Smunkeeville
29-12-2006, 17:31
so, it's about that time again........the time when we lie to ourselves about the new year
what's your resolution for 2007? do you make resolutions? have you ever kept one?
in case you need some help
Top 10 resolutions (to avoid!)
Many things, over the years, have become more significant to the average person than farming equipment, and New Year’s resolutions have reflected these attitude changes. For instance, here are the top 10 resolutions as determined by a recent poll:
• Spend more time with family and friends: It’s hard to imagine that people actually wish for this after having just spent a week or so with family over the Christmas break. Maybe this is one of those post-holiday depression death wishes you read about.
• Become physically fit: This is just delusional.
• Lose weight: Of course, if you lose 10 pounds now, you’ll put on 12 pounds later, and next year you’ll have to take those off before you gain 15. It’s a sort of dieting law of diminishing returns, only the returned weight isn’t diminished. In psychology, there’s a formal term for this phenomenon. It’s called “I’m Depressed, So Pass the Chocolate.”
• Stop smoking: This resolution can actually be traced back to Joan of Arc. It didn’t work for her, either.
• Stop drinking: I can stop drinking or I can spend more time with my family, but not both.
• Pay off debts: You should make this happen any way you can, even if you have to borrow money to do it.
• Learn something new: This one will be a snap for you. Hell, you’ve already learned that Awil-Marduk was Nebuchadrezzar’s son. Learning any more than that is just too damn pretentious.
• Help others: Come on, you got your hoe, plow and Jewish slaves back. What more do you want from me?
• Get organized: Shine your shoes. Put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Remember to take out the garbage. Don’t leave the lights on when you leave the room. Help with the vacuuming. Stop missing those deadlines. Quit dropping cigar ashes on the carpet. Murder your brother-in-law Awil-Marduk and take over the kingdom. Get your dirty feet off the sofa. Feed the dog. Where would you be if you didn’t have someone like me to remind you of these things?
• Enjoy life more: Right. More than what? We’re supposed to stop eating, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop buying stuff, stop being stupid, stop being selfish and start hanging out with our families … but get more enjoyment out of life. Personally, I’d rather just return your farming equipment.
http://www.okgazette.com/news/templates/cover.asp?articleid=1067&zoneid=7
I think this year I will write another book, and also film my movie now that the screen play is done.
and you?
what's your resolution for 2007? do you make resolutions? have you ever kept one?
in case you need some help
Top 10 resolutions (to avoid!)
Many things, over the years, have become more significant to the average person than farming equipment, and New Year’s resolutions have reflected these attitude changes. For instance, here are the top 10 resolutions as determined by a recent poll:
• Spend more time with family and friends: It’s hard to imagine that people actually wish for this after having just spent a week or so with family over the Christmas break. Maybe this is one of those post-holiday depression death wishes you read about.
• Become physically fit: This is just delusional.
• Lose weight: Of course, if you lose 10 pounds now, you’ll put on 12 pounds later, and next year you’ll have to take those off before you gain 15. It’s a sort of dieting law of diminishing returns, only the returned weight isn’t diminished. In psychology, there’s a formal term for this phenomenon. It’s called “I’m Depressed, So Pass the Chocolate.”
• Stop smoking: This resolution can actually be traced back to Joan of Arc. It didn’t work for her, either.
• Stop drinking: I can stop drinking or I can spend more time with my family, but not both.
• Pay off debts: You should make this happen any way you can, even if you have to borrow money to do it.
• Learn something new: This one will be a snap for you. Hell, you’ve already learned that Awil-Marduk was Nebuchadrezzar’s son. Learning any more than that is just too damn pretentious.
• Help others: Come on, you got your hoe, plow and Jewish slaves back. What more do you want from me?
• Get organized: Shine your shoes. Put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Remember to take out the garbage. Don’t leave the lights on when you leave the room. Help with the vacuuming. Stop missing those deadlines. Quit dropping cigar ashes on the carpet. Murder your brother-in-law Awil-Marduk and take over the kingdom. Get your dirty feet off the sofa. Feed the dog. Where would you be if you didn’t have someone like me to remind you of these things?
• Enjoy life more: Right. More than what? We’re supposed to stop eating, stop smoking, stop drinking, stop buying stuff, stop being stupid, stop being selfish and start hanging out with our families … but get more enjoyment out of life. Personally, I’d rather just return your farming equipment.
http://www.okgazette.com/news/templates/cover.asp?articleid=1067&zoneid=7
I think this year I will write another book, and also film my movie now that the screen play is done.
and you?