NationStates Jolt Archive

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

I don't see any reason not to believe it. This country is strange.

This is probably the same 25% that awaited it in 2006.

Jesus Christ! :eek:

Americans are funny.

Americans are funny.

Poms are funnier.

This is probably the same 25% that awaited it in 2006.

And that will probably await it with undying faith and absolute certainty in 2008.

Isn't confidence a beautiful thing? :p

Poms are funnier.

Speaking as a half-Pom, I don't think a quarter of us are confidently expecting Jesus to pop up in London before next Christmas to see how we've been doing these past two thousand years...

Poms are funnier.

Yeah, British comedy is the win - but for the most part, Americans are unintentionally humorous. :)

Speaking as a half-Pom, I don't think a quarter of us are confidently expecting Jesus to pop up in London before next Christmas to see how we've been doing these past two thousand years...

I never said that :(

A lot of English are humourous, sometimes intentionally.

Jesus will return and he will open a swingers bar. So it is written in the Scriptures :p

I think Jesus will return on exactly never.

Jesus will return and he will open a swingers bar. So it is written in the Scriptures :p

Heretic! Scripture clearly says that it's Mary who'll open the swinger bar to come a second time.
Jesus will be the club bouncer.

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.Well, I was told that the end of the world was said to happen in 2006. I'm still waiting. Maybe somehow I missed it? Or maybe the world has already ended, and this is hell? :eek:

I think Jesus will return on exactly never.

I sure wouldn't. I'd start over. Epsilon Eridani is looking promising. *nod*

I sure wouldn't. I'd start over. Epsilon Eridani is looking promising. *nod*

Catching God in the bed with another species of creations? Awkward~

Sometimes, I hate America.

The second coming was due to happen in 2002 , but got postponed for economic reasons.:p

Jesus Christ! :eek:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif 'sup?

Poms are funnier.

I resent that! :p

Eh... I'd believe there were that many people "hoping" for the Second Coming this year, but I doubt that many could honestly say they "expect" it.

This is one of those fun polls that they take in America simply to get a good laugh.

They succeeded.

America, if nothing else, you're great for a laugh or two.

it depends on the wording of the question now doesnt it?

one can anticipate the second coming this year without believing that this is the year that it will happen.

i suppose that many true believers think that it will happen this century though.

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

Well, South Park claims that one fourth of the American Public is retarded.

One fourth of the American people believe that our government caused 9/11.
One fourth of the American people believe that George W. Bush is doing a good job in Iraq
One fourth of the American people believe that Jews are responsible for the death of their savior.
One fourth of the American people believe that the 2,000 year old blood drinking ghost of the most famous pacifist ever will take a human form of Lou Ferigno-like proportions and vaporize people who haven't started worshiping him yet, and will then rule the world for 1,000 years.

You mean 'One quarter'?

This is funny, until you realize that with so many people believing Jesus is about to return, we don't have to worry about the consequences of war or pollution or poverty. At that point, it gets scary.

Whenever I tell my mom something about global warming, peak oil, reduction of civil liberties, etc., she just sighs and says, "It'll all be fixed when Jesus comes back..."

And yet, at the same time: "God made this world. He controls it! Do you really think people could destroy it if he did not want them to? God will not let his creation come to harm."

:headbang:

Ya know, it's things like that big "0%" up there for yes that make me like these forums.

I believe Christs second coming will happen at some time,although why next year I am not sure.No,it is not likely. Anyway,there has to be seven years of tribulations before that hapens,which should kill off the majority of earths population,THEN he comes.

Whenever I tell my mom something about global warming, peak oil, reduction of civil liberties, etc., she just sighs and says, "It'll all be fixed when Jesus comes back..."

And yet, at the same time: "God made this world. He controls it! Do you really think people could destroy it if he did not want them to? God will not let his creation come to harm."


Oh, my. I feel your pain. :(


Ya know, it's things like that big "0%" up there for yes that make me like these forums.

Yes, it is rather reassuring. Although the 11.63% of "I'm not sure"s do bother me slightly...

