NationStates Jolt Archive


Muggings

DHomme
29-12-2006, 02:59
Once again chavs have attempted to mug me.

A group of 3 tried to jump me by a car park in loughborough yesterday evenin.

One of them jumped me and tried to push me to the ground, I grabbed him by the mouth to bring him down with me. Then the fucking bastard bit my hand. I have bite marks all over two of my fingers. We tussled on the ground for a bit, he told me he'd seen me buy some weed and they wanted it, while his two mates just stood by and did fuck all. A car drove past, stopped and beeped it's horn. They fucking pegged it, the dickhead who bit me dropped his hat, I grabbed it and went in the opposite direction.

Highly confusing and know the bite marks ache cos i've been in the cold smoking skunk.

You didn't think I'd let them get it did you? :D
Momomomomomo
29-12-2006, 03:00
Well, if you insist upon living in a place ending in 'borough'...
Call to power
29-12-2006, 03:04
Someone attacked you and your natural reaction was to put your hand in there mouth:p

oh, and now you will become a uber chav:D
DHomme
29-12-2006, 03:06
Someone attacked you and your natural reaction was to put your hand in there mouth:p

oh, and now you will become a uber chav:D

His big flapping mouth was the only thing that looked easy to grab with my one free arm
West Spartiala
29-12-2006, 03:08
Someone attacked you and your natural reaction was to put your hand in there mouth:p

oh, and now you will become a uber chav:D

Chavs are like vampires that way.
Call to power
29-12-2006, 03:08
His big flapping mouth was the only thing that looked easy to grab with my one free arm

...sounds like a gay novel extract
Fassigen
29-12-2006, 03:09
You were mugged (or subjected to an attempt thereto) in an area where you went to buy illegal drugs?

How odd.
DHomme
29-12-2006, 03:09
...sounds like a gay novel extract

At the time it felt just magical.
Pepe Dominguez
29-12-2006, 03:09
So, you went to buy drugs in a public park completely unarmed..? Not gonna say you asked for it, but.. well, didn't you?
Call to power
29-12-2006, 03:12
At the time it felt just magical.

his teeth gnawing on your tender flesh as you let out a groan (and you wonder why nobody joined in :p)

So, you went to buy drugs in a public park completely unarmed..? Not gonna say you asked for it, but.. well, didn't you?

Outside a church armed with a female is the best option *nods*
Dwarfstein
29-12-2006, 03:13
His big flapping mouth was the only thing that looked easy to grab with my one free arm

Youd better hope chavism isnt contagious.

I think the best way to deal with the chav problem would be to advertise a giveaway of free scratch-cards and cider and burberry goods on daytime tv, then put on the news and in all the papers except the sun star and sport that it is really a death camp and not a chav goods giveaway at all.

All the chavs will go to their deaths while all the proper people will be fine.

As you will see from my post in the capital punishment thread, I think attacking someone in the street is grounds for execution. Its not like chavs are really people.

Whats the collective noun for chavs anyway?
Bodies Without Organs
29-12-2006, 03:15
You didn't think I'd let them get it did you? :D

On the upside you now own a chav hat. Every cloud, and all that malarky.
Call to power
29-12-2006, 03:16
Whats the collective noun for chavs anyway?

early night...I'm such a skank :(
DHomme
29-12-2006, 04:35
So, you went to buy drugs in a public park completely unarmed..? Not gonna say you asked for it, but.. well, didn't you?

it wasn't a public park. And it's not worth 4 years in prison to carry a knife. Plus carrying a weapon has a tendency to escalate any situation.
Zarakon
29-12-2006, 04:37
it wasn't a public park. And it's not worth 4 years in prison to carry a knife. Plus carrying a weapon has a tendency to escalate any situation.


....


Why would carrying a knife get you four years in prison? Are you like the leader of a roman slave revolution or what?
Neo Kervoskia
29-12-2006, 04:39
When the revolution comes, please tell me they will be the first against the wall.
IL Ruffino
29-12-2006, 04:41
Mind checking that hat for hair?

I have a new hybrid idea..

*collects La Dame's nail clippings*
Lacadaemon
29-12-2006, 04:44
When the revolution comes, please tell me they will be the first against the wall.

Chav's vote - well if they voted it would be - labour. So I doubt it.

