NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.


I know with a certain family member, she came out back in the 80s, and half of my family (very funditastic) were angry, and very hurtful, and to this day still don't converse with her. I find it appalling to think that family or friends could do such a thing as that. And to those out there that face(d) a similiar situation, my heart goes out to you.

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.


I know with a certain family member, she came out back in the 80s, and half of my family (very funditastic) were angry, and very hurtful, and to this day still don't converse with her. I find it appalling to think that family or friends could do such a thing as that. And to those out there that face(d) a similiar situation, my heart goes out to you.

My parents are catholic, I just never bothered to tell them I am bi I don't feel like being disowned

...so your not gay...:(

Hehehe stephan lynch

Here we are
Dear old friends
You and i drunk again
laughs have been had
tears have been shed
maybe the whisky has gone to my head
but if i were gay
i would give you my heart
and if i were gay
you'd be my work of art
and if i were gay
we would swim in romance
but im not gay
so get your hand out of my pants

its not that i dont care
i do
i just dont see myself in you
another time another scene
i'd be right behind you if you know what i mean
coz if i were gay
i would give soul
and if i were gay
i would give you my whole... being
and if i were gay
we would tear down the walls
But I'm Not gay
so wont you stop cupping my Ba... Hand


we've never hugged
we've never kissed
i've never been intimate with your fist
you have opened brand new doors
get over here and drop ... your ... Drawers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvypDDtbE6w (hehehe hearing it is better)

You manipulated me.

As for your question in the OP, it has never been a problem in my family. Everyone knows everyone's sexual orientation, has always known it, and has always been entirely comfortable with it.

Not a problem in my family. Next?

My parents are catholic, I just never bothered to tell them I am bi I don't feel like being disowned

I don't quite understand why family would be like that. I mean, even if one doesn't agree with your decision, shouldn't they love you the same as before?

From a Christian pespective, I'd expect people to be like Christ, in the sense that even though they might not agree with something you are doing, they should still be there for you with open arms. However, its the opposite with most Christians, and they are the ones usually isolating those that come out.

...so your not gay...:(

Sorry to disappoint :p

I don't quite understand why family would be like that. I mean, even if one doesn't agree with your decision, shouldn't they love you the same as before?

From a Christian pespective, I'd expect people to be like Christ, in the sense that even though they might not agree with something you are doing, they should still be there for you with open arms. However, its the opposite with most Christians, and they are the ones usually isolating those that come out.
I don't know after the whole priest thing I just don't think they could handle it. That was enough family crisis for me for one life time

I'm bi, my mom was more than supportive (mostly because I have better taste in women than men). My grandparents are very homophobic. I've told them numerous times but they still just choose not to hear me when I tell them I'm dating a girl. Alot of my friends I haven't come out to. It's kinda hard when they make comments about how their neice or sister is becoming "more dikey" as the years roll on. Yes, I know that I should just find new friends, but that's not alway easy.

Well, here's the gist of it...

My parents weren't entirely religious, although they did flirt with various denominations of xianity, but generally speaking were conservative "redneck" sorts who at the age of about five or six when they caught a male friend & I who were experimenting dragged each of us off to separate rooms and gave us a talkin' to.

I first was with my mother who told me, "Boy don't make love with boys, boys only make love with girls. God HATES boys who make love with boys and sends them to HELL to burn forever when they die." Ok, understandable enough, Ma, I get the point.

My parents then switched rooms and my father, in a fit of rage started screaming at me, "ALL FAGS SHOULD BURN HELL, HOMOSEXUALS ARE THE DOWNFALL OF MORALITY IN AMERICA, DON'T YOU EVER LET ME CATCH YOU DOING THAT AGAIN, YOU UNDERSTAND?!" Whoa, Papa, I'm so scared I wasn't listening to what you said, and how the hell do I know what a "fag" or "morality" is? Thanks to my extremely vivid recollection of the experience I can now decipher his meaning.

When I turned eleven I decided that I needed to join a church, the Catholic specifically, mostly because I realized this disfiguring, disgusting, immoral thing inside of me. I went to Mass every morning, prayed fervently for God to wash my soul clean of this abomination that had grown inside me. I told no one.

In High School when I didn't date anyone or express an interest in anyone and people inquired I simply "confessed" to them that I was asexual - no desire, no big deal. I was considering the priesthood, but the pressure of holding this great secret inside of me was too much. I lived a lie every moment of my life. I perceived my affliction as this great darkness, razorwire at the periphery of consciousness constantly threatening to overwhelm me. "I must remain vigilant," I thought to myself, "I cannot let the light go out."

