NationStates Jolt Archive


Choose the magic finger...

Aronnax
03-12-2006, 06:00
If you have to choose, would you choose a magic finger that:

1. Makes people have extreamly good orgasm when you poke them.
(It does not work on you)

2. Makes people shit when you poke them
(This does work on you)

I will take the first one cause it would be funny to see the teacher just suddenly go "OMG THis feels so ...." and squirm in class like a caterpillar


poll coming
Zarakon
03-12-2006, 06:05
Orgasm. In before lock.
Pyotr
03-12-2006, 06:07
ROFL!

Please tell me you didn't make this up by yourself.
United Chicken Kleptos
03-12-2006, 06:08
Orgasm finger. It saves so much work.
Wilgrove
03-12-2006, 06:09
The Orgasm finger.
Zarakon
03-12-2006, 06:09
Orgasm finger. It saves so much work.

I wonder if you could injure someone by giving them to many orgasms...
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 06:09
ROFL!

Please tell me you didn't make this up by yourself.

Well i was dreaming of it yesterday and i just remenber it today
FidgetyThings
03-12-2006, 06:12
You have no idea how much suffering I could alleviate in the nursing homes of the world with a magic shit finger.

I'd be a freakin' superhero.
Virtue and Progress
03-12-2006, 06:15
Are you kidding?! Duh. Orgasm finger. I'll be a hit with the ladies, so it wouldn't matter if it worked on me or not.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 06:16
orgasm finger... then I become a doctor...

"exscuse me ma'am, does it hurt here (pokes), what about here (pokes) how about here (pokes)"
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 06:16
Are you kidding?! Duh. Orgasm finger. I'll be a hit with the ladies, so it wouldn't matter if it worked on me or not.

Good point
Big Jim P
03-12-2006, 06:17
I wonder if you could injure someone by giving them to many orgasms...

Define "too many"
Holyawesomeness
03-12-2006, 06:17
You have no idea how much suffering I could alleviate in the nursing homes of the world with a magic shit finger.
Do you realize how much you'd be their hero with a magic orgasm finger too?? :D

Anyway, that being said, I suppose I might pick the orgasm finger. It would help the people I like more, and I could definitely use it to fuck with the minds of those I hated.
Darknovae
03-12-2006, 06:17
I want a magical finger that would offend everyone who could see me!

Oh wait.... I already have two. I'm a lucky girl!

Er.... to the OP, that really depends on who I feel like poking. I poke my friend a lot and either one would be a bit awkward....
Hallucinogenic Tonic
03-12-2006, 06:17
The Orgasm Finger...NO DOUBT!!!
United Chicken Kleptos
03-12-2006, 06:19
I wonder if you could injure someone by giving them to many orgasms...

Possibly. You might even be able to kill them with one long, sustained poke.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 06:19
*Pokes Darknovae* :D
I want a magical finger that would offend everyone who could see me!

Oh wait.... I already have two. I'm a lucky girl!

Er.... to the OP, that really depends on who I feel like poking. I poke my friend a lot and either one would be a bit awkward....

it depends... only one finger does it right?
Big Jim P
03-12-2006, 06:20
Possibly. You might even be able to kill them with one long, sustained poke.

I now know exactly how I want to die.
Hallucinogenic Tonic
03-12-2006, 06:22
Possibly. You might even be able to kill them with one long, sustained poke.

What a way to go out!!! :)
United Chicken Kleptos
03-12-2006, 06:23
Er.... to the OP, that really depends on who I feel like poking. I poke my friend a lot and either one would be a bit awkward....

Well, she'd probably take on a strong liking to you, at least.
Neesika
03-12-2006, 06:23
I realise that the titilation factor of the orgasm finger is very appealing, but I think that most of you are ignoring the potential of the shit finger. What better way to get back at someone than have them shit themselves? Hey boss..what's that? You're not giving me a raise? Well, let bygones be bygones...wanna shake hands??? Oh...NICE TO MEET YOU MR. BUSH.

You could ruin careers...political careers even...which far outweighs anything the orgasm finger could get you.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 06:24
I realise that the titilation factor of the orgasm finger is very appealing, but I think that most of you are ignoring the potential of the shit finger. What better way to get back at someone than have them shit themselves? Hey boss..what's that? You're not giving me a raise? Well, let bygones be bygones...wanna shake hands??? Oh...NICE TO MEET YOU MR. BUSH.

