NationStates Jolt Archive


I don't know what to do.

Chandelier
14-12-2006, 19:38
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

Edit:
My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)
UpwardThrust
14-12-2006, 19:40
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

You will be fine ... if you stress about your grades this much in high school you may want to evaluate your choice to go to collage ...
Vetalia
14-12-2006, 19:40
Hey, look at it this way: I'm an honors student in college and I failed math. I don't care, though, because I realize that one bad grade isn't going to do a lot to my GPA and it'll be erased in another quarter or two.

And an 88.98 isn't bad by any stretch...my God, I wish I did well enough in school to actually be concerned about a B+.
Curious Inquiry
14-12-2006, 19:41
One of the grades of which I am most proud was a B. 2nd highest grade in the class. Remember it's about the knowledge, not the grade ;)
IL Ruffino
14-12-2006, 19:41
And here I am.. begging for a 70 in Government..
Eve Online
14-12-2006, 19:41
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

Have a seat.

It's not the end of the world - nor is it some bone crushing awful thing.

Your life is not over.
Colleges are still going to accept you.
You are more than your grades.


In fact, you are always going to be more than your studies, more than what you wear, more than what you do for a living, more than who you know.

You are at the beginning of a very great adventure - you're just getting started.

Take a deep breath, get something to eat and drink, and have a nap.
Call to power
14-12-2006, 19:42
I never got higher than a B in school so I have no idea what your upset about

Though you do have my sympathy if grades are all you have…
Drunk commies deleted
14-12-2006, 19:43
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

You should totally take an AK47 to school, shoot it into the ceiling and when you've got everyone's attention shoot yourself. Obviously I'm not advocating this course of action. Just in case you're too upset over your B to tell the difference.

Or maybe you could chill out and realize that a B in AP Chem actually will look good on a college application. You're totally overreacting and being a big baby about this.
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 19:43
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

Lots of deep breaths, maybe into and out of a paper bag. That's supposed to work for the anxiety attack. The Chemistry grade, well ... I can't decide if I should start in on all the platitudes I'm sure you've already heard, or just say that I personally would never want to be associated with anyone who got less than 90 in AP Chemistry. :p No, really, Chandelier, you are not your grades, know what I mean? Colleges will consider you, your life is not over. Really. Look at it this way, in 40 years or so, when you're about my age, everyone will be working for WalMart, K-Mart, or some other big box store, or for the Government, so your AP Chem grade doesn't really mean that much. :cool:
[NS]Trilby63
14-12-2006, 19:44
You need weed.
JuNii
14-12-2006, 19:45
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.
Take a deep breath... Calm Down...

It's not the end of the world. a little bump only shows that you are taking challanging courses. Colleges are a little forgiving.

you still have the next semester.
Morganatron
14-12-2006, 19:45
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

A B in AP Chemistry, to me, is fantastic!

Don't worry too much. If it's bothering you this bad, concentrate on improving your grade.

Colleges (in my experience) are more concerned with the AP test score rather than your grade in the class.
Rameria
14-12-2006, 19:45
Relax. Take a deep breath. Your life is not over and no one is going to hate you. Colleges are likely going to fall all over themselves to accept you if you're this worried about a B (assuming you also have extracurriculars and all that other stuff).

Seriously, don't stress so much about this. One B isn't going to kill you.
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 19:46
You will be fine ... if you stress about your grades this much in high school you may want to evaluate your choice to go to collage ...

It's just...I was so close. I could have gotten straight A's all through high school. That's been my goal for a long time. If I had gotten just two more questions right on the semester exam, I would have had an A, since I had a 93% in both quarters. But I think that colleges only see the semester grade, don't they? So they'll just see the B and think that I'm a slacker or that I'm not smart.

And everyone else will hate me now, too, because I've always gotten straight A's before and they expect it.
Eve Online
14-12-2006, 19:47
You just had a near-life experience, that's all.
Luipaard
14-12-2006, 19:47
Its horrid when you get a B for the first time i know, but as soon as you have a higher qualification no-one sees it any more.
Also, you dont need just grades to have self asteem, you are more than just a machine to think. Why dont you try making a list about whats good about you?
Andaluciae
14-12-2006, 19:49
Chillax, it's just a B. You're still shattering the average, and if your school is anything like my high school was, it's going to count for the same points as an A in regular chemistry would.


While I'm here, shall I tell the tale of the quarter of no homework? It was a capstone experience to high school. I decided I hated my AP Chem instructor, and as a result, I didn't turn in a single homework for an entire quarter. I got a B+, and I was a hero.
Rameria
14-12-2006, 19:49
It's just...I was so close. I could have gotten straight A's all through high school. That's been my goal for a long time. If I had gotten just two more questions right on the semester exam, I would have had an A, since I had a 93% in both quarters. But I think that colleges only see the semester grade, don't they? So they'll just see the B and think that I'm a slacker or that I'm not smart.

And everyone else will hate me now, too, because I've always gotten straight A's before and they expect it.
Colleges that see a B in an AP class are NOT going to think you're a slacker. Trust me. They prefer to see Bs in AP classes to As in normal classes. Really.

And get it out of your head that people are going to hate you because of your grades. If your friends do hate you because you got a B instead of an A, you need new friends.
MrWho
14-12-2006, 19:50
A B+ in Ap Chem is pretty good so you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. When I took AP Chem, the only reason I got a B in the class was because our teacher based our grades on the results of our AP tests, otherwise I would have gotten a D in the class. Besides, most colleges weigh the grades for AP classes so your B should be weighed to an A.
Infinite Revolution
14-12-2006, 19:50
hey, don't worry. i fucked up bad in my final year at school, i was predicted to get two As and a B and i ended up failing most of my final modules and getting two Bs and a C over all. i still got into a good university. in the end it's only one subject out of many and you'll get a chance to improve. people think that what you achieve in school is the be-all and end-all of your life. it's not, you've got your whole life to acheive and improve and change your mind and try other things.
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 19:51
It's just...I was so close. I could have gotten straight A's all through high school. That's been my goal for a long time. If I had gotten just two more questions right on the semester exam, I would have had an A, since I had a 93% in both quarters. But I think that colleges only see the semester grade, don't they? So they'll just see the B and think that I'm a slacker or that I'm not smart.

And everyone else will hate me now, too, because I've always gotten straight A's before and they expect it.

Listen, kiddo, you're obsessing. No one's going to think you're a slacker, let alone some dweeb in a college admissions office skimming through your transcript. And I don't think they do look at the individual semester grades, anyway. Of course, when I went to college, only the letter A had been invented, so everyone always got all As. And no one else will hate you because they expected you to get all As and you didn't. Unless they've been keeping a betting pool going and have just lost all their allowance money for the next 15 years. Those people might be annoyed. Child, relax.
Machiavellian Heaven
14-12-2006, 19:52
Have a seat.