Anyway, I don't know what kind of middle class fantasy people live in. Chavism is a natural part of british society and has been since her majesty Good Queen Bess I. The only exception being the interwar period, where they were all dead from WWI, and the decade and a half after WWII, where national service swept them off the streets.

You just have to learn proper chav management, like they have in North Tyneside.
Kinda Sensible people
29-12-2006, 04:45
When the revolution comes, please tell me they will be the first against the wall.

But how can you punish people for stealing from people if everybody owns everything?

Me, I'm hoping to be the first one killed when the revolution hits, that way I don't have to live in the hellhole that comes after it.
Jello Biafra
29-12-2006, 14:09
Is this amount of crime representative of all of Britain?
Londim
29-12-2006, 14:17
Silly chavs. But I have good news for my brothers and sisters in the north. The South and some towns ( I'm looking at you Chatham) apologise for this inconvenience. However in the area where I live chavs seem to be a dying breed. So rejoice for their end is nigh!
New Populistania
29-12-2006, 14:21
You just have to learn proper chav management, like they have in North Tyneside.

Or like in the US, where they have over 2 million people in jail.
Andocha
29-12-2006, 14:27
Silly chavs. But I have good news for my brothers and sisters in the north. The South and some towns ( I'm looking at you Chatham) apologise for this inconvenience. However in the area where I live chavs seem to be a dying breed. So rejoice for their end is nigh!

Meh, northerners repeatedly tell me that we southerners corrupted their term 'charvas' or 'charv' into 'chav'. And they tell me that ones in the north are properly vicious and evil, and that the ones down south are big softies who are more bark than bite, trying to imitate their northern cousins.
And in any case I've heard it also came from Cheltenham rather than Chatham.
It's all a bit iffy for me - around where I went to school, they were always called pikeys or townies.
Pure Metal
29-12-2006, 14:28
Once again chavs have attempted to mug me.

A group of 3 tried to jump me by a car park in loughborough yesterday evenin.

One of them jumped me and tried to push me to the ground, I grabbed him by the mouth to bring him down with me. Then the fucking bastard bit my hand. I have bite marks all over two of my fingers. We tussled on the ground for a bit, he told me he'd seen me buy some weed and they wanted it, while his two mates just stood by and did fuck all. A car drove past, stopped and beeped it's horn. They fucking pegged it, the dickhead who bit me dropped his hat, I grabbed it and went in the opposite direction.

Highly confusing and know the bite marks ache cos i've been in the cold smoking skunk.

You didn't think I'd let them get it did you? :D

never let them get your green man!

(fucking bloody chavs...)
New Populistania
29-12-2006, 14:28
We get the problem here in Dublin as well. You have to be very careful in some areas, where muggings are endemic. When I worked in the Garda, I used to help train vigilantes in the correct way to arrest suspected thieves. Drugs are rife in Ireland and in cities like Dublin, Cork and Belfast they seem to be a part of normal part of life in many neighbourhoods.
Londim
29-12-2006, 14:30
Meh, northerners repeatedly tell me that we southerners corrupted their term 'charvas' or 'charv' into 'chav'. And they tell me that ones in the north are properly vicious and evil, and that the ones down south are big softies who are more bark than bite, trying to imitate their northern cousins.
And in any case I've heard it also came from Cheltenham rather than Chatham.
It's all a bit iffy for me - around where I went to school, they were always called pikeys or townies.

Silly northeners :p
Psychotic Mongooses
29-12-2006, 14:34
We get the problem here in Dublin as well. You have to be very careful in some areas, where muggings are endemic. When I worked in the Garda, I used to help train vigilantes in the correct way to arrest suspected thieves. Drugs are rife in Ireland and in cities like Dublin, Cork and Belfast they seem to be a part of normal part of life in many neighbourhoods.

I'm sorry, you did what?

Is that an organisation wide policy, or something that is hush-hush?
Nodinia
29-12-2006, 14:39
Once again chavs have attempted to mug me.

A group of 3 tried to jump me by a car park in loughborough yesterday evenin.