You could ruin careers...political careers even...which far outweighs anything the orgasm finger could get you.

or walk up to Paster Phelps and poke him with the Orgasm finger while he's talking to a male parishioner...

Poke your boss and sue him for sexual harrasement...
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 06:26
I realise that the titilation factor of the orgasm finger is very appealing, but I think that most of you are ignoring the potential of the shit finger. What better way to get back at someone than have them shit themselves? Hey boss..what's that? You're not giving me a raise? Well, let bygones be bygones...wanna shake hands??? Oh...NICE TO MEET YOU MR. BUSH.

You could ruin careers...political careers even...which far outweighs anything the orgasm finger could get you.

It will be funny both ways, to see Bush excuse himself to the toilet with a damp spot at his butt or him shouting for mercy and see a wet spot ar the crotch
Big Jim P
03-12-2006, 06:29
Heres an idea: shit finger on one hand, orgasm finger on the other. Then you go around poking people at random, and they won't know whether they are coming or going.:D
Darknovae
03-12-2006, 06:30
Well, she'd probably take on a strong liking to you, at least.

He. The friend is a he. That's why it would be awkward.
Darknovae
03-12-2006, 06:31
I realise that the titilation factor of the orgasm finger is very appealing, but I think that most of you are ignoring the potential of the shit finger. What better way to get back at someone than have them shit themselves? Hey boss..what's that? You're not giving me a raise? Well, let bygones be bygones...wanna shake hands??? Oh...NICE TO MEET YOU MR. BUSH.

You could ruin careers...political careers even...which far outweighs anything the orgasm finger could get you.

The orgasm finger would be ten times better, in my opinion. It would be funnier to poke somebody you didn't like in public, so yeah you could ruin politcial careers... :D
Big Jim P
03-12-2006, 06:32
He. The friend is a he. That's why it would be awkward.

Then he definately woud take a strong liking to you.
United Chicken Kleptos
03-12-2006, 06:33
He. The friend is a he. That's why it would be awkward.

Well, on the bright side...

...

...

...

Sorry, I can't think of anything.
Zarakon
03-12-2006, 06:49
You could ruin careers...political careers even...which far outweighs anything the orgasm finger could get you.

Dude, let me explain the many ways cumming into your pants would fuck up your political career
New Xero Seven
03-12-2006, 06:49
Orgasm finger.
RESPEK! :eek:
The Minotaur Alliance
03-12-2006, 07:54
You have no idea how much suffering I could alleviate in the nursing homes of the world with a magic shit finger.

I'd be a freakin' superhero.

I have to say.. that is so.. beautiful *sniffles and wipes a tear*
Even if I did selfishly take the orgasm finger >.<
Zarakon
03-12-2006, 07:55
What a way to go out!!! :)

You know, when people get hung they often ejaculate.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 08:18
You know, when people get hung they often ejaculate.

:headbang:

The size of your penis is genetic. You cannot change it without genetic manipulation and or surgery. END. OF. DISCUSSION.

Anyway!

I'd choose the orgasm finger, then go around making every hot person I see orgasm. And maybe crash the occasional church service. Think about it:

"We praise the Lor--what the, who's that running up onto the--OH MY GOD THAT IS SO WONDERFUL!"
JuNii
03-12-2006, 08:20
:headbang:

The size of your penis is genetic. You cannot change it without genetic manipulation and or surgery. END. OF. DISCUSSION.

Anyway!

I'd choose the orgasm finger, then go around making every hot person I see orgasm. And maybe crash the occasional church service. Think about it:

"We praise the Lor--what the, who's that running up onto the--OH MY GOD THAT IS SO WONDERFUL!"

actually wouldn't that be...
"We praise the Lor--what the, who's that running up onto the-- PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Sehvekah
03-12-2006, 08:29
Orgasim... Just for the sake of knowing I can go round giving people "the finger" in ways that would otherwise be throughly illegal.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 08:58
actually wouldn't that be...
"We praise the Lor--what the, who's that running up onto the-- PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Yes, it would be, if you were able to tell a joke in a way that might actually be funny. I, of course, cannot tell a joke in a way that would actually be funny, so of course I do it incorrectly. A pity, that is.
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 09:02
Well, really it depends. Will it be like the Midas Touch, in that everything I touch either has a massive orgasm or empties thier bowels, without being able to control it?