It's not the end of the world - nor is it some bone crushing awful thing.

Your life is not over.
Colleges are still going to accept you.
You are more than your grades.


In fact, you are always going to be more than your studies, more than what you wear, more than what you do for a living, more than who you know.

You are at the beginning of a very great adventure - you're just getting started.

Take a deep breath, get something to eat and drink, and have a nap.


Here here.

Seriously dude, don't trip. A lof of colleges that conventional wisdom rates better than the Ivies will accept B students. You'll find a list of them in Loren Pope's 40 Colleges That Change Lives.

If this is the first time you've ever gotten a B average, you might consider transferring to a tougher school.
Eve Online
14-12-2006, 19:52
Chandelier, it sounds like you're wound too tight.

What you need is a night of debauchery. Maybe a whole weekend of it.
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 19:54
Relax. Take a deep breath. Your life is not over and no one is going to hate you. Colleges are likely going to fall all over themselves to accept you if you're this worried about a B (assuming you also have extracurriculars and all that other stuff).

Seriously, don't stress so much about this. One B isn't going to kill you.

I'm starting to calm down a little bit now. It just feels like it's over, and it feels like everyone will hate me.

I do have some extracurriculars. This is my third year in Latin club and I'm the secretary, I was on the freshman advisory board in 9th grade, I'm in National Honor Society, and I'm on the academic team.

A B in AP Chemistry, to me, is fantastic!

Don't worry too much. If it's bothering you this bad, concentrate on improving your grade.

Colleges (in my experience) are more concerned with the AP test score rather than your grade in the class.

Ok. It's too late for me to improve it for this semester.

You should totally take an AK47 to school, shoot it into the ceiling and when you've got everyone's attention shoot yourself.

Or maybe you could chill out and realize that a B in AP Chem actually will look good on a college application. You're totally overreacting and being a big baby about this.

I know I am overreacting and being a baby, but I can't help it. I've placed all my self-value on grades, and now I feel worthless.

I never got higher than a B in school so I have no idea what your upset about

Though you do have my sympathy if grades are all you have…

I think that grades are all that I had. They're all that matter to me. I probably have other things, too, but I don't consider them.
Drunk commies deleted
14-12-2006, 19:54
Chandelier, it sounds like you're wound too tight.

What you need is a night of debauchery. Maybe a whole weekend of it.

Or maybe a hard night of drinking and drugs sex, and a fight topped off with an arrest for a minor disorderly persons offense to put things in perspective.
Eve Online
14-12-2006, 19:59
Or maybe a hard night of drinking and drugs sex, and a fight topped off with an arrest for a minor disorderly persons offense to put things in perspective.

Being arrested worked for me.
Pure Metal
14-12-2006, 20:00
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

sorry but i can't begin to sympathise.
i still remember my friend mark getting 3 D's and a U back for his mock A-levels in college and being fine with it until this snotty girl we knew sat with us and started crying over the first B she'd ever got :rolleyes:
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:01
Colleges that see a B in an AP class are NOT going to think you're a slacker. Trust me. They prefer to see Bs in AP classes to As in normal classes. Really.

And get it out of your head that people are going to hate you because of your grades. If your friends do hate you because you got a B instead of an A, you need new friends.

It just bothers me. I feel like I'm not worthy of anything anymore.

Here here.

Seriously dude, don't trip. A lof of colleges that conventional wisdom rates better than the Ivies will accept B students. You'll find a list of them in Loren Pope's 40 Colleges That Change Lives.

If this is the first time you've ever gotten a B average, you might consider transferring to a tougher school.

I'm not going to be a B student though. It's a B in one class, not a B average overall. (I don't know why I'm defending myself. I deserve to abuse myself. Although surprisingly I haven't physically hurt myself yet.) All of my classes are weighted, and six of them are college-level.
Rameria
14-12-2006, 20:07
I'm starting to calm down a little bit now. It just feels like it's over, and it feels like everyone will hate me.

I do have some extracurriculars. This is my third year in Latin club and I'm the secretary, I was on the freshman advisory board in 9th grade, I'm in National Honor Society, and I'm on the academic team.
It's not over. Really, it's not. Colleges will be very impressed by a transcript that shows a single B in AP chemistry, your junior year in high school. Besides, I'm guessing that this is going to motivate you to get straight As for the rest of high school, right?

I know I am overreacting and being a baby, but I can't help it. I've placed all my self-value on grades, and now I feel worthless.

I think that grades are all that I had. They're all that matter to me. I probably have other things, too, but I don't consider them.
You are not worthless. You're overreacting a little, but I was the same way when I got my first B. You'll get over it eventually and realize that one B is not the end of the world. Even if grades are all that you have (and I doubt that), you have to realize that a B for one semester does not somehow invalidate all the As that you've earned. You should be proud of what you've accomplished so far.
Kanabia
14-12-2006, 20:09
I don't understand why intelligent people with good results feel the need to belittle themselves constantly. This week i've already heard: "I did badly, I only got a 98.85. I wanted 99.5!" or "I got 92.85, i'll never be able to get into the course I want".

All it does is make the rest of us feel like shit, because you're hinting that your minor failures are still far greater than other people's greatest successes. And stop acting like you don't know it. A B+ is a good mark and you're not starving to death like millions of people around the world. You don't have anything to worry about.
Poliwanacraca
14-12-2006, 20:11
It's just...I was so close. I could have gotten straight A's all through high school. That's been my goal for a long time. If I had gotten just two more questions right on the semester exam, I would have had an A, since I had a 93% in both quarters. But I think that colleges only see the semester grade, don't they? So they'll just see the B and think that I'm a slacker or that I'm not smart.

And everyone else will hate me now, too, because I've always gotten straight A's before and they expect it.

Heh. Silly girl, people who are slackers or not smart don't take AP Chem, let alone get an 89% in it. College admissions officers know that. As for "everyone else," anyone who values you solely for your grades is, quite simply, an idiot.

For what it's worth, I'm fairly certain I got a few B's in high school, and I was accepted at several of the best colleges in the country. It's really and truly not a big deal at all.
Delator
14-12-2006, 20:11
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

I've seen people go emo over failed relationships...but never over decent grades.

*shrugs shoulders...wanders off*
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:14
My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)
Soviestan
14-12-2006, 20:15
calm down emo kid. You will have no problem getting into USF(if thats where you want to go) if your lowest grade is a B+ believe me. You don't even have to write an essay to get in. So chill, listen to music, read or something.
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:16
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

Also, here's a little hint alot of people don't know:

Colleges and employers do not like straight A students.