One of them jumped me and tried to push me to the ground, I grabbed him by the mouth to bring him down with me. Then the fucking bastard bit my hand. I have bite marks all over two of my fingers. We tussled on the ground for a bit, he told me he'd seen me buy some weed and they wanted it, while his two mates just stood by and did fuck all. A car drove past, stopped and beeped it's horn. They fucking pegged it, the dickhead who bit me dropped his hat, I grabbed it and went in the opposite direction.

Highly confusing and know the bite marks ache cos i've been in the cold smoking skunk.

You didn't think I'd let them get it did you? :D

If you feel an urge to but an insanely large expensive stereo in a poxy little car, or buy a cap with a pathetically longish brim, then you are infected. At all costs resist the urge to throw on a shell suit...otherwise the change is complete and naught can aid you.
Nodinia
29-12-2006, 14:44
We get the problem here in Dublin as well. You have to be very careful in some areas, where muggings are endemic. When I worked in the Garda, I used to help train vigilantes in the correct way to arrest suspected thieves. Drugs are rife in Ireland and in cities like Dublin, Cork and Belfast they seem to be a part of normal part of life in many neighbourhoods.


When you worked in the Gardai, or when you were a Garda you mean. I'm only aware of Vigilante groups operating under a rather different umbrella than that of the Gardai Siochanna. Please do elaborate.
Turquoise Days
29-12-2006, 14:45
Meh, northerners repeatedly tell me that we southerners corrupted their term 'charvas' or 'charv' into 'chav'. And they tell me that ones in the north are properly vicious and evil, and that the ones down south are big softies who are more bark than bite, trying to imitate their northern cousins.
And in any case I've heard it also came from Cheltenham rather than Chatham.
It's all a bit iffy for me - around where I went to school, they were always called pikeys or townies.

Silly northeners :p

Its true, too. Bunch of southern fairies. :p
The blessed Chris
29-12-2006, 14:51
Meh. Try Essex chavs. Gobby, loud and short to a degenerate:D

They tried to jump my friends and I outside of a travelling carnival. One of them did land a punch on me, but I've always felt being 6 foot 5 and 14 stone is an advantage...
Londim
29-12-2006, 14:54
Meh. Try Essex chavs. Gobby, loud and short to a degenerate:D

They tried to jump my friends and I outside of a travelling carnival. One of them did land a punch on me, but I've always felt being 6 foot 5 and 14 stone is an advantage...

Essex? You mean that weird place across the river?! I'm fine in Kent for the time being :p
Ifreann
29-12-2006, 14:54
We get the problem here in Dublin as well. You have to be very careful in some areas, where muggings are endemic. When I worked in the Garda, I used to help train vigilantes in the correct way to arrest suspected thieves. Drugs are rife in Ireland and in cities like Dublin, Cork and Belfast they seem to be a part of normal part of life in many neighbourhoods.

You what? How have I never heard of this?
Cabra West
29-12-2006, 14:57
You what? How have I never heard of this?

He was trying to convince me of that a while back... I think he's either a complete fake, or else he's never been to any big city before.
Bodies Without Organs
29-12-2006, 15:08
Drugs are rife in Ireland and in cities like Dublin, Cork and Belfast they seem to be a part of normal part of life in many neighbourhoods.

Actually Belfast is pretty low on drug use these days (ignoring marijuana): the hard drug problems seem to be concentrated in other cities in the North such as Ballymena - containing half the six counties' registered heroin addicts.
The blessed Chris
29-12-2006, 15:08
Essex? You mean that weird place across the river?! I'm fine in Kent for the time being :p

Its a shit hole. Colchester is bad enough, but I was in Southend last night with friends. Oh my dear god, its chavarama...

It might be my tight jeans, sweep hair and shoes, but I felt threatened.
Londim
29-12-2006, 15:48
Its a shit hole. Colchester is bad enough, but I was in Southend last night with friends. Oh my dear god, its chavarama...

It might be my tight jeans, sweep hair and shoes, but I felt threatened.

Aww poor Chris. Come to Kent where you'll be at home with your fellow tight jean wearing bretheren. I myself do not wear the jeans however I offer you our protection.:D
Eve Online
29-12-2006, 15:59
Someone attacked you and your natural reaction was to put your hand in there mouth:p

oh, and now you will become a uber chav:D

Chavism is transmitted by bite, just like rabies.
DHomme
29-12-2006, 17:10
....