If so, I'd have to go with orgasm. Imagine how awkward sex would be with the second choice.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 09:06
*pokes Kyronea with his magic finger*

here, cheer up! That was ranther rude of me, apologies.

*pokes Kyronea again*

what another?
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 09:15
*pokes Kyronea with his magic finger*

here, cheer up! That was ranther rude of me, apologies.

*pokes Kyronea again*

what another?
I don't know. Are you a woman? :D (Because I have reason to suspect you are, from previous posts, but given that I've been mistaken about many NSers' genders as of late...)
JuNii
03-12-2006, 09:16
I don't know. Are you a woman? :D (Because I have reason to suspect you are, from previous posts, but given that I've been mistaken about many NSers' genders as of late...)

no... are you? :eek:

errmmm

*pokes Pancake again*
Hakeka
03-12-2006, 09:18
:headbang:

The size of your penis is genetic. You cannot change it without genetic manipulation and or surgery. END. OF. DISCUSSION.

Anyway!

I'd choose the orgasm finger, then go around making every hot person I see orgasm. And maybe crash the occasional church service. Think about it:

"We praise the Lor--what the, who's that running up onto the--OH MY GOD THAT IS SO WONDERFUL!"

Sweet mother of God! :)

I'd go with the orgasm finger any day. I have a whole list of people I'd try it out on first thing... :p
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 09:22
no... are you? :eek:

errmmm

*pokes Pancake again*

Wrong again. Damn it. (In case you were wondering, it was that Hawaiian earthquake stuff a while back that had me confused.)

As for my gender...I am, sadly, male. I wish I weren't. :(
JuNii
03-12-2006, 09:30
Wrong again. Damn it. (In case you were wondering, it was that Hawaiian earthquake stuff a while back that had me confused.)

As for my gender...I am, sadly, male. I wish I weren't. :(

eh, no prob. I was closer to my mother and sister, so I do come across a little more feminine than Masculine.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 09:51
eh, no prob. I was closer to my mother and sister, so I do come across a little more feminine than Masculine.

You're lucky. Originally I was going to reply to your post with something akin to "Hawaiian women turn me on" but I couldn't remember how to spell Hawaiian so while I was looking it up I thought better of posting that statement.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 09:58
You're lucky. Originally I was going to reply to your post with something akin to "Hawaiian women turn me on" but I couldn't remember how to spell Hawaiian so while I was looking it up I thought better of posting that statement.

not surprisingly... I would've agreed with you on that statement... which might have upped my popularity here on these boards... but for the wrong reasons... :D
Kanabia
03-12-2006, 10:03
Make people shit finger. What use is the orgasm finger? If I can make anyone orgasm by merely poking them with a finger then what use is my penis?
JuNii
03-12-2006, 10:05
Make people shit finger. What use is the orgasm finger? If I can make anyone orgasm by merely poking them with a finger then what use is my penis?

well, for one thing, you will know she won't be faking it. ;)
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 10:07
well, for one thing, you will know she won't be faking it. ;)

I can see it now...

"Her: Are you finished yet?
You: Of course not...*Pokes her*
Her: OH MY GOD YES!"

Moral of the story: You never need to worry about finishing first again.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 10:11
I can see it now...

"Her: Are you finished yet?
You: Of course not...*Pokes her*
Her: OH MY GOD YES!"

Moral of the story: You never need to worry about finishing first again.
not to mention...

Her: Are you finished yet?
You: Of course not...*Pokes her*
Her: OH MY GOD YES!
You: Oh YES, Here I COME! *Pokes her again*
Her: OH MY GOD!!! *Pokes her again*
Her: OH MY GOD I CAN'T STAND IT!

Congrats, you just gave her a Multiple Orgasm without needing the stamina of a horse.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 10:18
Wait a second: just how good an orgasm are we talking here? Aren't most orgasms judged more by what you feel leading up to it than the orgasm itself? Isn't the foreplay and the action half the point? Wouldn't an orgasm thus lose a lot of its flair if it could occur just be being poked? Furthermore, would this not lead to a diminishing returns problem?

I daresay the orgasm finger isn't looking as good as I first thought it was.
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 10:19
Wait a second: just how good an orgasm are we talking here? Aren't most orgasms judged more by what you feel leading up to it than the orgasm itself? Isn't the foreplay and the action half the point? Wouldn't an orgasm thus lose a lot of its flair if it could occur just be being poked? Furthermore, would this not lead to a diminishing returns problem?