I believe Christs second coming will happen at some time,although why next year I am not sure.No,it is not likely. Anyway,there has to be seven years of tribulations before that hapens,which should kill off the majority of earths population,THEN he comes.
I thought doctrine was that he comes once (Rapture), THEN the Tribulation happens, then he comes again (Second Coming)...

No, I'm not sure is a perfectly decent answer. It assumes nothing, but still keeps the idea that it's a possibility. I don't agree with it, but it's much more sane than "JESUS IS COMING! LOCK YOUR DOORS!"

Because Jesus is black you know.

He'll steal your TV.

WORD MOFO!

He was suposed to come back in the year 100. Didnt hapen.
He was suposed to come back in the year 500. Didnt hapen.
He was suposed to come back in the year 1000. Didnt hapen.

Didnt hapen in 1500. Didnt hapen in 2000. Now they want him to come back randomly, in dumb years like 2007? 2007 is the year James Bond came back, with the amazing movie caled Casino Royale.

I´m glad it was James Bond, because Jesus sucks.

I bet they polled four people, and one of them works for World Weekly News.

I bet they polled four people, and one of them works for World Weekly News.

That explains it quite nicely.

He was already here once. Would YOU want to come back if they did all of that stuff to you?

Houdini also has yet to return.

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

Sounds about right. Still better than the 20% who think that the Sun orbits the Earth.

Jesus has probably already come, looked around, said fuck this noise, and left.

It's what I would have done.

Jesus Christ! :eek:

My reaction was more like "Jesus H Christ." :eek:

He was suposed to come back in the year 100. Didnt hapen.
He was suposed to come back in the year 500. Didnt hapen.
He was suposed to come back in the year 1000. Didnt hapen.

Didnt hapen in 1500. Didnt hapen in 2000. Now they want him to come back randomly, in dumb years like 2007? 2007 is the year James Bond came back, with the amazing movie caled Casino Royale.

I´m glad it was James Bond, because Jesus sucks.

You're wrong. Bond came back in 2006. What kind of Bond fan are you? Can't wait for the next one in a few years though.

Jesus did come back in 2000 and was locked away in a mental institution

You're wrong. Bond came back in 2006. What kind of Bond fan are you? Can't wait for the next one in a few years though.

The real Bond does not drive an invisable car

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

there was another poll not to long ago that showed something like 60%(I don't recall the exact %) of americans believe god gives them special protection vs other countries...

I thought doctrine was that he comes once (Rapture), THEN the Tribulation happens, then he comes again (Second Coming)...

Well,sortof.The first coming was when he showed up in Isreal 2000 years ago.But yes,I forgot Rapture,which is when a bunch of really nice people will just disappear and go to heaven ,so they dont have to go through tribulations(i.e. Antichrist attempting to take over,Hitler x100).

You're wrong. Bond came back in 2006. What kind of Bond fan are you? Can't wait for the next one in a few years though.

Hey hey hey hey hey waitaminute. Ok, oficial dates in 2006. But it was the end of 2006 anyway, at least here.

It started here december 10, which unoficialy is 2007 already.

And I´m a bigger bond fan than you are. :rolleyes:

And there is no invisible car in Casino Royale. In short, CR has almost none of those stupid gadgets. It has a plot instead.

Yeah, but nothing will happen, as his looks will keep him out of most countries and airplanes.

The republicans lost. The world isn't worth living in anymore. They need the godhead of their cult to come and take them away before they find out that not only will life go on, but it will start getting better. They simply can't have it.

[/sarcasm... not really]

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.He's going to come when least expected. so if only 25% really expect him to come in 2007, it just might be when he comes back. you can never know for certain...

Some signs are there, but not certain enough for it to be likely.

The republicans lost. The world isn't worth living in anymore. They need the godhead of their cult to come and take them away before they find out that not only will life go on, but it will start getting better. They simply can't have it.

[/sarcasm... not really]
Equating Christians with Republicans - how shockingly stupid of you.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif 'sup?

You owe me twelve bucks!

The only thing, besides the ever-present threat of asteroids, Yellowstone exploding, or nuclear war, out of the ordinary that would result in the end of the world is an experiment in creating a small artificial black hole that scientists are currently working on.