Why would carrying a knife get you four years in prison? Are you like the leader of a roman slave revolution or what?

Maximum penalty for carrying an illegal weapon is pretty hefty. Look into it.
Jello Biafra
29-12-2006, 17:12
Maximum penalty for carrying an illegal weapon is pretty hefty. Look into it.We here on this side of the pond are confused as to why knives would be illegal, that's all.
Try carrying a beer bottle. Glass can cut.
Fartsniffage
29-12-2006, 17:15
We here on this side of the pond are confused as to why knives would be illegal, that's all.
Try carrying a beer bottle. Glass can cut.

Over here we also have laws prventing carrying offensive weapons and an empty bottle can easily be classed as one of those if you're searched. Might not get you real jail time but you'll definatly be looking at a night in the cells and a caution.
Andocha
29-12-2006, 17:17
We here on this side of the pond are confused as to why knives would be illegal, that's all.
Try carrying a beer bottle. Glass can cut.

Well knife violence is a big concern over here.
As an indicator of sorts:
http://search.bbc.co.uk/cgi-bin/search/results.pl?tab=all&go=homepage&q=stabbing&scope=all
The first ten pages of the search stretch back only to 1st November 2006
Jello Biafra
29-12-2006, 17:23
Over here we also have laws prventing carrying offensive weapons and an empty bottle can easily be classed as one of those if you're searched. Might not get you real jail time but you'll definatly be looking at a night in the cells and a caution.Hm. Perhaps DHomme needs to wear lots of pointy rings, then? Or is jewelry also considered to be an offensive weapon?

Well knife violence is a big concern over here.
Why is that, do you think?
Fartsniffage
29-12-2006, 17:31
Hm. Perhaps DHomme needs to wear lots of pointy rings, then? Or is jewelry also considered to be an offensive weapon?

I believe that such jewellery would simply be considered offensive ;) .

Laws here tend to be fairly openly worded on things like this, allowing the police latitude when dealing with people on the streets. I'm sure a copper could interpret the law to mean he could arrest you for the jewellery you were wearing even if he knew there would never be a conviction, just to get you off the street for a little while.
DHomme
29-12-2006, 17:31
Hm. Perhaps DHomme needs to wear lots of pointy rings, then? Or is jewelry also considered to be an offensive weapon?



I wear a chain and several studded items for just that reason, unfortunately I was jumped from behind so didn't have time to take one off.
Khadgar
29-12-2006, 17:36
Knives are illegal? How do ya'll skin things when ya go squirrel huntin?


Seriously though, around here almost everyone carries a knife, hell last job I worked it was practically a requirement.

Knives.. heh. Ya'll are weird.
Fartsniffage
29-12-2006, 17:42
Knives are illegal? How do ya'll skin things when ya go squirrel huntin?


Seriously though, around here almost everyone carries a knife, hell last job I worked it was practically a requirement.

Knives.. heh. Ya'll are weird.

You can carry a knife as long as it's shorter than 3 inches, not a lock knife and you can demonstrate a need for it.
Jello Biafra
29-12-2006, 17:44
Laws here tend to be fairly openly worded on things like this, allowing the police latitude when dealing with people on the streets. I'm sure a copper could interpret the law to mean he could arrest you for the jewellery you were wearing even if he knew there would never be a conviction, just to get you off the street for a little while.Do they have the right to search you for whatever reason, too?
Fartsniffage
29-12-2006, 17:49
Do they have the right to search you for whatever reason, too?

Under stop and search laws pretty much. The crime disturbing the peace covers such a wide area that the police can pretty much always say you're comitting it and stop you.
Jello Biafra
29-12-2006, 17:53
Under stop and search laws pretty much. The crime disturbing the peace covers such a wide area that the police can pretty much always say you're comitting it and stop you.That's creepy. I wonder if anyone has done a study correlating Britain today with Germany during the '30s?
Khadgar
29-12-2006, 17:53
You can carry a knife as long as it's shorter than 3 inches, not a lock knife and you can demonstrate a need for it.

Lock knife? I've got my grandfather's antique knife, it's about five inches long. Though a three inch knife would still be enough to do quite a lot of damage.
Fartsniffage
29-12-2006, 17:55
Lock knife? I've got my grandfather's antique knife, it's about five inches long. Though a three inch knife would still be enough to do quite a lot of damage.

