NationStates Jolt Archive

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/12/06/numbers.armyknife/index.html

Wow. Just... wow.

That's the entire Swiss Army arsenal right there...

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/12/06/numbers.armyknife/index.html

Wow. Just... wow.

I've owned three swiss army knives since I was ten. My first I lost, my second I replaced due to a damaged body panel, and the third I still have. I've had the Victorinox Tinker all three times. *nod*

But can it make me a cup of tea?

how can that fit in a pocket

But can it make me a cup of tea?

Somehow I think it could.

how can that fit in a pocket

I think it comes with it's own pocket.

I think it comes with it's own pocket.

and a tent,camp fire and a blow up doll too, i guess

and a tent,camp fire and a blow up doll too, i guess

It truly does have everything a boy scout could need then.





:eek:

and a tent,camp fire and a blow up doll too, i guess

And a forest to camp in.

And a forest to camp in.

dam forgot that one

It's a monster! :eek:

I'm trying to think of how one would even hold that thing.

This might be the first, say, screwdriver where the actual tool is like two inches long and you're still holding your hands a foot apart.

How typically male. :p

I'm trying to think of how one would even hold that thing.

This might be the first, say, screwdriver where the actual tool is like two inches long and you're still holding your hands a foot apart.

How typically male. :p

I'd bet it comes with a penis enlarger attachment.

I'd bet it comes with a penis enlarger attachment.
It's right next to the extra sharp surgical blade. :)

It's right next to the extra sharp surgical blade. :)

Ah Swiss engineering at it's finest.

My pocket knife is simply a knife, fork, spoon and corkscrew (a.k.a. a "Hobo Tool"). This "monster" doesn't even have a fork or spoon!! I guess the swiss army must use all those other things everyone else mentioned when they need an eating utensil. Were Hobos are apparently a little more pratical in their eating practices.

I don't have a swiss army knife anymore (not in a two dozen years), but I wear a Leatherman now, does that count for anything?

http://www.leatherman.com/products/tools/kick/default.asp

how can that fit in a pocket

Fuck that, how can it fit in your hand? That thing is damn near useless. You can't fit your hand around it to grasp it. Anyone dumb enough to buy one for nearly $1,000 should be condemned to have to use it for every purpose it was designed for to the exclusion of other, better tools.

I didn't read the article. The picture aone was enough for me to do a double take. I thought the point of Swiss Army knives is that they're small but handy. Now it may be more compact than carrying around all those tools, but are you really going to carry all that around? Kind of awkward. They're just stuffing stuff unto that knife for stuff's sake.

What will happen if you forget where the screwdriver is, for example? It should take about half an hour looking it through all the other things...

Mine (http://www.victorinox-shop.de/images/product_images/info_images/3_0327_SwissTool_X_Bild5.jpg). I loves it. And just a tad more convenient than the one in the OP. Just a tad.

Egads... That's huge.

I myself always wanted a Swiss Army Knife that turned into a robot.

:eek: That's ginormous! Where on earth would you put it?!

But can it make me a cup of tea?
Great!

I was going to say until it can brew a decent cup of coffee it's useless. :D


And the second thought was:

How long are you going to spend locked up if they catch you on a plane with that monstrum?

(Given that you managed to take it aboard in the first place...)

(I always carry my Leatherman® with me. ;))

Great!

I was going to say until it can brew a decent cup of coffee it's useless. :D


And the second thought was:

How long are you going to spend locked up if they catch you on a plane with that monstrum?

(Given that you managed to take it aboard in the first place...)

short story a very long time

This (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/tools/6b3b/) is more my speed. ^_^

This (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/tools/6b3b/) is more my speed. ^_^

Cheers, I was looking at that before. Very nice.

How long are you going to spend locked up if they catch you on a plane with that monstrum?
I don't know, you might be able to make an argument that, since it is so large, it would be too unwieldy to pose a threat to anyone anyway.

I just use a cheap ass folding knife with one of those little nubs so it can be flicked open in one hand (like a longer version of this (http://www.mitechtrading.com/images/SK7473-m.jpg)). The pointy bit puts holes in things, and the blade can be used in most philips or flathead screws.
I'm really not sure what else one could need.

I don't have a swiss army knife anymore (not in a two dozen years), but I wear a Leatherman now, does that count for anything?

http://www.leatherman.com/products/tools/kick/default.asp
I was going to say that thing made my Leatherman whimper...I consoled it by telling it it had better pliers. I used to think that people who carried them where a little silly until I had to borrow others too many times. Now I carry one and feel a little silly.
Mine (http://www.victorinox-shop.de/images/product_images/info_images/3_0327_SwissTool_X_Bild5.jpg). I loves it. And just a tad more convenient than the one in the OP. Just a tad.
For some reason, even with what I just said, there is something hot about a chick who carries one. Apparently...

