NationStates Jolt Archive

I represent the order of the holy snipers :sniper: Our god is a vengeful one.

One that involves perpetual guilt. I was raised Catholic.

I represent the order of the holy snipers :sniper: Our god is a vengeful one.

that's a n00b religion. join the sith order.

I represent the order of the holy snipers :sniper: Our god is a vengeful one.

Every time you use a gun smilie God eats a Mexican baby. Please stop, we need Mexican babies to eat too.

Oh, and my religion involves worshipping me. A lot.

Every time you use a gun smilie God eats a Mexican baby. Please stop, we need Mexican babies to eat too.

Oh, and my religion involves worshipping me. A lot.

lol

A belief system based around Epicureanism.

I made a NS religion but the name needs changing.

I represent the order of the holy snipers :sniper: Our god is a vengeful one.

Mine will be the Order of Fluffles, and all its followers shall post fluffle spam incessantly and recognize Teh Holy Pancake and her fluffle spam.

:fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:

it would involve considering pudgy older women sacred and the eating of chocolate a religious necessity

I would teach a doctrine of strict individualism. The followers of my religion would be taught to become self-reliant and completely separate entities from their peers. I would also have some minimalism and asceticism mixed in.

A loose religious association that believed in a benevolent, omniscient, but not omnipotent deity, and valued study, compassion, and revolutionary libertarian communism.

Mine will be the Order of Fluffles, and all its followers shall post fluffle spam incessantly and recognize Teh Holy Pancake and her fluffle spam.

:fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:

now that is pure evil.

It would mix buddhism, shintoism and freezone-scientological beliefs (I like some ideas of them... only a few, but still) - oh, and the cargo-cult idea to worship God through eating well, getting drunk and sex.

Matrix makes much moore sense than the Bible so it would be somethink like in the Matrix. It's also much cooler to think that we are all a part of a large computer system and our main funtion is to produce energy than believing that we were created by a booring old man a couple of tousand years ago.

if you did make your own religion what would it be like?

I already have. Like it?

Matrix makes much moore sense than the Bible so it would be somethink like in the Matrix. It's also much cooler to think that we are all a part of a large computer system and our main funtion is to produce energy than believing that we were created by a booring old man a couple of tousand years ago.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moore#Geography

Moore?

Mine will be the Order of Fluffles, and all its followers shall post fluffle spam incessantly and recognize Teh Holy Pancake and her fluffle spam.

:fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:

That is my religion anyway :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: *worships Pancake*

it would involve considering pudgy older women sacred and the eating of chocolate a religious necessity

Can I have the chocolate factory franchise? Please. Please.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moore#Geography

Moore?

Buhu...

My church will worship transformers. Hail Megatron!

Mine would worship cheese puffs and gay pornos.

Mine would be a religion where salvation is obtained through wanton decadence and hedonism, with ritualistic orgies and lyseric sacraments.

with ritualistic orgies

I like that part.

that's a n00b religion. join the sith order.
One can never hope to understand the true power of the force bound to either the Jedi or Sith idiology.

Become a Pastafarian.:D

Mine would involve 27 hot virgin wimmins, but without the having to die and go to paradise first bit.

This is what my religion would like for starters:

Baha'is believe in the unity of all humankind, and therefore the unity of all religions. This means that Baha'i adherents believe that all religions teach the same truth. They therefore reject prejudice--racial, political, or otherwise--and stress ethical teachings such as world peace, education, and sexual equality. Although they believe that God is completely unknowable, they hold that God's presence and works are evident in the creation of the world and the existence of the prophets, among other things. Important Baha'i prophets include Adam, the Jewish prophets, Jesus, and Muhammed, all of whom have been succeeded by Baha'ullah, the founder of Baha'i.

Have you ever seen the movie, "Porky's"?

It'd be like that but with funny hats. :)

This is what my religion would like for starters:

Baha'is believe in the unity of all humankind, and therefore the unity of all religions. This means that Baha'i adherents believe that all religions teach the same truth. They therefore reject prejudice--racial, political, or otherwise--and stress ethical teachings such as world peace, education, and sexual equality. Although they believe that God is completely unknowable, they hold that God's presence and works are evident in the creation of the world and the existence of the prophets, among other things. Important Baha'i prophets include Adam, the Jewish prophets, Jesus, and Muhammed, all of whom have been succeeded by Baha'ullah, the founder of Baha'i.

Hey, you didn't make that up yourself! Cheater!

One that involves perpetual guilt. I was raised Catholic.

That's an interpretation of Catholicism I've never understood. To me, the sacrament of confession kinda alleviates the guilt. I guess I would have to be raised one and go to a Catholic school to understand, maybe.

Hey, you didn't make that up yourself! Cheater!

Maybe he did. How do you know he isn't Mr. Baha'ullah himself?

Maybe he did. How do you know he isn't Mr. Baha'ullah himself?

Baha'ullah would have a bigger post count.

Hey, you didn't make that up yourself! Cheater!

True i did not make it up myself. But it is what I believed before I found the Baha'i Faith. And no I am not Mr. Baha'u'llah Himself.

I've never thought of that. But I think it would involve real pizza being brought to Ireland.
And people would be encouraged to have good sex. *nods*

Other than that, just do what you like, just don't hurt anyone.

One can never hope to understand the true power of the force bound to either the Jedi or Sith idiology.

Become a Pastafarian.:D
so you ask me to believe that the unverse was made by spaghetti. okay. go to the railway tuneels below the Warsaw City Centre, through the tunnel opening, not the Station, and make sure no-one follows you. and don't even think of bringing a lightsabre.