But the chances that it would last longer than a quarter of a nanosecond are about .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001

The republicans lost. The world isn't worth living in anymore. They need the godhead of their cult to come and take them away before they find out that not only will life go on, but it will start getting better. They simply can't have it.

[/sarcasm... not really]

Well, the thing is, they believed this before the Repubs lost. That's why they liked Bush. They believed that he was the guy to end the world and usher in the 1,000 years of Christ's rule.

The only thing, besides the ever-present threat of asteroids, Yellowstone exploding, or nuclear war, out of the ordinary that would result in the end of the world is an experiment in creating a small artificial black hole that scientists are currently working on.

But the chances that it would last longer than a quarter of a nanosecond are about .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001

Yeah, see, that's why playing around with that stuff on Planet Earth is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

It would explain the stars falling, though...

Well, the thing is, they believed this before the Repubs lost. That's why they liked Bush. They believed that he was the guy to end the world and usher in the 1,000 years of Christ's rule.

So what happens in 3,008?

Well actually 25% anticipate Jesus' return in 2007, that doesn't mean they are certain that 2007 is the year.
Yes it does mean expect, but it also has meanings that don't actually mean this year.
That poll question is vague and open to interpretation.


This however...
35 percent predict the military draft will be reinstated.

Ain't gonna happen.

I'd be interested to see the poll itself... the article doesn't mention the sample size, the wording of the questions, or how it was given. Even though it's Associated Press, it's hard to put much confidence in that.

According to journalism professors that I've had in the past, internet polls are essentially garbage anyway, even if they are entertaining. :)

"We received good news, the messiah has announced his second coming!But there are bad new as well"

"What kind of bad news?"

"He called from Clearwater."

Well, the thing is, they believed this before the Repubs lost. That's why they liked Bush. They believed that he was the guy to end the world and usher in the 1,000 years of Christ's rule.
Why do you persist in this lying and trolling? Christians are not the same as Republicans.

Well, I was told that the end of the world was said to happen in 2006. I'm still waiting. Maybe somehow I missed it? Or maybe the world has already ended, and this is hell? :eek:

But that would mean that the world ended at the same time that it started. Seeing as how we've been living in hell for the past 10,000 years. And before that, dinosaurs. And before that, whatever small microscopic life there was.

That's why any person with a mixture of beliefs of Hindu and Christian is right. I mean, after they die, they are reincarnated and sent to this world. For Christians, after they die, they go to hell. Conclusion? They're the same place...

Why do you persist in this lying and trolling? Christians are not the same as Republicans.

Yes, it's a fallacy. Republicans are almost all christians. However, this doesn't mean that christians are almost all republicans.

http://southparkruleslol.ytmnd.com/

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

Yes, it's totally flawed. Everyone knows the second coming is happening in 2012.

Sorry if this has been mentioned but 25% think they will meet Jesus and only 19% think they will see an alien.

It looks like 25% of America is going to be disapointted.

I thought doctrine was that he comes once (Rapture), THEN the Tribulation happens, then he comes again (Second Coming)...

He doesn't come in the rapture. The first coming was 2,000 years ago. In the rapture people vanish, then after 7 years Jesus comes back with big well-oiled rippling Rambo style muscles and kicks some ass proclaiming BLESSED ARE THE MEEK MUTHA FUCKAH.

...


That's all I have to say on the matter. This is just...wow.

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

:rolleyes:

I wasn't on the poll, as I wasn't 15 at the time. Apparently I'm one of the saner 75%.

And if Jesus really does come back this year, he'd better pimp-slap the 25% that do. :upyours:

America: Land of the free, home of the brave, asylum of the fundies... :headbang:

wow. i never new the bible belt made up that much of the countrys population.

wow. i never new the bible belt made up that much of the countrys population.

They don't. It's just that the Bible Belt doesn't have a monopoly on looniness in the U.S. ;)

Yes, it's totally flawed. Everyone knows the second coming is happening in 2012.

They have no patience. :p

I'd be interested to see the poll itself... the article doesn't mention the sample size, the wording of the questions, or how it was given. Even though it's Associated Press, it's hard to put much confidence in that.

According to journalism professors that I've had in the past, internet polls are essentially garbage anyway, even if they are entertaining. :)
It was a phone poll and they surveyed a mere 1000 people.

