NationStates Jolt Archive

Oprah can you help me?


I am in third year University my marks are a problem, mostly because of a motivational issue. I find school interesting, but I think I've found my summer minimum wage job more rewarding than school and a 9-5 job that schooling is intended to prepare me for.

I have a fairly nice bank account so ultimately it comes down to what I enjoy more and what I wish to do in life.

My dream job right now is being a stay at home dad and to help raise kids, while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon.

Will I regret taking a year off school and working, or should I stick with school and get a half decent paying job that I might not enjoy?

Stick with it. Almost nobody out there really enjoys their respective jobs, anyway, and I really doubt that "while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon" is going to be an easy dream to achieve.

You'll probably regret it. There's no guarantee that you're going to have that kind of luck, so always have something to fall back on.

School is not only about getting a better job. It helps you in other ways as well. Understanding is not something that should be thrown away lightly. For example, being able to quote Shakespeare may not seem to do much good, but it is actually useful in some situations...

You might be in the wrong major. Changing majors isn't uncommon. It's easier to change boats now then change them later. Unless you know you might never come back it'd be worth it to take the time to figure out what you really want to study. If school is interesting to you, then maybe start taking classes that are just interesting to explore a new major. Hell, why not learn what you want to. If I could have maintained I would have stayed in college forever. As it is, I started when I was 18 and finished when I was 34. Though I took more than a year off...

Yes, stay with it. Plans and dreams change over time as you get older and the world changes and shifts, so it's better to at least have the education needed to make a different job/life change should you want or need too in the future.

I'm in the same boat, but in year 2.

the only class I enjoyed (or, for that matter, learned anything from) is the one where the teacher stood in front of us in september, said "In december, I want all of you to show me a website that you made. Go nuts"

I taught myself how to install virtual PC on my external hard drive, installed a virtual server, taught myself php, and made one kickass site where a user could write an html page and see it displayed on the screen, all hosted off the server on my external hard drive.

I retook a calculus course that I failed last semester, and a computer science course that taught me absolutely nothing about programming, as well as a political science course that bored me out of my mind.


I'm leaving in about a week, and honestly: I don't feel as bad about it as I thought I would.

Oh yeah, and what's on the paper doesn't always matter as much as having it, so even if you achieve you dream of having a sugar momma* you still have the option of getting something more than minimum wage later should the need arise.




*No, that's not fair. I know, it was just easier to say.

If you can change to a better course, do that, otherwise stick with it. all youre losing is the time it takes to finish, and you gain the potential to get a good job all your life. staying at home or working a minimum wage job may be rewarding, but wont necessarily be an option, due to circumstances or financial restraints or whatever.

snip
If your bank account doesn't dry up, then do whatever you want.

The Ultimate Life Solution is suicide, but, since life itself doesn't actually seem to be your problem, I'd advise not taking my advice. At least not until I'm sober.

No, I am in the right major my marks are the same as they've been since elementary school which means a mix of A's, B's, and C's.

About shakespeare I love reading I am a current affairs and news junkie, but exams and essays and worrying about marks is not what I enjoy.

I want to do all my learning outside the classroom.

Only this year I failed two assignments that were worth a combined 55% of my course and I tried (admittedly not my best) but my marks did not reflect how much I enjoyed the course and what I learnt from it.

I have a girlfriend we've been together for 6 months, long distance relationship and its not serious, but if turns into something good in the future, that would be great. I still have options I can still come back for another year, but I just need a year off school since I've never had one.

School is not only about getting a better job. It helps you in other ways as well. Understanding is not something that should be thrown away lightly. For example, being able to quote Shakespeare may not seem to do much good, but it is actually useful in some situations...

Like when you are mugged by theater officianados.

having been the victim of multiple 'years off' (only some of which were fully intentional) i can say that i got bored with them rather quickly.

No, I am in the right major my marks are the same as they've been since elementary school which means a mix of A's, B's, and C's.

About shakespeare I love reading I am a current affairs and news junkie, but exams and essays and worrying about marks is not what I enjoy.

I want to do all my learning outside the classroom.

Only this year I failed two assignments that were worth a combined 55% of my course and I tried (admittedly not my best) but my marks did not reflect how much I enjoyed the course and what I learnt from it.