I was so thoroughly convinced of the immorality of my actions that one time when my policy of non-masturbation was breeched, was coincidentally the day that our toy poodle was involved in a tragic accident that killed her. Yes, folks, I was convinced that my masturbation killed our puppy. No shit.

When I transferred schools in ninth grade I met another gay teen - an out gay teen - and he wasn't a baby raper or a degenerate or a horrible person. My thinking about my "affliction" began to change. Eventually, the immense stress of living a lie (think Jew in Nazi Occupied Territory) was too much. When I was fifteen I attempted suicide. My father was away in Texas on business. When my mother told him what had happened his only words were, "If Jason finds out he's gay in therapy, I don't want to know." Click. End of conversation. No visit in hospital, no return home trip.

Turns out, I did tell my therapist of my orientation and she just happened to have taken special training in Chicago to help gay youth cope. Here began a long journey of becoming comfortable with myself. For about six months I was in therapy and my sister asked the big question. I told her the truth. My sister burst out in tears, sobbing hysterically and then promised me she wouldn't reveal it to our mother (she would have never, under any circumstances, told my father) and technically she didn't. Instead she asked my mother if she had ever asked me if I were gay.

It was the super bowl when the Green Bay Packers played (32, maybe?) that mother popped the question. We were at a super bowl party and with football not really being my forte', I excused myself early and hoofed it home. My mother followed minutes after and told me to sit down.

Nervously she sat down across from me, wringing her hands, staring at the floor. "Jason, are you gay?" I was floored! I'd played this situation out so many times in my head I had no doubt exactly what I'd say.

First things first, "Do you really want to know?" I stared her straight (ha!) in the eye, never wavering, performing exactly as I had imagined. She answered in the affirmative. I answered her truthfully. Again with the tears. Then the inevitable questions, "Are you sure? Are you certain it's not just a phase? When did you know?"

Her head fell downward in a pitiable gesture then snapped back up, her expression smoothed, her eyes widened, a mother afraid for the safety of her son, "DON'T tell your father. He can never know." I nodded and told her I understood.

A year and a half passed without any further mention of it. Then, one morning, my mother shook me awake before the sun bruised the horizon. "Last night," she said, still half asleep herself, "Your father and I were drinking," big surprise there, "and he asked me if you were gay and I told him. He promised not to do anything stupid, but if he acts weird around you, that's why." Then she slipped out of my room, my heart hammering in my chest, suddenly more awake than I'd ever been in the entirety of my short existence.

No violence, no screaming, I didn't end up homeless. I ended up fatherless. Papa didn't speak to me for six months, give or take a couple weeks. Didn't look at me. Didn't acknowledge me.

And I hated him for it. I hated him because I realized that it wasn't a problem with ME, I wasn't disfigured because when God washed me with hyssop it did not wash clean. He feared me - as do all homophobes - and when you fear greatly you either recoil or lash out. He did love me...once, and couldn't lash out, so he erased my existence.

It's some nine years since I first came out to my mother, about seven since my father started talking to me again. We've all healed in a lot of ways. In me they saw their biggotry and their hate, and in a very xian way, chose to Love me instead. Their Love redeemed them.

As for me, I still struggle to overcome my indoctrination at such a young age. We all have things we struggle with, mine no larger or scarier than yours, just different.

J.

*licks zilam*



*reads op*
:(

-snip-
A rather hopeful little story there. I'm glad things worked out in the end, more or less.

My mum found my porn. I told her. She still occasionally asks me, in a hopeful way, "are you still gay, then?" I can tell she doesn't like it when I bring home boyfriends or mention meeting six foot five black transexuals with blue hair at the local gay bar, but I don't particularly care what anyone thinks of me.

My mum found my porn.
:eek:
Gay or straight, that’s never good.

I know that when I tried to tell my parents that I'm asexual (not attracted to either gender), my mom assumed that I was a lesbian. Now she knows that that's not true, that I'm not attracted to males, but I'm not attracted to females, either. My dad seemed to accept it, sort of, but still kind of asks me sometimes how I know that I don't want to date or get married or any of that stuff.

:eek:
Gay or straight, that’s never good.

Wasn't a big problem with my mom... for whatever reason.

ack... telling people you're gay is a big deal? I'm having enough trouble accepting that I might be straight! +_+

My parents will never know because I will either be disowned or shot. One or the other. Catholic Russian family. Wow those are fun.