WHA?!

Let me explain: Employers(And Colleges) want people who can learn the job that is needed, not somebody who "knows" everything, and is unwilling to learn new things. Straight-A students tend to "know" everything, and learn very little. Thus, they are less desirable than a high-B student, in many cases.

I have just given you all a reason to be slackers. Have an ice day.
Pure Metal
14-12-2006, 20:16
I don't understand why intelligent people with good results feel the need to belittle themselves constantly. This week i've already heard: "I did badly, I only got a 98.85. I wanted 99.5!" or "I got 92.85, i'll never be able to get into the course I want".

All it does is make the rest of us feel like shit, because you're hinting that your minor failures are still far greater than other people's greatest successes. And stop acting like you don't know it. A B+ is a good mark and you're not starving to death like millions of people around the world. You don't have anything to worry about.

i think its a less-than-subtle way of bragging or fishing for compliments and attention, y'know (with some people)
Pure Metal
14-12-2006, 20:17
My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)

JOY!!







:rolleyes:
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:18
My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)

...

Lucky sonofabiznatch. Man, I wish my teachers made mistakes. Would have saved a lot of time going into their rooms after class and changing some of the scores in the gradebooks...

I have said to much.

*shifty eyes*

Note-Yes I have done that, and no I have never been caught. I am actually quite intelligent, and not a deliquent, but I find that my general slackerness kept me from getting the grades in the past. :D
Call to power
14-12-2006, 20:18
I think that grades are all that I had. They're all that matter to me. I probably have other things, too, but I don't consider them.

:eek: you mean NSG isn't in the "all that I have" category!!! *cries*

My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)

*hides McDonalds outfit*
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:20
I'm sorry for this. I really did feel worthless when I saw that. I guess I checked my grade too early. But I guess this shows me that I need to change my perspective a bit.
Luipaard
14-12-2006, 20:21
:eek: you mean NSG isn't in the "all that I have" category!!! *cries*



*hides McDonalds outfit*

And wahts wrong with working in macdonalds? I am getting very very close to doing that atm.
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:23
I'm sorry for this. I really did feel worthless when I saw that. I guess I checked my grade too early. But I guess this shows me that I need to change my perspective a bit.

Indeed. As suggested before, a night of debauchery and misdemeanors will unwind you quite well. :D
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 20:23
My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)

Well, I'd just go smack your slacker teacher, I would. And start thinking about what you're going to do in four or five years or so when you graduate college and don't have grades to grade yourself with.

You're a reasonably articulate young woman, you can actually frame a sensible sentence in English, which is more than most of the people around here can be bothered to do, and this is what you value yourself by? I like you but you're silly. And young, so there's hope, I guess. ;)
Kanabia
14-12-2006, 20:23
i think its a less-than-subtle way of bragging or fishing for compliments and attention, y'know (with some people)

Yes, and i'm getting a little tired of it, since continually having my supposed intellectual superiors attempt to rub my nose in it is getting incredibly tiresome.

JOY!!







:rolleyes:

lol.
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:24
And wahts wrong with working in macdonalds? I am getting very very close to doing that atm.

You smell like crap, for one(An odor so foul, a thousand showers cannot cleanse you).

You look like crap at the end of the day, for the other.

Nobody will respect you.
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:29
Yes, and i'm getting a little tired of it, since continually having my supposed intellectual superiors attempt to rub my nose in it is getting incredibly tiresome.



lol.

I'm sorry if it seemed like that was what I was trying to do. I guess it does. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

Well, I'd just go smack your slacker teacher, I would. And start thinking about what you're going to do in four or five years or so when you graduate college and don't have grades to grade yourself with.

You're a reasonably articulate young woman, you can actually frame a sensible sentence in English, which is more than most of the people around here can be bothered to do, and this is what you value yourself by? I like you but you're silly. And young, so there's hope, I guess. ;)

I guess so. I need to bring this up when I go to see the psychiatrist next time(for my self-esteem problems and other problems). Yes, I feel really silly right now, as well as deliriously happy. I just don't know how else to judge myself objectively.

Indeed. As suggested before, a night of debauchery and misdemeanors will unwind you quite well. :D

:p I can't do that, though. I don't drink or do drugs or anything like that.
Poliwanacraca
14-12-2006, 20:30
My teacher just called me. She made a mistake with my grade and I actually have a 91%. I'm so excited right now. Nevermind, I guess.:)

Okay, so your crisis is averted for now. May I suggest, though, that you take this opportunity to start convincing yourself that getting a B is not the end of the world? Odds are you will get a B at some point in your life, for some reason or another, especially if you go to a particularly good college, where grading tends to be tougher. The college I went to is frequently lauded as one of the best schools in the world; while there, I hung out primarily with the campus "geeks," who were even smarter than the student body at large - and I know no one who only got A's for their entire college career. People make mistakes, or get ill, or have emotional issues interfere with their work, or just aren't that great at a particular course. It happens. It's expected. It doesn't make you dumb or worthless or anything other than somebody who happened to get a B one semester. That's really worth ingraining in your head now, so that you don't go through this again.
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:32
Okay, so your crisis is averted for now. May I suggest, though, that you take this opportunity to start convincing yourself that getting a B is not the end of the world? Odds are you will get a B at some point in your life, for some reason or another, especially if you go to a particularly good college, where grading tends to be tougher. The college I went to is frequently lauded as one of the best schools in the world; while there, I hung out primarily with the campus "geeks," who were even smarter than the student body at large - and I know no one who only got A's for their entire college career. It happens. It's expected. It doesn't make you dumb or worthless or anything other than somebody who happened to get a B one semester. That's really worth ingraining in your head now, so that you don't go through this again.

I'm trying to see that. It's just that I've based my value entirely on grades since about the third grade. I've felt miserable over the summer because I didn't have any grades to "prove myself" with. I know that it's messed up, but I don't know how to change.
Eve Online
14-12-2006, 20:33
:p I can't do that, though. I don't drink or do drugs or anything like that.

Is there some reason you can't engage in promiscuous sex?
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:33
:p I can't do that, though. I don't drink or do drugs or anything like that.

Alright, hire some strippers then. And go out on the town, playing "Mailbox Baseball". You have TONS of options. :p
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:34
Is there some reason you can't engage in promiscuous sex?

Yes. I'm asexual.

Alright, hire some strippers then. And go out on the town, playing "Mailbox Baseball". You have TONS of options. :p

I don't leave my house, though, except for when I have to or when my parents take me somewhere.:(
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 20:34
I guess so. I need to bring this up when I go to see the psychiatrist next time(for my self-esteem problems and other problems). Yes, I feel really silly right now, as well as deliriously happy. I just don't know how else to judge myself objectively.