I have a girlfriend we've been together for 6 months, long distance relationship and its not serious, but if turns into something good in the future, that would be great. I still have options I can still come back for another year, but I just need a year off school since I've never had one.
You can be doing well in a major and not be in the right major. A friend went through that, all the way to a Masters in Materials Engineering, did really well-couldn't care less about Materials Engineering.

He then went back, got a counciling degree, became a social worker, and now farms kiwis in a renewable resource orchard. I don't know what the moral of that story is. You can always grow kiwis?

having been the victim of multiple 'years off' (only some of which were fully intentional) i can say that i got bored with them rather quickly.

True dat. The homelessness wasn't that fun, either.

School is not only about getting a better job. It helps you in other ways as well. Understanding is not something that should be thrown away lightly. For example, being able to quote Shakespeare may not seem to do much good, but it is actually useful in some situations...
"What do you mean, it's crap? There's eight bodies at the end, and he gets to shag his Mum!" <- The only Shakespeare quote you will ever need.

Oprah can you help me?


I am in third year University my marks are a problem, mostly because of a motivational issue. I find school interesting, but I think I've found my summer minimum wage job more rewarding than school and a 9-5 job that schooling is intended to prepare me for.

I have a fairly nice bank account so ultimately it comes down to what I enjoy more and what I wish to do in life.

My dream job right now is being a stay at home dad and to help raise kids, while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon.

Will I regret taking a year off school and working, or should I stick with school and get a half decent paying job that I might not enjoy?This is actually refreshing. Raising kids is a completely legitimate desire - one that no one would blink at if it was a woman expessing it. I would finish your degree though. You don't want to risk your future career options. Lots of community jobs with kids and so forth do require degrees. Taking a year off is okay, as long as you think you'll have the motivation to go back. Somehow, I think getting it over now is a better idea, but i know people tha have taken the year off and loved it.

Stick with it. Almost nobody out there really enjoys their respective jobs, anyway, and I really doubt that "while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon" is going to be an easy dream to achieve.Why do you doubt it? There are more female university graduates now than men. There are more proffesionals (doctors, lawyers) graduating than men. there are plenty of women that are more than capable of briniging home the bacon, and would in fact jump at the chance to marry an intelligent man who put THEIR career first, and didn't mind being the main hand in the home. There is nothing wrong with that balance.

This is actually refreshing. Raising kids is a completely legitimate desire - one that no one would blink at if it was a woman expessing it. I would finish your degree though. You don't want to risk your future career options. Lots of community jobs with kids and so forth do require degrees. Taking a year off is okay, as long as you think you'll have the motivation to go back. Somehow, I think getting it over now is a better idea, but i know people tha have taken the year off and loved it.

Why do you doubt it? There are more female university graduates now than men. There are more proffesionals (doctors, lawyers) graduating than men. there are plenty of women that are more than capable of briniging home the bacon, and would in fact jump at the chance to marry an intelligent man who put THEIR career first, and didn't mind being the main hand in the home. There is nothing wrong with that balance.

I completely agree with this statement. If you think you want to be a stay at home dad or keep a minimum wage job, then by all means try to make it happen. If it were me though, I would definately finish the degree first. If something drastic happens you don't want to be without the funds or motivation to finish, because that means you've wasted all of your previous schooling, and you never know when you might change your mind and want a job that requires the education.

Stick with it. Almost nobody out there really enjoys their respective jobs, anyway

erm, I'd take issue with that. I don't disagree, but it's not something you accept in the planning stages of your life. my shrink told me often that if you're smart when you're at work you'll be doing something you would be doing anyway, saying "I can't believe I get paid to do this!" - if you're no longer young and you're still working a job you hate, it's time for major change.

what have you discovered doing that you like better than your 9-5 desk-monkey career? if money isn't an object, screw the rat race. working a 9-5 sort of job probably will contribute nothing of any lasting value to society and will be a complete waste of a life.

now, I'm not saying "follow your dream" or anything like that. you probably *cannot* do even the majority of things you set your mind to, because almost nobody *can*, so please don't go throwing away your scholarship to become a rock star or something - but if money really isn't an issue for you, then don't waste yourself on anything that doesn't matter.

Why, do I have to be prepared for the rest of my life at 20.
I am not mature enough for that yet. I know from my family's perspective my mom and dad did well at school got good jobs, but I doubt how much they enjoy their jobs.

Two of my cousins did not go to post secondary education and though they still have their fun I don't think they are as well off as their brothers and sisters who stuck with school. I guess I can either take summer school or come back in my 4th year and hopefully pull of my bachelors degree (today's high school diploma) as I wont get into honours.