Sounds about right. Still better than the 20% who think that the Sun orbits the Earth.

Have you got a link to that? Nothing really surprises me any more, but... wow, again.

It was a phone poll and they surveyed a mere 1000 people.

Mere? 1,000 people is a pretty good sample size for a poll.

Yes, it's totally flawed. Everyone knows the second coming is happening in 2012.

What's wrong with 1844?

Heretic! Scripture clearly says that it's Mary who'll open the swinger bar to come a second time.
Jesus will be the club bouncer.

Am I the only one who thought this statement to be rather hilliarous?

Yeah, see, that's why playing around with that stuff on Planet Earth is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

It would explain the stars falling, though...

Oh, I agree.

Still, like I said, the chances of anything adverse happening are about the same as finding a pebble with George Washington's face carved on it in the Pacific Ocean...

This however...
35 percent predict the military draft will be reinstated.

Ain't gonna happen.

Not enough time. We're most likely getting a Democrat president who will ull out of Iraq immediately, so there will be no need for one in 2007.

Yes, it's a fallacy. Republicans are almost all christians. However, this doesn't mean that christians are almost all republicans.
Are Republicans really almost all Christians? There seems to be a strong atheist Republican faction on this forum at least.

The constant equating of Christians with far-right wing politics is getting quite tiresome, because it's not true. As a non-American, am I missing something? The Americans seem to forget about the millions of Christians who live in other countries, and who strongly oppose American policies.

How can "I'm not sure" even be an option on the poll? Either you believe something or you don't. I don't think it's possible to be unaware of whether you hold a particular belief.

Are Republicans really almost all Christians? There seems to be a strong atheist Republican faction on this forum at least.

The constant equating of Christians with far-right wing politics is getting quite tiresome, because it's not true. As a non-American, am I missing something? The Americans seem to forget about the millions of Christians who live in other countries, and who strongly oppose American policies.

Well american christianity is like american english

You owe me twelve bucks!

Chris Rock! :eek:

How can "I'm not sure" even be an option on the poll? Either you believe something or you don't. I don't think it's possible to be unaware of whether you hold a particular belief.

"I'm not sure", as in, Jesus may very well turn up in 2007 but they're not certain he will. They simply believe it's possible.

Who'd-a-thunk the son of God was into sloppy seconds?

Yes, it's totally flawed. Everyone knows the second coming is happening in 2012.

Isn't it the Mayans that "predicted" the end of the world date of December 21st, 2012 around 11AM GMT?

Not enough time. We're most likely getting a Democrat president who will ull out of Iraq immediately, so there will be no need for one in 2007.

There's going to be no presidential election in 2007. :p

As a Christian I hardly believe Jesus will return anytime soon, save if a bunch of demons are roaming about, and if he does within a real time of our lives it will be 2000 years after his ascension, not his birth, as his crucifixion, resurrection, and ascension are much more important in terms of the central theology then his birth.

25% of people are idiots

With every year comes 25% of the people thinking that this is finally the year for Christs return.

May they forever be dissapointed.

...:headbang:

Isn't it the Mayans that "predicted" the end of the world date of December 21st, 2012 around 11AM GMT?

yes. their calender ends there - it's when the sun officially enters the astrological age of aquarius, leaving the age of...I think we've been in the age of pisces. ever 10500 years or so it goes through one of these "precessional ages", and everybody who believes in astrology freaks the hell out. more than just the mayans predicted it, because it *is* an astronomical event, though the division of the sky into the various astrological signs is somewhat arbitrary, most ancient cultures had a similar belief. frankly if civilisation collapses I wouldn't be too horribly distraught. we're in need of a fresh start...though I doubt anything will happen, other than mass new ager suicides or something.

Are Republicans really almost all Christians? There seems to be a strong atheist Republican faction on this forum at least.

The constant equating of Christians with far-right wing politics is getting quite tiresome, because it's not true. As a non-American, am I missing something? The Americans seem to forget about the millions of Christians who live in other countries, and who strongly oppose American policies.

american "christianity" is as much a market phenominon as a religion. that sort of christianity is very much tied up in so-called "conservative" politics. actual christianity has little to nothing to do with that, but try telling that to the mass-market megachurch set and you'll be crucified.