I'm bisexual. I've dated one girl for about a year, and since then I can't find one I want to date. I'm picky.

My parents will never know because I will either be disowned or shot. One or the other. Catholic Russian family. Wow those are fun.

I'm bisexual. I've dated one girl for about a year, and since then I can't find one I want to date. I'm picky.

Well, even a Catholic Russian family is far easier going than a Southern Baptist family in regards to sexuality. So, consider yourself lucky in that regard. It could be worse. :D

You haven't met my parents.

I wonder what these parents thought when they decided they wanted children.... how can you not be prepared for your child being gay? It's a bit like not being prepared for your kid being shortsighted, or a genius in astrophysics, or green eyed.

You haven't met my parents.

You haven't met a Southern Baptist.

Also, even worse, the Westboro Baptist Church. If you don't know who they are, type in Fred Phelps into a search engine. You'll be rather unpleasantly surprised.

But, it was a joke, and it would be all but impossible to come out to many devout Catholics(However the Church itself is more "understanding" than some other sects), I will admit(Coming from a largely Catholic Family).

Once again i am getting myself into a discussion about Gay/Lesbian...well i have to say first off i know a few people who are gay/lesbian, a couple are good friends of mine, and if someone hurts a friend of mine they get it worse, now i am not saying i am some knight out to do battle with everyone in the world. It just "tickes" me off the deep end when people are afraid to come out, i personally dont have a problem with it, it's your choice, just dont try to push me into it thats all.

I'm not gay, but my parents might think I am because I haven't dated anyone yet. Dammit, I have no idea how to approach people and talk to them, even if I don't want to go out with them.

Gay people are all right in my book. They're people like I'm people and everyone's people, and they like people just like I like people. And if God gets mad at me, he can go smite himself. Damn angry guy ridin' around on his cloud with his big dang beard and his lightning bolts.

Eh, I haven't told my family I'm Bi, although the smarter members have figured it out. Both of them.

The rest are jerks who I don't intend to tell at all.

I'm not gay myself, but in the band I was sitting by the "gay group" at our biggest competition. They're cool. They told me that if I wasn't going to "contribute to their forcefield of warmth" or something then I was evil. :p They don't hit on straight girls at all.

At my high school everybody in my county was divided over the Gay-Straight Alliance. This county is run by Southern Baptists, which is mostly why this was an issue. One of the girls in the "gay group" started it up. :nod:

I used to be a homophobe, in fact that was the time I was a fundie (at age 12). Fortunately I'm a libertarian at 14 and was no longer fundie-ish when I came here. :D

I'm not gay, but my parents might think I am because I haven't dated anyone yet. Dammit, I have no idea how to approach people and talk to them, even if I don't want to go out with them.

Consider it a blessing rather than a problem. I don't have any of the relationship-related problems my fellow teens have due to their being encouraged to date at twelve. Instead, I have a lot of other ones. Ok, maybe not entirely a blessing...
and now I'm late and it's getting dark outside and I don't like walking through the streets of this town at night, so I really am leaving this time.

I'm not gay, but my parents might think I am because I haven't dated anyone yet. Dammit, I have no idea how to approach people and talk to them, even if I don't want to go out with them.

Gay people are all right in my book. They're people like I'm people and everyone's people, and they like people just like I like people. And if God gets mad at me, he can go smite himself. Damn angry guy ridin' around on his cloud with his big dang beard and his lightning bolts.

That's why I am atheist/maltheist. :)

Interesting... Fass opened up, but then deleted the post. If I was an amateur psychologist I would probably make some sort of analytical remark...

Interesting... Fass opened up, but then deleted the post. If I was an amateur psychologist I would probably make some sort of analytical remark...

I just think he doesn't like spreading his personal life all over the internet....well, I read it, and I'm sorry things turned out that way for him....you never know, maybe she'll come around to the idea, eventually...:)

Zilam, you liar.

My parents know I experimented with homosexuality when I was younger. So does my wife. My parents think it was just a phase I outgrew, but my wife understands that I have no aversion to homosexuality at all, but my soulmate is a woman. :)

I wonder what these parents thought when they decided they wanted children.... how can you not be prepared for your child being gay? It's a bit like not being prepared for your kid being shortsighted, or a genius in astrophysics, or green eyed.

Parents are rarely fully prepared.

