinary males and females, otherwise the term is pointless, but this distinction can encompass plenty of things other than monogamous exclusivity.

How would you classify a polyamorous relationship whose members do not date outside of the relationship?



Unless we are in an open relationship, in which case it depends on the terms of the relationship and what this "dating" constitutes.

Perhaps we have exclusive love for each other, but freely permit each other multiple sexual partners... or some other such arrangement. How is that inconsistent with the concept of "girlfriend" or "boyfriend"?

when you get into a polyamorous relationship in highschool YOU can tell ME what you call each other

what do YOU think someone in highschool means when he says "suzy is my girlfriend?"

We were havign a talk about it, and at my high school in the eariler years of "dating" going out is basically you liking someone and asking some one if they want to "go out" and if they say yes, you are basically "going out".

Now I know this can't be right, what by definition makes a boy friend or girl friend for you?

sex?

if only these things had rules (on that note your idea of the 60’s and Scandinavia/Iceland must be pretty messed up)

i dont care how many people anyone dates.

if you are going to call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend that implies exclusivity. i dont care if you want to date other girls on the side. good luck with it.

when you get into a polyamorous relationship in highschool YOU can tell ME what you call each other

I don't believe the question referred exclusively to high school.

what do YOU think someone in highschool means when he says "suzy is my girlfriend?"

Exactly what the OP said.

going out is basically you liking someone and asking some one if they want to "go out" and if they say yes, you are basically "going out".

I don't believe the question referred exclusively to high school.



Exactly what the OP said.

going out is just going out, it doesnt make anyone your girlfriend. you arent the boyfriend of every girl you have ever dated.

you arent the boyfriend of every girl you have ever dated.

Nor am I actively "going out" with them.

going out is just going out, it doesnt make anyone your girlfriend. you arent the boyfriend of every girl you have ever dated.

i always assumed "going out" with someone did mean you were their boyfriend/girlfriend.... but maybe that's just the way it is here.

sex?

well that adds a whole new level of horror to young kids dating :p

if you are going to call someone your girlfriend or boyfriend that implies exclusivity.

no it implies that your not "just friends"

i dont care if you want to date other girls on the side. good luck with it.

what if there not on the side what if 4 people are in a non-marital romantic relationship with each other, are you to say that somehow there aren’t all boyfriend/girlfriend?

Of course

i always assumed "going out" with someone did mean you were their boyfriend/girlfriend.... but maybe that's just the way it is here.

if you are dating 2 girls at the same time are they both your girlfriend then?

if she is dating you and someone else are you her boyfriend?

what if there not on the side what if 4 people are in a non-marital romantic relationship with each other, are you to say that somehow there aren’t all boyfriend/girlfriend?

Of course

as i said before when you are in highschool and are dating (as in smooching everyone you date) in a group, you can tell me what you call each other.

I believe it is something to do with 'courting'.
What what, i say old chap?





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If you Go Out with someone you are not Going Out with them, obvioulsy it is more than once, if you go out(:p ) with someone 3 or more times over a period of more than 6 days i say you are 'Going Out' with them, if not, you are just 'Seeing them'.

if you are dating 2 girls at the same time are they both your girlfriend then?

if she is dating you and someone else are you her boyfriend?

well first up i wouldn't be dating or 'going out with' two people at the same time.
secondly if she was i'd probably be offended and wouldn't want to continue going out with her.

well that adds a whole new level of horror to young kids dating :p


lol i didn't think of that :P
i was just answering what the term meant to *me* (but not seriously cos that would actually involve thinking :eek: and its too late for that *nods*)

sex?