Yeah, something to work on. I'm glad you're feeling better, anyway. And I can imagine what a high that feeling is, after the depths so deep they drove to ask us for advice. :cool:
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:35
Yeah, something to work on. I'm glad you're feeling better, anyway. And I can imagine what a high that feeling is, after the depths so deep they drove to ask us for advice. :cool:

It's just that I can't think of any other objective way to determine my value. And, yes, I feel great now. But in a few minutes I need to start studying for my last two exams.
Kanabia
14-12-2006, 20:36
I'm sorry if it seemed like that was what I was trying to do. I guess it does. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

I'm just a little bitter lately because i've had it coming my way a bit. ;)

It is helpful to learn how to put your failures and successes in perspective, however. Maybe when you eventually fall below an "A", (because it will happen one day - it happens to everyone) you won't be so disappointed. It will also make your present successes seem all the better for it, and you'll be able to celebrate them properly rather than considering them simply "normal".
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:38
Yes. I'm asexual.



Technically speaking, that doesn't stop you from having promiscuous sex.

*fees a tad awkward*


I don't leave my house, though, except for when I have to or when my parents take me somewhere.:(

Alright, tell me where you live, when you are home, and how late you can stay out. I'll show you a night you'll NEVER forget. You may WANT to forget it, but you won't be able to. Blood, mayhem, and carnage!
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 20:38
It's just that I can't think of any other objective way to determine my value. And, yes, I feel great now. But in a few minutes I need to start studying for my last two exams.

You'll find something.

Right now I need to get something to eat and then try to get some work done this afternoon (though I actually did this morning).

Hang in there, Chandelier (that doesn't sound right,somehow ... oh, well).
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:38
I'm just a little bitter lately because i've had it coming my way a bit. ;)

It is helpful to learn how to put your failures and successes in perspective, however. Maybe when you eventually fall below an "A", (because it will happen one day - it happens to everyone) you won't be so disappointed. And it will make your present successes seem all the better for it, and you'll be able to celebrate them rather than considering them "normal".

I hope I can change my perspective. It's hard, because I still don't know how to judge myself objectively without basing my worth on grades. I guess this will help eventually though.
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:39
It's just that I can't think of any other objective way to determine my value. And, yes, I feel great now. But in a few minutes I need to start studying for my last two exams.

Why need value, might I ask? I place exactly zero value on myself, and I am quite content. There is a certain contention one finds in not trying to live up to anything, really.
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 20:40
Technically speaking, that doesn't stop you from having promiscuous sex.

*fees a tad awkward*



Alright, tell me where you live, when you are home, and how late you can stay out. I'll show you a night you'll NEVER forget. You may WANT to forget it, but you won't be able to. Blood, mayhem, and carnage!

True, it doesn't technically stop me, but it means that I don't want it.:p

I can't stay out. My bedtime is 9PM anyway.
Rameria
14-12-2006, 20:41
Okay, so your crisis is averted for now. May I suggest, though, that you take this opportunity to start convincing yourself that getting a B is not the end of the world? Odds are you will get a B at some point in your life, for some reason or another, especially if you go to a particularly good college, where grading tends to be tougher. The college I went to is frequently lauded as one of the best schools in the world; while there, I hung out primarily with the campus "geeks," who were even smarter than the student body at large - and I know no one who only got A's for their entire college career. People make mistakes, or get ill, or have emotional issues interfere with their work, or just aren't that great at a particular course. It happens. It's expected. It doesn't make you dumb or worthless or anything other than somebody who happened to get a B one semester. That's really worth ingraining in your head now, so that you don't go through this again.
What she said.
Seangoli
14-12-2006, 20:43
It's just that I can't think of any other objective way to determine my value. And, yes, I feel great now. But in a few minutes I need to start studying for my last two exams.

True, it doesn't technically stop me, but it means that I don't want it.:p


How do you know until you try? *wink-wink-nudge-nudge*

*remembers you are still in High school*

Er... with others of your peer group of course...


I can't stay out. My bedtime is 9PM anyway.

9 P.M.? Yikes. We could do a 6 to 8-er, I suppose, but there is the fact it is less fun to play Mailbox Baseball before dark.
Poliwanacraca
14-12-2006, 20:49
I'm trying to see that. It's just that I've based my value entirely on grades since about the third grade. I've felt miserable over the summer because I didn't have any grades to "prove myself" with. I know that it's messed up, but I don't know how to change.

It's tough, I know. Seeing a therapist is a good start. So is just forcing yourself to find other things you like about yourself besides your grades. You can start with relatively similar things - you mentioned being on your school's academic team. Do you sometimes answer questions no one else on your team knew? Feel proud of that. Having established that as something to be proud of, think of a time when you made people laugh with a joke you told, or wrote a story people liked. Feel proud of that. Keep moving backwards from specific, measurable accomplishments like "I got a 91% in AP Chem" towards more general, overarching qualities like "I'm smart." Make yourself be proud of being smart, or nice, or a good friend to people. Stand in front of a mirror and say, "I, Chandelier, am an awesome person, who is smart and nice and [whatever other good qualities you might have]." You'll feel ridiculous saying this, but keep doing it anyway. After a while, it'll feel less and less ridiculous, and more and more true.
Slaughterhouse five
14-12-2006, 20:53
boo hoo.

its the lowest grade you have ever had? so that makes your GPA around a 3.9? maybe even higher depending on how your school handles honors classes and the like.

yeah a college will never take you with a 3.9 GPA :rolleyes:

if you wanted to post on how well your doing in school just do it that way. dont try to gain sympathy over a b+
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 22:02
How do you know until you try? *wink-wink-nudge-nudge*

*remembers you are still in High school*

Er... with others of your peer group of course...



9 P.M.? Yikes. We could do a 6 to 8-er, I suppose, but there is the fact it is less fun to play Mailbox Baseball before dark.

Do people usually have to "try" before they know that they're attracted to other people? I was under the impression that they didn't.

:p

It's tough, I know. Seeing a therapist is a good start. So is just forcing yourself to find other things you like about yourself besides your grades. You can start with relatively similar things - you mentioned being on your school's academic team. Do you sometimes answer questions no one else on your team knew? Feel proud of that. Having established that as something to be proud of, think of a time when you made people laugh with a joke you told, or wrote a story people liked. Feel proud of that. Keep moving backwards from specific, measurable accomplishments like "I got a 91% in AP Chem" towards more general, overarching qualities like "I'm smart." Make yourself be proud of being smart, or nice, or a good friend to people. Stand in front of a mirror and say, "I, Chandelier, am an awesome person, who is smart and nice and [whatever other good qualities you might have]." You'll feel ridiculous saying this, but keep doing it anyway. After a while, it'll feel less and less ridiculous, and more and more true.

