NationStates Jolt Archive

By populaar demand, I'm thinking about writing a holy book of Nationstates General. It's going to be similar to the Bible, only slightly different.

Oh yeah, and whoever's got a link to the NSG Commandments, post here.
Everyone who wants to write a book, can. You can write a book of your own experiences here, or whatever you like. I shall write the Book of Pancake.

:)

Look to my sig, and click upon OBEY. There...you will find what you are looking for...

will this book have the time when you married those in your sig

By populaar demand, I'm thinking about writing a holy book of Nationstates General. It's going to be similar to the Bible, only slightly different.

Oh yeah, and whoever's got a link to the NSG Commandments, post here.
Everyone who wants to write a book, can. You can write a book of your own experiences here, or whatever you like. I shall write the Book of Pancake.

:)

Just make sure you get the approval of the NS pope. Dont want to get on DCD's bad side. ;)

1.1 In the beginning was the word and the word was '404 Error. Cannot find http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewforum.php'.

1.1 In the beginning was the word and the word was '404 Error. Cannot find http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewforum.php'.

Amen

Amen

Feel free to amend it with the correct text from when the original server was on the blink. Selah.

And then, the sun rose a on a gray background with black text in the sky. And there was Jolt.

And Max did look upon the website, and saith "It is good." then He saith, "Lo, for we have made this website, and now let us make players in our own image", and he did so, and the Mods and the host of Admins sang his praises.

And Max did look upon the website, and saith "It is good." then He saith, "Lo, for we have made this website, and now let us make players in our own image", and he did so, and the Mods and the host of Admins sang his praises.

Historical inaccuracy: the creation of the players occured long before the creation of the mods.

And then came the Mods, and they proclaimed, "Those who live by trolling/flaming shall die by the Mod.", especially Frisbeeteria.

It's going to be similar to the Bible, only slightly different.

LOL you won me over. Fine, I shall buy your book when it comes out.

Historical inaccuracy: the creation of the players occured long before the creation of the mods.

It's not a holy book without historical inaccuracies.

And Max looked down upon his creations and said "Lo, a great forum has been given unto thee, forsake it not." And upon hearing the words of the creator the breasts of his disciples filled with joy and his enemies fled in fear, and there twas much rejoicing in the land of NSG.

And Max looked down upon his creations and said "Lo, a great forum has been given unto thee, forsake it not." And upon hearing the words of the creator the breasts of his disciples filled with joy and his enemies fled in fear, and there twas much rejoicing in the land of NSG.
I thought Jolt was some kind of punishment?

All I know is that your book should contain the following truth:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif
NationStates is like Hotel California:
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...

I thought Jolt was some kind of punishment?

You mustn't have seen the old server:

This thread is 12 pages long.

Go to last page: Page 8

It couldn't even count.

All I know is that your book should contain the following truth:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif
NationStates is like Hotel California:
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...

That's so true.

And then, a chat window appeared in the sky, and there was Gabbly.

And Rhaomi sang its praises to the world, and much rejoicing occured in NSG.

And then, a chat window appeared in the sky, and there was Gabbly.

And Rhaomi sang its praises to the world, and much rejoicing occured in NSG.

Too much rejoicing, not enough getting your arse over there I say.

And in that chat window, there was nothing.

Until some pioneers (Looking at you, Free Shepmagans) went out and filled the window with text.

However, there was evil in the land, this evil were called Trolls and flamers. These evil entities but had one purpose, to ruin the holy land of NSG.

The holy text of NSG has to have a prime antagonist. I don't think we have one, trolls and the like eventually get banned so i don't know who could fill the slot.

*thinks on the matter*

The holy text of NSG has to have a prime antagonist. I don't think we have one, trolls and the like eventually get banned so i don't know who could fill the slot.

*thinks on the matter*
LG. It's NS vs. LG.

LG. It's NS vs. LG.
But everyone loves LG!
I think a Forum Satan exists, the master puppeteer behind all the trolls, trying to tempt us to feed them.

But everyone loves LG!
I think a Forum Satan exists, the master puppeteer behind all the trolls, trying to tempt us to feed them.
Exactly, that's why LG is satan. He's disguised.

>.>
<.<

Exactly, that's why LG is satan. He's disguised.

>.>
<.<
Come to think of it, I do remember comparing his kids to the kid from the Omen... :eek:
Okay, maybe you're right...

Come to think of it, I do remember comparing his kids to the kid from the Omen... :eek:
Okay, maybe you're right...
I'm always right.