What?

as i said before when you are in highschool and are dating in a group, you can tell me what you call each other.

they call each other lots of things if that was somehow binding then there are allot of teenage marriages going on now (at least in Britain the U.S may have a more oppressive puritan view on the whole thing)

well first up i wouldn't be dating or 'going out with' two people at the same time.
secondly if she was i'd probably be offended and wouldn't want to continue going out with her.


which is why its fine for you to call a girl you have been dating and both plan to continue dating each other your girlfriend. the very act of dating her implies exclusivity eh?

they call each other lots of things if that was somehow binding then there are allot of teenage marriages going on now (at least in Britain the U.S may have a more oppressive puritan view on the whole thing)

binding? marriages?

all im talking about is dating.

which is why its fine for you to call a girl you have been dating and both plan to continue dating each other your girlfriend. the very act of dating her implies exclusivity eh?

yup.

what does that make open relationships? (yes I realise that it will never come up in my or anyone’s life here on NS:p )

Ha, speak for ur self:cool:

Ha, speak for ur self:cool:

It must be hard masturbating with your left hand though…:p

We were havign a talk about it, and at my high school in the eariler years of "dating" going out is basically you liking someone and asking some one if they want to "go out" and if they say yes, you are basically "going out".

Now I know this can't be right, what by definition makes a boy friend or girl friend for you?
The "we're calling each other that" definition seems to be the one I usually work with. It does get confusing, but that's the only one that seems to work.

The one and only rule of relationships is that there is no rule.

The term ‘going out’ can imply a lot of things; it is entirely dependent upon those involved. Just like the girlfriend/boyfriend definition, it means different things to different people.

In my personal view, ‘going out’ simply implies that we are informally dating. By which I mean we spend some time with just the two of us, and there is some sort of emotional attachment deeper than that of ‘just a friend’. There may be some physical intimacy as well, but I have that with some of my friends, so it isn't included in the definition.

Dating, is a slightly more formal version of ‘going out’. It is generally something a little more stable, when you’ve been going out for a while

Girlfriend/boyfriend means (imho) that you have some sort of serious emotional attachment with some sort of commitment or general sense of being together for the foreseeable future. It does not imply exclusivity in my view.

The whole exclusive thing is widely divergent – I have met some girls who demand exclusivity at the very first date. That’s right, meet a girl, chat her up and ask her if she wants to go for dinner, and by the time you show up at her door you cannot touch another girl again. The first date. Aside from an hour or so of flirting at a party, you have no idea who this girl is, yet she expects you to be exclusive. That is one extreme end.

The other extremity is the fully open polyamorous relationship. You are completely free to date others and even form tight emotional connections with them. This in no way means you cannot love, cherish, or be fully committed to your partner, nor that you cannot love your other partners as well. While it does get tricky if you have two extremely deep relationships and some crisis comes up where you have to choose between them, but the vast majority of the time rational individuals can work these things out.

I am more to the latter than the former in that I like open polyamorous relationships where there is one couple who are ‘primaries’ (they come first before others) and a more extended network of ‘secondaries’ who you are dating but with whom you do not have a lifelong commitment.

Relationships are entirely a grey area. The vast majority of my relationships have always fallen into the ‘undefined’ category. I have even introduced someone I was seeing to a group of my more open-minded friends as “my undefined”.

Attaching labels to them is not always practicable, and can lead to serious miscommunication. The only way to work it out is to talk to your significant other(s) and discuss it.

sex?

well, if you're offering...

wow this thread is confusing, when i say going out (literaly translated in dutch that is) i always mean going to a party. with/without friends (girls/boys)

You're lying, hobos can't read.

Woody Guthrie?

Ive always assumed that "Dating" was just going out with a friend that you have romantic interest in for meals and movies and fun stuff but no official relationship has been agreed upon yet. As such one or both of you may be dating other people.

Ive assumed that "going out" (mainly a UK term I thought) or "going steady" (mainly a US term I thought) was where you take the next level of "commitment" as in you are seeing this person only.

Next would come Engaged if you have decided you're fond enough of each other to consider marriage.

the rest is easy to figure out.

I make no mention of sex as when that happens can vary widely.

Dating can means anything. You see, the world dating comes from date, which is the day someone agreed to do something with someone else.

For me, the words mean this:

Going out: You go do something with someone you have interest with.
Dating: You go do something with someone you already have some kind of relationship, a comproved one (meaning you´ve kissed, agreed to date etc). Which means you can date a lot of people at the same time.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Exclusivity. Someone you introduce to your parents, meet their parents, give gifts on aniverseries etc.