I answered a question correctly once, because my friend knew that I knew it (because he saw me write down the answer quickly all of a sudden) and buzzed in before I had time to tell him not to. I was right, and I felt really good about it.

I guess I could try that. Thanks for the advice.:)
Glitziness
14-12-2006, 22:07
This brings back memories....
I know exactly how you feel, and I'm slowly managing to get a more realistic perspective on things. It is possible, though I do understand how hard it is.

(edit: Chandlier, if you want to skip the rant and get to the advice, go down to the bracketed bit and read from there on, heh :p)

When you have very low self-esteem, and the only praise you're used to is based on grades, and that's the only secure thing you can rely on about yourself, it is incredibly hard when you feel like you're losing the one thing you have any pride in, the one thing that gives you some sense of worth. When the only praise you get is based on good grades and being clever, who wouldn't find it hard to feel like you're gonna lose that? If people are proud of you for the grades you get, and then they start to slip, who wouldn't worry about losing that?

Heh, just typing about it makes me teary, so I do very much understand what it feels like.

I also understand what it feels like when no-one gets it. I'm not an arrogant person, or a snob, or at all boastful. It's simply a fact that I'm used to getting high grades. I don't take it for granted, I work damn hard for it, and I don't show off about it. But I can't change the fact that it's normal to me. So when I've had it slip in the past, it has been very hard for me, regardless of the fact it's still better than for most other people. It's all relative, and doing worse than you're used to is hard. If you're used to As, that's what you expect from yourself and what you know you can do, so getting worse than that does feel like failing, and it isn't that illogical, though it is unhealthy.

Now general social stuff I've always been kinda bad at, whereas most people find it a lot easier. If they had that start to slip and went somewhere where it was really hard to make friends, they'd find it hard as well, but I wouldn't start accusing them of taking their social skills for granted. Intelligence is a weird thing, and it's very hard to be proud of it or have it really really matter to you without being accussed of arrogance or such stuff.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has characteristics in themselves which they pride themselves on, or are used to. Everyone gets upset when the things they're used to succeeding at, they start doing worse at. Why is that so unacceptable with grades and intelligence?


(Uh, I could rant about this for quite a while, but I think I'll shut up and actually try to be of some use to you :p)


It is really very important that you try and find other things to gain self-esteem from because having it focused around a single thing isn't healthy, especially when grades won't always exist in your life, when grades aren't even always the best measure of intelligence and when grades don't actually give you a meaningful thing to say about yourself. Looking at other aspects of yourself, and perhaps asking other people to, is a good idea. It's very hard at first to break down low-self esteem, but you can do it.

It'd be far healthier to even make the small change of priding yourself in your hard work, your determination, your conscientiousness, your ambition and generally the effort you put into doing your best. That is building up confidence around your actions and your attitudes. Those are characteristics which you don't need grades to work off. Those are characteristics which are endlessly helpful, throughout your life, in various ways. Those are characteristics which mean more to everyone - family, friends, people at school, people at college, employers... everyone. And they should mean more to you as well.

Of course, I'm sure that's what your grades symbolise to you at the moment, but making the distinction between proud of getting high marks and being proud of your attitude, your behaviour, strengths in your personality and the person who you are is far healthier.

Also, it allows room for getting a B. If you have worked hard and put a lot of effort into what you've done, you can be pleased with the outcome regardless because you have done things to be proud of and you've been the person you want to be.

I know how hard it is to break the link in your head between grades and success, and therefore your worth, but it is possible. You do have to try at it. When thoughts come into your head such as "I'm a failure", fight against it. Show yourself that you can be the rational, intelligent person who you pride yourself on being. Think of all the times you've done well, think about all the work you've done which you can be proud of, think of how illogical it is to feel worthless because of one grade which isn't an A. At first it won't have much effect, but gradually you'll break down the thoughts in your head which pop up. At the moment they're unchallenged - challenge them.

Trust me, you don't need all the highest grades to be happy with yourself. That's what I thought, and I could never see how I could be happy without them, but you can.

You also need to accept that you can't always be good at every subject. Partly because it's very hard to be focusing on various subjects and be putting your all into every one of them. Also, because different subjects involve different skills. You can still be a very talented, intelligent individual, but have a very slight weakness in your style of essay writing (for example). It is obvious that you are extremely bright, so try not to worry about something you're not quite as good at as the rest of things.

For me, holding lots and lots of factual knowledge in my head is the hardest thing. I'm probably better than average, but things like sciences were the things I had to work hardest at to get the grades I wanted.

One tip is to try and prioritise. That doesn't mean doing badly at other things. You can still do very well at the majority of things, but focusing your efforts on certain things is a good idea. Rather than caring about grades blindly, care about the ones which you want to use for career later, or ones you particurlarly enjoy or have a flair for, or ones which challenge you and which you really want to do well in.

Challenging yourself could also be a very good idea. If you try really stretching yourself with things, it is gonna be harder than you're used to, and it might help you deal with being in a less comfortable situation than you're used to. I'm taking subjects this year which are a bit out of my comfort zone, and I'm not as secure about my grades as I have been in the past, but it's helping me be more healthy in my approach. I have to get used to getting low grades, being positive and proactive about them, and then working my way up.

Having a healthier approach to things does not mean that you have to give up being successful and intelligent. That's important to grasp. I thought that getting less stressed about it would mean my grades dropped, and part of me wanted to feel crap about myself to keep motivating me to work hard. But that isn't how it has to be. Now, I'm still very successful at college, but I'm happier! I still care about this kinda thing a bit more than most, probably, but I'm far more positive and feel better about myself, while still being driven to do well.

I actually feel a lot more successful, because I'm doing well academically, and I'm also doing well in looking after myself and my emotional health.

I hate people who preach the perfect life of a fantastic social life, being amazingly healthy, being wonderfully happy, and having top grades. Of course you have to sacrifice bits of your social life, and you're gonna have to deal with some stress, and you might get tired, if you're working to get top top grades. You can't have everything. Everyone has things they care about more. But, you can manage to look after your emotional health, while still aiming for the best you can get.

Different things work for different people. I can't really tell you specifically what you should do. For me, I work during my frees at college, but enjoy my lunchtimes with friends, and enjoy my evenings to relax. I can feel very productive, while giving myself time not to be totally overrun by school work. For my revision, I had a fairly loosely structured revision timetable, so it was flexible for me to have days off, but I still did a hell of a lot and got the grades I wanted.