Have you ever seen the movie, "Porky's"?

It'd be like that but with funny hats. :)

I haven't seen that movie.....

Would it be cooler with the funny hats? :confused:

I haven't seen that movie.....

Would it be cooler with the funny hats? :confused:

Everything's funnier with funny hats. :D

I've never thought of that. But I think it would involve real pizza being brought to Ireland.
And people would be encouraged to have good sex. *nods*

Other than that, just do what you like, just don't hurt anyone.
SexPizza-ism
I haven't seen that movie.....

Would it be cooler with the funny hats? :confused:

Everything is cooler with funny hats.

SexPizza-ism


Whatever floats your boat :D
Personally, I'd keep the pizza and the sex separate. Although, come to think of it, both are nice to have in bed.

We've got some good ideas here. Perhaps we could follow in the foot steps of good ol' L. Ron Hubbard and make it lucrative.

I haven't seen that movie.....

Would it be cooler with the funny hats? :confused:

Well, it give it a sense of religious legitimacy. If history has taught me one thing, it's that the funnier your hat, the holier you are. *nod* :)

although a crown of thorns does seem a bit excesive:p

my religion would be the worshipping of the big black nothingness of death and doing whatever the fuck one wants while still alive;)

The only mandatory think that my religion would have is "be good to your fellow man". Beyond that, there are no "commandments", and no punishments. If you do something "wrong" then you learn from it.

Whatever floats your boat :D
Personally, I'd keep the pizza and the sex separate. Although, come to think of it, both are nice to have in bed.

First one, then the other, without ever leaving the bed :)

First one, then the other, without ever leaving the bed :)

Then the first again, then the other again... I think that'll be the version of paradise that my religion would offer.

Well, it give it a sense of religious legitimacy. If history has taught me one thing, it's that the funnier your hat, the holier you are. *nod* :)

I was asking more about the movie than the hat thing. :p

I was asking more about the movie than the hat thing. :p

The movie is one of the funniest I've ever seen. I think it was the inspiration for more recent movies like 'American Pie'. *nod*

Just the opposite of anything Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson would want.

I already did. It's called givemeallyourmoneyism. The central, and only, tenet is that members must give me all their money.

I'll tell you when you start clapping with one hand.

I'd start a giant church where anyone of any religion was welcome to come in, and pray togethor in unity, in spite of their different beliefs, and peacefully debate in a sort of educated way.

It would be half-nihilistic, rather hedonistic, rather misanthropic, and be very, very weird, with twisted, intertwined, messy power hierarchies where some would be unconditionally obedient servants and some would be maniacally laughing masters, with many steps in between. Those hierarchies would not form normal ladders, but contain innumerable branches and circular chains reaching from top to bottom and back.

Maniacalness would be one of the most important virtues, though the primary one would be rationality. Yes, rationality. Not seemingly rational behavior, but an underlying mental system devoted to rationalism and pragmatism, void of faith. On top of that mental system, many weird things, including the cheerished principles of maniacal, would run. Like software on a computer.

Also, some basic ideas are expressed in my writings about one of the three elements (Fluffiness, Evilness and Holiness) here:
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Evilness
You can read the other two articles as well, but that's the most important one in this regard.

It might involve the men having to bring their w... ...on second thought, fuck that (which, incidentally, was also my first thought, only more literally). It would teach equality of people, forbid murder in its name. Throw in a bit of charity, and a judge-ye-not-clause that would prevent any laws based on my religion, and we're set, basically.

I'm still wondering if it should also include some way of making me rich, or if the fact there are people out there who consider me their prophet would be enough.

We believe that human sexual fluids have healing powers, and churches are gigantic sex frenzies held to coincide with the services of the religious building we're built next to. We build our churches right next to those of other religions, so the pastor/imam/priest/rabbi/whatever's sermon is interrupted by people moaning. We'll be called the Disruptutians, as we disrupt other's religious practices. After the sex, we all eat pancakes with maple syrup.


We make money by charging nonmembers 5.00 entry fee, and we also take "donations" from the place we're next to to keep it down.


Maybe I should get this religion a myspace page.

I commandeth this thread be bumped. Like ta hizzle.

Member of the TBD,CW,IISA church

Member of the TBD,CW,IISA church

The what?

I worship the god Entropy. There are no rules, no commandments.

I worship the god Entropy. There are no rules, no commandments.

That's an upbeat religion for yah!

Whatever it would be, I'd have to use George Carlin's condensed version of teh Ten Commandments.

1. Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of they nookie.

2. Thou shalt try really really hard not to kill anyone (unless they worship a different invisible man than you do).

I think it would be hard to top this (http://www.subgenius.com/)

so you ask me to believe that the unverse was made by spaghetti. okay. go to the railway tuneels below the Warsaw City Centre, through the tunnel opening, not the Station, and make sure no-one follows you. and don't even think of bringing a lightsabre.

It was a joke, you do understand that, right? Just like Pastafarianism itself is a very organised joke. And you were the one who brought up Star Wars, not me.

The what?


Cabra West,The Beautiful Darkness and me << church

I think it would be hard to top this (http://www.subgenius.com/)

Discordianism tops the Church of the Sub-Genius.

it would be called Waffleism on account of the amazing chocolate waffels we had earlier today. god they were gooooooooooooooood :D


that, or some religion based around having sex ;)


- PM (posting as HRH Glitzi)

I would remake Scientology and be rich, biotch.