Interesting... Fass opened up, but then deleted the post. If I was an amateur psychologist I would probably make some sort of analytical remark...

... which would be BS like most "amateur" psychology. I just remembered that sharing anything personal with people on General isn't just pointless, but also stupid in the long run.

I just think he doesn't like spreading his personal life all over the internet....
Yeah, it's probably just that. I do the same thing (but then my personal life is probably too boring to write about anyway).

well, I read it, and I'm sorry things turned out that way for him....you never know, maybe she'll come around to the idea, eventually...:)
Maybe. Not wanting to be a downer, but it doesn't sound too promising.

... which would be BS like most "amateur" psychology.
Probably.

I just remembered that sharing anything person with people on General isn't just pointless, but also stupid in the long run.
You mean from a privacy point of view, or because it could be used against you in a "debate", or something else?

One of my friends is Bi. I believe she came out in a fashion such as "HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LOSER!!!"

Her mom's a big conservative christian type.

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.

I don't plan on informing my family about my sexuality. Frankly, whomever I fuck, it's none of their business. Really, the only thing that would change is that my mom would be even more distant, and my dad would call me a fag even more often. I wouldn't tell my brother because I'm afraid he'd think he has to accomodate for me, and make less gay jokes, and be sensitive. Fuck that, gay jokes are funny, I don't need accomodation.

Why do most people seem to say Christianity and sexual "deviancy" are mutually exclusive? I'm Catholic, and I've yet to see a Commandment that says "thou shalt not love the cock and have a cock thyself"...

You mean from a privacy point of view, or because it could be used against you in a "debate", or something else?

Mostly privacy point of view, but also because people here aren't the sharpest tools in the shed and having them know too much about you en masse is not too appealing.

Used against me in a debate? Who'd give a shit?

Why do most people seem to say Christianity and sexual "deviancy" are mutually exclusive? I'm Catholic, and I've yet to see a Commandment that says "thou shalt not love the cock and have a cock thyself"...

Trust me, it's there, right after "Thou shalt not have a coherent social policy"

Trust me, it's there, right after "Thou shalt not have a coherent social policy"

Let's not drag this off-topic into religion, please.

Used against me in a debate? Who'd give a shit?

True, it wouldn't be "hurtful"; it might be annoying though (and there're enough stupid responses here without giving them material for ad hominem nonsense).

Let's not drag this off-topic into religion, please.

I wasn't planning to

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.


I know with a certain family member, she came out back in the 80s, and half of my family (very funditastic) were angry, and very hurtful, and to this day still don't converse with her. I find it appalling to think that family or friends could do such a thing as that. And to those out there that face(d) a similiar situation, my heart goes out to you.

I lyke finna phreaked out!!11! I thought you where lyke actually homo, but lyke omigawd!!!111!

Why do most people seem to say Christianity and sexual "deviancy" are mutually exclusive? I'm Catholic, and I've yet to see a Commandment that says "thou shalt not love the cock and have a cock thyself"...

It says something like "If a man sleeps with man as he sleeps with woman, he shall be stoned"

Note how it doesn't prohibit girls. Could it be that Jesus was running an all-lesbian whorehouse?

Nah, thought it might be Dan Brown's next book, Lol.

I lyke almost phreaked out!!11! I thought you where lyke actually homo, but lyke omigawd!!!111!

You're being sarcstic, right? O.o

It says something like "If a man sleeps with man as he sleeps with woman, he shall be stoned"

Note how it doesn't prohibit girls. Could it be that Jesus was running an all-lesbian whorehouse?

Nah, thought it might be Dan Brown's next book, Lol.

It also seems that the old men in Congress who want gay marriage banned like to look at lesbian porn... Oo

It says something like "If a man sleeps with man as he sleeps with woman, he shall be stoned"
I often am. :D
Seriously, I disregard a lot of the Bible. It's mostly just political writing, not the "word of God" or whatever you want to call it.
It also seems that the old men in Congress who want gay marriage banned like to look at lesbian porn... Oo
Honestly, who doesn't?

You're being sarcstic, right? O.o

That's for me to know, and you to find out.
*Twilight Zone theme song*

That's for me to know, and you to find out.
*Twilight Zone theme song*

AAHHH!!!! Now it's in my head! DAMN YOU!!! :eek: :mad:

AAHHH!!!! Now it's in my head! DAMN YOU!!! :eek: :mad:

Would you prefer the Lumberjack Song?
*I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers, I put on women's clothing, and hang around in bars*

AAHHH!!!! Now it's in my head! DAMN YOU!!! :eek: :mad:

All in a good days work! :D

Would you prefer the Lumberjack Song?