Taking into account of the fact that you should look after your wellbeing and how you feel is important, and it won't sacrifice your grades or success. It will only extend your success in all of your life.

Of course how well you do at school or college or whatever will always affect your moods and your sense of self. You care about those things, and that won't go away, and it isn't a bad thing. But you can still make it so that it isn't the end of the world to get a B, you can get a healthier attitude, you can base your self-esteem off of more than simply grades, and you can have a much better life.

I seriously wish you luck. I know you can do this - if I can, anyone can. (Everyone who knows how stressed and totally crazy I used to get over grades will tell you :p)

If you ever want to talk, please TG me. I'm someone who understand and who has been through this :fluffle:

(Sorry for the ridiculously long post people.... hehe :P)
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 22:09
Back to what Poli said about getting a good mantra, try this, from "How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying" ... The character who sings it, sings it to himself in the mirror ...

Now there you are;
Yes, there's that face,
That face that somehow I trust.
It may embarrass you to hear me say it,
But say it I must, say it I must:

You have the cool, clear
Eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth;
Yet there's that upturned chin
And that grin of impetuous youth.
Oh, I believe in you.
I believe in you.

I hear the sound of good, solid judgment
Whenever you talk;
Yet there's the bold, brave spring of the tiger
That quickens your walk.
Oh, I believe in you.
I believe in you.

And when my faith in my fellow man
All but falls apart,
I've but to feel your hand grasping mine
And I take heart; I take heart

To see the cool, clear
Eyes of a seeker of wisdom and truth;
Yet, with the slam-bang tang
Reminiscent of gin and vermouth.
Oh, I believe in you.
I believe in you.
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 22:16
This brings back memories....
I know exactly how you feel, and I'm slowly managing to get a more realistic perspective on things. It is possible, though I do understand how hard it is.

(edit: Chandlier, if you want to skip the rant and get to the advice, go down to the bracketed bit and read from there on, heh :p)

When you have very low self-esteem, and the only praise you're used to is based on grades, and that's the only secure thing you can rely on about yourself, it is incredibly hard when you feel like you're losing the one thing you have any pride in, the one thing that gives you some sense of worth. When the only praise you get is based on good grades and being clever, who wouldn't find it hard to feel like you're gonna lose that? If people are proud of you for the grades you get, and then they start to slip, who wouldn't worry about losing that?

Heh, just typing about it makes me teary, so I do very much understand what it feels like.

I also understand what it feels like when no-one gets it. I'm not an arrogant person, or a snob, or at all boastful. It's simply a fact that I'm used to getting high grades. I don't take it for granted, I work damn hard for it, and I don't show off about it. But I can't change the fact that it's normal to me. So when I've had it slip in the past, it has been very hard for me, regardless of the fact it's still better than for most other people. It's all relative, and doing worse than you're used to is hard. If you're used to As, that's what you expect from yourself and what you know you can do, so getting worse than that does feel like failing, and it isn't that illogical, though it is unhealthy.

Now general social stuff I've always been kinda bad at, whereas most people find it a lot easier. If they had that start to slip and went somewhere where it was really hard to make friends, they'd find it hard as well, but I wouldn't start accusing them of taking their social skills for granted. Intelligence is a weird thing, and it's very hard to be proud of it or have it really really matter to you without being accussed of arrogance or such stuff.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has characteristics in themselves which they pride themselves on, or are used to. Everyone gets upset when the things they're used to succeeding at, they start doing worse at. Why is that so unacceptable with grades and intelligence?


(Uh, I could rant about this for quite a while, but I think I'll shut up and actually try to be of some use to you :p)


It is really very important that you try and find other things to gain self-esteem from because having it focused around a single thing isn't healthy, especially when grades won't always exist in your life, when grades aren't even always the best measure of intelligence and when grades don't actually give you a meaningful thing to say about yourself. Looking at other aspects of yourself, and perhaps asking other people to, is a good idea. It's very hard at first to break down low-self esteem, but you can do it.

It'd be far healthier to even make the small change of priding yourself in your hard work, your determination, your conscientiousness, your ambition and generally the effort you put into doing your best. That is building up confidence around your actions and your attitudes. Those are characteristics which you don't need grades to work off. Those are characteristics which are endlessly helpful, throughout your life, in various ways. Those are characteristics which mean more to everyone - family, friends, people at school, people at college, employers... everyone. And they should mean more to you as well.

Of course, I'm sure that's what your grades symbolise to you at the moment, but making the distinction between proud of getting high marks and being proud of your attitude, your behaviour, strengths in your personality and the person who you are is far healthier.

Also, it allows room for getting a B. If you have worked hard and put a lot of effort into what you've done, you can be pleased with the outcome regardless because you have done things to be proud of and you've been the person you want to be.

I know how hard it is to break the link in your head between grades and success, and therefore your worth, but it is possible. You do have to try at it. When thoughts come into your head such as "I'm a failure", fight against it. Show yourself that you can be the rational, intelligent person who you pride yourself on being. Think of all the times you've done well, think about all the work you've done which you can be proud of, think of how illogical it is to feel worthless because of one grade which isn't an A. At first it won't have much effect, but gradually you'll break down the thoughts in your head which pop up. At the moment they're unchallenged - challenge them.

Trust me, you don't need all the highest grades to be happy with yourself. That's what I thought, and I could never see how I could be happy without them, but you can.

You also need to accept that you can't always be good at every subject. Partly because it's very hard to be focusing on various subjects and be putting your all into every one of them. Also, because different subjects involve different skills. You can still be a very talented, intelligent individual, but have a very slight weakness in your style of essay writing (for example). It is obvious that you are extremely bright, so try not to worry about something you're not quite as good at as the rest of things.

For me, holding lots and lots of factual knowledge in my head is the hardest thing. I'm probably better than average, but things like sciences were the things I had to work hardest at to get the grades I wanted.

One tip is to try and prioritise. That doesn't mean doing badly at other things. You can still do very well at the majority of things, but focusing your efforts on certain things is a good idea. Rather than caring about grades blindly, care about the ones which you want to use for career later, or ones you particurlarly enjoy or have a flair for, or ones which challenge you and which you really want to do well in.

Challenging yourself could also be a very good idea. If you try really stretching yourself with things, it is gonna be harder than you're used to, and it might help you deal with being in a less comfortable situation than you're used to. I'm taking subjects this year which are a bit out of my comfort zone, and I'm not as secure about my grades as I have been in the past, but it's helping me be more healthy in my approach. I have to get used to getting low grades, being positive and proactive about them, and then working my way up.