For some reason, even with what I just said, there is something hot about a chick who carries one. Apparently...:p Well, I don't exactly "carry one", I just have one. Like, right now, I used it to open a Nikolaus package my mom sent me and to cut my finger in the process. So sexy. :p

:p Well, I don't exactly "carry one", I just have one. Like, right now, I used it to open a Nikolaus package my mom sent me and to cut my finger in the process. So sexy. :p

I cut myself with mine fidgeting with it. Because I'm super cool like that...

What? No tv remote?

No vibrator either. No hair dryer, no curling iron.

http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/12/06/numbers.armyknife/index.html

Wow. Just... wow.

"Many of you men have never opened Chardonnay under fire! First, extend the screw, screw it in the cork, pull the cork, yell 'Meat or Fish!' and throw!"

"Many of you men have never opened Chardonnay under fire! First, extend the screw, screw it in the cork, pull the cork, yell 'Meat or Fish!' and throw!"

LMAO!! :D

My Swiss Army Knife's pretty plain in comparison. It has everything I need, knife, corkscrew, bottle opener, scissors, phillips head & flat head screwdriver, can opener, etc.

It must be at least 25 years old, but has survived remarkably well. it was my father's before I inherited it. It has even survived being dropped out of an 8th story window! The plastic shroud has fallen off, but the metal frame & tools all function without fault.

My Swiss Army Knife's pretty plain in comparison. It has everything I need, knife, corkscrew, bottle opener, scissors, phillips head & flat head screwdriver, can opener, etc.

It must be at least 25 years old, but has survived remarkably well. it was my father's before I inherited it. It has even survived being dropped out of an 8th story window! The plastic shroud has fallen off, but the metal frame & tools all function without fault.

My dad has a really great one where instead of the plastic faceplates, they are aluminum, and built right into the frame. I hope to inheret it. Great knifes though, all of them. I love mine.

You call that a knife?

I don't actually own a pocket knife. But I do own a massive Crocodile Dundee type knife (like this one (http://www.wholesaleknives.co.uk/images/hunting_and_fishing_knives/ranger_hunting_knife.jpg), just with a wooden handle) we use to cut open coconuts.

Doesn't fit in any pocket, but still a useful tool. It also makes you feel like a man. ;)

You call that a knife?

I don't actually own a pocket knife. But I do own a massive Crocodile Dundee type knife (like this one (http://www.wholesaleknives.co.uk/images/hunting_and_fishing_knives/ranger_hunting_knife.jpg), just with a wooden handle) we use to cut open coconuts.

Doesn't fit in any pocket, but still a useful tool. It also makes you feel like a man. ;)

Now that's a knife!

How does it go down with the ladies?

Now that's a knife!

How does it go down with the ladies?
They scream and run away. :(

That's not a knife it's a club!

*has got worse through airport security before now but still...*

I don't have a swiss army knife anymore (not in a two dozen years), but I wear a Leatherman now, does that count for anything?

http://www.leatherman.com/products/tools/kick/default.asp

i have had my wave for probably 5 years or so now. it has come in very handy and i havnt had any problems with it yet. one of the best knifes i have had

"Many of you men have never opened Chardonnay under fire! First, extend the screw, screw it in the cork, pull the cork, yell 'Meat or Fish!' and throw!"

This is now sigged - I removed one of my favourite political quotes for it. Kudos. http://assets.jolt.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

I saw that in a magazine a month or two ago. It's too big and impractical and MacGyver would never use it.

This is now sigged - I removed one of my favourite political quotes for it. Kudos. http://assets.jolt.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

Wow. Thanks. I graciously accept your kudos.

Next up: The amazing SWISS ARMY POLEARM

CONTAINING: Halberd, Pike, Awl Pike, Glaive, Guisarme, Ranseur, Bec de Corbin, Pen, and flashlight! on a pole!

Next up: The amazing SWISS ARMY POLEARM

CONTAINING: Halberd, Pike, Awl Pike, Glaive, Guisarme, Ranseur, Bec de Corbin, Pen, and flashlight! on a pole!

...and a complementary bottle of Chardonnay to go along with your Swiss Army Knife!

Next up: The amazing SWISS ARMY POLEARM

CONTAINING: Halberd, Pike, Awl Pike, Glaive, Guisarme, Ranseur, Bec de Corbin, Pen, and flashlight! on a pole!

No tweezers? :(

No tweezers? :(

Tweezers are for ninnys. Real men cut things out with knives.