Never heard that.

I JUST got "Christmas on Parade" out of my head too..... :(

Would you prefer the Lumberjack Song?

A LUMBERJACK!

(piano vamp)

Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!


Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspendies and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspendies?? and a .... a Bra????
(spoken, raggedly) What's this? Wants to be a *girlie*? Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!

CHORUS

All: He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaaaayyy..... (BONG)

Never heard that.

I JUST got "Christmas on Parade" out of my head too..... :(

:eek::eek::eek:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wDrIMzHzQQk

:eek::eek::eek:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wDrIMzHzQQk

I guess videos are better than lyrics...:( but...*cries*

A rather hopeful little story there. I'm glad things worked out in the end, more or less.

Thanks! Life is good. :D

J.

It says something like "If a man sleeps with man as he sleeps with woman, he shall be stoned"

Note how it doesn't prohibit girls. Could it be that Jesus was running an all-lesbian whorehouse?

Nah, thought it might be Dan Brown's next book, Lol.

Well, girls are better at ...everything ^^

I know that when I tried to tell my parents that I'm asexual (not attracted to either gender), my mom assumed that I was a lesbian. Now she knows that that's not true, that I'm not attracted to males, but I'm not attracted to females, either. My dad seemed to accept it, sort of, but still kind of asks me sometimes how I know that I don't want to date or get married or any of that stuff.

Just a quick question: how old are you? Because that will probably change soon.

I'm bisexual. My parents don't know, but they told me explicitly at thirteen that they wouldn't mind if I were gay, and not to worry about it. Both of them have gay friends and both are adamantly in favor of gay rights, so I'm not worried in the slightest.

I haven't told them for two reasons, mainly - firstly, I don't like reminding them that I'm a sexual being, and secondly, I have no idea how to start such a conversation. They don't assume I'm straight too much (I have very loudly attacked the social enforcement of heterosexual monogamy too many times in their presence) so I see no real reason to alter the status quo.

Now, my friends, on the other hand - that's another issue entirely. Some of them are very mildly homophobic (either of the "I'm not homophobic, but gays bother me!" or the "the Bible says this, but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it!" variety), and I don't want to open that can of worms... the fully accepting ones, I've mostly told already.

Just a quick question: how old are you? Because that will probably change soon.

I'm 16.

i have yet to come out, but let's just say this.. one day they found a little "stuff" on the computer. they both freaked out more then you can EVER imagine!! so i made up some lie.

i plan to come out when i move out of this home, but for now, noo, my parents are way too un gay friendly per se.

Now, my friends, on the other hand - that's another issue entirely. Some of them are very mildly homophobic (either of the "I'm not homophobic, but gays bother me!" or the "the Bible says this, but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it!" variety), and I don't want to open that can of worms... the fully accepting ones, I've mostly told already.

Those are the worst. I prefer gaybashers by a lot, because at least I can fight them. The best I can do about that kind of closed-minded ignorance is to simply ignore it, but it's still grating. Why are you friends with them?

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.


I know with a certain family member, she came out back in the 80s, and half of my family (very funditastic) were angry, and very hurtful, and to this day still don't converse with her. I find it appalling to think that family or friends could do such a thing as that. And to those out there that face(d) a similiar situation, my heart goes out to you.

damn, I was hopeing you were really gay, ;) :fluffle: ...

jk...I have a fiancee....:fluffle:

Those are the worst. I prefer gaybashers by a lot, because at least I can fight them.

Yeah, I feel that way sometimes too.

Why are you friends with them?

Because I'm too nice a person to tell them to go fuck themselves, especially when they're pretty nice people otherwise. But I've come pretty close once or twice.

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.


I know with a certain family member, she came out back in the 80s, and half of my family (very funditastic) were angry, and very hurtful, and to this day still don't converse with her. I find it appalling to think that family or friends could do such a thing as that. And to those out there that face(d) a similiar situation, my heart goes out to you.
...man, you seriously disappointed me. The world could use more gay Christians. Maybe some of the idiot Christians would back off.

Zilam, you tease!

I haven't told them for two reasons, mainly - firstly, I don't like reminding them that I'm a sexual being, Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I try to forget that my parents are, too. I like to think of myself as immaculately conceived...lol.