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

0_o

I find it hard to believe, but I'm afraid to go asking around.

It was a phone poll and they surveyed a mere 1000 people.
And if you can guess, the people who have the most time to answer the phone, are ignorant Soccer moms, Conspiracy nuts, and old retired religious people.

All the normal people are WORKING, hence they don't answer stupid polls.

Isn't it the Mayans that "predicted" the end of the world date of December 21st, 2012 around 11AM GMT?

No. December 21st, 2012 is merely when the Mayan calendar starts over. No end of the world.

And if you can guess, the people who have the most time to answer the phone, are ignorant Soccer moms, Conspiracy nuts, and old retired religious people.

All the normal people are WORKING, hence they don't answer stupid polls.

Hey I'm none of those! Besides, the world ends in 2008, everyone rational person knows that.:rolleyes:

It will be in the form of a shower curtain...

Sorry had to make the joke...not sure what to say right now, tired...but that's interesting, never heard of this 25% dealy.

I would like to believe this poll (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061231/ap_on_re_us/2007_predictions_ap_poll) is flawed in some way. Counting only Americans aged 15 and above, this would mean that over 59 million Americans believe Jesus Christ will make a "second coming" within the next twelve months.

Well, you have to remember that there is a rather significant amount of "dull" people in the U.S.

And here's another depressing statistic:

27% of British people believe cancer is due to "fate" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6226117.stm), and that it has nothing to do with lifestyle.

That certainly makes me feel much better knowing Americans aren't the only slow ones. British are too, yay.

Mere? 1,000 people is a pretty good sample size for a poll.
Well this little country has 1000 people polls, surely America should do better?

And if you can guess, the people who have the most time to answer the phone, are ignorant Soccer moms, Conspiracy nuts, and old retired religious people.

All the normal people are WORKING, hence they don't answer stupid polls.
Yes, it said somewhere about the majority of doom-sayers were women.

And here's another depressing statistic:

27% of British people believe cancer is due to "fate" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6226117.stm), and that it has nothing to do with lifestyle.

not that suprised. Everyone i talk to who knows someone who's got cancer seems to repeat the same message "I'm soo suprised, he/she never smoked, excersied, ate healthy, etc...". While at the next table you've got an 80 year old chain smoker...

And here's another depressing statistic:

27% of British people believe cancer is due to "fate" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6226117.stm), and that it has nothing to do with lifestyle.

Thats not too bad. I mean 27%? not the majority and chance does play a large role.

I just can't believe the poll is anywhere near accurate. Look at these other stats from the article:

35 percent predict the military draft will be reinstated.
35 percent predict a cure for cancer will be found.

Either it is a hoax, a fake, or it was a niche demographic which was polled.

american "christianity" is as much a market phenominon as a religion. that sort of christianity is very much tied up in so-called "conservative" politics. actual christianity has little to nothing to do with that, but try telling that to the mass-market megachurch set and you'll be crucified.
Yes, I realise that. I think I remember a similar organisation in the New Testament.

No wonder blood is being spilt in the Middle East. Those extremists are in government positions also, pulling the strings to make things possible.

And here's another depressing statistic:

27% of British people believe cancer is due to "fate" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6226117.stm), and that it has nothing to do with lifestyle.

I guess America doesn't have a monopoly on stupidity.

Not enough time. We're most likely getting a Democrat president who will ull out of Iraq immediately, so there will be no need for one in 2007.
Indeed.
Republicans wouldn't have the President in the Whitehouse for maybe a generation if that happened.
However a Democrat could reinstate the Draft in the good name of peace.
Backing up the U.N.

What?
It could happen...

Is anyone else getting the feeling that evangelical christianity is beginning to look more and more like Heaven's Gate?

there was another poll not to long ago that showed something like 60%(I don't recall the exact %) of americans believe god gives them special protection vs other countries...

God
+ 5% vs. other countries
+ 3 to Burning Bushes

Yes, that makes sense.

You know, I wonder how much of an overlap there is between the 40% of the population under the control of that parasite and the 25% who believe this. Personally, I think 2007 will prove to be a relatively uneventful year, but I could be wrong.