I'm always right.

*leaves this alone*

.....





;)

Okay, look, if we're going to create a holy book, could we at least NOT parody the freakin' Bible?! That is so overdone that such parodies make me literally sick to my stomach. Do the Qu'ran, the Torah, or one of the other many holy books, PLEASE.

Speaking of holy books ... who's first dibs on the incest, UFO visits, absurd circumstances, bloody pointless battles and people that seem like prophets but really are just answering the wrong threads?

...and...
don't forget The Replacement Jesus. ;)

All I know is that your book should contain the following truth:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/JesusShades.gif
NationStates is like Hotel California:
You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave...

mm i will place a ? on that

Too much rejoicing, not enough getting your arse over there I say.

No joke. No one is ever on it. Ever.

No joke. No one is ever on it. Ever.

i have given up trying at my end as my PC don't like it no more

i have given up trying at my end as my PC don't like it no more

Dial-up?

Dial-up?

no shit modem it like's to cut me off when it feel's like
and i'am going to send it back and wait for a new one, as i guess it would be a week or more with out the net and i'am not going through that again after my other PC die

Memoirs of a Generalite is the best thread like this so far.

Anyways, I'm on gabby right now.

This one:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=470298

Hear ye, hear ye, the word of the LORD.

If thou findest a thread that hath pass'd a score pages, then ye shall pass by the first and not stop 'till ye haveth reached the last. Verily, I say unto thee, thou shalt find it Spammed, and the Spam shall be good. Do not post, lest ye forfeit what sanity ye may retain.

Assuredly, such a post will add to the glory of thine bountiful Postcount, but beware as ye may feel the Wrath of the LORD and suffer upon thine head the anger and righteous indignation of a thousand primate-clad Spammers armed with plugs of Cotton.

Such is the will and the word of the LORD.

You mustn't have seen the old server:

This thread is 12 pages long.

Go to last page: Page 8

It couldn't even count.
LOL, all those days i could have wasted waiting to post on NS.

Memoirs of a Generalite is the best thread like this so far.

Anyways, I'm on gabby right now.
Gabby aye?
What is she like?
Is she any good?
Where did you find her?
:p ;)

mm i will place a ? on that
Mmh - no?

It's been proven time and again. Those who do not return are banned. Those who leave voluntarily return.

Mmh - no?

It's been proven time and again. Those who do not return are banned. Those who leave voluntarily return.
More so for people that advertise their departure than those who don't.

Mmh - no?

It's been proven time and again. Those who do not return are banned. Those who leave voluntarily return.

not if i get into the army

Mmh - no?

It's been proven time and again. Those who do not return are banned. Those who leave voluntarily return.
And many who were banned return as well - Fass, for example.

Look, if you guys are gonna have a Genesis-type story, stick to the scientifically proven facts.

Like that the first post on Jolt was (avert thy eyes!): http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=338381

Oooh, ooh, I'm gonna write the Book of Ragnarok!

does it realy need a holy book?

does it realy need a holy book?

Yes. Clearly.

Look, if you guys are gonna have a Genesis-type story, stick to the scientifically proven facts.

Like that the first post on Jolt was (avert thy eyes!): http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=338381

wow. mods acting like n00bs. I thought I would never see something like that.

Historical inaccuracy: the creation of the players occured long before the creation of the mods.

thats the point. look at the Bible, the Koran, etc. they all contain historical inaccuracies. loads them even.

wow. mods acting like n00bs. I thought I would never see something like that.

Everyone was a noob once.

Everyone was a noob once.

but they already had mod powers at that time, i could see because of the posting past a lock.

but they already had mod powers at that time, i could see because of the posting past a lock.

If the mods were that nooby imagine what the noobs were like.

Look, if you guys are gonna have a Genesis-type story, stick to the scientifically proven facts.

Like that the first post on Jolt was (avert thy eyes!): http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=338381

In the beggining there was the word, and the word was:

Yay moddy powers! I WIN! :D

?

In the beggining there was the word, and the word was:

?
Nope. In the beginning there was the word, and the word was Myrth.

But then there was trouble, in the form of the trolls, and their king, MeansToAnEnd, his right-hand man RealAmerica, and his commander, The Redemption Army.

And they forsaketh the forum, and the mods came down in great fury.

I think that this would work for a great passage in the NSG Holy Book

I saw when The Mod opened the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake. The light became black as sackclothair, and the whole monitor became as blood.