I daresay the orgasm finger isn't looking as good as I first thought it was.

No.

That answer your question? :D
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 10:26
No.

That answer your question? :D
...

*holds orgasm finger on your chest and pushes down*
JuNii
03-12-2006, 10:29
maybe the intesity of the orgasm depends on how hard one pokes.


Ok, that didn't come out right...


or maybe it did...


A light poke = a mild and relaxing release.
A hard jab that nearly breaks skin = mind shattering, will sapping, explosive... uhmmm... climax...

and the longer the poke, the longer the... release.



I need a cold shower right now... see ya in a bit...

edit: nevermind about that shower... I just applied the same rules to the Shit finger...
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 10:30
...

*holds orgasm finger on your chest and pushes down*

I do believe that responding to this in one way or another would be a massive CoC violation.
Big Jim P
03-12-2006, 10:33
maybe the intesity of the orgasm depends on how hard one pokes.


Ok, that didn't come out right...


or maybe it did...


A light poke = a mild and relaxing release.
A hard jab that nearly breaks skin = mind shattering, will sapping, explosive... uhmmm... climax...

and the longer the poke, the longer the... release.



I need a cold shower right now... see ya in a bit...

edit: nevermind about that shower... I just applied the same rules to the Shit finger...

Well, there goes my libido for a week or so.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 10:38
I do believe that responding to this in one way or another would be a massive CoC violation.

CoC?

And the idea was to make you orgasm till you perished in a pool of your own semen.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 10:41
CoC?

And the idea was to make you orgasm till you perished in a pool of your own semen.

... just remember... you're standing infront of him... the "gun" that is firing is pointing... right... at... you!
:p :D
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 10:41
CoC?

Code of Conduct, or whatever it is called here. CoC was the abreviation used on another forum I was a part of, and I guess it kind of stuck.



And the idea was to make you orgasm till you perished in a pool of your own semen.

Would I run out before that happened? Or my testicles burst?
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 10:44
... just remember... you're standing infront of him... the "gun" that is firing is pointing... right... at... you!
:p :D
But it's in his pants. Thus, I am safe.

Seangoli: I don't know. No one has ever died of excessive orgasming before, so far as I know.
Dinaverg
03-12-2006, 10:48
Heres an idea: shit finger on one hand, orgasm finger on the other. Then you go around poking people at random, and they won't know whether they are coming or going.:D

Teehee, nice one.
Hamilay
03-12-2006, 10:50
Most disturbing thread ever.
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 10:53
Most disturbing thread ever.

Especially if you consider certain fetishes involving the shit finger.

Well, my work here is done. My time at NSG is complete.
Hamilay
03-12-2006, 10:54
Especially if you consider certain fetishes involving the shit finger.

Well, my work here is done. My time at NSG is complete.
...

Yes. Yes, it certainly is now. Sorry, old boy.

*points to door*
Big Jim P
03-12-2006, 10:57
Teehee, nice one.

Thank you.

Most disturbing thread ever.

I've seen worse.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 11:02
Especially if you consider certain fetishes involving the shit finger.

Well, my work here is done. My time at NSG is complete.

...

World damn it. DAMN IT ALL TO RECYCLE BIN!
Branin
03-12-2006, 11:02
edit: nevermind about that shower... I just applied the same rules to the Shit finger...
Have I ever told you how much I hate you.
Akai Oni
03-12-2006, 11:04
I want the orgasm finger! That way, being single isn't such a problem. It's too much effort to masturbate for multiples.
Akai Oni
03-12-2006, 11:06
Especially if you consider certain fetishes involving the shit finger.

Well, my work here is done. My time at NSG is complete.

You just ruined it for me. There always has to be one on NSG...

*cries*
JuNii
03-12-2006, 11:07
But it's in his pants. Thus, I am safe.

Seangoli: I don't know. No one has ever died of excessive orgasming before, so far as I know.untill he unzips his fly...

Have I ever told you how much I hate you.

...


...


not today... no... :p
JuNii
03-12-2006, 11:08
You just ruined it for me. There always has to be one on NSG...

*cries*

*pokes Akai Oni*
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 11:10
You just ruined it for me. There always has to be one on NSG...