Maybe I should go home transfer universities so that my girlfriend can kick me in the rear (figuratively speaking), since I nor my parents were capable of motivating me enough. She does work in the University counselling department after all.

I just cant bother to work on my final two finals due on tuesday and thursday respectively, I just finished my two essays in two other subjects, handing them in late.:(

Edit: I went to a shrink two years ago, because my mom thought I was depressed. He was fine but the 100$ 1 hour sessions made me sick so I stopped figuring it wasn't worth it.

[QUOTE=Vegan Nuts;12067910]erm, I'd take issue with that. I don't disagree, but it's not something you accept in the planning stages of your life. my shrink told me often that if you're smart when you're at work you'll be doing something you would be doing anyway, saying "I can't believe I get paid to do this!"QUOTE]

I only graduated a few months ago and I watch DVDs and play Counter-strike at work. I sometimes play poker too. And occasionally answer the goddamn phone.

[QUOTE=Vegan Nuts;12067910]erm, I'd take issue with that. I don't disagree, but it's not something you accept in the planning stages of your life. my shrink told me often that if you're smart when you're at work you'll be doing something you would be doing anyway, saying "I can't believe I get paid to do this!"QUOTE]

I only graduated a few months ago and I watch DVDs and play Counter-strike at work. I sometimes play poker too. And occasionally answer the goddamn phone.

That's a little more like it, I spend so much time online if I can get a quick rich job like in computer graphics or web design then I can justify staying home and do I all my learning through books and travelling when I can afford.

However, I didn't do all to well in grade 9 computers, haven't taken a course since.

Oprah can you help me?


I am in third year University my marks are a problem, mostly because of a motivational issue. I find school interesting, but I think I've found my summer minimum wage job more rewarding than school and a 9-5 job that schooling is intended to prepare me for.

I have a fairly nice bank account so ultimately it comes down to what I enjoy more and what I wish to do in life.

My dream job right now is being a stay at home dad and to help raise kids, while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon.

Will I regret taking a year off school and working, or should I stick with school and get a half decent paying job that I might not enjoy?

don't quit, get your degree now while you have momentum, you never know when you might make it back to finish.

Just because you are studying to do something doesn't mean you have to do it.

It's good to have a degree to fall back on, take a year off after college. ;)

Oprah can you help me?


I am in third year University my marks are a problem, mostly because of a motivational issue. I find school interesting, but I think I've found my summer minimum wage job more rewarding than school and a 9-5 job that schooling is intended to prepare me for.

I have a fairly nice bank account so ultimately it comes down to what I enjoy more and what I wish to do in life.

My dream job right now is being a stay at home dad and to help raise kids, while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon.

Will I regret taking a year off school and working, or should I stick with school and get a half decent paying job that I might not enjoy?
I believe that in order to be the most productive, you must at minimum enjoy your job, no matter what you do.

If you hate your job, you won't want to be productive.

If your future wife agrees with your choices then, there shouldn't be a problem.

After all, there is no problem with the woman being the bread winner and the man staying at home caring for children, because the children will still have a primary care giver, the parent, with them during the most important development period.

If you plan carefully and consult with a financial planner, you could do it.

i say stick with it. if nothing else it will keep your options open if your dreams fall through.

i'm in the same position (but in my final year). another reason to stick with it is the fact that you'll have wasted a fuck-load of money if you drop out.

Why, do I have to be prepared for the rest of my life at 20.
I am not mature enough for that yet. I know from my family's perspective my mom and dad did well at school got good jobs, but I doubt how much they enjoy their jobs.

Two of my cousins did not go to post secondary education and though they still have their fun I don't think they are as well off as their brothers and sisters who stuck with school. I guess I can either take summer school or come back in my 4th year and hopefully pull of my bachelors degree (today's high school diploma) as I wont get into honours.

Maybe I should go home transfer universities so that my girlfriend can kick me in the rear (figuratively speaking), since I nor my parents were capable of motivating me enough. She does work in the University counselling department after all.

I just cant bother to work on my final two finals due on tuesday and thursday respectively, I just finished my two essays in two other subjects, handing them in late.:(

Edit: I went to a shrink two years ago, because my mom thought I was depressed. He was fine but the 100$ 1 hour sessions made me sick so I stopped figuring it wasn't worth it.

what are you studying to be? and what do you want to be?