<shudder>

...man, you seriously disappointed me. The world could use more gay Christians. Maybe some of the idiot Christians would back off.

I'm Christian... and straight... but I have a two friends, one bisexual and one gay. The gay one told his parents he's straight, which makes it difficult for him to have a boyfriend (yet he manages somehow:rolleyes:) and my bisexual friend's father is gay, so her family is used to both homo and heterosexual people. Coming from my Straight Christian point of view *dodges sharp objects* I'd say that coming out should be gradual instead of all of a sudden, just so you don't freak people out too much. It shouldn't happen, yet it does, so we just have to deal with people freaking out. I love my family's ways though, my mom keeps coming up to me and saying, "Hey, if you ever think you're a lesbian, we will love you all the same..." so I'm like, "Okay, Mom, if I ever become a lesbian I'll let ya know..." but my family knows my friends, hetero or homosexual, and they love them all (which is a bonus, whose parents loves all their friends?). My point being: Not all straight Christians are against gay people!

...man, you seriously disappointed me. The world could use more gay Christians. Maybe some of the idiot Christians would back off.Hey, just having supportive Christians is nice.

Hey, just having supportive Christians is nice.

Yes, but gay Christians is a much more in your face obvious show of how stupid idiot Christians are.

...man, you seriously disappointed me. The world could use more gay Christians. Maybe some of the idiot Christians would back off.

You have me. I'm openly bi, and Catholic.

Is that enough? Is it?!

Not a problem in this household cause no gays, but my friend's father got upset and kicked his brother out of the house when he told him that was he gay about a year ago. They found him in at a friends house about a week later. In my country, the population is chinese dominant and many parents still follow the old chinese values and so being gay is condemned

You have me. I'm openly bi, and Catholic.

Is that enough? Is it?!
It's a very good start.

It's a very good start.

Are you saying I need to be full-on homosexual? Because I won't give up women, even for you. :D

Are you saying I need to be full-on homosexual? Because I won't give up women, even for you. :D

No, all I meant is that we need more Christians like you, who are gay or bi and openly admit it and whatnot.

I'm gay. PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE

I'm gay. PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE

Well, that depends on how attractive you are.

I'm gay. PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE

Being gay is so cliché these days...

I'm gay. PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE

Do you want me to stare at you?

Not gay, but I really don't give a damn if my kids(In the future) would be. I have no hate for homosexuals at all, and have done enough research to understand that it is most definately not a choice(And even if it were, I wouldn't give a damn). Really, I am indifferent towards homosexuals, just as I am indifferent towards everyone else. I'm all for gay rights and marriage, as I really don't see how in the hell it's going to be a bad thing.

That being said, I have kissed a gay guy before. It wasn't to experiment or anything, really, just for the hell of it. Good friend of mine, at a small party with alot of good friends, going over all of the guys that I know he has had sex with(Some were surprising at the moment, as they were openly homophobic, but it really does explain a bit about closet cases), and we figured what the hell, why not? So meh, that's really my only gay experience. A tad off topic, I know...

That all being said, I gotta say though that I really don't give a damn of what sexuality one is. It does annoy me to say the protests and such at my school, because I really don't give a damn. I understand why they do it, but some things actually work against what you are trying achieve and such, and often times these give rather poor attention to your cause. That, and I really don't want to hear about it. Just as I don't want to hear about other males talking up their ass about how they had sex with some chick, I don't want to hear about homosexuals having sex with other guys/girls. I find the entire act rather disgusting, really.... but that's for another thread, I suppose.

As to the actual question, I find it sad and disgusting that parents love for their children can be so materialistic. What ever happened to unconditional love? If a parent cannot accept their kids being gay, they are not are definately not good parents. But yet, it is difficult for many to "come out", as so many parents just cannot accept it. Tis a sad world.

Zilam is a hater and is setting you up for a beating!:eek: :(

Let me see...

Me and my mom were out driving, trying to obtain tickets for some concert, and I look at her and say "Mom, I'm gay." *awkward nanosecond of silence* She says "I know you are."

This is me: :eek:, followed by a "How?" in which she replies "I'm your mother I know more than you think." Which just made me go :eek: again because I started to think "OH NOEZ! WHAT ELSE DOES SHE KNOW?!!!!"

Before her though, I told my brother and my sister. My brother was like "So what?" and my sister tried the "Well... maybe you're bi" thing for a while, but now just accepts it.

I have not told my dad, and I don't plan on doing so for a while, because I know he won't take it well.