The computer tower fell to the earth, like a fig tree dropping its unripe figs when it is shaken by a great wind.

The ceiling was removed like a scroll when it is rolled up. Every trinket and object were moved out of their places.

The spammers, the trolls, the puppet masters, the sock puppets, the 1337, and every noob and gamer, hid themselves in the closets and in the dirty laundry hampers

They told the hanging coats and the dirty laundry, "Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Mods,

Okay, look, if we're going to create a holy book, could we at least NOT parody the freakin' Bible?! That is so overdone that such parodies make me literally sick to my stomach. Do the Qu'ran, the Torah, or one of the other many holy books, PLEASE.

OK, how's this?


Those who break the covenant of Nationstates after ratifying it, and sever that which Max ordered to be joined, and (who) make mischief in the forums: Those are they who are the trolls.

Those who break the covenant of Nationstates after ratifying it, and sever that which Max ordered to be joined, and (who) make mischief in the forums: Those are they who are the trolls.

Chief among them were their king, MeansToAnEnd, his right-hand man RealAmerica, and his commander, The Redemption Army. They spewed crap throughout the world, yet did not provoke the wrath of Mod. However, swiftly as they came, they either disappeared or were given the Holy DEAT.

Okay, okay, as I promised... The Book of Pancake! (it's in 3rd person, like the rest of the Bible)
And in the early months of 2006 came a young girl by the nation name Darknovae. She was a very liberal Christian and the perfect noob.

However by the summer the unholy n00bishness had worn off and this young person girl had 400 posts. And many old-timers confused her for a guy, which angered Darknovae. Darknovae then decided to make a poll, and asked, "Am I more masculine, or feminine?" Verily, she also put the joke option of "Pancake" and every other poster chose "Pancake". Darknovae looked upon this and was angered. "Why dost thou think I am a guy?" she asked. "Why dost thou say I am a Pancake?" Her anger left an imprint on her NSG reputation, and thus she became known as the Pancake of NationStates General.

Soon Darknovae, or Pancake as she was now called, became known for her abstinence-class threads and her incessant bandgeekery. In the latest months of 2006 she soon racked up a righteous postcount of 2000, thus ending her n00bhood. She became a hippy and a fluffler, floating around NSG spreading beautiful and holy fluffle spam and becoming the Pope of Gabbly and the youngest member of a NSG polygamist sect.

Needs work...

In the beggining there was the word, and the word was:
Yay moddy powers! I WIN! :D
?
I laughed. Hard.

That needs to go in there.

Okay, okay, as I promised... The Book of Pancake! (it's in 3rd person, like the rest of the Bible)


Needs work...
I agree, it still reeks of n00B.:p
I don't mean that.;)




I joined NS nigh on 2 months after the move to Jolt.
The first post always made me laugh.

I agree, it still reeks of n00B.:p
I don't mean that.;)




I joined NS nigh on 2 months after the move to Jolt.
The first post always made me laugh.

i can't recall my first post

i can't recall my first post
It was about Zomdies, quite possibably Flesh eating Zomdies.
You don't have to thank me now, or later for that matter.;)
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10383084&postcount=23

It was about Zomdies, quite possibably Flesh eating Zomdies.
You don't have to thank me now, or later for that matter.;)
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10383084&postcount=23

if it was it, i'am happy i did not use the smile gun face's like they do now

if it was it, i'am happy i did not use the smile gun face's like they do now

I don't remember my first post either.

I don't remember my first post either.
Hmm. That's not going to work out, it is a violation of the first amendment. I, like the state of Missouri, am Christian. But just because I'm happy to see that more people are Christian doesn't mean that I'm totally on Missouri's side. People are going to get quite angry.

And people are acting as if this will be in US law, it's not for federal consideration, it's just for Missouri, not any other state (that I know of.. North Carolina's definitely not doing that!):rolleyes:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10621349&postcount=128

Just make sure you get the approval of the NS pope. Dont want to get on DCD's bad side. ;)

I give my official permission. Pluss I'm issuing a papal bull.
http://i13.tinypic.com/43df8e1.jpg

I give my official permission. Pluss I'm issuing a papal bull.
http://i13.tinypic.com/43df8e1.jpg

that bull is a piss head,me like :D

My Book of Ragnarok isn't finished yet. Possibly because I haven't started it yet.
>.>
<.<

ok, but we need a ten commandments.

maybe I will put in in the book of random hyjackings.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10621349&postcount=128

:eek:

Wow.... I was still Christian then..... :eek:

By populaar demand, I'm thinking about writing a holy book of Nationstates General. It's going to be similar to the Bible, only slightly different.

