NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/

A veritable commedy goldmine.

The page is soooo 90s. It makes my eyes bleed and my cat laugh.

A spinning cross. How blasphemous.

http://www.capalert.com/capreports/

A veritable commedy goldmine.Hehehe. I remember a mormon friend of mine going through this for laughs when I was still in highschool. When he got to "American Psycho" he exclaimed "Whoah... Zero..." in a tone I will never forget :D

The page is soooo 90s. It makes my eyes bleed and my cat laugh.

At least read the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/fearandloathingin.htm) review.

A spinning cross. How blasphemous.

Impudence/Hate (I)
conceit
flatulence

This left me a little baffled.

This left me a little baffled.I find the empty advertising spaces very interesting... :D

At least read the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/fearandloathingin.htm) review.
Mm... public necking. Erotic!

At least read the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/fearandloathingin.htm) review.

That. Was. Amazing.

Throwing darts at pages of the bible! To even suggest that is highest blasphemy! Call the Spanish Inquisition!

FINDINGS / SCORING: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) CAP Thermometers

NOTE: Multiple occurrences of each item described below may be likely, definitely when plural.

Wanton Violence/Crime (W):
# imagery of historical unrest
# talk of committing murder then concealing it
# reckless driving including to avoid lawful arrest
# graphic traffic fatality
# planning murder
# firearms and threats with them
# story of sex murder with graphic gore
# gambling
# auto gunfire
# threat to burn home down
# knife threats
# threats to kill
# illegal flight to avoid prosecution
# recreational gunfire
# animated aggression
# talk of cannibalism
# accosting of a woman
# beating
# terrorizing a waitress with a lethal weapon
# reckless vehicular endangerment

Impudence/Hate (I)(1):
# 27 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary
# 102 uses of the most foul of the foul words
# flatulence
# lies
# vulgar gesture
# long sequences of insane behavior

Sex/Homosexuality (S):
# public necking
# centerfold nudity, repeatedly
# sexual innuendo and comments
# revealing dress
# claim of bestiality
# vulgar sex talk
# adults in underwear
# female nudity
# homosexual request with claim of homosexual rape
# homosexual suggestions
# child sex abuse
# planning sexual crime with a minor
# sexual stories
# inappropriate touch

Drugs/Alcohol (D):
# comments/talk of illegal drug consumption
# assorted illegal drugs and paraphernalia, repeatedly
# booze
# consumption of illegal drugs, many
# smoking (cigarettes), many - a nearly constant presence
# smoking illegal drugs
# drug induced intoxication/hallucinations/stupor, many - a nearly constant presence
# offering of illegal drugs and suggestions to consume, repeatedly
# drinking
# drunkenness by alcohol
# sniffing/snorting intoxicants, repeatedly

Offense to God (O)(2):
# 44 uses of God's name in vain with the four letter expletive plus 91 uses without
# mockery of faith, repeatedly
# demon imagery
# insult of God

Murder/Suicide (M)(3):
# none noted


Look, no murder suicide!

What are these people? Five?

These guys insult some of the best movies ever simply for outdated "blasphemy" codes.

Yeah, they trashed the 13th Warrior for its' blood, gore and violence - but check out their review for the Passion. Pffft.

Hypocrites.

Look, no murder suicide!I find it funny that 13th Warrior is more appropriate for children than 10 Things I Hate About You. To think that beheadings and murder are equally bad as teens getting drunk...

# terrorizing a waitress with a lethal weapon

Awesome! So the only people I can't terrorize with a lethal weapon are waitresses! Time for a bit of the old ulraviolence...

I love the "analysis" of Brokeback Mountain. (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/brokebackmountain_guestcomm.htm) Hilarious in its zaniness:

"Not once is there a mention of any of the dangers associated with the practice of homosexuality: the typically shortened lifespan; the plethora of diseases not typical of a monogamous heterosexual marriage; the hundreds of partners typically encountered in a homosexual practitioner's shortened lifetime; the violence typically reported in most homosexual relationships; the tendency to practice pedophilia[...]"

Awesome! So the only people I can't terrorize with a lethal weapon are waitresses! Time for a bit of the old ulraviolence...

*ch-chink*

Let's roll, muthafucka'!

(goes off to terrorize the neighbors)

- All free? Free my ass. What are you, a fuckin' commie? Huh?

- No, I ain't no commie.