A claspknife is a folding knife, strictly speaking one equipped with some means of holding the blade in the open position when in use, so that it cannot close accidentally on the user's fingers. The term tends to refer to a medium-sized to large knife, and implies a locking mechanism such as a twisting ring or catch that must be released in a distinct action before the knife can be folded, as opposed to the more usual sliding spring which requires only that a sufficient force be applied to the back of the knife in order for it to fold into the handle, and for which the term penknife is normally used. The term lock-knife or lockback knife also exists to make this distinction.

One of these.
Pax dei
29-12-2006, 18:30
When you worked in the Gardai, or when you were a Garda you mean. I'm only aware of Vigilante groups operating under a rather different umbrella than that of the Gardai Siochanna. Please do elaborate.
Or to give them their proper name ...Fucking Bastards.;)
Andocha
29-12-2006, 20:26
Why is that, do you think?

Why is it a concern?
The impression I get is that knife violence is more prevalent than other forms of weapon violence in the UK - one definitely hears of fatal stabbings rather than fatal shootings. And according to this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/5002128.stm), knife murders account for over half of all murders in Scotland.

Why people choose knives? I don't know. I haven't asked them.
We talk of America's 'gun culture' - we don't seem to have that here.
Drunk commies deleted
29-12-2006, 20:43
it wasn't a public park. And it's not worth 4 years in prison to carry a knife. Plus carrying a weapon has a tendency to escalate any situation.

4 years for carrying a knife? Shit, considering all the knives cops have confiscated from me and all the times they handed my knife back and let me go, if I had to do 4 years for each I'd have to serve well over thirty six years. That law is pretty fucked up.
Andaluciae
29-12-2006, 20:46
You were mugged (or subjected to an attempt thereto) in an area where you went to buy illegal drugs?

How odd.

What a shocker, ya know?
Lacadaemon
29-12-2006, 20:57
Meh, northerners repeatedly tell me that we southerners corrupted their term 'charvas' or 'charv' into 'chav'. And they tell me that ones in the north are properly vicious and evil, and that the ones down south are big softies who are more bark than bite, trying to imitate their northern cousins.
And in any case I've heard it also came from Cheltenham rather than Chatham.
It's all a bit iffy for me - around where I went to school, they were always called pikeys or townies.

In the north we have: Charvas, makems, monkeyhangers and kidfuckers (people from middlesborough). I grant that all are far, far, worse than the common or garden variety southern chav. However, years of experience in 'chav' management have taught us how to deal with the problem far more effectively than in the south. You chaps are just n00bs at chav management is all.
Pompous world
29-12-2006, 21:36
learn kung fu, then you can kick their asses
Greater Somalia
29-12-2006, 22:33
Either you got guts or no brains, and I'm surprised his buddies didn't jump you. I guess you didn't have the oppurtuntiy to think about the case scenerios (that and being high). I hope you can identify these criminals. What does chavs mean anyways?
Andocha
30-12-2006, 05:33
In the north we have: Charvas, makems, monkeyhangers and kidfuckers (people from middlesborough). I grant that all are far, far, worse than the common or garden variety southern chav. However, years of experience in 'chav' management have taught us how to deal with the problem far more effectively than in the south. You chaps are just n00bs at chav management is all.

If northern chavs or whatever are supposedly worse than southern ones, then they must be really bad. Some of the crap my bro, his friends and some of my friends have had to go through... and some of the (albeit tamer) things I've seen myself.

But anyway, I'm curious... what exactly constitutes effective 'chav management'? :p
Lacadaemon
30-12-2006, 05:49
But anyway, I'm curious... what exactly constitutes effective 'chav management'? :p

You have to be more like geordies, i.e. drunk and violent. It's hard to stand out as a chav when every other person is prepared to try and give you a good fucking hiding for just looking at him the wrong way, never mind gobbing off or talking shit.

The advice "just ignore them and they'll stop doing it" carries no weight on the tyneside.

Also, geordies travel in packs, making them doubly effective at chav control.
Lacadaemon
30-12-2006, 05:50
Also, all bouncers in Newcastle and Whitley Bay hate chavs and smoggies. So they are looking for an excuse to kick the piss out of either.