Oh yeah, and whoever's got a link to the NSG Commandments, post here.
Everyone who wants to write a book, can. You can write a book of your own experiences here, or whatever you like. I shall write the Book of Pancake.

:)

Hah! I started two bibles in my time here but I can't find the first one :(

http://forums3.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=427598

... nevermind. For what it's worth, this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8564562&postcount=250) was my first post with Czardas. Reporting an issue error and being a grammar nazi. Aye, great things were destined for me from the start. :p

And, OP, it's been done about a trillion times. (Also, why does Darknovae get her own book? I demand that I get at least one, too! And I should be constantly referred to in all caps, followed by the word "pbuh" in parentheses!)

how do you search for posts so far back? i can only get my last hundred when i do a search.

... nevermind. For what it's worth, this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8564562&postcount=250) was my first post with Czardas. Reporting an issue error and being a grammar nazi. Aye, great things were destined for me from the start. :p

And, OP, it's been done about a trillion times. (Also, why does Darknovae get her own book? I demand that I get at least one, too! And I should be constantly referred to in all caps, followed by the word "pbuh" in parentheses!)

I obviously have a higher score than you, as my first post was almost a full page long, dealing with various posters (mostly VoteEarly) on the subject of the necessity of marriage.

I also have more total posts than you (nearing 15,000), so there. :p

I obviously have a higher score than you, as my first post was almost a full page long, dealing with various posters (mostly VoteEarly) on the subject of the necessity of marriage.
Note that Czardas was not my first nation. :p (Although my first post overall was probably a RP post or something no-one cares about, but meh.)


I also have more total posts than you (nearing 15,000), so there. :p
Damn. Beat me out by 2000. Then again, all of my posts are quality posts.... well most of them.... on occasions... oh, you know what i mean.

Note that Czardas was not my first nation. :p (Although my first post overall was probably a RP post or something no-one cares about, but meh.)


Damn. Beat me out by 2000. Then again, all of my posts are quality posts.... well most of them.... on occasions... oh, you know what i mean.

1: I never dealt with the RP nonsense. I came here for General, and I stayed. I posted once or twice on Jolt's default forums, but those posts were nothing substantial.

2: Yeah, and that's what makes it all the sadder. :D

how do you search for posts so far back? i can only get my last hundred when i do a search.

That's what I'd like to know. There must be some way to find posts other than your last 100...

1: I never dealt with the RP nonsense. I came here for General, and I stayed. I posted once or twice on Jolt's default forums, but those posts were nothing substantial.

2: Yeah, and that's what makes it all the sadder. :D

1: Meh.

2: Meh.

3: +1.

<.< /hides from deation

:eek:

Wow.... I was still Christian then..... :eek:

This is the oldest post of mine I could find.


20-06-2005, 1:57 PM #1
Maineiacs
Ph33rs0m3 Sp@mm3r


Join Date: May 2005
Location: Well, my nation is called Maineiacs, so draw your own conclusion
Posts: 3,544 What's the deal with the government types?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is there some link that explains the different government types used on the site? Some are obvious, but what, for example, is a "Left-leaning College State"?

:eek:

Wow.... I was still Christian then..... :eek:
And you are Christian no more because, Jesus ain't cool no more?

Bummer. Searching my posts only takes me back to Nov 18, 2006. I could probably look at the earliest threads and find some from 2003/4, but alas, my first post is long gone to the abyss of history.

Oh, and wehn you all get around to writing the NSG bible equivalent of Revelations, don't forget to include good old me.:D

Bummer. Searching my posts only takes me back to Nov 18, 2006. I could probably look at the earliest threads and find some from 2003/4, but alas, my first post is long gone to the abyss of history.

Oh, and wehn you all get around to writing the NSG bible equivalent of Revelations, don't forget to include good old me.:D

:eek:

:eek:

Why :eek: ?

Why :eek: ?

we need a book just for you :)

we need a book just for you :)

I'm flattered, but isn't his supposed to be a holy book?:cool:

I'm flattered, but isn't his supposed to be a holy book?:cool:

Holy book of Big Jim P ,Holy book of Pancake the list goes on

Holy book of Big Jim P ,Holy book of Pancake the list goes on

The Holy book of Big Jim P. I like the sound of that.