I have the best (Or worst?) family.

Despite leaning predominately towards females, My grandmother is encouraging me to settle down with a nice girl (Or guy, she always adds "Or guy, I don't mind, that's not hte important part").

My mother expects me to be gay, merely because more males have shared my bed than females, but that's normal, it's called sleepovers :)

So yeah, I haven't had to come out, everyone's just assumed, and I have never felt like putting them on track (Although htey're not too far off, I'm pan with preferences for those who missed it)

Respect to the people that came out of the closet even when they knew their parents/family might not have been exactly...supportive.

I'm curious for the ones that have 'come out' are any of you only children? has this created any additional problems with your parents regarding grandchildren? Or anything else?

Yeah, props to them. My mom is an uber liberal so I knew right away she wouldn't give two shits, and to be honest I would never have told her if I knew she wouldn't like it.

Everyone, I am not.

You're gay... Who cares?!

Anyones sexual prefference doesn't bother me whatsoever.
I do wonder how anyone can be attracted to manflesh but then again I wonder how people don't like chocolate.
Its just a thing. No need for anyone to get excited about.

And for those who mock him for his anouncement.
Why would you?
I see no point to go specifically out of your way just to take someone down who has done no harm to you at all.
Perhaps Zil lives in a society where gays aren't accepted, and needs to talk about to those who he feels wouldn't reject him and would understand him.
I for one am honoured to have been taken into his confidence even though he doesn't even know me.

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.


I know with a certain family member, she came out back in the 80s, and half of my family (very funditastic) were angry, and very hurtful, and to this day still don't converse with her. I find it appalling to think that family or friends could do such a thing as that. And to those out there that face(d) a similiar situation, my heart goes out to you.

my parents work for these lunatics (http://www.fltoday.com). one day my parents were watching tv with me in the room, and an ad for a retarded reality tv show called "boy meets boy" came on. my dad had just got done watching something involving lots of death, explosions, pointless sex, and spectacular greed and waste, which he said nothing about. the gay dating show, however, elicited the response "OH HOW LOW CAN YOU GET!?!". I responded "religious bigotry is pretty low" and left the room. my mother came down to the other room where I was reading in the next half hour or so, and confronted me. apperently I'd been standing up for gay people alot in the last week or so, so she was curious.

"Nathan, are your recent comments regarding homosexuality of a political or personal nature?" (yes, this is how we talk in my family - we are all nerds)
"both." I replied.

she burst into tears and said she would have to tell my father eventually, but she had to wait for a while to make sure he didn't take it the wrong way. she wept at random for the next week or so before telling him, and then *he* started crying all the time. I didn't clean the dishes or something during this weepy period of theirs, and my dad responded "nathan PLEASE, I'm afraid your mother is going to kill herself! please try to be helpful!"

I suppose the sensitive thing to do would've been to be concerned about my mother, but I'm sorry, it was completely obnoxious of her to act like HER life was over because I liked boys. it pissed me off - she did nothing of the sort, and almost nothing has ever been said on the subject since. there is an awkward pause whenever gay people come on TV. my brother and I were banned from watching Will and Grace because it was sinful (...lol) and I was taken aside, and told not to tell my brother anything, because it might distort his developement. I'm pretty sure he knows anyway, but whatever. my parents offered to introduce me to an ex-gay person (read: a religious bisexual) and to put me in therapy. I declined on both counts. my friend's father, a psychologist, suggested *they* go into therapy instead...haha. they went to a christian councilor to learn to cope with the truly horrifying nature of their son's affections. my mother tried to convince me that I was just intellegent and sensitive, for a while. the initial episode was when I was 15, so between 3 and 4 years ago. it's gotten to the point they can mention the subject (as in hear the word "gay") without crying, but out of kindness I mostly avoid talking about it. blargh.

I have the best (Or worst?) family.

Despite leaning predominately towards females, My grandmother is encouraging me to settle down with a nice girl (Or guy, she always adds "Or guy, I don't mind, that's not hte important part").

My mother expects me to be gay, merely because more males have shared my bed than females, but that's normal, it's called sleepovers :)

So yeah, I haven't had to come out, everyone's just assumed, and I have never felt like putting them on track (Although htey're not too far off, I'm pan with preferences for those who missed it)

I would kill for a grandmother like that. I seriously fear that coming out to my dad's parents would cause one or both of them to have a stroke...

