NationStates Jolt Archive

Pablo Escobar was a character. Not only was he a huge drug lord, a political player in Colombia, and a super rich playboy, he was also an animal lover. Since his death his pet hippos have escaped from his property, started breeding, and are now running wild in Colombia's rivers. I don't know if this will lead to some kind of environmental problem, like foreign species often cause in new environments, but it's certainly odd. Imagine if a bunch of hungry hippos get into someone's coca farm. A herd of coked up, paranoid hippos could be interesting.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06358/748352-82.stm

A herd of coked up, paranoid hippos could be interesting.Heh. As if non-coked hippos aren't ornery enough as is.

Hippos are very dangerous animals. Pity anyone who gets between a hippo on land and the water he's going back to.

Yeah, dangerous and they're standing in the way of redeveloping Escobar's property! Damn commie hippos!

Hippos are very dangerous animals. Pity anyone who gets between a hippo on land and the water he's going back to.

I know I heard that hippos kill more people in Africa than any lions or other big cats combined.

Those white marbles are a bit disturbing under this context.

:D

An original population of four hippos doesn't give a deep enough gene pool for survival past a few generations, generally. South America is in no danger of being hippopotamized.

An original population of four hippos doesn't give a deep enough gene pool for survival past a few generations, generally. South America is in no danger of being hippopotamized.

Says you. They might have access to Escobar's secret underground command center, and they're actively recruiting more of their brethren and sistern to stow away on jumbo cargo jets and ...

I like "hippopotamized"! :D

Since the extinction of the giant ground sloth crocs have been in need of a challenge.

Says you. They might have access to Escobar's secret underground command center, and they're actively recruiting more of their brethren and sistern to stow away on jumbo cargo jets and ...

I like "hippopotamized"! :D

Next thing you know, they'll offer their services to Shining Path in exchange for their own piece of Colombia.

It'll no longer be guerilla warfare, but Hippo Warfare.

Next thing you know, they'll offer their services to Shining Path in exchange for their own piece of Colombia.

It'll no longer be guerilla warfare, but Hippo Warfare.

Does the CIA know about this? Who's got Karl Rove's phone number? Think of the children!

Does the CIA know about this? Who's got Karl Rove's phone number? Think of the children!
How many children can be killed by a single hippo in an afternoon? Think of the children indeed!

How many children can be killed by a single hippo in an afternoon? Think of the children indeed!

Or, on the other hand, how many poor, undernourished Columbians waifs could be fed by one hippo, and for how long? Could be an opportunity here. Hippo ranching, anyone?

How many children can be killed by a single hippo in an afternoon? Think of the children indeed!

well How many can a Hippo eat

Or, on the other hand, how many poor, undernourished Columbians waifs could be fed by one hippo, and for how long? Could be an opportunity here. Hippo ranching, anyone?
Let's see... assuming that five pounds of raw hippo, when cooked and stripped of inedible portions, will feed one child for one day, and that the meat will keep for up to 15 days after slaughter with minimal storage... that's up to 80 kids for 15 days.

How many children can be killed by a single hippo in an afternoon? Think of the children indeed!

Bah! I bet I can kill more.

Bah! I bet I can kill more.

Are you out of deodorant again?

Are you out of deodorant again?

Yes :(

Ok but the question that w are forgetting to ask are the economic benefits of these hippo's. Now it's all fine and good to be all bleeding hearty and liberalish and try and figure out how many poor starving children these hippos can breed but keep in mind that these children represent a significant tax burden on the average Colombian tax payer. Wouldn't it be better to ask how many children it would take to feed a hippo?

Hippos kill more people every year then sharks do, and while they may be herbivores I think that they could be taught to eat meat. In this scenario everybody wins. The environmentalists are happy because the hippos don't die, the church is happy because the children will die at such a young age the will not have sufficient opportunity to sin enough to go to hell, the Colombian government is happy because there are fewer little street scum urchins to grow up and become criminals and the tax payers will be happy because they don't have to support a bunch of lazy well fare recipients who do nothing but crank out babies.

Just a few words to think about. Remember with your support and prayers and a little help from God we can ensure another four years for our dear President. Sure some Lilly lived liberal wind bags will complain about the "Constitution" but hey! That's never stopped us before!

I was expecting a thread about Oprah.

Ok but the question that w are forgetting to ask are the economic benefits of these hippo's. Now it's all fine and good to be all bleeding hearty and liberalish and try and figure out how many poor starving children these hippos can breed but keep in mind that these children represent a significant tax burden on the average Colombian tax payer. Wouldn't it be better to ask how many children it would take to feed a hippo?

Hippos kill more people every year then sharks do, and while they may be herbivores I think that they could be taught to eat meat. In this scenario everybody wins. The environmentalists are happy because the hippos don't die, the church is happy because the children will die at such a young age the will not have sufficient opportunity to sin enough to go to hell, the Colombian government is happy because there are fewer little street scum urchins to grow up and become criminals and the tax payers will be happy because they don't have to support a bunch of lazy well fare recipients who do nothing but crank out babies.

Just a few words to think about. Remember with your support and prayers and a little help from God we can ensure another four years for our dear President. Sure some Lilly lived liberal wind bags will complain about the "Constitution" but hey! That's never stopped us before!

Hmm, what you say has merit, stranger. We will have to think upon this.

I like "hippopotamized"! :D

Seconded. :)

ah - and i thought you were referring to christmas dinner...