- Well, you better not be. I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either.

Look, no murder suicide!

Yes, but "flatulence" (from God's own intestinal design, I might add), use of the "three/four letter word vocaubulary" (three letter? Ass? THAT's in the BIBLE!), and so on.

As I posted in the "Harry Potter = Satan" thread, some Christians enjoy the paranoia afforded them by the Epistle to the Ephesians (where much of the "armor of God" and demon-fighting talk that books like "This Present Darkness" get their boogeymen from).

Them movin' pictures is...

http://www.masaladose.com/wp-content/files/DarkSided.jpg

...dark-sided!

so what would a passing grade be? 50, 60, 70?

Actually, their synopsis of 8 Mile (the first random thing I clicked) was fairly spot on, and fair. They said the acting and story were good.

course, I didn't read the rest of the synopsis, so I suppose it could have been a rant about how everyone associated with the movie was going to hell. :rolleyes:

so what would a passing grade be? 50, 60, 70?

100

I love the "analysis" of Brokeback Mountain. (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/brokebackmountain_guestcomm.htm) Hilarious in its zaniness:

"Not once is there a mention of any of the dangers associated with the practice of homosexuality: the typically shortened lifespan; the plethora of diseases not typical of a monogamous heterosexual marriage; the hundreds of partners typically encountered in a homosexual practitioner's shortened lifetime; the violence typically reported in most homosexual relationships; the tendency to practice pedophilia[...]"

Oh no, even funnier is the one for Billy Elliot.

But later, as Billy was leaving for the dance school, he kissed Michael's cheek goodbye, as if Billy was saying "It's okay that you are homosexual." As brutal as that previous sentence sounds to modern morality, while we must love the sinner and do what we can to help him/her break the bondage to sin (even our own), we must NOT accept sin. Even as God hates sin [Prov 6:16-19], so must we also hate sin, just not the sinner. Young Michael appeared to have been a product of authority-figure example, i.e., his father's cross-dressing. Michael did it, too. And Michael ended up homosexual (an *excellent* application of the warning in Luke 17:2). And therein lies a good example of "How Did They Do It": an example of those in the victim's circle of influence causing the sin.

Yeah, I totally ended up a fag because my dad cross-dresses.

Yeah, I totally ended up a fag because my dad cross-dresses.

Ugh, the thought of my father in drag... *shudders*

On the 1973 version of The Wicker Man:

Sexual Immorality (S)
The 1973 version is saturated with sexually immoral behaviors and imagery. If you can imagine a throng of paganistic women slithering nude about a boiling cauldron, you have an idea of the caliber of sexual immorality in the 1973 version. And nudity is not all there is to the sexually immoral content of the 1973 version. Inspect the listing in the Findings/Scoring section for a full accounting.

Losers. They evidently didn't actually watch the movie - the women were wearing flesh-coloured bodysuits and they were dancing about, and leaping through a bonfire inside a stone circle. No boiling cauldron.

No credibility.

Scary Movie and Sin City scored 0. I really liked those. I should be ashamed of myself.:(

I love the "analysis" of Brokeback Mountain. (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/brokebackmountain_guestcomm.htm) Hilarious in its zaniness:

"Not once is there a mention of any of the dangers associated with the practice of homosexuality: the typically shortened lifespan; the plethora of diseases not typical of a monogamous heterosexual marriage; the hundreds of partners typically encountered in a homosexual practitioner's shortened lifetime; the violence typically reported in most homosexual relationships; the tendency to practice pedophilia[...]"

Well that there must be the kind of thing they were referring to with -
"The #1 Christian entertainment media analysis service on the Internet. We give you OBJECTIVE tools NO ONE ELSE CAN"

The bawling infants of the "childcare action project" are an old-school source of internet laughs.

COMMENT: The central theme was about a bad girl's desire to kill dogs to get their coats. Animals have been used to clothe humans for thousands of years. But what made objective analysis of this movie difficult was the dogs were well personified with human personality traits by the script writers and choreographers, thus giving the viewer the sense that to kill the dogs would be akin to killing human babies. While many people indeed seem to value their dogs more than humans, we cannot permit elevatation of the dog to human status. God clearly gave us dominion over the beasts of the earth. If we were to elevate the dog to human status, we would indeed be lowering the human to the dog level.

Hahaha, what a brilliant criticism of 101 Dalmatians.