Ok I am not really gay, but I hope i got some attention. What I want to know is how the gay/lesbian community on NS came out to their families, or how they plan to. Was it emotional? Was your family supportive? Where did you do it? etc.... Im just curious as how people go about telling their family how they feel and all that.

You know...I'm not sure I ever did "come out" to my parents. I mean, I never sat them down and told them that I like having sex with women. I would usually mention it if I became involved with a woman, just like I would mention it if I became involved with a man, and I just kind of figured that it wouldn't make a whole helluva lot of difference. So far it hasn't seemed to.

Stupid Zilam, getting our hopes up. :mad: ;)

Anyway... I came out to my parents with the indirect approach: sexy man calanders on my wall in full view and so forth. Luckily, I had rather liberal parents, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

You manipulated me.

As for your question in the OP, it has never been a problem in my family. Everyone knows everyone's sexual orientation, has always known it, and has always been entirely comfortable with it.

Eh. Same basic thing here. My uncle's gay, and nobody really cares. He acts obnoxiously feminine though. And on a 6'4 hairy bald guy, that looks really weird.

My mum found my porn. I told her. She still occasionally asks me, in a hopeful way, "are you still gay, then?" I can tell she doesn't like it when I bring home boyfriends or mention meeting six foot five black transexuals with blue hair at the local gay bar, but I don't particularly care what anyone thinks of me.
:eek:
Gay or straight, that’s never good.

I dunno. My dad found lesbian porn I had looked at on his computer and just told me to use my own laptop.

Never heard that.
....

Never ... (gasp!) ... heard the Lumberjack Song?
Being young isn't unequivocably good. You missed the Nixon thing too. It was a hoot!

That was shockingly off-topic, huh?
The lumberjack song is about cross-dressing, totally different issue. And so-o-o easy to come out with. Skirt and a t-shirt did it for me.

Yeah, so, before coming out (in the sense "mom and dad, sit down I've got something to tell you") you'd surely try just not hiding so much. Become more and more open about who you fancy or are getting it on with until one of THEM mention it. If they don't, ever, recognize the plain fact then perhaps it's better to let them avoid it.

There comes a point when you're the adult, and they are the the child. Advanced age is a bit like childhood, an involuntary condition for which the responsible person makes allowances.

Well, that depends on how attractive you are.

Oh girl, believe me, I'm FABULOUS.

I told my mam while I was a wee bit drunk last Christmas eve, she hasn't mentioned it since. My brother who is two years younger than me knows and he's grand with it. Don't think I have the courage to tell my Dad yet... As for the extended Irish Catholic family, it just isn't going to happen. I love this country. :rolleyes:

I'm bi, but have not told my parents or my siblings, but I think they may have guessed and I know there would not be a problem for most of them, I have heard both my brothers defending homosexuality before, and although my parents are Catholic, they are pretty liberal about their faith. I've told most of my friends, and even if not, I've left it pretty obviously shown on Facebook. One of my best friends is gay, and I know he had quite a struggle coming to terms with it and telling others about it, but in the end, everyone was very accepting which really helped him.

I'm curious for the ones that have 'come out' are any of you only children? has this created any additional problems with your parents regarding grandchildren? Or anything else?

Good question!

Consideration of future generations always figured heavily into the guilt of being gay. I'd always been told that I was the last male in our line and therefore responsible for carrying on the family name. In fact, when my father finally unbunched his panties after the reveal he and my mother sat me down and a discussion ensued over continuing the family's legacy.

My father, entirely serious, suggested that he hire a hooker for me, because all I needed, "...is to get a taste of some pussy!" In lieu of my voluntary cooperation with the plan they threatened to drug me and then hire someone they considered an appropriate surrogate to screw me while unconscious. So, yeah...an important enough topic for parents to advocate the forcible rape of their child.

Crazy town! ;)

J.

i told my mum i thought i was bi-sexual when i was about 15 or 16. she just tried to persuade me that it was just television somehow confusing me into thinking i was. i was quite emotional about it because, right enough, i was confused, but not about what she thought i was confused about, and i was just looking for a bit of reassurance from her. i was confused because i didn't know if bi-sexual was real and i thought i was really weird, she thought i was confused because i didn't think i should fancy guys. i just decided to agree with her and leave it at that. in fact for a while after i just decided i must be completely gay seeing as i fancied guys, and that fancying girls was just a product of my 'straight' upbringing and my mind just doing what was expected of it. it took me a while to realise that bi-sexuality was real and perfectly acceptable. no thanks to my mum and dad.