I have a girlfriend we've been together for 6 months, long distance relationship and its not serious, but if turns into something good in the future, that would be great.

*sound of pussy whip cracking*

I say you should never do any job you don't enjoy and seeing as how your not enjoying this I suggest you at least give some thought into exploring the real world (and yes college degrees don’t mean shit in the real world;) )

leave college NOW.

there is no sense failing classes, getting lousy grades, being miserable. finishing college now isnt going to get you anything useful.

take the time off, GET A JOB, see how you like the non-college-degree job market. there are plenty of well paying jobs that dont require a degree. many of them require some training or some time at a vo-tech school. if you need that, you will find that that kind of learning is very different from college classes.

if you find later that you really really want the kind of job that a college degree gets you, you can go back and finish up. your grades will greatly improve if you have some motivation.

its your freaking life. live it the way you want.

Thank you all for your suggestions and support.

The best idea is to get a degree to keep my options open and to have some reward after the past three years of school. It's just that motivation and laziness is an issue.

I have an essay that I am writing up about environmental problem solving. I always wanted NSG to read over my work as I've seen other essays posted here before. I am taking bachelor of community design, basically urban planning undergraduate program.

Thank you all for your suggestions and support.

The best idea is to get a degree to keep my options open and to have some reward after the past three years of school. It's just that motivation and laziness is an issue.

is there anything slightly related yet more interesting that you can change your degree to? I mean so you don't lose most of your work, but you would feel better about finishing?

Stick with it - a year off can easily lead on to two, three or more years off and you could end up not going back at all and wasting the time you've spent on your degree so far. I think a lot of people in their final year suffer from lack of motivation etc, I've certainly seen a lot of my friends do it. Chances are you'll pull yourself out of it. If you can change to a degree you'd enjoy more, then do that. Then if you still want to, take a year off after your degree, that's what I'm doing :p

Stick with it. Almost nobody out there really enjoys their respective jobs, anyway, and I really doubt that "while my beautiful wife brings home most of the bacon" is going to be an easy dream to achieve.

Certainly not impossible. I did it and we don't even have kids. I do work though, but not more than 20 hours a week.

I would say that schooling is highly overrated. Depending on the job you have and the room for advancement, I would suggest dropping school and following your dream. When looking for your dream girl, stay away from bars and such, and be picky. 99% of them out there are not going to be into your game plan, they would rather it be the other way around, without the kids to boot.

He is right, it is not easy, but I can honestly say I am extremely happy in the choices I made leading up to finding my ideal woman. On a side note: I did complete college but that was more for my parents, who were paying, than for myself and it certainly didn't help in getting any jobs.

Will I regret taking a year off school and working, or should I stick with school and get a half decent paying job that I might not enjoy?Tough question. serious answer:

If you are married, talk it over with your wife. this kind of decision should be made together. It will take a lot of planing to live on one income.

other than that, My philosophy is to do what you like to do, not what you have to do.

leave college NOW.

there is no sense failing classes, getting lousy grades, being miserable. finishing college now isnt going to get you anything useful.

take the time off, GET A JOB, see how you like the non-college-degree job market. there are plenty of well paying jobs that dont require a degree. many of them require some training or some time at a vo-tech school. if you need that, you will find that that kind of learning is very different from college classes.

if you find later that you really really want the kind of job that a college degree gets you, you can go back and finish up. your grades will greatly improve if you have some motivation.

its your freaking life. live it the way you want.

i agree with this, for the most part.

myself, i was in my second year at uni when i left. i just couldn't take any more, but have since found that i have been clinically depressed for the last 3 years to one degree or another. leaving was the best thing i could have done, and it seems that way for the (original) OP (WTF happened to this thread btw???)

anyway i'm too tired to really go into it, but my advice from pretty much being in the same situation is to get a leave of absence sorted with your uni, take some time off to re-evaluate and work out what it is you want to do, and then either get stuck back into it wholeheartedly when you're ready (and do better than you would if you don't care), or do something else more rewarding

I want to get my undergraduate degree, but a university degree does not mean that you I get a good job.

In terms of my situation, it's not so much of me dropping out at this point, rather doing poorly on all my classes since I did not put in my best effort this semester.

I applied to graduate in November and depending on my marks I will probably end up asking for deferred graduation. So, if I pull my ass out of the gutter I will be taking a break no matter what.

Thinking of getting a job in Tuktoyuktuk or in some remote place of my country.