*cries*

Indeed. You want to make sure to not poke the wrong... or right for that matter... person with the latter finger. Could turn out awkward.

Man, I really ruin things.
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 11:13
untill he unzips his fly...



...


...


not today... no... :p

1. He probably has underwear.

2. With the sheer intensity caused by how hard I am jamming my finger into his sternum he won't even have a chance. Indeed, I am much more likely to have his corpse fall on me than anything else.
Seangoli
03-12-2006, 11:18
1. He probably has underwear.


I go commando, for cases just like this. You never know what is going to happen. Plus, it is so liberating.

2. With the sheer intensity caused by how hard I am jamming my finger into his sternum he won't even have a chance. Indeed, I am much more likely to have his corpse fall on me than anything else.[/QUOTE]

In which turn, you will have a nice "juicy" corpse on top of you.
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 11:31
I go commando, for cases just like this. You never know what is going to happen. Plus, it is so liberating.

2. With the sheer intensity caused by how hard I am jamming my finger into his sternum he won't even have a chance. Indeed, I am much more likely to have his corpse fall on me than anything else.

In which turn, you will have a nice "juicy" corpse on top of you.[/QUOTE]

How very.......discriptive.....
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 11:33
I go commando, for cases just like this. You never know what is going to happen. Plus, it is so liberating.

2. With the sheer intensity caused by how hard I am jamming my finger into his sternum he won't even have a chance. Indeed, I am much more likely to have his corpse fall on me than anything else.

In which turn, you will have a nice "juicy" corpse on top of you.
Worst case sitaution, I end up with semen on me. Whoop-de-shit. Happens all the time anyway.
JuNii
03-12-2006, 11:36
Worst case sitaution, I end up with semen on me. Whoop-de-shit. Happens all the time anyway.
Too


Much



Information
Harlesburg
03-12-2006, 11:41
Orgasm finger.
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 11:42
.....Happens all the time anyway.

That is just too.............

*shaking
Branin
03-12-2006, 11:44
Orgasm finger.

*runs away*
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 11:49
Too


Much



Information

I probably shouldn't have said that, huh? I'd elaborate on what I meant, but I can gather you're not interested in hearing about it.
Akai Oni
03-12-2006, 11:52
*pokes Akai Oni*

Tell me that's the good finger...
JuNii
03-12-2006, 12:00
Tell me that's the good finger...

since I don't know what you consider the "Good finger" let's just say I am NOT one of the four in the poll. ;)
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 12:04
The shit finger is being neglected
Akai Oni
03-12-2006, 12:39
since I don't know what you consider the "Good finger" let's just say I am NOT one of the four in the poll. ;)


then its definitely the good finger. Poke me again?
Akai Oni
03-12-2006, 12:41
The shit finger is being neglected

its competition is just too strong.
German Nightmare
03-12-2006, 13:31
A combination of the two would be hilarious!

At the hight of climax they shit themselves. :D
Kyronea
03-12-2006, 13:43
A combination of the two would be hilarious!

At the hight of climax they shit themselves. :D

That reminds me of a rather disgusting doujin I once had the displeasure of viewing. Thank you very much. :mad:
Rejistania
03-12-2006, 13:43
A combination of the two would be hilarious!

At the hight of climax they shit themselves. :D

you win!
Aronnax
03-12-2006, 13:59
A combination of the two would be hilarious!

At the hight of climax they shit themselves. :D


:D :p :D :p HAhahahahahaha!!!!!
German Nightmare
03-12-2006, 14:09
That reminds me of a rather disgusting doujin I once had the displeasure of viewing. Thank you very much. :mad:
My pleasure. :p
you win!
Although Big Jim P already hinted towards it, I simply took it one step beyond...
:D :p :D :p HAhahahahahaha!!!!!
;)
Pie and Beer
03-12-2006, 14:30
orgasm finger, no question. instantly solve the problem of 'performance anxiety'.
Minaris
03-12-2006, 15:14
I want a magical finger that would offend everyone who could see me!

Oh wait.... I already have two. I'm a lucky girl!

Er.... to the OP, that really depends on who I feel like poking. I poke my friend a lot and either one would be a bit awkward....

That'd be hilarious... :D
Jello Biafra
03-12-2006, 15:32
<Chooses one.>
<Pokes all of you.>
Harlesburg
04-12-2006, 05:45
*runs away*
*Doesn't chase after*