*begins plotting to form his own cult*

:D

:cool:

how do you search for posts so far back? i can only get my last hundred when i do a search.
i think vodka that strong is meant to be diluted. We sell this polish vodka at work which is 79% and even says in big letters "rectified spirit' in english on it which we sell straight. but my mate that i work with who's polish says in poland they'd dilute that with water and then either mix it with beer or just drink it with the water. strongest drink ive ever had straight was zibanir in cyprus which is a clear spirit made from grapes and its 65% - its got some other shit in it which means its illegal - but anyway i drank a whole bottle of that in about three hours and im still alive* so i reckon a shot of high % vodka will do no harm.

*i did feel like i was going to die the next day and i had numerous injuries i dont remember getting but no long term effects :D
Maybe you were drunk? :p

That's what I'd like to know. There must be some way to find posts other than your last 100...
It Second Amendment was written because in 1789 the country was a much more dangerous place with Indian attacks and no kind of army or police force to speak of. Things are different now, with no need for privately owned weaponry, except for hunting. Owning a handgun is unneeded nevermind automatic weapons or somehing even more powerful. With the murder rate with firearms in the U.S. it is irresponsible to continue to allow guns to be legal. This will never happen but hopefully Kerry will be elected and will at least bring back the assault weapons ban.
There is, you know ;)

This is the oldest post of mine I could find.
I consider myself a Christian, but with a lot of unorthodox beliefs. Ex: I don't believe in "the Devil". I think evil is something in human nature, not because of some supernatural temptor. It's the ultimate cop-out to blame one's own faults on "The Devil made me do it". I also don't believe in eternal damnation. I know some of you will disagree, but I'd appreciate not being flamed for this post. After all, my beliefs are a win-win situation for evangelicals. If they're right and I'm wrong, they're going to heaven, I'm going to hell: they win. If I'm right and they're wrong, we're all going to heaven, there is no hell: they still win.

"Jesus was alright, but his followers were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me." -- John Lennon
A John Lennon quote in your first post even? Fascinating :)

Bummer. Searching my posts only takes me back to Nov 18, 2006. I could probably look at the earliest threads and find some from 2003/4, but alas, my first post is long gone to the abyss of history.
I am god therfore I believe in myself.

Jim SC
Oh, so little has changed... ;) :p

The Holy book of Big Jim P. I like the sound of that.

*begins plotting to form his own cult*

:D

:cool:

:eek: i made a monster

then again facing a pissed off wife is er yer

Oh, so little has changed... ;) :p

:eek: Damn, I haven't used the "Jim SC" sig in years! Thats still not my first post though.

*Oh, and I still believe I am God, and I still can't type for shit.:D *

Here is the Book of Random Hyjackings. complete with historical inaccuracies, sorry, no 10 commandments.

In the dark night, when the forum was quiet, an evil troll started a thread, saying that everyone who deos not follow christ should convert. However, most people on NSG knew the truth about that evil religion, and told him that his arguments were false, and just because something is written in a book does not mean that it is a fact.

While it was thought that the battle would contininue forever, and that the gods would eventually smite the thread, a miracle happened on page 5. An average genaralite joked that there is a wizard school in the english countryside, like it was said in the harry potter books. with the person believing everything, a sith lord using the forum told the people of the thread about a sith base in the city of Warsaw. After this, the thread collapsed off the main topic, with the OP's tyrannical rule of the thread coming to an end.

Eventually, the sith base was found and invaded, although the sith lord who posted the location had escaped, and it is believed that he is still posting on NSG, or at least lurking, quietly reading every message.

However, after the people who had helped the thread fall off the main topic were gone, invading the sith base, then having a celebration there, the original poster regained control of the now massive thread, and coninued to terrorise anyone who disagreed with him. The people who helped the collapse were not happy about this, and tried to invade the thread a second time.

When the gods saw this fighting, they ware not happy. the thread was sunk to bottom of the deepest sea, and the fate of the people who posted there is unknown, although they still seem to be posting on NSG

And you are Christian no more because, Jesus ain't cool no more?

Naw, Jesus still pwns. I just realized that the religion was full of BS and that everything Christians stood for, their Saviour didn't.

Here is the Book of Random Hyjackings. complete with historical inaccuracies, sorry, no 10 commandments.
:D
*gives you a cookie*

:eek: Damn, I haven't used the "Jim SC" sig in years! Thats still not my first post though.

*Oh, and I still believe I am God, and I still can't type for shit.:D *

Jolt says it is ;)

Maybe your first post was on the old slow servers? Verily, those are lost in the mists of time :)