Having a healthier approach to things does not mean that you have to give up being successful and intelligent. That's important to grasp. I thought that getting less stressed about it would mean my grades dropped, and part of me wanted to feel crap about myself to keep motivating me to work hard. But that isn't how it has to be. Now, I'm still very successful at college, but I'm happier! I still care about this kinda thing a bit more than most, probably, but I'm far more positive and feel better about myself, while still being driven to do well.

I actually feel a lot more successful, because I'm doing well academically, and I'm also doing well in looking after myself and my emotional health.

I hate people who preach the perfect life of a fantastic social life, being amazingly healthy, being wonderfully happy, and having top grades. Of course you have to sacrifice bits of your social life, and you're gonna have to deal with some stress, and you might get tired, if you're working to get top top grades. You can't have everything. Everyone has things they care about more. But, you can manage to look after your emotional health, while still aiming for the best you can get.

Different things work for different people. I can't really tell you specifically what you should do. For me, I work during my frees at college, but enjoy my lunchtimes with friends, and enjoy my evenings to relax. I can feel very productive, while giving myself time not to be totally overrun by school work. For my revision, I had a fairly loosely structured revision timetable, so it was flexible for me to have days off, but I still did a hell of a lot and got the grades I wanted.

Taking into account of the fact that you should look after your wellbeing and how you feel is important, and it won't sacrifice your grades or success. It will only extend your success in all of your life.

Of course how well you do at school or college or whatever will always affect your moods and your sense of self. You care about those things, and that won't go away, and it isn't a bad thing. But you can still make it so that it isn't the end of the world to get a B, you can get a healthier attitude, you can base your self-esteem off of more than simply grades, and you can have a much better life.

I seriously wish you luck. I know you can do this - if I can, anyone can. (Everyone who knows how stressed and totally crazy I used to get over grades will tell you :p)

If you ever want to talk, please TG me. I'm someone who understand and who has been through this :fluffle:

(Sorry for the ridiculously long post people.... hehe :P)

Thank you. That's really helpful to me.:) I'm going to try to get a better attidude about it. I don't really have a social life, so I don't expect to have everything perfect. I just want to make me grades the best they can be.
Poliwanacraca
14-12-2006, 22:21
I answered a question correctly once, because my friend knew that I knew it (because he saw me write down the answer quickly all of a sudden) and buzzed in before I had time to tell him not to. I was right, and I felt really good about it.

Heh. I played quiz bowl all through high school and college, so you've just reminded me of a story. There was one kid on my high school team who was quite intelligent but rather shy and inept. So we actually developed a team policy wherein one of the three girls on the varsity team would sit next to him every round and watch to see if he started muttering to himself, as this was always a surefire sign that he knew the answer. When he did, we would hit him, which would cause him to buzz in to get us to stop. It worked pretty well. Perhaps you should enlist a teammate to watch for your scribblings on a regular basis. :)


I guess I could try that. Thanks for the advice.:)

I'm happy to help. I've had my own self-esteem issues over the years, so I know how that goes. I even considered grades far too important for a while, too, though I suppose I was somewhat lucky in that I learned in elementary school that sometimes one gets bad grades without being a bad student. (Ah, "religion" class in Catholic school, where I got C's for "asking inappropriate questions." I kid you not. :p )
Pure Metal
14-12-2006, 22:56
I seriously wish you luck. I know you can do this - if I can, anyone can. (Everyone who knows how stressed and totally crazy I used to get over grades will tell you :p)


i can vouch for this *nods*
and chandilier, glitz also went to a psychologist (psychiatrists in this country are quite rare), so i shouldn't imagine you have it any worse than glitzi did.... and i didn't even know her when she was her most grades-obsessed (i think)

she's now almost a different person than she was a year ago - she's happier, less stressed, and still doing very well in college having got grades at GCSE level that got her published in the county newspapers.

point is, she's right... if she can do it its possible for you too! :fluffle:
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 23:00
i can vouch for this *nods*
and chandilier, glitz also went to a psychologist (psychiatrists in this country are quite rare), so i shouldn't imagine you have it any worse than glitzi did.... and i didn't even know her when she was her most grades-obsessed (i think)

she's now almost a different person than she was a year ago - she's happier, less stressed, and still doing very well in college having got grades at GCSE level that got her published in the county newspapers.

point is, she's right... if she can do it its possible for you too! :fluffle:

And Glitzi does it while putting up with PM, too, so it should be a breeze for you! :p
Glitziness
14-12-2006, 23:02
And Glitzi does it while putting up with PM, too, so it should be a breeze for you! :p
If anything, I'm extra lucky for doing it all with the wonderful support from PM :)
(you can't insult him that easily ;) *roars* :P)
Pure Metal
14-12-2006, 23:04
And Glitzi does it while putting up with PM, too, so it should be a breeze for you! :p

i don't know how the poor girl manages :p
(seriously, she manages to work hard, have a social life, AND make time to see me at the weekends! she's amazing!!)
Vittos the City Sacker
14-12-2006, 23:06
I feel so miserable right now. I'm panicking. I'm going to have an 88.98 for my semester grade for AP Chemistry. This will be the first B I've ever gotten. I don't know what to do with myself now. I feel like colleges will never accept me now, everyone will hate me now, and that my whole life is over. I'm probably being irrational, but my grades are pretty much the only way I can have good self-esteem, and now I don't know how I'm going to ever not hate myself anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm crying now, and have been for the past 15 minutes, ever since I found out. I don't know what to do.

Edit:

Be prepared for a horribly meaningless life of jumping through hoops.
Farnhamia
14-12-2006, 23:06
If anything, I'm extra lucky for doing it all with the wonderful support from PM :)
(you can't insult him that easily ;) *roars* :P)
It was such an opportunity, I couldn't let it pass.

i don't know how the poor girl manages :p
(seriously, she manages to work hard, have a social life, AND make time to see me at the weekends! she's amazing!!)
Women are stronger than men?
Chandelier
14-12-2006, 23:36
i can vouch for this *nods*
and chandilier, glitz also went to a psychologist (psychiatrists in this country are quite rare), so i shouldn't imagine you have it any worse than glitzi did.... and i didn't even know her when she was her most grades-obsessed (i think)

she's now almost a different person than she was a year ago - she's happier, less stressed, and still doing very well in college having got grades at GCSE level that got her published in the county newspapers.

point is, she's right... if she can do it its possible for you too! :fluffle:

Thank you.:)

Heh. I played quiz bowl all through high school and college, so you've just reminded me of a story. There was one kid on my high school team who was quite intelligent but rather shy and inept. So we actually developed a team policy wherein one of the three girls on the varsity team would sit next to him every round and watch to see if he started muttering to himself, as this was always a surefire sign that he knew the answer. When he did, we would hit him, which would cause him to buzz in to get us to stop. It worked pretty well. Perhaps you should enlist a teammate to watch for your scribblings on a regular basis. :)



I'm happy to help. I've had my own self-esteem issues over the years, so I know how that goes. I even considered grades far too important for a while, too, though I suppose I was somewhat lucky in that I learned in elementary school that sometimes one gets bad grades without being a bad student. (Ah, "religion" class in Catholic school, where I got C's for "asking inappropriate questions." I kid you not. :p )

I was really nervous afterwards. I looked really hysterical. I was just so happy to get one right.

