NationStates Jolt Archive

He told the court: "I have been tried before in the chief's court but I have maintained my innocence, and I still deny the charges. I have heard it said that she was impregnated by goblins, I certainly don't know her."http://www.newzimbabwe.com/pages/incest55.15033.html

A Zimbabwean man has crafted a brilliant legal defense for knocking up underage girls. Claim that goblins impregnated her. Why tell little lies, such as that she consented, when you can tell big ones, such as that she got banged by lusted-up pixies?

Hahaha, it's all going exactly as we planned!

:fluffle:

Do your psychic powers lead you to these articles or are you just lucky?

:fluffle:

Do your psychic powers lead you to these articles or are you just lucky?

Neither. I've just got mad skillz yo.

ZOMG! teh ebil g0blinxorz!!!!!1!!! :mp5:

It amazes me time and time again what legal defenses some people come up with.

Where do you find this shit?

pshaw everyone knows that Zimbabwe has no mountain chains capable of supporting any goblinoids. A much more plausible culprit would be gnomes or dwarves.

He was accused of telling "fibs" in court?


Wow.. just wow.

When asked to comment, Grunthos Goblin replied, "Are you kidding me?!? Have you seen her? I wouldn't fuck her with a leprechaun's dick!"

Hahahaha!

...

Wait, how do I know none of you are goblins waiting to rape underaged girls?

>.>
<.<

*flees*

I'm gonna laugh when a little Gnome comes out of her.
That guy didn't do it.
The Goblins didn't do it.

It was a Garden Gnome!

When asked to comment, Grunthos Goblin replied, "Are you kidding me?!? Have you seen her? I wouldn't fuck her with a leprechaun's dick!"

Leprechaun representatives were unavailable to comment on this, but are expected to refuse to give directions to their pots of gold until they recieve an apology.

just reading that has lead me to say nuke the dam place

Leprechaun representatives were unavailable to comment on this, but are expected to refuse to give directions to their pots of gold until they recieve an apology.

A group of orcs have filed civil suit for continued misrepresentations of orcs in the media, complaining that they are conflated with their cousins, the goblins.

Excellent! An opportunity for another Leprechaun conspiracy post (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11975390&postcount=53)!

*Starts working on first draft.

Hahahaha!

...

Wait, how do I know none of you are goblins waiting to rape underaged girls?

>.>
<.<

*flees*

Don't worry, your not underaged.

Don't worry, your not underaged.

Fool! The goblins don't care about your age! They come to any girl or woman who refuses to brush her teath!

Wow, combining sex-education with an encouragement for good dental health. I'm such a positive influence on the developing mind, I am.

Fool! The goblins don't care about your age! They come to any girl or woman who refuses to brush her teath!

Wow, combining sex-education with an encouragement for good dental health. I'm such a positive influence on the developing mind, I am.

Indeed. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

A group of orcs have filed civil suit for continued misrepresentations of orcs in the media, complaining that they are conflated with their cousins, the goblins.

Meanwhile, the ambassador from the gnome federation has expressed outrage at the refusal of the leprechauns to reveal the location of their currency of mass value, and has given them a 24-hours to either allow gnomish inspectors to continue their search or be faced with an invasion.

Meanwhile, the ambassador from the gnome federation has expressed outrage at the refusal of the leprechauns to reveal the location of their currency of mass value, and has given them a 24-hours to either allow gnomish inspectors to continue their search or be faced with an invasion.

The Faerie federation has said it would oppose more gnomish inspectors or an invasion of leprechaun land unless it got a share of their pots of gold.

Meanwhile, the ambassador from the gnome federation has expressed outrage at the refusal of the leprechauns to reveal the location of their currency of mass value, and has given them a 24-hours to either allow gnomish inspectors to continue their search or be faced with an invasion.

United Magical Nations Wizard General has said such a war would be totally illegal, but declined to comment on what he thinks he could do to stop the Gnomes and their dwarf allies.

United Magical Nations Wizard General has said such a war would be totally illegal, but declined to comment on what he thinks he could do to stop the Gnomes and their dwarf allies.
Marmadas Underarm of the Hobbit Collective grows concerned by the current developments of relations between the Leprechauns and Gnome Federation.

The Hobbit Collective has noted the Leprechauns production of footware is at a 6 year low.
Although Hobbits have no use for shoes, a downfall in shoe production is a worrying sign.

We urge all member parties of the issues at hand to rethink their stance and strive for unity and prosperity.
Marmadas Underarm

Meanwhile the Water Babies have planned an all out offensive and have nukes pointed towards both the Gnome and Leprachaun colonies.

your orcs , gnome,goblins your all the same you all can just look down the barrel of my forty-five

The Supreme Dual Monarchy of the Confederation of Troll caves, bridges, and other Estates would just like to inform the people of the world that it wholly supports an invasion of Leprechaun domains! Death to this green plague of tyranny!

Breaking News: The Leprachauns have enlisted the help of one Ralph Wiggum. Here's what he had to say:

http://www.livejournal.com/userpic/40296936/591277

pshaw everyone knows that Zimbabwe has no mountain chains capable of supporting any goblinoids. A much more plausible culprit would be gnomes or dwarves.

Wrong! Everyone knows gnomes favor a more temperate climate than that of Africa, Duh!! As for dwarves, I believe the PC term for them is "height challenged".:p