Thanks again.:)
Glitziness
15-12-2006, 20:28
Women are stronger than men?
Noo.... it's just that I happen to rock ;) :p
*resists urge to go on rant about gender-stereotyping and instead does some ego boosting :p* though :) at what you said huw :fluffle:
The blessed Chris
15-12-2006, 20:30
Irrespective of the edit, this is tragic. For somebody who claims to be a "different girl" wou are astoundly weak. A B? One B? In how many years of education? How very pathetic you are.
Heron-Marked Warriors
15-12-2006, 20:45
Irrespective of the edit, this is tragic. For somebody who claims to be a "different girl" wou are astoundly weak. A B? One B? In how many years of education? How very pathetic you are.


Chandelier's patheticness is matched only by the helpfulness of the blessed Chris :p

I think the B-that-wasn't-a-B is something people either understand or they don't. To those that don't understand, it looks ridiculous. To those that do, most likely because they've been there, it looks tragic.
The blessed Chris
15-12-2006, 21:02
Chandelier's patheticness is matched only by the helpfulness of the blessed Chris :p

I think the B-that-wasn't-a-B is something people either understand or they don't. To those that don't understand, it looks ridiculous. To those that do, most likely because they've been there, it looks tragic.

Please don't misconsture what I said, as a historian who recently buggered up an Oxford interview, I'm not an academic retard. I simply think she's being weka, hyper-sensetive and pathetic. Why not try to work/cheat a little harder?
Chandelier
15-12-2006, 21:09
Please don't misconsture what I said, as a historian who recently buggered up an Oxford interview, I'm not an academic retard. I simply think she's being weka, hyper-sensetive and pathetic. Why not try to work/cheat a little harder?

Because that was the end of the semester and it's too late to fix it. I also already worked very hard; it was just an inputing error by the teacher that made it seem like I had a B. This course is the most challenging course I've ever taken, and I worked very hard. I'm happy now, because it turns out that my 91% is the third highest grade in the class.

I know that my reaction was pathetic and hypersensitive. As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I'm trying to change my perspective on grades, but it's difficult when grades have been one of the most important things in my life for nearly as long as I can remember.
Szanth
15-12-2006, 21:10
Please don't misconsture what I said, as a historian who recently buggered up an Oxford interview, I'm not an academic retard. I simply think she's being weka, hyper-sensetive and pathetic. Why not try to work/cheat a little harder?

Or a little softer. I feel sorry for people who take high school so seriously.
Glitziness
15-12-2006, 21:55
Or a little softer. I feel sorry for people who take high school so seriously.
Indeed. It's pretty obvious that someone who feels that their world collapses when they get a B is not someone you advise to work harder and take things more seriously...

Also, if you think the person is "hyper-sensitive" and "weak", how do you expect harsh words to do anything? Obviously that person needs their strength and self-esteem built up.
The Mindset
15-12-2006, 22:06
Bwahahahaha. Sorry.
Lacadaemon
15-12-2006, 22:12
Just think. When you're forty, you'll look back at high school fondly, and remember all the time you wasted chasing letter grades.

Anyway, getting all A's is less important than you think. Teachers tell you it's important, but that's only because they have low self esteem and want to make their decisions sound more important than they actually are. The reality is, however, that the vast majority of people that you come across in real life, i.e. your future co-workers, the people that will hire you, your future boss, most college professors - did not in fact get straight A's either, and will look upon anyone who does as a 'little odd'.

Do you think Bill Gates had straight A's in school? He did not. He's a college drop out.
Fleckenstein
15-12-2006, 22:23
I don't really have a social life,

Stop stealing my life in bizarro world over there. :p
Just yesterday I went ballistic over a 90 in AP US II and an 86 in Honors World Lit (a 20% of my final grade project though). Except I was trying my best to improve those classes (I studied, something I dont ever do). It becomes frustrating when you try and cant achieve what you expect.
But today I got a 98 on a Precalc test and it raised my average 2 points 87 to an 89). So happy was in order.

Same here about the social life. Mainly cause I just dont try. We should start a club!

(Side note: AP Bio and AP Chem scare me. Science was never my bag. And at least you arent a robot, like someone I know who has a 99 in AP Biology. He's a robot, I'm convinved.)
Darknovae
15-12-2006, 22:37
1) Chandi, calm down. A B is not going to kill you. I'm begging for a 70 in geometry right now.
2) Be glad you're in Florida. In NC a 91% is still a B.
The Minotaur Alliance
15-12-2006, 22:59
Snip

I know I am overreacting and being a baby, but I can't help it. I've placed all my self-value on grades, and now I feel worthless.

I think that grades are all that I had. They're all that matter to me. I probably have other things, too, but I don't consider them.

OK. This was earlier on in the post but, you can't place all your value in grades. You have to realize what grades are for. That is, to show you how you are doing in the class. And even those aren't completely objective because there are teachers who will grade you differently. I'm in college and my essays have run the gambit from being as low as 70, to 76, to 87, and then as high as 95. Without changing how I wrote. If you keep shooting for the grade, you're going to find yourself tailoring your writing to teachers who possibly have bad writing rubrics.

I don't know what kind of college you're planning on going to..
But, even getting straight Bs in honor classes and A's in regulars ones will get you close to a 4.0 G.P.A. If you're getting A's in other classes, your GPA is probably already above a 4.0.

To get into a state college, you need a 3.0 GPA
To get into a university, you need a 3.5 GPA
Unless you're applying to some Ivy League or Harvard school, the standards are lower than you might think.

And believe me, there are plenty of people below those G.P.As that get into college. They have extra curricular activities like sports and clubs and what not. You, being in honors societies and this and that. That's really going the extra mile. You are obviously a very studious person and when it comes time to write those college essays, that's going to show through.

I know you've been getting a lot of people to tell you to calm down. But, really, you ought to. Because after highschool.. and even after college, grades cease to exist.

You're right to worry about your grades in school, but control your grades-- don't let them control you.

Hope you feel better soon :/

EDIT: Saw your comments earlier and its good that you're coping. But, this applies even if this grade actually was an A. This stuff needs to sink in because the next time there isn't an inputting error you shouldn't go down the same path.